Um…wow…I don't even want to think about how long it's been since I've updated this. If anyone is still reading it then I apologize for the years that it's taken me…I guess I sort of got distracted. I also can't promise when my next update will be, all I can say is that I hope it doesn't take nearly as long.

The pub was dark with an overwhelming stench of ale and rough voices of rowdy men-the kind of place that practically screamed depravity and all things sinister. Yet she was there. He could see her at the bar, her shoulders slumped, her hair loose and curling like green coiled ribbon down her back. She didn't belong, that much was clear.

"Terra?"

She turned her head, eyes slightly unfocused, but suddenly her face split into a grin. "Locke? What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you, Edgar was worried…said that you were well on your way to joining the ranks of the unwashed and morally corrupt." He said it jokingly but he knew there was reason behind Edgar's concern. "You alright?"

"Of course, the war is over, isn't it?" She waved her arm drunkenly, signaling for the bartender. "Can I have another one, please?" A moment later and she set the stein down with a thunk.

He raised an eyebrow, "I don't recall you ever having a particular liking for ale." In fact he could remember her practically choking it down the few times the whole group had been out drinking. "How many have you had?"

She shrugged, "Dunno…I might've lost count…well I guess I did lose count. Is that bad do you think?"

Yes, there was definitely something wrong. "How about we get out of here and discuss it? This isn't exactly the sort of place you should be hanging out in."

That was apparently the wrong thing to say. "And why shouldn't I? I'm not a child. I know you all treated me like one, saw me as one, but I'm not. I'm a perfectly capable woman, just because I can't remember my childhood doesn't mean that…well I guess that's not true I do remember some things but I don't want to remember them because they aren't very nice things. Anyways, I came here because of the date Edgar and I went on yesterday and it was just so…strange. I wanted to sort out my thoughts."

He took it back. Something was very wrong. "How about if you and I get out of here and then we can talk about things?"

"I don't want to talk about it," she stood up and staggered forwards; he grabbed her by the shoulders to steady her. The contact nearly made her jump a foot in the air. "Let me go, I'm perfectly fine."

"You aren't fine, you're drunk." He grabbed her wrist, "And we're leaving."

She yanked her hand away, "I can get out of here on my own, thank you very much. I don't need your help." She stumbled towards the door and he hastily tossed gold pieces onto the bar and trailed after her.

He caught up with her outside. "Come on, I'm taking you back."

They walked back to the castle from the town, though he had to halfway carry her the whole way. Luckily it wasn't very far and he succeeded in getting her safely back inside. He wasn't quite sure what she had been talking about on their walk, she'd been rambling on about something but he had been too busy trying to make sure she didn't kill herself in the dark to pay attention to details. And he was pretty sure she didn't even remember. He didn't exactly have time to figure it out either because as he was taking her down to her room Edgar pounced. "You found her! Wonderful, is she alright?"

Locke started to push her down the corridor "Terra just needs to get to bed."

"I do not." She argued.

"Yes, you do."

Seeing Locke's insistence Edgar shrugged, slightly put off. "Take care of her, alright?"

Locke nodded. As they walked she began to talk.

"The reason I was at the pub in the first place was because I wanted to get away for little while to think about everything…because I realized that it feels like there's a piece of missing…which there is I guess and then I was thinking about how to make it go away but it's being filled up with all these memories but they're memories that I don't think that I want back. And then yesterday with Edgar I thought that maybe things would be okay and that I could just enjoy everything but it didn't feel right being with him and then I thought of you and how much I would have rather been with you than him."

He froze. What? "I-you-what?"

"Kiss me." She was gazing at him with those large green eyes of hers and even though she was obviously drunk and even though her request was anything but, she was still full of innocence.

Damn. It wasn't like he hadn't ever thought of it, the girl was gorgeous and he was pretty much in love with her, but she was Terra. Little sweet Terra. This was not her. "That's really not a good idea."

"Please? Just one kiss?"

"No, that really wouldn't be appropriate. I think it's time for you to go to bed."

"You can't put me to bed, I'm not a child!" As she said that they had reached her room. "Come on, just one kiss? Just one."

No. Just no. It was wrong on so many levels. So so so many levels. She was completely gone, in fact he was pretty sure she was to the point that she could add this night to the list of memories that she couldn't actually remember. Even Edgar would know better than to take advantage of her. "No. But I will stay here with you until you go to sleep."

She ran a hand along his back. "Just one kiss." Her other hand followed sending shivers down his spine.

No. He couldn't. He couldn't do it. He had to resist. Damn those eyes of hers.

And then before he could register what was happening she was kissing him and he was kissing her back. Finally he pulled back, "Terra stop. This has to mean something to you, you can't kiss someone, not like that, and have it not mean anything."

She gazed up at him. He didn't understand. She needed someone, she needed to not feel alone, she needed to fill that empty space. They were on her bed at this point and she circled her arms around his neck, "I don't know if it means anything. Not yet." She kissed him again.

He wanted to stop, he really did, but by the gods how was he supposed to. He loved her. He had told Celes, who had been surprisingly fine with it. Oh she had been angry but it was something he could tell that she would eventually forgive him of. What he was pretty sure Celes wouldn't forgive him of was if he took advantage of Terra. He stood up, "Terra listen to me…I can't do this. Not now."

She reached for him, "Then at least stay with me. Please, just stay."

That he could do.

He had a feeling he was going to regret it in the morning.

Please review.