Mambo no Jutsu
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A Naruto Filk
by Tobu Ishi
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Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Mambo no Jutsu.
Ichi ni san shi go
You seen the Ninja Centerfold and you think it's so
Easy--you form the seal of the ram--Crazy damn!
There's a super sexy chick starin' back from the mirror
So you thought you'd try it too
Well good luck pal, I feel sorry for you
It took hours and hours of tough exper'mentation
To get the right blend of sexualization
"How do you do it Boss?" you're askin' me every day
Well fine, I'll tell you just to make ya go away
Listen up close for my explanation
Of my sweet inspiration
A little bit of Sakura's spunk and verve
A little bit of Kurenai's endless curves
A little bit of Ino's gorgeous hair
A little bit of Hinata's soft-eyed stare
A little bit of sugar and a pinch of spice
A little bit of Icha Icha Paradise
A little bit of chakra and behold!
You've got yourself a Ninja Centerfold
The Mambo no Jutsu!
Shake out those hands, twist 'em up like rubber bands
Into rabbits and dragons and tigers and rams
Reach deep inside for chakra to mold
Mix it up good and then let it blow
Strike a pose once and shake your hips twice
And if he's passed out cold then you're doin' it right
Ya got Sakura's spunk and verve
A little bit of Kurenai's endless curves
A little bit of Ino's gorgeous hair
A little bit of Hinata's soft-eyed stare
A little bit of sugar and a pinch of spice
A little bit of Icha Icha Paradise
A little bit of chakra and behold!
You've got yourself a Ninja Centerfold
(spoken)
Now I wanna see you practice!
Strike your best sexy pose!
(instrumental)
Taller! Thinner!
Look, it's called SEXY no jutsu!
(end of instrumental)
Ugh...let's review...
A little bit of Sakura's spunk and verve
A little bit of Kurenai's endless curves
A little bit of Ino's gorgeous hair
A little bit of Hinata's soft-eyed stare
A little bit of sugar and a pinch of spice
A little bit of Icha Icha Paradise
A little bit of Chakra and behold!
You've got yourself a Ninja Centerfold
I've taught my best
It's up to you to do the rest
So practice hard and do real well
And get out there and give 'em hell!
The Mambo no Jutsu!
Hahaha...
A/N: This was posted in response to a demand for the lyrics, after I performed it as guest entertainment at Kumoricon 2004. To everyone who was in that crowd, you guys so OWN! Especially those of you who actually stood up and posed. You are so teh smex. That took guts. Oh, and extra points go to the Cloud who crashed the stage while I was singing Midgar Booty afterward. Your light-up sword is so huge and out-there. Dude.
-cheerfully, FilkAeris (Tobu Ishi)