Without further ado… I give you drumroll Gaara!

DISCLAIMER – I DON'T own Naruto. I do own Shinzui and most of his techniques.

"I FUCKING HATE THIS DESERT!" Kurenai's scream shattered the peaceful quiet as the three genin trekked across the vast desert on the way to Suna, the Hidden Village of Sand. Needless to say… it was hot. Quite hot. Impossibly and stiflingly so.

Shinzui sighed and looked up at the taller (something that still got on his nerves) girl. "Look, Kurenai, we're taking the fastest route there. It would be suicidal to run in the desert, all it would do is make you dehydrated faster. We're almost there, alright?" He wiped his forehead and took a rationed swig from his canteen.

Iruka trudged up to them, almost wilting from the heat. "It'll be cooler once we're in the village, right?"

"I doubt it." Iruka groaned and resumed his plodding. Shinzui pulled a stick of pocky out of his pocket and made a face.

'Stupid heat, making it all melty…' Grumbling, he snarfed it down anyway.

Kyuubi snorted from his cage. ("It can't be healthy to eat that much of that shit. You've already gone through a box today. You're as bad as the other kit with ramen…") Shinzui snickered.

'And I'm proud of it. Besides, it's Kurenai's fault for introducing it to me.' His team had been sent to Suna to deliver a scroll from the Hokage to the Kazekage. Shinzui, on the other hand, had been specially requested by the Kazekage.

FLASHBACK

"The Kazekage specially requested me! Why the hell would he do that?" Shinzui demanded.

Sarutobi took a long puff from his pipe before answering. "It seems that there have been unexplained phenomena around his house, and he requested someone with paranormal expertise to go and eliminate the problem."

Shinzui looked up at the old man. "I'll do it, but I expect one hell of a bonus if I have to take on something nasty, you hear me?"

END FLASHBACK

Iruka's yell of "Are those walls?" brought the smaller boy out of the recesses of his mind and he looked up to see the formidable walls of Suna.

Kurenai's mood flipped from 'pissed-bordering-on-homicidal' to relieved. "It's about freaking time! C'mon you guys!" she yelled as she sprinted for the walls, Iruka close behind.

Shinzui calmly strolled after them, and caught up with them at the gate. The guard looked down from his outpost about two stories up, and sneered at them.

He leaned over the edge. "Konoha? Whadda YOU want?"

Shinzui looked way up (dammit I hate being short) and met the guard's eyes. "We're here to deliver a scroll to Kazekage-sama, retard. Open the gates." Kurenai snickered at the man's flustered expression as he opened the huge gates and let them into the city.

The three of them were escorted through the village to the offices of the Kazekage. Once they arrived, the secretary inside looked up at them from her notes.

"You're the team from Konoha? Go on in, you're expected." Shinzui led the others into the main office. Seated behind a large desk was the Kazekage.

Shinzui immediately disliked the man. 'I don't like him already, he smells like a sleazeball.' Kyuubi growled his assent as the three genin bowed.

The leader waved them to a seat. "I'm glad you made it safely. The desert is an unforgiving one if she does not will you to cross. I trust you have brought the scroll?"

Shinzui handed it to him, and he opened it and skimmed through the first part before looking back up at them. "Very good. You will be escorted to your hotel where you will stay for the night. It is very unsafe to travel in the desert at night. You." He pointed at Shinzui. "Will stay behind for a word with me." Kurenai and Iruka hesitated to leave before Shinzui waved them off.

"I'll be fine. Go relax and cool off." They walked out slowly and closed the door.

Shinzui turned to face the older man. "So, you have a job for me?"

"Yes, I do, Subete-san. Hokage-dono informed you of the situation, correct?"

"Yes, but he was rather vague on the details. Have these 'strange happenings,' as you put them, hurt or killed anyone yet?"

The Kazekage shook his head before replying. "No, and I would prefer the problem be eliminated before it comes to that. We may discuss your fee after you fix it. Kunta!" At the Kazekage's bellow, a chuunin came into the room. "Escort Subete-san to my house, and wait outside until he is finished. Then you will escort him back here to pick up his fee, then to the Oasis, where he will be staying for the night."

The chuunin bowed. "As you wish, Kazekage-sama."

Shinzui bowed before following the chuunin out of the room.

'Holy shit… I want HIS paycheck…' Shinzui numbly thought as he looked up at the huge manor that belonged to the village leader. Shinzui knocked on the door, and it was whipped open. A small girl, slightly older than Naruto, looked up at him. Her sandy-blonde hair was up in four pigtails.

Her emerald green eyes squinted up at him. "Who're you?"

Shinzui chuckled and squatted down so he was at her level. "Ore wa Subete Shinzui. Who are you, chibi?"

She puffed her cheeks out and crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm not a chibi! I'm five years old! Watashi wa Sabakuno Temari." Realization flickered in her eyes. "Are you the man tou-san sent to get rid of the scary things?"

"Yeah, that's me." Shinzui said as he stood up. She all but dragged him inside and up the stairs. "Whoa there, Temari-chan! Can you show me where the scary things are?"

Temari looked at him over his shoulder like he was an idiot. "I'm taking you to where they are, of course!" She stopped in front of a room and hid behind him. "There are some in there, and other places…"

Shinzui grabbed the doorknob and took a deep breath. "Right then. I'll clear out the ones in here, and then we'll take care of the rest." He opened the door and narrowed his eyes as he saw a room full of people… that were all transparent. They all turned to look at him, and he saw their chains of fate were bound to the floor. Their eyes screamed for help, and they all reached for him.

"So… you're stuck here by something…" Shinzui drew his overly large sword and walked inside. The ghost closest to him kneeled, and Shinzui tapped the hilt of his sword against the man's forehead, leaving a seal. The ghost vanished into the floor, and a black moth flew out the window. "Next."

Temari's mouth was hanging open as the room in front of her got less and less scary.

'How's he doing that? All he's doing is moving his sword around!'

Shinzui closed the door and rested his sword on his shoulder. "Well Temari-chan, where to next?" It continued in much the same fashion for most of the rooms. Almost all of them had at least one ghost that was eager to pass on. When they were nearing a door at the end of a hallway, Temari stopped walking and just pointed at it, her eyes wide with fear.

"That's the worst room." She whispered, backing away from the door. Shinzui started walking towards it, and his mind was assaulted with killing intent the closer he got to it.

'Damn… this much killing intent...'

Kyuubi was almost vibrating with excitement. ("Time to meet your first Hollow, kit.")

'My first WHAT! Oh SHIT!' He swallowed nervously, raised his sword, and kicked the door in. Spiritual energy rolled out of the door and pushed him back. Belatedly, he noticed seals all over the door. 'Whoopsie toopsie.'

"Free… It's open…" The Hollow turned and looked at Shinzui. Its body was ridiculously squished into the tiny room. Huge pincers clacked together while the stinger on the end of its tail whipped back and forth in the air.

"A scorpion. Great. Just what I needed." Shinzui muttered before taking a sword stance with his sword held securely in front of him. "Well, I'll get to see how my training pays off."

The Hollow lunged forward, shattering the wall around the door in its mad dash for Shinzui. "GIVE ME FOOD! GIVE ME A SOOOOUUL!" Shinzui blocked a strike from one claw to be sent flying through a wall by the other. It was at this time that Shinzui realized they were on the eighth floor.

"SHIT!" he screamed as he hung in the air momentarily. His mind raced and remembered a kinjutsu that Kyuubi had taught him the other day. 'Here goes nothing! Inu, nezumi, hebi, saru, uma, ryu, inu, hebi, nezumi, tori, tora, tori!' "Kuuenbu no Jutsu!" Shinzui slid to a halt and regained his footing… in the middle of the air. "IT WORKED! KICK ASS!"

The Hollow stared at him in confusion. The meatbag didn't have wings, so how was it flying? No matter, it would be a tasty meal. It sprung out the hole it made after him and scuttled up onto the roof. Shinzui held his sword at his side, away from the ground far below him. "Hadangeki!" he shouted as he poured chakra into his sword and swung it as hard as it could. An almost invisible blade soared through the air with the speed of lightning and sliced the Hollow's tail right off, the severed appendage dissolving into energy. Howling in pain, the Hollow didn't notice Shinzui running into the air over it. He held his sword with one hand while making half seals with the other.

'Ryu, tora, tori, saru, inu, uma, oushi, oohitsuji, ousuubuta, tori!' "Hyouretsuzan!" he yelled as he stabbed his sword downward and cancelled his Kuuenbu. A huge icicle formed around the sword blade and speared the Hollow through the middle, pinning it to the roof. It screamed an unearthly cry of rage and pain as it flailed at him. Shinzui pulled his sword from the icicle, leaving it where it was.

'This requires timing… Ah screw it.' He jumped down right in front of the Hollow's face and swung his sword as hard as he could. "GO TO HEAVEN!" The Hollow's head was split cleanly in half, and Shinzui yanked his sword out of the ground. It slowly split apart and the bits floated up into the sky. Shinzui slowly made his way down the steps to a shell-shocked Temari.

"You… you killed it…" she murmured, looking up at him with wide eyes.

Shinzui chuckled. I guess I did, didn't I?" The little girl's only response was to glomp him and refuse to let go.

Shinzui made his way back to the Kazekage's office after successfully detaching the small girl from himself. He sat down heavily in the chair in front of the Kazekage's desk and looked him in the eye.

The leader raised an eyebrow. "How bad was it?"

Shinzui sighed heavily. "You had seventy-eight fixated ghosts in your house… and one highly evil spirit." The Kazekage winced visibly.

"I was not aware that it was that bad. You will be properly rewarded for your hard work."

'I fucking better be.' He darkly thought.

The Kazekage withdrew a bag from under his desk. "I believe 75 ryou per fixated ghost is appropriate, do you not?" Shinzui did some mental math. 78 times 75 is… holy crap. He nodded, keeping his giddy expression from his face. "5,850 Ryou it is, then… and for the evil spirit… It was quite hard to seal it away, and since you eliminated it… Another 5,000 Ryou is appropriate." He laid the money out on the table and Shinzui tried not to drool. He'd just made almost 11,000 Ryou in one afternoon. The Kazekage laid an extra 1,000 Ryou down for the already agreed upon mission expenses. Shinzui took the money, bowed, and walked out of the office. He practically floated down the street.

Kyuubi chuckled. ("Nice job today, kit. You actually used Kuuenbu and two kinjutsu. Very impressive… for a human ape-rat.")

Shinzui just snickered. 'How much did that hurt to say? Thanks, though, fox.'

"It's the weapon! Run!" Well that killed his buzz pretty damn well. He looked over at where the shouts came from and saw a group of kids running away from a redheaded boy with rings around his eyes.

'Gaara…' Shinzui thought, his heart constricting at the sight of the lost little boy.

("Shukaku…") Kyuubi growled from his cage. Shinzui made up his mind and walked over to him.

"Ne, what's wrong kid? Nobody wants to play with you?"

"Ne, what's wrong kid? Nobody wants to play with you?" Gaara whirled and looked up at an older boy with green hair.

'Who is he? Why isn't he scared of me?' The other boy picked up the ball from where the kids had dropped it.

"C'mon, I'll play some kickball with you. My name's Shinzui, what's yours?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"… Gaara…" His voice was so quiet, Shinzui almost missed it. "Shinzui-san… Why aren't you scared of me? There's a monster in me." Shinzui smiled and laughed slightly.

"Oh, Gaara, I couldn't be scared of you because we're the same."

Gaara's eyes widened. "… The same…? What do you mean?"

Shinzui knelt down at his level. "I have a monster inside of me too. Well, half of one. I share it with my little brother, because it was so strong it couldn't be kept in just one person. I know what you must go through every day, all the hate…" Gaara's eyes started to water as he looked at the older boy before Shinzui gently kicked the ball to him.

Gaara had a happy smile on his face as he hugged his new teddy bear. It was almost the same size as him, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that Shinzui-san bought it just for him. Shinzui-san had also played with him for over an hour. He didn't get scared once, either. The only other person that was this nice to him was Yashamaru-san. Shinzui ruffled his hair, making Gaara squirm.

Shinzui was trying hard not to laugh hysterically at the incredulous looks he was getting with Gaara.

"Shinzui-san? How long are you going to be here?" He asked quietly.

Shinzui scratched his chin and looked down at Gaara. "My team and I have to go back home tomorrow morning." Gaara's face fell.

"Gaara-sama! There you are, I've been looking everywhere for you!" Yashamaru said as he ran up, out of breath.

Shinzui knelt by Gaara's side and whispered into his ear. "I'm staying at the Oasis, on the fourth floor, in room 403. If something bad happens, come there." he said before standing and walking off, Gaara's eyes following him the whole way, even when he let himself be dragged home by Yashamaru.

Shinzui knocked on the door to Kurenai and Iruka's room and was dragged inside by Kurenai. "Something wrong Kurenai?"

Said girl whapped him over the back of the head while Iruka just wisely minded his own business. "Baka! Where the hell were you?"

Shinzui rubbed his head where she had hit him. "Doing my mission. I had to clean out the Kazekage's house of ghosts and anything else weird."

Kurenai deflated slightly. "Oh. Why didn't you say so?"

Shinzui shrugged his shoulders. "Didn't seem that important at the time. So, we're leaving tomorrow morning after sunrise, that's when it's supposed to be the coolest. Not that cool is a word that one associates with a desert…" To kill time, they just stayed inside and played strategy games, which were fairly one-sided in Iruka's favor.

Later, when Iruka had already fallen asleep, Kurenai pulled the covers over herself and looked at Shinzui. "Aren't you going to sleep?"

Shinzui glanced at her before walking out of their room. "I'm waiting for someone." He closed the door and walked to his own room. "He should be here soon." He muttered as his eyes flared red out of anger.

Gaara ran through the streets of the village as fast as his little feet could carry him, his teddy bear flying behind him in the air. His eyes were full of tears and he was sobbing uncontrollably.

'How could he? How could Yashamaru-san do that?' He'd told Gaara that everyone hated him, even Shinzui-san. No, that's impossible. Shinzui-san couldn't hate him, they both had monsters inside them. He made out the blurry form of the Oasis, the best hotel in Suna through his tears. He ran through the door, effectively scaring all the occupants of the lobby shitless. He kept running past the frozen workers and guests, up to the fourth floor. His legs were burning from his cross-city run, but he kept running until he found room 403. He gasped for air as he knocked on the door, which opened right away.

Shinzui looked down at the almost hysterical Gaara, who had sand floating around his body. "What happened, Gaara?" he asked with a gentle voice as he knelt down.

Gaara choked back a sob as he looked at the other boy. "Y-Y-Yashamaru-san… h-he tried… to k-kill me!" he collapsed into full-blown wails of sorrow as Shinzui picked him up in a hug the best that he could, closing the door behind them. He deposited the crying boy on the other bed as he kept sobbing.

"You're okay though, aren't you? Not hurt or anything?" Shinzui asked, rubbing the boy's back.

"N-N-No, b-but… H-He said… that everyone hates me… even you…" he finished in a whisper.

Shinzui snorted. "Bullshit. That's complete and total bullshit, Gaara, and you shouldn't believe a word of it." He glanced at the ghost hovering in the air over the small boy. "Your mother could never hate you, Gaara. She died loving you, she died for you, not because of you, and she always will love you. I could never hate you, Gaara. Never, you hear me?" Gaara was staring up at him in wonder. He… He didn't hate him… and he said his mother didn't hate him.

"How can you be sure… she didn't hate me…?" he asked, his voice trembling.

Shinzui ruffled his hair. "It's my job to relate with the dead, Gaara. I know for sure she doesn't hate you. Wanna know something? My little brother, Naruto, he's just about your age. I bet you two'd be great friends." Garra wiped his eyes.

"Can I come home with you? I don't like it here." Shinzui scratched his head, then remembered that he still owed Sarutobi payback for sticking him as team leader.

"Of course you can. Do you have anything you want from your house?" Gaara shook his head as he took off a small, makeshift sling that contained a few drawings and a picture of his mother, as well as a small hourglass filled with white sand. He gave a huge yawn, and blinked his eyes.

"Go to sleep, Gaara. I'll make sure your monster doesn't do anything." Gaara almost immediately slumped over and was out like a light. Shinzui laid him down on the bed and looked at the ghost floating over the small form.

"Did I say the right things, Sabakuno-san?" he quietly asked the ghost of Gaara's mother.

She smiled, and nodded. "Yes, you did. Thank you so much for taking care of my little boy, since I can't do anything…" she added, furious with herself.

"Actually, nee-san, there is something you can do. My… teacher, taught me a sealing technique. It needs a soul to work, a soul of a person that loves the person to be sealed-"

She cut him off. "I'll do it. I don't care what it takes, but I want him to be safe and happy."

"If you're sure… You'll be sealed inside his mind, strengthening the… less than satisfactory job your husband did."

Her eyes darkened. "I used to love him… What a fool I've been." Shinzui had already started on the hand seals, Kyuubi showing them to him inside his mind.

"Nice meeting you, Sabakuno-san." She smiled and bowed as Shinzui made the last seal and grabbed her hand with one hand, placing his other hand over Gaara's stomach.

"Ai no Keppan!" His arms felt like they were on fire as she passed through his arms and into Gaara. Once it was finished, he collapsed on the other bed, completely spent.

Someone was pounding on his door… What time was it anyway? He stumbled to the door and opened it, trying to ignore his pounding headache.

Kurenai giggled at him. "You look like hell, Shinzui-nii. What exactly did you do last night?"

"Grnf. Shut up, Kurenai. Are we ready to go?" He had turned around and grabbed his bag of things as he talked to her. The headache would go away eventually.

Kurenai and Iruka walked further into the room and saw Gaara curled up on the bed with his bear, still sound asleep. "Who's this?" Iruka asked as he walked over. "Shinzui! This is the Kazekage's son!"

"Very good, Iruka. Let him have his sleep for now, he hasn't had much in his life."

Kurenai traced the rings around his eyes. "He looks like a panda. What's his name?"

Shinzui chuckled as he walked back over and picked up Gaara's things. "Gaara. He's coming back with us to Konoha."

"But that's going to be impossible to sneak him out of the village!" Iruka said, ever the practical worrywart.

Shinzui picked him up on his back. "Why do you think I wanted to leave before sunrise? We're going by the rooftops, as fast as you can. Now." The three genin shot out the window and across the roofs of the sleeping village, never slowing down, even when they vaulted over a blindspot in the wall and into the desert. After five minutes of running at their top speed, Kurenai started to slow down, and so did Iruka. The three of them stopped and started walking normally.

"Well… that was… some good exercise!" Iruka said in-between gasps for air. Kurenai muttered something under her breath that most definitely wasn't for younger ears.

Sarutobi looked down at the emerald-haired shinigami/demon vessel and sighed deeply.

"You want to adopt him? Have you thought of what his father-"

"Doesn't care about him at all." Shinzui butted in. "You owe me, old man. Time to pay up. I don't care how, but make this work."

Sarutobi glared at him, and he glared back. "Fine. But we're more than even after this… I don't even want to think about how much paperwork this is going to take…" he grumbled as he waved the kids out of his office.

Gaara smiled up at his new brother and looked around, still holding Shinzui's hand. Then the peace and quiet was shattered.

"ANIKI!" Naruto shouted as he tackled the older boy and tried to crush him in a hug. "YOU'REBACKYOU'REBACK! Huh, who's this?" he asked, letting go of Shinzui and looking at Gaara.

"Naruto, this is Gaara, your new otouto. Gaara, this is Naruto, your aniki." Gaara and Naruto stared at one another for a second before Naruto hugged the redhead and started babbling on while a grin etched itself on Gaara's face.

"So Gaara, what's your favorite kind of ramen?"

Gaara looked confused. "Ramen? What's that?"

Naruto's jaw dropped. "NO WAY! You've never had ramen? You HAVE to have it, it's the best food there is!" Naruto dragged the smaller boy behind him, Gaara dragging his bear along. Shinzui followed them and chuckled at Naruto's antics. Gaara seemed to like Naruto well enough, so that worked okay. The three arrived at Ichiraku and Shinzui took a seat by Naruto and a confused Gaara.

"Oi, Teuchi-san, could we get some ramen over here? Naruto's gonna burst an artery unless he gets some, I think."

Ayame's heart leapt into her throat when she heard his voice. She spun around and saw him sitting at the counter again. Blushing madly, she willed herself to speak.

'C'mon Ayame, you can do this. Just welcome him home, nothing hard. So simple to do. Right…?' She took a deep breath. "W-W-Welcome h-home, Sh-Shinzui-k-k-kun!" she stuttered out. He turned to her and smiled broadly at her.

"It's good to be home, Ayame-chan. How are you doing?" Her heart turned into that warm puddle again as she stammered something and turned back to the stove with a dreamy look on her face. Teuchi laughed, and Kyuubi howled hysterically inside Shinzui's head.

("Damn boy, are you SURE you're not trying to mate her?") Shinzui blushed and managed to suppress his exclamation into another cough.

'DAMMIT! I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP BAKA FOX!' Naruto cheered as Teuchi put some Ramen in front of him and Gaara. Naruto dug in immediately, while Gaara poked it with his chopsticks. He took some of it to his mouth and put it in. He stopped moving before he inhaled what was in his mouth.

"Fmmd, fisn't fit?" Naruto said around a mouthful. Gaara nodded while shoveling it into his mouth. Shinzui groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. Now he had two ramen addicts living under his roof and sucking his wallet dry. Oh well… It could be worse… He choked as Kyuubi sent an X-rated image into his head involving Ayame and himself.

'GOD FUCKING DAMMIT TO FUCKING HELL YOU FOX!'

Yes, Kyuubi's a pervert. And a shameless one at that.

Glossary-

Hand seals – Here are the hand seals he used during this chapter: Inu—Dog: Nezumi—Rat: Hebi—Serpent: Saru—Monkey: Uma—Horse: Ryu—Dragon: Tori—Bird: Tora—Tiger: Oushi—Ox: Oohitsuji—Ram: Ousuubuta—Boar

Kuuenbu no Jutsu (Sky Waltz Technique) – It makes the chakra in your feet treat the air you're in like the ground. However, this takes an insane amount of chakra to pull off, so it is best saved for emergencies.

Hadangeki (Severing Wave) – A kenjutsu (sword technique), it takes the chakra you put into the sword while you swing it and makes a blade that strikes the target you slashed at.

Hyouretsuzan (Ice Stab) – A kenjutsu, Ice type. Forms a giant icicle around the sword, then lets gravity do the work. The more chakra channeled into the sword, the bigger the icicle.

Ai no Keppan (Love Blood Seal) – Pretty straightforward, it modified Gaara's seal into one similar to Naruto/Shinzui's. The spirit of his mother acts as a binding agent and strengthens the seal so he can actually sleep.

Dragon Man 180 – I haven't thought about stuff like that… she probably can.

animewatcher – Thanks for the constructive criticism!

kawaiineziumi – I'm glad it was as big a shock as it was supposed to be.

Metanaito-san – (1)Thanks! (2)Yeah, he is… (3)Yikes! oO (4)Thankies!

dragonofflame – Sorry it took so long! DON'THURTME!

Ame Suisei – I try, okay? ¬¬

Night-Owl123, sephynarutocloud, chaosknight – Thanks!

Well, not much to say. I appreciate all those who review very much, I'd like it if everyone reviewed who read my stories or watched me… coughHINTcough