Title: Day in the Life 2- Sanji's Yaoi Special
Author: Celeste
Fandom: One Piece
Word Count: 1,650 (holy horny seamen, batman!!)
Rating: PG-13 (yaoi this time. Ha!)
Summary: Sanji's day in the life continues... but with a yaoi twist!
Time: 32 mins (too lazy to edit)
Dedication: Everyone at onepieceyaoi. They asked for it. I can only deliver the lameness. Watch out for intense OOCness. --;;
Disclaimer: So not mine.

Sanji thought things would change a little after last week. Because the events that had occurred last week seemed to scream for change, to demand it in some sort of five-year old spoiled brat temper tantrum in the middle of the market type way.

Needless to say, he'd been through a hell of a lot since last week. A lot of things that normally wouldn't coincide with a regular day had coincided to make for a damn irregular day. In fact, the act of Zoro kissing him pretty much translated into more than just any old irregular day when he thought about it. That had made it a downright abnormal am-I-having-a-dream-or-a-nightmare type day. So it was only natural at one point to believe that as a result of those life changing events, his life would have changed.

No such luck.

Promptly at 5-something in the morning, he was awakened by a pawing hand that may or may not have inadvertently shoved his face hard against his pillow. He sputtered, struggled, and eventually worked his body into the proper angle needed to kick Zoro in the head.

"Ow! It was an accident, asshole."

"Bastard."

Sitting up, Sanji did his best to fix his mussed hair while the two of them prepared for the day, he sticking in his customary first thing in the pre-morning hours cigarette while the green-haired muscle-monster dug around for his weights.

Once again, he was up and about before the sun.

Zoro began his workout, shirtless and exuberant in the chill morning air. Sanji put the rice on for breakfast. And it was still 5:45.

7am and he was checking the oven and the progress of his cinnamon rolls when the Neanderthal stumbled in, drenched in sweat and grinning ear to ear from the morning's work out. Sanji tossed him a cookie and told him to get the hell out.

Zoro pinched his butt on his way out the door, munching on his cookie.

Sanji swung around and kicked him the rest of the way out the door, making him choke on the cookie.

7:13 and he once again, was forced to repel Luffy's advances on the kitchen. Twice. All he needed was ten more minutes for crying out loud. He tossed a cookie over his captain's shoulder and watched him chase after it like a dog for a Frisbee.

Five minutes later and the orange blossoms were in the vase on the table. He called Nami and Vivi in for lunch. They twittered at him. He blushed a little bit but got no action.

Until Zoro strutted in and smugly pecked him on the cheek as he sat down.

Not the kind of action he'd been looking for.

The girls twittered some more. Zoro had no shame. Sanji slipped extra hot peppers into the big shameless idiot's portions and hoped the fire would wipe the smirk off the brute's face.

Bastard.

Three seconds later Usopp came in. Luffy was chewing on his arm.

As they entered the galley, Luffy withdrew from his human chew toy and launched himself at the table.

Sanji caught him by the red of his shirt and held him back until his body returned to its regular proportions.

Eating commenced.

10:30 and Zoro had downed his fifth pitcher of water, cursing the chef's existence the entire time. Sanji washed the dishes and Luffy whined about being hungry.

He gave him a handful of cookies and bounced him out the door.

11:10 and Zoro was on his 17th pitcher of water. He had no stomach for spicy food. Sanji began preparing lunch.

11:15 and Zoro was cranky and still drinking water. Sanji felt bad for him and mixed a special drink that would stop the burn. Zoro drank it, felt better, and tugged on Sanji's apron strings.

He kicked the idiot in the head.

11:21 and Usopp screamed.

Sanji removed his apron and Zoro followed, rubbing his head.

He got 32 of the attacking pirates.

Zoro stopped in the middle of the fight because he really had to pee.

But not before he took out 33 of the attacking pirates.

Bastard.

11:42 saw the continuation of lunch preparations. Zoro continued to pee.

1:30 and they all had a late picnic lunch on deck. That smug bastard, all peed out, finished eating before Luffy could get to his food and plopped his head down on Sanji's lap.

The girls twittered about how jealous they were.

Sanji shoved Zoro's head off and promptly offered its place to them.

Got no action.

Until Zoro reclaimed his place on the blonde's lap and promptly fell asleep. Sanji suspected the idiot only went all out with the PDA in front of the girls to annoy him.

Vivi smiled and began clearing dishes. She volunteered to do them.

Sanji protested.

Nami insisted.

The matter was decided when Zoro's freight-train snore interrupted Sanji's response.

The girls flounced off with dishes in hand, still twittering. Sanji suspected that they liked him a lot more now that he kissed boys.

At 2:10, just as Sanji's legs were beginning to lose feeling, something barreled by the ship, clipping some of the railing from the deck.

Zoro cracked an eye open. Sanji shoved his head off.

2:13 and Sanji had taken out 42 marines.

Zoro too.

Until the green-haired stupid-machine came flying over his shoulder and took out the marine poised to run the chef through.

43.

The swordsman grinned victory and licked Sanji's neck before strolling off for his post-fight afternoon nap.

…Bastard.

Sanji headed back to the galley as Usopp and Carue shoved any remaining bodies overboard. The girls were finishing the cleaning.

They twittered at him as he walked in. Apparently his face was red.

He informed them about the marines and the fight.

They gave him strange looks and twittered some more before heading back outside.

At 3:00 he made the crew refreshing drinks. The girls took theirs and innocently asked who the extras were for.

He said they were welcome to more than one and smiled charmingly. Nami patted him on the head and told him she was sure Zoro would love something in this afternoon heat.

Sanji was almost certain they liked him more now that he kissed boys.

No action though.

Damn.

He headed over to where Zoro and Luffy were napping and nudged the big idiot with the toe of his shoe. "Oi…"

Zoro cracked an eye. "Yeah?"

"Drinks."

The bastard smiled that smug smile again. "Thanks." He sat up and took the drink.

Sanji set his tray down and watched Usopp and Carue for a while.

Luffy was still unconscious.

4:02 and Usopp and Carue finished the daily body dump.

Sanji called out to them about drinks and moved to go prepare dinner.

Zoro yanked him down on top of him and Sanji made a startled noise that set the girls off giggling again.

"Oi…Leggo you asshole. I'm gonna go start dinner."

"Just for a while."

Usopp threatened to dump the remainder of his cold, refreshing drink on the two of them if they kept up the show.

Sanji kicked him in the head.

Zoro made a snide comment that the show was too good for Usopp to see anyway.

Sanji kicked him in the head and struggled out of the idiot's hold.

He started dinner late, at 4:16.

5:52 and dinner was almost ready. Luffy woke up once the aromas hit him, and did a zombie-sprint towards the galley, drooling and arms outstretched, chanting "Fooooood!!". Zoro grabbed the captain around the ankles before he could make it through the doors and was repelled back into him. He didn't want to be sent overboard.

Sanji rewarded them both with cookies.

Heh. Idiots.

6:08 and the girls had their specially prepared love dinner. They smiled at him a lot more, but he still wasn't getting any action.

Damn.

At 6:20, Luffy had inhaled any remaining food on anyone's plates. Whined about the fact that he was starving. Sanji was running dangerously low on cookies, but gave him one anyway. Planned to make more tomorrow.

Zoro, the bastard, asked where his cookie was.

Sanji told him to go drown himself.

Zoro stole a kiss and darted out of the galley laughing.

7:21 and Usopp was doing dishes again.

Sanji headed outside for a post-dinner smoke and to kick Zoro in the head for the kiss he stole.

Zoro stole another one anyway.

...Bastard.

9:00 and it was Sanji's watch.

11:58 and the customary night attack commenced once again.

12:17 and the customary night attack ended.

Sanji kicked bodies overboard and smoked a couple more cigarettes.

He'd gotten 49 pirates.

Zoro hadn't gotten any.

Ha. Bastard.

But he'd still stolen those kisses.

…Bastard.

12: 28 and he was 28 minutes late waking Usopp for his watch.

As the sharpshooter got out of bed and headed topside, Sanji warned him that the bloodstains on deck would have to be washed out before they soaked in permanently.

Sanji collapsed into his hammock at 12:31. An arm was wrapped around him and he squirmed until he was comfortable in its hold, head tucked under the green-haired muscle-monster's chin.

As he lay there in the dark, Sanji closed his eyes and tried to relax, thinking to himself that it was probably too much to expect his life to be that much different this week after the last. After all, not that much had changed really. He still got up, he fed the crew, they fought, they ate, they napped, he fed them again. Zoro was constantly an idiot bastard.

So all in all, Zoro's kissing him last week really hadn't changed a thing.

At 12:32, the idiot bastard green-haired muscle-monster began snoring. Right in Sanji's ear.

Sanji kicked him in the head. Zoro murmured something barely intelligible in his sleep and pulled the chef closer before resuming his snoring.

Sanji sighed.

…Bastard.

END