The Ultimate Prank,
by Lizmun

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The biggest prank I ever did was when I first took the Kyuubi kid out for a bowl of ramen. It was such a great prank that even I, in the end, was the one that ended up being played on.

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"I dare ya!"

"No way, Anko! Like Hell will I ever do that!!"

Mitarashi Anko, in all her seventeen years of glory, glared down at the scarred-nose teen pouting before her. The boy had his arms crossed defiantly and his head had turned away to give the appearance of disinterest. However, Anko wasn't fooled by the other's little act. She saw that spark of challenge flare at the boy's brown eyes when she mentioned the word "dare"; it was his weakness and his strength wrapped in that four letter word. It was that very word that pushed this boy to make a name for himself, to prove he wasn't one to be overlooked, pitied or pushed around.

It was that word that gave Umino Iruka the meaning to live.

"What is the big deal? It's not like anyone would care what happens to... him! In fact, many of us agree that kid needs to learn his place! Did you know that he was the one who placed those cherry bombs in poor Hanako-sensei's class last week?"

Iruka couldn't help but give the slightest of smirks here. Of course he knew that the boy was responsible for that prank, and frankly he was kind of glad for it. Hanako-sensei was the academy's strictest, crudest, foul-mouthed and worst behaved kunoichi instructor... that is, if you happened to be male. In fact, some students believed she was only teaching because she had a "thing" for girls only. And boy did it show, especially when 90 of her classes were female-only, and to those students Hanako-sensei was the "best teacher they could ever want". Stupid girls, what did they know? Hanako was always so kind to them, so tolerant and so caring that it made a guy nauseous yet jealous at the same time, and it didn't help either that she was also considered one of the loveliest kunoichi in Konoha. Still, Hanako-sensei hardly gave a flying rat's ass to any the boys of the school, and even went as far sometimes to publicly humiliate any of them in front of her class. He should know, he had been on the receiving end of one of her "lectures of humiliation" several times.

However, as much as he hated the Kyuubi-kid, he couldn't help but give him props on behalf of the male population for taking down that witch a few notches.

Still, despite that grudging notch of respect for the demon, Iruka couldn't believe of the task that was set out by the girl before him. Sure they've been best buds since before they graduated the academy together. There was not one prank he himself did that hadn't involved Anko as a co-conspirator or accomplice. Still, despite their close history, this particular task was just too much, even for her sadistic tendencies.

"Don't care, Anko! I can't believe you, of all people, would make me do this. You know how much I hate him. I want nothing to do with that bastard, yet you want me to pretend to be his friend? Give me one good reason why I should listen to you?"

Suddenly a chill ran down the boy's spine as he observed his friend's lips curl into that sadistic grin she was known for... that sadistic grin that equaled that of the most feared missing nins of Konoha, that one of her previous sensei, Orochimaru of the three-nin.

"Because... if you don't do what I say, Hell will be paradise compared to what I'll do to you."

Yep... Orochimaru would be so proud of his student if he saw her now. Allowing his shoulders to slump down in defeat, Iruka turned to cocky girl before him and pouted.

"... bitch..." Anko simply turned her previous grin into the cutest smile she could muster and leaned down to give the boy a slight peck on the scarred nose he was famous for, yet her eyes till danced with sadistic merriment.

"Love you too, Iruka."

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Arrgh!! I don't know if I should continue this! I'm already withering in agony here of how mean Iruka-sensei is portrayed! Anyone who knows me knows that I'm an avid obsessor of Iruka. To make him the "villain"... well... let's just say I'm having mixed feelings about it, so I'll get back to you on it later. :D

I finished an article report and, while still in "Write as much BS as you can to fill up 3 pages" mode, my Muse popped up with this idea of "the ultimate prank!" I just had to write it down before I burst.

I'm sooo reminded of "Cruel Intentions" and countless other Teen movies here.