A/N: So yes, here I am, corrupting more classic British literature. I bet Shakespeare is rolling in his grave right now. Then again, maybe not. There're a lot of rumor about Shakespeare and homosexuality. So maybe he wouldn't mind too much. Cept for the alternate universe…yeah…roller skates. Yes, this IS alternate universe, therefore it's set in modern times and Hamlet's father isn't the king, he's the president. I got this idea yesterday afternoon when my friend Jess and I were working on our Hamlet project for class. We were looking through a magazine for pics of people who could be Ophelia, Hamlet and Horatio, and we found some roller skaters. Jess said Horatio should be on roller skates and the idea for his ficlet immediately popped into my head.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing of Shakespeare's, most importantly not Hamlet or either character, Hamlet or Horatio.
CLAIMER: I do in fact own their roller skates. That is all.
DEDICATION: To Jess, for pointing out the roller skaters. Without you I probably wouldn't have come up with this idea!
And PhoenixFireBlack, for reading it and liking it even though you aren't that familiar with Hamlet! You rule all! Woot! Mayors of Dorkville forever!
FICLET!
"You ready?"
"Ummmmmm……not…as such."
A sigh. "Come on."
"Hamlet, I really really don't want to do this."
"Stop being such a pansy."
"I AM NOT BEING A PANSY!"
"Horatio, let go of the damn wall."
Horatio clung to the cement wall with every ounce of strength he had, holding on for dear life. "Hamlet, I really can't do this."
"Horatio, its ROLLER SKATING! It's not that hard!" Hamlet sighed.
Horatio obviously thought differently. He legs were wobbly beneath him, the roller skates itching to move even as Horatio clung to the wall, determined to stay right where he was. "I can't believe you talked me into this, Hamlet."
"Pffft, I knew I could."
"How did you know you could talk me into participating in this completely asinine activity?"
"Because you do whatever I want you to…all the time."
"Well…" Horatio flushed scarlet and hoped desperately that Hamlet wouldn't notice. "…your dad IS the President…don't want the President getting mad at me for not listening to his son. It's my job to keep you happy."
"…really."
"….I don't think I much like the way you said that, Hamlet."
"I think I have a few things you could to do make me happy, Horatio."
Horatio blushed even more. "Hamlet!"
"Whaaat?"
"You're such a PERVERT!"
"You DARE to call the president's son a pervert?!"
"Yeah…I do!"
"Then you owe me….get off the damn wall."
"Hamlet," Horatio whined. "I can't do it! I'm gonna fall on my ass!"
"And I'll pick you up and you can try again."
….Horatio rather thought he liked that idea. "……………okay," he said slowly. Tentatively, he released the wall as slowly as possible, and…….nothing happened.
Hamlet sighed. "Horatio, if you don't push off then nothing's going to happen."
"Good. I like that idea," Horatio replied, standing as still as was physically possible with roller skates on. Hamlet growled.
"Horatio, will you just push off a bit and give it a fucking try?!"
"…I don't think so, no."
"I ORDER you to!"
"Oh, do you now? And why do you think I'll obey your order?"
"Cause you always do."
"Oh yeah." Horatio paused a moment, thinking. "Well, I've decided that I'm not obeying this one. Not when it becomes a matter of life or death like it is now."
"HORATIO! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DIE IN A ROLLER SKATING ACCIDENT!"
"How do YOU know?"
"BECAUSE NO ONE DIES IN ROLLER SKATING ACCIDENTS!"
"Ohhh yes they DO!" Hamlet reached into his back pocket (simultaneously reaching behind him and placing a steadying hand on the wall again) and pulled out a neatly folded piece of paper. It took him a while to unfold it with only one hand (he staunchly refused to take his other hand off the wall), but he finally got it open and began to read aloud. "Couldn't Stop at Bottom of Hill….Nine Year Old Skated Into An Intersection…Ten Year Old Slams Into a Truck…David Jacobson Killed by a Truck…Florida Girl Fell in Front of…"
"Whoa whoa whoa WHOA! What is that?!" Hamlet wrenched the paper out of Horatio's hands and skimmed it briefly. Slowly, he raised disbelieving eyes to start at a rather defensive Horatio. "…you actually looked up…AND printed off…a list of people who died in roller skating accidents?"
"………yes…"
Hamlet sighed, shaking his head. "GOD you're a dork."
"I am NOT!"
"Are too…now LET GO OF THE WALL!"
"NO!"
"Horatio-" And Hamlet reached over and wrenched Horatio's hands off of the wall.
"NOOO! Hamlet! STOP!" Horatio desperately struggled to get free, but that only resulted in his legs wobbling beneath him so, terrified that he'd fall over, he stopped struggling.
"NO! You are learning how to roller skate if it's the last thing that I do!" Hamlet continued dragging Horatio away from the wall.
"Hamlet! PLEASE!" Horatio tugged, throwing all his weight backwards so that his ass was sticking straight out and blocking off the sidewalk. The passing crowd was beginning to take notice.
"Horatio! This would be so easy if you would just GO WITH IT!"
"I don't want to 'go with it,' Hamlet! I want to get these damn things off my feet and get back on normal, solid ground!"
"Horatio, you're ON normal solid ground!"
"WITH WHEELS ON MY FEET! THERE'S A DIFFERENCE!"
"Grrrrrrrr, Horatio-"
"NO!"
"Will you just-"
"NO!"
"Come-"
"I don't-"
"The FUCK-"
"WANT TO-"
"ON!"
"DO THIS!" Horatio pulled back as hard as he could, causing Hamlet to lose his balance and slide forward. In response, Hamlet (who was obviously the better skater) regained his balance by tugging backwards. Horatio's legs skidded all over the place before he lost his balance completely and, with a cry of sheer terror, fell into Hamlet. "AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!" Eyes wide, Hamlet tried to steady Horatio but to no avail; the two collapsed backwards onto the ground, Hamlet landing on his back and Horatio landing on top of Hamlet. Hamlet took the brunt of the landing and his eyes shut in pain. Horatio lay there on top of Hamlet, eyes wide in shock and terror. "…….Hamlet?" There was no response. A tiny note of fear crept into Horatio's voice. "Hamlet?" Still no response. "Hamlet?! Are you dead?!" At that, a tiny snicker escaped. Horatio punched Hamlet's shoulder as hard as he could.
"OW!"
"YOU DESERVED IT! Scaring me like that!"
Hamlet laughed. "I told you Horatio: no one dies in skating accidents!"
Horatio reached back and pulled out the piece of paper again. "Sixteen Year Old Gets Killed In Skating Accident….Five Year Old…"
"Okay, okay, I get the picture!" Hamlet pulled the paper away and tossed it aside. Horatio's jaw dropped.
"HEY! I spent a lot of time finding all those articles!"
"Too bad." Hamlet wriggled a bit beneath Horatio. "My ass hurts."
"Too bad. That's your fault."
"MY fault?! You fell on ME!"
"And that would never have happened if you hadn't of dragged me out here in the first place!""Dude, we're not even getting into that again."
"Well then don't blame me!"
"I'll blame you all I want when it's YOUR FAULT!"
"OOOOOH you're so ANNOYING!"
"Yeah? Yeah? What do you have to say, Horatio? Come on, really let me have it!"
"SOMETIMES I JUST HATE HATE HATE-"
Whatever it was Horatio hated, he never got to say. Reaching out, Hamlet caught a handful of Horatio's blonde hair and tugged hard, pulling Horatio forward and kissing him. Horatio froze, eyes wide and shocked. Of all the things he had expected out of this roller skating experience, having Hamlet kiss him had really never been one of them. Falling down, yes, having Hamlet make fun of him, yes, fighting with Hamlet over the whole thing, definitely yes….having Hamlet kiss him? No. Definitely not. Not that he minded, of course… With that thought came the dawning realization that since Hamlet was, in fact, kissing him, and he had, in fact, been wanting this for about five years now, he should probably respond somehow. His hands had been clenched into tight fists as he had prepared to punch Hamlet again; now they relaxed, shaking fingers pressing to Hamlet's cheeks, eyes sliding shut as he pressed more into the kiss, trembling as he kissed Hamlet back with everything he had.
There was a slight hitch as Hamlet froze, and Horatio wondered if he had done something wrong. Then Hamlet's fingers were tangling in his hair and he was pressing up against Horatio, tongue tracing lightly over Horatio's lower lip, pleading for attention, and Horatio responded as expected, lips parting to give Hamlet what he wanted. He expected some heavy tongue action and instead got Hamlet sucking harshly on his lower lip and GOD he couldn't help it anymore, he moaned aloud and Hamlet laughed softly, pulling away.
"God…you don't know how long I've wanted you to do that," Horatio mumbled, embarrassed, forehead resting against Hamlet's shoulder as he buried his face in Hamlet's long brown hair.
"Really?"
Horatio nodded, forehead still on Hamlet's shoulder. Rough fingers traced idly across Horatio's cheek and the blonde let out a breathless sort of sigh, breath warm against Hamlet's skin.
"You should have said something."
"Well, it's not exactly a subject one brings up easily, is it? 'Hi Hamlet, I know we're best friends but I desperately want to fuck you."
"You do?"
Horatio froze and immediately began silently berating himself, eyes squinched tightly shit. Stupid stupid stupid stupid…
"HORATIO! You are NOT stupid!"
"Oh God…I just said that out loud?"
"Yes."
"Oh God." Horatio felt his skin burning and knew he must be tomato red.
"Hey," Hamlet nudged him. "Look at me."
"No."
"Horatio, look at me!"
"I dun wanna." Horatio mumbled his words into Hamlet's neck.
"Horatio…" Hamlet grabbed Horatio's face, forcing the blonde to look him in the eye. "First of all, you're NOT stupid, you're the smartest person I know. Secondly, I meant that you should have told me because then this could all have happened a long time ago and we wouldn't have had to deal with all the stupid word fumbling and awkward silences and all this shit that's been going on for months!"
Horatio stared. "You…you mean…"
"Horatio, I would have kissed you YEARS ago had I ever thought you felt the same way."
A small, surprised smile spread across Horatio's face. He ducked his head and kissed Hamlet quickly. Pulling back, he grinned broadly at Hamlet, who laughed.
"You're such a dork."
"As long as I'm YOUR dork."
Hamlet laughed. "You'll always be my dork," he said. "And you better never ever consider being anyone else's dork, cause I don't think I'd be able to cope."
"Pffft, it'll never happen." Horatio paused. "…Hamlet?"
"Mmm?"
"…I love you."
Hamlet stared up at Horatio, surprise etched in every inch of his face. Horatio stared back nervously, holding his breath. "I love you," he repeated.
A smile slowly curved along Hamlet's lips. He kissed Horatio quickly. "I love you too," he said, smile widening every second. Horatio rolled off him and both sat up, wincing and rubbing aching bones. "I love every single thing about you, you silly crazy dork…even if you can't roller skate."
"Well…I was thinking about that," Horatio said slowly, thoughtful look on his face.
"Oh yeah?"
"I was thinking…maybe we can give this roller skating thing…another try."
"What?! Really?!" Hamlet was shocked.
"Yeah."
"But…but I thought…I thought that kids and teenagers galore had died and you didn't wanna do it!"
"Well… I didn't…but…maybe…just maybe…I've changed my mind."
Surprise still in his eyes, Hamlet smiled. "Okay…what changed your mind?"
"…the fact that now I know you'll be holding my hand the whole time."
Hamlet laughed. "Forget holding your hand! My arm is permanently going to be around your waist from this moment on!"
"…even when we're not skating?" Horatio asked hopefully. Hamlet laughed.
"Even when we're not skating."
"Okay!"
Hamlet rose to his feet, Horatio watching him. Hamlet glanced down and Horatio smiled sweetly up at him. "…help me up?"
"Pfft, of course!" With only a bit of difficulty, Hamlet got Horatio on his feet. Wrapping a protective arm about the blonde's waist, he pulled Horatio close. "Okay…now…just…I'm gonna kind of guide us along…so just lean into me…"
"Gladly."
"…and…" Hamlet broke off, giggling. "Dork."
"Your dork," Horatio corrected. Hamlet shook his head and sighed, but he couldn't suppress the grin on his face.
"My dork." He kissed Horatio again. It was only supposed to be a tiny kiss, but Horatio leaned into Hamlet and tangled his fingers in the front of Hamlet's shirt, and before he knew what he was doing, Hamlet had both arms around Horatio and was kissing forcefully back. Maybe a bit too forcefully. Their legs shook on the skates and shot out from underneath them, and both boys ended up flat on their backsides on the pavement, both wincing in pain.
"OW."
"Yeah, maybe kissing on roller skates isn't such a good plan," Hamlet agreed, wincing. He crawled onto his knees and somehow managed to stand again and, bending over, reached out for Horatio. "Wanna try this one again?"
"Sure thing."
Hamlet unceremoniously hauled Horatio to his feet but didn't let go of his hands. "Come on," he said. "I'll just pull you for a bit. Maybe that'll be easier at first."
"Okay," Horatio said, unsure. Hamlet smiled.
"Come on." And Hamlet began skating backwards, tugging Horatio with him. "See? It's easy."
"Yeah….it really kinda…is." And it was. Not having to do anything but hold Hamlet's hands as the brunette dragged Horatio around…that sounded like a good time to Horatio. They continued this way for a while, Hamlet dragging Horatio, until Horatio got used to it and began to propel himself forwards a bit.
"Yeah, that's it! You're doing really good!" Hamlet smiled and Horatio flushed, basking in Hamlet's praise. "I'm going to let go of your hands now, okay?"
"No it most certainly is NOT okay!"
Hamlet laughed. "Well, here goes!"
"Hamlet, no!" Horatio found himself suddenly empty handed as Hamlet skated backwards and out of reach, laughing and turning his back on Horatio. "HAMLET!" Horatio half skated half stumbled forwards, falling into Hamlet, arms wrapping about the brunette's waist as he clung tightly to his…friend? Boyfriend? He wasn't sure.
Hamlet looked over his shoulder, surprised, and then grinned as he saw Horatio, face pressed into Hamlet's back, clinging to Hamlet for dear life. Hamlet chuckled. "Dork."
"I know," came Horatio's voice, muffled against Hamlet's shirt. "But I did it. I skated by myself."
"Yes…you did. I'm proud of you."
Blue eyes flickered up hopefully in Hamlet's direction. "…really?"
"Most definitely."
Smiling, Horatio slowly released his death grip on Hamlet's waist and moved forward to skate beside Hamlet, leaning over to press a kiss to Hamlet's cheek, simultaneously fumbling for Hamlet's hand, entwining their fingers together. "I think I'm getting the hang of this," he said.
"You definitely are. Oh, look!" Hamlet froze, grabbing Horatio and pulling him to a halt. "Over there! Look at the sunset!"
Horatio obediently looked in the direction Hamlet was pointing and stared in wonder at the brilliant orange and red sky, streaked with shades of radiant yellow. "Oh wow." A moment later, he turned and kissed Hamlet, fingers running through long brown hair. "You know," he whispered, lips brushing against Hamlet's, "I think I'm really starting to like this roller skating thing."
Hamlet laughed, leaning into Horatio, breath warm as he whispered softly against Horatio's lips before kissing him again. "Toldja so."
And holding Hamlet close, exchanging soft kisses beneath the brilliant sun painted sky, Horatio knew that Hamlet was right, no matter what the statistics said. Roller skating had nothing to do with death. It was more about surprises. And first kisses. And new beginning.
…yeah, that was it. New beginnings.
fin