Quantum Scrambled Eggs
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Chapter 12
"What's with the big deal? It's just a statue." Rembrandt asked looking up at the bronze figure that adorned the park.
"It's the wrong person…" Quinn began.
"So they changed the statue, right?" Rembrandt asked
"No, see, it's too old… it's been weathered." Quinn countered pointing out the slight wear.
"They could have just moved it, you know." Rembrandt countered.
"In the hour we were gone? I don't think so."
"Maybe you weren't paying attention when they replaced Lincoln with Lenin." Rembrandt countered.
"And where in our US are you going to find a statue like this and so old?" The professor broke in, putting a stop to the difference of opinions before the two attracted unwanted attention. "Now, I suggest that we find miss Wells and wait for the retrieval routine to kick in."
"I'm afraid that's not possible." Quinn said pulling out the timer and looking at it, "The presets were burnt-out when I activated the timer prematurely… that's why it didn't return us to my house."
"What?" The professor gasped and staggered back a step, "My God! It could have sent us underground or inside some other solid object."
"Nah, I integrated a densitometer into it's functionality, so it won't do that." Quinn replied, "And before you ask, it's got a laser-gyro that keeps it within a two-mile radius."
The professor breathed sigh of relief, "I'm glad you took the time to think ahead when you were building that."
"Yeah," Quinn nodded, "Me too."
"Guys," Wade said running up to the professor and Quinn, "We have a problem. We're not home."
"Yeah, we know that." Quinn replied nodding toward the statue, "Look."
"Stalin?" Wade gasped, taking a step back. After a moment of pointing to the statue she said, "That explains it." She said in epiphany.
"Explains what?" Quinn asked, a puzzled look on his face.
"A live operator," Wade started to explain but was cut off by Quinn.
"We have live operators at home." Quinn objected obstinately.
"Yes, but this one was friendly!" Wade protested.
"Really?" Quinn asked as he gave Wade an odd, disbelieving look.
"Yes, really!" Wade said, obviously annoyed and irritated.
"Maybe the job for operator was outsourced…" Quinn mumbled softly to himself.
"Just drop it! She was nice… that's what matters here." Wade jumped in the middle of Quinn's musing.
Wade looked positively furious, and it was at no small risk to himself, given his pervious experiences with the females of his species, that Rembrandt broke in and said. "That all doesn't matter right now, what does is the question 'what do we do now?'."
"Mr. Rembrandt is right," The professor said with a nod, "We need to figure out what's wrong with Mr. Mallory's timing device, repair it, and return to our proper world. Now, it seems that we've stumbled onto a bit of luck…"
"Luck?" Quinn interrupted with a snort, "I don't see how any of this could be considered luck."
"It's quite simple Mr. Mallory," The professor explained, "we're stuck in a communist America, and that means that resources are distributed to the populace by the government as needed… or so the theory goes; we can assume that by the fanaticism, and the anti-American-capitalist rhetoric from the candidate's speech," Professor Arturo jerked a thumb toward the political rally before continuing, "that communism must be fairly new to the States, and as such we can expect that the 'social excitement', if you will, will allow us access to the equipment we need at little to no cost to ourselves."
Wade nodded, waiting for the professor to continue, and Quinn said "Yeah…" as he mulled it over, while Rembrandt simply spoke what he was thinking, "Why don't we get a hotel room and see about repairing that timer?"
"An excellent idea Mr. Brown!" The professor said loudly, before leaning over to Rembrandt and whispering, "Now if only Mr. Mallory would pay half as much attention to things as you do."
Rembrandt puzzled over that as they walked to the hotel, a place called "The Chandler" or something like that. Signing in was a breeze, all the professor had to do was say he was the Regent's Professor of Cosmology and Ontology at California State University, which got as impressive service as the title sounded.
So, after a little time spent getting comfortable the Professor and Quinn started work on the timer, Quinn assessing the damage incurred by the early activation and the Professor working through what was either a very large equation or a series of equations that were in Quinn's notebook.
Rembrandt didn't understand anything that the two were doing so he jumped at the chance to leave when Wade announced that she was going to the store and tagged along with her.
"Does anyone want me to pick up anything while I'm out?" Wade asked.
"Yes, " The professor spoke up, "Some pens and a lot of paper or maybe a dry-erase marker…" The professor eyed the large sliding glass door that led out to the balcony and continued, "That would be better actually."
• • • • • • • • • • •
"Hey, thanks… those two were in another world." Rembrandt dais to Wade as he closed the door behind them.
"Hey, it's no problem, I needed to get out for a bit myself." Wade giggled, "I've been Quinn's friend for years and it still bugs me a little, so I can imagine how you feel."
"Yeah." Rembrandt nodded, "So, any ideas in particular where to go?"
"Well, let's get the professor his pen, paper and markers first." Wade looked at him and smiled a wide, and somewhat predatory smile, at him. "And then we cold take a look around and go shopping!"
Rembrandt wondered for a moment wether he'd made the right choice and the phrase 'from the frying-pan into the fire' popped into his head. It could be a leftover feeling from shopping with Lina, but what if womenfolk were naturally like that? Rembrandt suppressed a shudder at the thought of half the race being like Lina in any significant way.
Fortunately, Rembrandt found that shopping with miss Wells was an entirely different experience. For one she wasn't about to argue with the vendors for hours on end for the teeniest bit of 'savings'. (Or try bullying, swindling or otherwise tricking or intimidating them... as she had done in that dragon incident.) In fact, it was almost enjoyable… for the first thirty minutes, when he wasn't bored.
That was until a book caught Rembrandt's eye. It was nestled between a newspaper, Communist World Daily: The People's Paper, and a magazine, We Can Do It…WITH COMMUNISM, titled 'The New Social Paradigm'.
Rembrandt read it as he followed Wade around the store and soon found it to be a strange collection of philosophy, propaganda, and anecdotal stories that endorsed communism and rejected any form of capitalism.
Rembrandt grinned at a story from a guy in Texas that implied that the change from Capitalism to Communism had cured his warts and gout. Like any government or other social construct could be directly responsible for ails!
"'If only Texas hadn't been the last state to switch to Communism.'" Rembrandt chuckled under his breath.
"Where's the checkout?" Wade almost screamed in frustration.
It drew incredulous stares to her and even some whispering, but after a few moments another young woman came up to her and said "Um, there is no checkout… only a sign-out."
"Oh, thanks." Wade said a bit awkwardly.
"You're not from around here are you?" She asked Wade.
Wade began to try to explain that she was from this town, "No, um, we're from"
"Texas!" Rembrandt broke in. "You know, it's just so much different than we're used to."
"Ah, yes," The young woman nodded, then added with a bit of pity "It was the last state to switch."
"It's like a whole 'nother country." Rembrandt quoted, eliciting a laugh from the young lady.
"Well, I suppose I could show how things work here." She smiled at him, "Oh, my name's Sara."
"Uh, Rembrandt…" Rembrandt said, still feeling a bit uncomfortable using the new name.
So Sara showed them how to sign out items. It involved you showing your Social Security card or driver's license to the stores' custodian and signing a record of transaction.
"Thanks." Wade said to Rembrandt as they exited the store.
"For what?" Rembrandt asked, confused as to what Wade was talking about.
"You know, that slip back there." Wade clarified.
"Oh, that." Rembrandt shrugged, "It wasn't anything."
As soon as they returned the professor took the dry-erase markers and began copying the equations from Quinn's notebook and some other equations with an excitement that could be called schoolboyish.
While Quinn went out to get electronics components that he needed to repair the timer, after Wade told him how to 'signout' things.
• • • • • • • • • • •
"How's that equation coming along?" Quinn asked as he looked up from the coffee table he was using as a workbench, where a multitude of esoteric electronic components lay, awaiting integration into the high-tech device that was the timer.
"Not well," The professor admitted, shaking his head as he looked at the glass sliding doors, which were nearly covered in dry-erase ink. "How about the repairs?"
"Well, kinda mixed results…" Quinn said glancing down at his wristwatch, "It'll be able to work now, but the presets are definitely gone."
"Ah, well, it's better than nothing." Professor Arturo said trying to encourage his student as he spotted an error he'd made a few minutes ago and erased it with the palm of his hand. "How long do we have until the next window?"
Quinn flipped the half disassembled timer's face over, "Four hours and eighteen minutes. Hey, professor…"
"Yes?" Arturo looked up from what was either a very clever reworking of some previous terms or yet another error.
"Why don't you let me work on that for a while?" Quinn offered as he began to reassemble the timer. "You've been at that since 4 AM."
"Well… I am tired." Arturo nodded, "Alright, but I do feel I'm this close!" The professor held his hands two inches apart.
Quinn chuckled, "Don't worry, if I solve it you'll get top billing at all the lectures we'll do."
"Mr. Mallory, I wonder about you sometimes."
"You should professor, you should." There was a chuckle from the doorway, where Rembrandt held several paper bags, evidently just returning from a shopping trip. "Well, who wants sandwiches for lunch? It's a bit late, I know, but…"
"I'll have one." Quinn said and seemed to instantly be circling the food like some kind of bipedal shark… or maybe a vulture, it was hard to tell with the college student.
"Here." Rembrandt held out a sandwich and was relived when Quinn sat back at the coffee table and finished assembling the timer as he ate.
"So, Rembrandt…" Quinn said as he stuffed the timer into his shirt pocket and stood up, "What do you think of 'shopping' in this place?"
"It's different… everything's free, pretty much…" Rembrandt scratched his head as he trailed off.
Quinn nodded at Rembrandt, "Well, I doubt it'll last."
"Oh, why's that?" Rembrandt asked.
"Well, you know, if there's anything that history's taught us it's that no matter what system of government is in place there will always be corruption…" Quinn said as he continued to double-check the professor's work.
"Yeah…" Rembrandt trailed off, not wanting to revel his lack of knowledge about history. Playing the simpleton had worked as a means to gather information with Lina, but he didn't want a lack of information play down his intelligence. Well, that and if he ever ran across someone like Lina again it would be rather painful to continue the act.
With that thought, Rembrandt let the conversation drop and left the room, saying that he'd be in the lobby. He didn't even hear Quinn's response as he shut the door and made his way into the lobby deep in thought.
It was becoming apparent that the only thing he really knew was the art of swordsmanship, and he wasn't exactly the best either. He'd been told he was good, but he knew that there was more to learn about that particular art. That and swordsmanship was also obviously not something in high demand here, not like it was on Lina's 'world'.
Rembrandt chuckled a bit, at least he could explain it to himself as being another world, another life if you would… but still, it gnawed at him that he was pretty much useless here.
Rembrandt sighed to himself and pulled out a book at random from the hotel's lobby bookshelf and began to read it. It happened to be Plato's Republic, which he would have found odd to be in a hotel if he'd thought about it.
Rembrandt was so engrossed in the reading that he didn't notice that it was time to go until Quinn tapped him on the arm. "Hey, it's time to go."
"Oh?" Rembrandt said without looking up from his book, and replied in a tone that said most of attention was elsewhere, "I thought you said we had four hours…"
"I did…" Quinn replied, then added with his quirky grin, "four hours ago."
"Huh?" Rembrandt's head shot up at hearing that, he'd been so wrapped up in the book, about the nature of Justice, that he hadn't even noticed the time.
Rembrandt followed Quinn down into the alleyway out back where the professor and Wade were waiting for the time on the timer to reach zero, which was a good seven minutes away.
"Ah, good, I see you've found Mr. Brown." The professor said to Quinn with a grin, and then addressed Rembrandt, "We're just about ready to go; I'm glad you decided to join us."
"Well, you know professor…" Rembrandt laughed, it was a little embarrassing to have been almost left behind like that, then finished with a wink, "I wouldn't have anything to do here."
• • • • • • • • • • •
The four tumbled out of the wormhole onto the middle of a street, not the most comfortable of landings admittedly, and the four spent a few minutes picking themselves up from the pavement and inspecting themselves for injuries.
"What's that?" Rembrandt asked. Puzzled by a faint sound, something between a purr and a growl, and apparently moving.
"What's what?" Wade asked, obviously unable to hear it.
The professor nodded in agreement with Wade. "I can't hear anything."
"Well, it sounds like a…" Rembrandt was about to describe the sound when it became louder, loud enough that he didn't have to describe it.
"There's lots of them by the sound of it…" Quinn said, looking around as he tried to locate the sound, which was starting to echo oddly among the buildings.
Suddenly he didn't need to look for the sound as the motorcycle gang rounded the corner a block away. The four dimensional-excursionists scrambled to the sidewalk just in time to get out of the way of the oncoming bikers.
They watched as the gang sped past, it might have been normal for bikers to wave swords around over their horn-helmed heads… but one look at the gaping mouths of Wade and Quinn pretty-much dispelled that notion.
"I was definitely not expecting that." Quinn gestured in the direction that the Viking-bikers had disappeared.
"Yes, but look here…" The professor said as he pointed at the street sign, which held several angular characters.
"Runes?" Wade asked as she eyed the sign.
The professor nodded, "Well, there has been some debate as to if Norse people were the first Europeans to come to the New World."
"Well, it looks like there's no debate here." Quinn smirked, "I wonder how that's changed the rest of the world."
"Who knows?" Wade said shaking her head, "If it's true, then this is going to be very different than either home or communist-earth."
"Yeah... you're right." Quinn admitted, then turned to the Professor, "How long are we here for?"
"Thirteen days." The professor said, looking down at the timer. Then he muttered to himself, "I just hope we can survive it."
Rembrandt grinned at that, if there were swords here then he just might be able to.
Author's Notes:I don't have a lot to say except that I hoped you enjoyed this chapter, not to worry though, I've only one more chapter planned for this Arc. After I get that one written up I hope we'll start getting to the real fun. (But it's Ranma, how can it not be fun?)