Denial

By: The Celtic Raven

- - -

Disclaimer : : I do not own Teen Titans, nor any of the characters. I also do not own the song or lyrics to "Hello" by Evanescence. Do not sue me.

Author Note: : Just some random Cyborg/Raven angst. We all know how much I love it.

Dedicated to : : Sarah, because she makes me laugh everyday. Also dedicated to the few, the proud, the Raven/Cyborg fans on that keep the tradition alive, dutifully.

- - -

His eyes drifted open to a darkened room. Empty of any living but himself, Cyborg moved his head enough to look out the large bay windows to his left. By the setup of the room, he knew it was the infirmary. Nightfall had long passed, and the darkened, cloud dotted sky seemed to reflect a foggy mind.

He was stiff, whether it was machine or muscle that protested he wasn't sure, but slowly he sat up. When none ran into the room to protest, he assumed that either his friends had turned in or there was no danger in moving.

He hoped for the second and slowly moved to his sleep.

How had he gotten knocked out? He could remember the fight, albeit barely, but it was as if the world had suddenly gone black. What had happened?

Playground - school bell rings again

Faintly a ringing filled his eyes, though it was bidden by memory. The enemy had struck an elementary school in town. The children's cries he could remember, but something was eluding him.

Weary unto death, he sat on the edge of the bed. His eyes were clouded as the sky this dark, evil night. He knew he'd forgotten something. Forcing the memory, however, wouldn't do anything. Laying back, he sighed.

Wondering how his friends had fared, however, got him out of bed and moving. Perhaps they'd come out worse than he had. Impossible, though, someone had to of carried him back here.

Before he'd even reached the door, it opened and Robin entered. The boy wonder looked worse for the wear, though it was not physical damage that had taken it's toll.

Rain clouds come to play again

He tensed when he noticed Cyborg.

"Rob, what's wrong?" Cyborg began. Something troubled the teen. Had something happened? Damn his memory.

"Cyborg, I-"he started, shaking his head. Cyborg tensed, and shook slightly.

It was as if a movie played in his head as Robin finally spoke.

Has no one told you she's not breathing?

"Raven... she... she took a hard hit out there... She's dead, Cyborg."

The world spun around him and he fell sideways. Catching himself, partly, on a table, Cyborg denied the news with a low, growling voice.

Robin moved to try and help him up, but the half-machine wouldn't have that. He stood and shook the smaller man off.

"You're lying." he managed. "You're lying!" He shoved past Robin and exited the infirmary, barely able to walk let alone well.

Hello - I'm your mind

Giving you someone to talk to - Hello

He couldn't deny it, not for long. He knew what piece his mind had hidden from him. He could see the hit that his beloved Raven had taken.

Somewhere in his mind, he knew that she couldn't have survived it, either, but doggedly he kept denying it.

"She can't be dead. She can't be dead." he muttered, stumbling along the hallway.

He knew that if he could just find her room. If he could just walk in, there she would be. Sitting cross-legged in the air, meditating. They didn't know. They couldn't know.

She wasn't dead!

If I smile and don't believe

Soon I know I'll wake from this dream

He slowed, finally, as he approached her room. His heart ached, but his mind screamed in denial. She was not dead. She could not be dead.

Opening her door, he found the room empty. Without realizing it, a tear ran down his cheek, sprouting from his real eye.

"Rae..." he mumbled.

Don't try to fix me

I'm not broken

"Friend Cyborg..."

He flung himself on her bed, face buried in her pillows. Her scent was still here. It hadn't yet been long enough for them to fade.

Starfire crept into the room and laid a gentle, hesitant hand on his back.

"Friend Cyborg, are you well?"

"Leave me alone, Star." he growled, voice muffled by the black covered pillow. "I'm fine." he managed once he pulled his face away.

Nodding, she retreated from the room.

Hello - I'm the lie

Living for you so you can hide

He lay there a long time. Not a shred of him could believe that she was gone. Her room was arranged so much like she'd left it that it seemed that any moment she could walk in.

Like she was just gone for a little while, and would be back soon.

He stared at the door for a long time. He stared until Raven finally entered. A smile broke out on her face when she spotted him.

"I'm so sorry for keeping you waiting, Cyborg." she finally said, running towards him. He stood quickly and scrambled towards her.

He passed right through her and landed on the floor. An illusion, a trick his mind played on him.

How had be believed it?

How could Raven really be dead?

Pulling himself to his feet, he managed to stumble from the room.

Don't cry

The hallway was long, and dark. It matched his mood well. When finally he stood before a set of double doors, he knew. He knew what lay on the other side of this door. He knew that her body lay there, awaiting a proper burial.

Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping

His hand trembled on the door before her finally pushed it open. A white sheet draped over the table. How inappropriate, he thought. She would never wear white.

He pulled the sheet back. At least she was peaceful, some part of his mind thought. Pale as ever, it was not obvious what had snatched her life.

Hello - I'm still here

All that's left of yesterday

Letting the sheet fall to the floor, he closed his eyes. A promise floated away from him, one uttered from her lips, mere days before. One that could now, never be fulfilled.

Solitary, alone... he was all that remained.

-Fin