This is the first fiction I am submitting to please remember that this is a story about Mental illness, I am not an expert on all psychosis and may have errors due to this fact. I have tried to portray Kyo in character as he changes with his circumstances. Also, this is not a love story. Never will be. It is a story about a friendship developing is the most surprising place, but will not contain any romantic or sensual scenes. If you want those go to Adult FanFiction and see my stories there.
Anna
Disclaimer: I hold no rights to the characters in this fiction. I have not now, nor will I ever recieve financial remuneration for this work. I only write to support my own form of mental release needs. On with the story.
My Sweet Little Kitten
The sun was rising on another day, but there was no interest in sunrise anymore for one poor soul. Kyo rolled away from the window and pulled the covers over his head. The boy who used to rise early each day and greet the rising sun, do work/outs in the gardens and take a long jog, all before breakfast, no longer had any interest in the sun. He was trapped inside and the rising sun only served to remind him that he would never again run among the trees and workout amidst the flowers and plants of the gardens. He didn't want to be reminded of the place he used to do these things, and then to recall the people he used to eat his meal with when he finished these activities. He would never see them again either. He was trapped. They were still free. It wasn't bitterness at their freedom that made his soul ache and his insides curl up. It was the loss of the freedom and companionship those day entailed.
Graduation had been seven weeks ago. He had been brought here the following day, and here he had stayed. This one small room, with two small barred windows.
There was a guard at the door,(who had made it plain that he had no love loss for the cat) the one entrance, he was stationed beyond. The room had a bed, a dresser, and a desk and chair. He used the dresser to hold all he owned, a few clothes and some paper, pencils, brushes, paints and ink. The desk was to double as a table as his meals were brought here, one of them currently growing cold among the various pieces of paper strewn about the desk. He had no appetite, and this tray would be returned untouched as the last was. Lastly there was a curtained off area in one corner for him to attend to his bodily functions. But, today, he just layed on the bed, hiding under the blanket trying to sleep, but not to dream.
His dreams lately had been nightmares. He couldn't remember most, but he woke to each in a cold sweat and shaking, and then had to fight himself to return to the much needed sleep. He usually couldn't and would then rise to pace the small room, and count the steps from one side to the other, 7 steps long and 12 steps wide.
He had long since mapped it out, and now he refreshed this once or twice a night. On a good night he got as much as 5 hours sleep, before the cycle began again.
His only visitors were Akito and Kureno, and one visit a week ago from Hatori, to check on his health. Odd that the rooster would come with Akito to see him, as he had never seen the man before this. It wasn't that Akito needed him for protection, as the guard had always secured Kyo to the shackles built into the bed before anyone entered. Akito stayed only long enough to torture Kyo with words. Reminding him of his fate, and how he had failed to escape it. The rooster never spoke, only stood at the door and watched. Hatori was even more brusque in his visit, he did all the usual check up activities without uttering a single word. It wasn't that he had expected 'them' to visit. He knew they had things to do. They had lives to live and he had always been just an interuption in their days. He was just curious at how they were, and what they were doing, if anything new had happened to bring excitement into their world. These thoughts came unbidden and he would quelch them as foolish and rise to once again pace the room.
But, this morning he felt a desire to rise and cross to one of the two windows. He stood there and scanned the visible landscape. There was a small garden with a high fence. The bushes were plain and there were stands of stone in various locations, a gate was at one end and though it was supposed to be closed at all times, this morning it was open. All the way open and he could see the world beyond. Nothing much was going on, but the thrill of that much more freedom gave his heart a small lift. He closed his eyes and filled his lungs with the fresh air, leaning against the bars to get as close to the outside as he could. Then the reality hit him as it was want to do, and he sighed out the breath and opened his eyes to the realism of his prison. He gazed out the open gate and saw it as another harsh reminder that he was never to walk out of the gates of this hell, and the world beyond it was lost to him now.
Suddenly, activity sprang forth through that gate. A car drove past, and parked just beyond. He heard voices at a distance and realized it was Hatori. He had returned from somewhere, and that usually meant he had been to Shigure's house. Everyone else lived here, and he would not have needed his car for that. Had Shigure gotten sick or hurt, or Tohru perhaps. He was speculating on what terrible things could have happened that would call Hatori out so early this morning, when he realized that Hatori wasn't alone. He had gone somewhere to bring someone back with him. Shigure perhaps, or maybe it was just time for that rat, Yuki's monthly examinations. He squinted at the distance trying to see if anyone was walking up the walk beyond the gate, but alas, he couldn't. Well, why would he want to see Yuki, anyway? It was his fault he was here, wasn't it? If only he hadn't beaten him in every fight they had had.
No. He wouldn't do that anymore. He was too tired to keep trying to make this Yuki's fault. He was here because he was the cat. And the cat was always put away, before harm could be done to others. He dropped his hands from the bars and turned away from the receding voices. Crossing the room, he raised the cover on the food that had been brought. It looked completely unappealing. He replaced the cover and crossed to the bed, to drop into it and stare at the ceiling once again.
Closing his eyes brought the flood of memories, the days in the little house in the woods. He could almost smell the trees, and hear the insects and birds. He lay there stretched across the narrow bed imagining he was once again reclining on the roof, with the sun slowly setting in the distance and as he lay there, he could hear the sounds of the house settling beneath him, Yuki in his room doing his homework, Tohru doing the dishes, or the laundry, Shigure in the study typing away at the keyboard to his computor. It was a simple life but a good one, he realized that now. In that house he had gone to sleep each night, secure and comfortable his stomach full with delicous food, unless he was foolish enough to miss a meal from his own stubborness. He had been happy most of the time, even school had not been so bad. Tohru's friends and the other students had treated him like he was accepted. He had even been the brunt of some good natured joking. He found himself chuckling lightly at the memory of the nickname he had picked up. "Nekozuki" he said outloud to no one in particular. "Cat friend. As if anyone wanted to be that."
"As if indeed." A voice shattered his daydreams. The guard entered and he was once again secured to the bed for Akitos visit. "Why would anyone want to be your friend? You have no friends, and no family. You don't belong anywhere. Does that make you sad, Neko? I have been considering. I may be able to give you Kagura as your wife. She is willing, in fact she is enthusiastic. What do you say, Neko? Do you wish to take a wife?" He stared, this was out of the blue.
Kagura had always wanted him to marry her. That didn't surprise him, but to have this treat dangled before his eyes. Just when the seclusion had started to become unbearable. It was too good to be true.
Too good to be true. When something seemed like that, it usually was. And this was. He wouldn't do that to Kagura. She would say she wanted this, but she didn't.
Even if they were allowed to be married, He didn't love her. And He wouldn't ask her or anyone to live like this with him. Or possibly, to be married and live separately, even worse. No, this was just a toy mouse full of catnip, smelled good but the treat was out of reach. "I don't want to marry anyone."
"I see. I am surprised. Well then, I will leave you. It will be a while before I visit again, enjoy your privacy. No one will be permitted to disturb you as usual." and he was left to mull over these words. No one would be permitted. So, it didn't matter if anyone wished to see him, no one would be permitted. Kyo sighed into the bed he had once again been released from. Pulling the covers over him, he drifted off into unfulfilling sleep, devoid of dreams at least.
Anna
Disclaimer: I hold no rights to the characters in this fiction. I have not now, nor will I ever recieve financial remuneration for this work. I only write to support my own form of mental release needs. On with the story.
My Sweet Little Kitten
The sun was rising on another day, but there was no interest in sunrise anymore for one poor soul. Kyo rolled away from the window and pulled the covers over his head. The boy who used to rise early each day and greet the rising sun, do work/outs in the gardens and take a long jog, all before breakfast, no longer had any interest in the sun. He was trapped inside and the rising sun only served to remind him that he would never again run among the trees and workout amidst the flowers and plants of the gardens. He didn't want to be reminded of the place he used to do these things, and then to recall the people he used to eat his meal with when he finished these activities. He would never see them again either. He was trapped. They were still free. It wasn't bitterness at their freedom that made his soul ache and his insides curl up. It was the loss of the freedom and companionship those day entailed.
Graduation had been seven weeks ago. He had been brought here the following day, and here he had stayed. This one small room, with two small barred windows.
There was a guard at the door,(who had made it plain that he had no love loss for the cat) the one entrance, he was stationed beyond. The room had a bed, a dresser, and a desk and chair. He used the dresser to hold all he owned, a few clothes and some paper, pencils, brushes, paints and ink. The desk was to double as a table as his meals were brought here, one of them currently growing cold among the various pieces of paper strewn about the desk. He had no appetite, and this tray would be returned untouched as the last was. Lastly there was a curtained off area in one corner for him to attend to his bodily functions. But, today, he just layed on the bed, hiding under the blanket trying to sleep, but not to dream.
His dreams lately had been nightmares. He couldn't remember most, but he woke to each in a cold sweat and shaking, and then had to fight himself to return to the much needed sleep. He usually couldn't and would then rise to pace the small room, and count the steps from one side to the other, 7 steps long and 12 steps wide.
He had long since mapped it out, and now he refreshed this once or twice a night. On a good night he got as much as 5 hours sleep, before the cycle began again.
His only visitors were Akito and Kureno, and one visit a week ago from Hatori, to check on his health. Odd that the rooster would come with Akito to see him, as he had never seen the man before this. It wasn't that Akito needed him for protection, as the guard had always secured Kyo to the shackles built into the bed before anyone entered. Akito stayed only long enough to torture Kyo with words. Reminding him of his fate, and how he had failed to escape it. The rooster never spoke, only stood at the door and watched. Hatori was even more brusque in his visit, he did all the usual check up activities without uttering a single word. It wasn't that he had expected 'them' to visit. He knew they had things to do. They had lives to live and he had always been just an interuption in their days. He was just curious at how they were, and what they were doing, if anything new had happened to bring excitement into their world. These thoughts came unbidden and he would quelch them as foolish and rise to once again pace the room.
But, this morning he felt a desire to rise and cross to one of the two windows. He stood there and scanned the visible landscape. There was a small garden with a high fence. The bushes were plain and there were stands of stone in various locations, a gate was at one end and though it was supposed to be closed at all times, this morning it was open. All the way open and he could see the world beyond. Nothing much was going on, but the thrill of that much more freedom gave his heart a small lift. He closed his eyes and filled his lungs with the fresh air, leaning against the bars to get as close to the outside as he could. Then the reality hit him as it was want to do, and he sighed out the breath and opened his eyes to the realism of his prison. He gazed out the open gate and saw it as another harsh reminder that he was never to walk out of the gates of this hell, and the world beyond it was lost to him now.
Suddenly, activity sprang forth through that gate. A car drove past, and parked just beyond. He heard voices at a distance and realized it was Hatori. He had returned from somewhere, and that usually meant he had been to Shigure's house. Everyone else lived here, and he would not have needed his car for that. Had Shigure gotten sick or hurt, or Tohru perhaps. He was speculating on what terrible things could have happened that would call Hatori out so early this morning, when he realized that Hatori wasn't alone. He had gone somewhere to bring someone back with him. Shigure perhaps, or maybe it was just time for that rat, Yuki's monthly examinations. He squinted at the distance trying to see if anyone was walking up the walk beyond the gate, but alas, he couldn't. Well, why would he want to see Yuki, anyway? It was his fault he was here, wasn't it? If only he hadn't beaten him in every fight they had had.
No. He wouldn't do that anymore. He was too tired to keep trying to make this Yuki's fault. He was here because he was the cat. And the cat was always put away, before harm could be done to others. He dropped his hands from the bars and turned away from the receding voices. Crossing the room, he raised the cover on the food that had been brought. It looked completely unappealing. He replaced the cover and crossed to the bed, to drop into it and stare at the ceiling once again.
Closing his eyes brought the flood of memories, the days in the little house in the woods. He could almost smell the trees, and hear the insects and birds. He lay there stretched across the narrow bed imagining he was once again reclining on the roof, with the sun slowly setting in the distance and as he lay there, he could hear the sounds of the house settling beneath him, Yuki in his room doing his homework, Tohru doing the dishes, or the laundry, Shigure in the study typing away at the keyboard to his computor. It was a simple life but a good one, he realized that now. In that house he had gone to sleep each night, secure and comfortable his stomach full with delicous food, unless he was foolish enough to miss a meal from his own stubborness. He had been happy most of the time, even school had not been so bad. Tohru's friends and the other students had treated him like he was accepted. He had even been the brunt of some good natured joking. He found himself chuckling lightly at the memory of the nickname he had picked up. "Nekozuki" he said outloud to no one in particular. "Cat friend. As if anyone wanted to be that."
"As if indeed." A voice shattered his daydreams. The guard entered and he was once again secured to the bed for Akitos visit. "Why would anyone want to be your friend? You have no friends, and no family. You don't belong anywhere. Does that make you sad, Neko? I have been considering. I may be able to give you Kagura as your wife. She is willing, in fact she is enthusiastic. What do you say, Neko? Do you wish to take a wife?" He stared, this was out of the blue.
Kagura had always wanted him to marry her. That didn't surprise him, but to have this treat dangled before his eyes. Just when the seclusion had started to become unbearable. It was too good to be true.
Too good to be true. When something seemed like that, it usually was. And this was. He wouldn't do that to Kagura. She would say she wanted this, but she didn't.
Even if they were allowed to be married, He didn't love her. And He wouldn't ask her or anyone to live like this with him. Or possibly, to be married and live separately, even worse. No, this was just a toy mouse full of catnip, smelled good but the treat was out of reach. "I don't want to marry anyone."
"I see. I am surprised. Well then, I will leave you. It will be a while before I visit again, enjoy your privacy. No one will be permitted to disturb you as usual." and he was left to mull over these words. No one would be permitted. So, it didn't matter if anyone wished to see him, no one would be permitted. Kyo sighed into the bed he had once again been released from. Pulling the covers over him, he drifted off into unfulfilling sleep, devoid of dreams at least.