Title: Hiding Bruises
Author: smurf
Rating: PG-13 Category: Episodic for The Shower
Summary: On his way to beat up Eddie, Ryan realizes who the real enemy is.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, just like to take them for test drives.
It hadn't been the only time, he should have known. It shouldn't have shocked Ryan that Eddie had hit Theresa before, and he knew in his gut he would again. Some things never changed. His father was never coming home. His mother was never sobering up. Trey would always be in trouble. Much as he'd like to hope for better, things never would be.
He could think it was about being poor, working too many hours, living in a rough neighborhood, but Newport had taught him that wasn't the case. Maybe he should be glad there were constants in the universe, but right now all he could see was red.
Mist rose over miles of blue oceans while cliffs zoomed past Marisa's car. He knew he was driving too fast, and didn't care. The engine purred and he liked controlling all the power it contained.
Ryan also knew it wasn't really about Eddie. It was a backhand from AJ, giving him a drunken smile from his spot beside his mother, Dawn, on the couch. Into his mind flashed the image of Trey protectively in front of him, fists raised, nose bloody, standing up to a high Cole. He remembered fighting some guy named Gary off Dawn for getting too rough.
He pressed the pedal down further. Maybe if it had just been Dawn's men.... His father's rage had always been white hot when it surfaced. Words grew into slaps and then punches. Breaking a glass when his dad was in the wrong mood had gotten him a busted lip. Wreaking his new bike had released a fury that resulted in belt strap marks that had lasted for months.
Even Dawn could get rough occasionally, when his mouth was too smart, times were too lean, her current guy too rough. He'd always been good at hiding the bruises, more for his embarrassment than her protection.
With one sudden jerk Ryan turned the car off the rode, heard the engine rev down to idle. He kicked it into park and cut the motor. He wanted to hit something, anything, everything. He'd been right in telling Sandy he didn't understand, he couldn't.
Eddie would beg forgiveness. Say he was sorry and wrong. He'd promise never to do it again; they always did. And he'd mean it all, to the core of his soul. Theresa would go back to him because sometimes hope is all you have.
He rested his head on the steering wheel, knuckles white from gripping it. The clammy feeling came brewing up inside him that is wasn't really Eddie he was mad at, or AJ and Cole, not even his dad and Dawn. It was himself.
In a moment of anger, pushed to breaking, Ryan knew he could do the same as them all. He saw his fist hit Marisa. Saw her pretty face with a black eye. It was as much his defense to the world as it was theirs, and it had been deeply learned, never to be fully gone.
Suddenly the anger was gone. That old feeling of embarrassment came bubbling up inside his chest, but it was so much worse than just hiding bruises.
End
Author: smurf
Rating: PG-13 Category: Episodic for The Shower
Summary: On his way to beat up Eddie, Ryan realizes who the real enemy is.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, just like to take them for test drives.
It hadn't been the only time, he should have known. It shouldn't have shocked Ryan that Eddie had hit Theresa before, and he knew in his gut he would again. Some things never changed. His father was never coming home. His mother was never sobering up. Trey would always be in trouble. Much as he'd like to hope for better, things never would be.
He could think it was about being poor, working too many hours, living in a rough neighborhood, but Newport had taught him that wasn't the case. Maybe he should be glad there were constants in the universe, but right now all he could see was red.
Mist rose over miles of blue oceans while cliffs zoomed past Marisa's car. He knew he was driving too fast, and didn't care. The engine purred and he liked controlling all the power it contained.
Ryan also knew it wasn't really about Eddie. It was a backhand from AJ, giving him a drunken smile from his spot beside his mother, Dawn, on the couch. Into his mind flashed the image of Trey protectively in front of him, fists raised, nose bloody, standing up to a high Cole. He remembered fighting some guy named Gary off Dawn for getting too rough.
He pressed the pedal down further. Maybe if it had just been Dawn's men.... His father's rage had always been white hot when it surfaced. Words grew into slaps and then punches. Breaking a glass when his dad was in the wrong mood had gotten him a busted lip. Wreaking his new bike had released a fury that resulted in belt strap marks that had lasted for months.
Even Dawn could get rough occasionally, when his mouth was too smart, times were too lean, her current guy too rough. He'd always been good at hiding the bruises, more for his embarrassment than her protection.
With one sudden jerk Ryan turned the car off the rode, heard the engine rev down to idle. He kicked it into park and cut the motor. He wanted to hit something, anything, everything. He'd been right in telling Sandy he didn't understand, he couldn't.
Eddie would beg forgiveness. Say he was sorry and wrong. He'd promise never to do it again; they always did. And he'd mean it all, to the core of his soul. Theresa would go back to him because sometimes hope is all you have.
He rested his head on the steering wheel, knuckles white from gripping it. The clammy feeling came brewing up inside him that is wasn't really Eddie he was mad at, or AJ and Cole, not even his dad and Dawn. It was himself.
In a moment of anger, pushed to breaking, Ryan knew he could do the same as them all. He saw his fist hit Marisa. Saw her pretty face with a black eye. It was as much his defense to the world as it was theirs, and it had been deeply learned, never to be fully gone.
Suddenly the anger was gone. That old feeling of embarrassment came bubbling up inside his chest, but it was so much worse than just hiding bruises.
End