Lee's List of Manliness!

Lee jumped into the air, punching at nothing. "YOSH! IF I CANNOT WIN THIS MATCH, I WILL DO ONE THOUSAND ATTACKS AT THE LOG! AND IF I CANNOT DO THAT, I WILL DO ONE THOUSAND PUSH-UPS! AND IF I CANNOT DO THAT, I WILL DO ONE THOUSAND, FIVE HUNDRED SIT-UPS! AND IF I CANNOT DO THAT, I WILL EAT NEJI'S HOMECOOKING!"

"Your youthful energy is an inspiration to us all, Lee!" Gai shouted, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Gai-sensei!" Lee sobbed, as well.

"Lee!"

Hug!

"Baka," Neji scoffed, the faintest of blushes creeping over his cheeks at the comment on his homecooking. "You always make extra challenges for yourself."

"What if you can't do anything you promise to do?" Tenten asked critically, ignoring the fact that Gai-sensei and Lee were embracing and sobbing.

"Then I will simply have to work harder!" Lee clenched his fists, his eyes shining. "That is my way of the ninja!"

"Lee! You have such youth! Such passion!" Gai's eyes flashed. "I'm so proud of you!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

HUG--

"'Scuse me." Neji popped up between then before they could hug again. "Can we get on with life, please?"

"Of course!" Lee broke away, taking his fighting stance. "Let's fight, Neji!"

"Finally." Neji took his stance, as well.

Five minutes later

"Ok, go ahead, go kick the log." Neji turned away, leaving Lee in a crumpled, bleeding mass on the ground.

"Anou..." Lee groaned and let his head rest on the ground for a few minutes.

I wonder... Tenten ran after Neji. "Oi! Neji! You're not, you know... grudging because Lee insulted your cooking, are you?"

"Grudging?" Neji turned to her, his eyes spitting fire. "Of course I'm not grudging. What makes you say that? Besides, I am an excellent cook!" he shouted, his chakra creating a small crater under his feet.

Tenten backed away as Neji turned and began murmuring to himself.

"What's wrong, Neji?" he asked in a creepy voice. "Nothing's wrong," he answered himself in his normal voice. "Why are you so angry?" he asked in the creepy voice. "Because Lee is a freak of nature and I can't break him of the habit! Did he insult our cooking again? Yes! He made it one of his 'promises'! Ohhh, he will pay.... He will pay for this insult...!"

"Um... Neji?" Tenten squeaked.

"What?!" He whirled around, his eyes menacing.

"Um... don't hurt him too bad, ok?" she asked carefully.

"You can help us, Tenten!" he said, rather excited for him (aka, monotone with slight feeling).

"...Huh?"

"Come on!" He grabbed her arm and pulled her back towards the clearing where Gai's cell normally trained.

"Uh..."

Neji shushed her, stopping just outside the clearing. Tenten was confused for a moment, before she realized he was listening to Gai and Lee talk.

"Gai-sensei! I lost again!" Lee was saying.

"Don't worry, Lee! You will win one day! You have such youthful power!"

"Do you think so, Gai-sensei?!"

"I do, Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"That is not something you get used to," Tenten stated, turning away as her freakish sensei and freakish team-mate embraced.

"Shhhh!" Neji continued to listen tentively.

"Gai-sensei! We must continue the list!"

"Of course, Lee! Should either of us lose again, we must have the List Of Manly Promises ready!"

"List Of Manly Promises?" Neji and Tenten repeated together, peeking out from behind the tree they were hiding behind.

As they did, they saw Gai whip out a rather thick scroll, a paintbrush, and a bottle of ink.

"...Where is he keeping it?" Neji asked, eyebrow raised.

As Gai and Lee bent over the scroll, eyes intent, Neji suddenly had an idea. His face split into a grin; he knew he looked pyscotic, but he didn't really care; he had a good idea.

"Come on, Tenten!" he hissed, grabbing her wrist and running away at an unearthly speed.

"Hu--WHOA!" Tenten felt like a wind-sock.

Later

"Ok!" Neji slammed a twelve-inch thick book on his desk. He beamed at it for a few minutes.

"Ways To Kill Gai-sensei and Lee?" Tenten read the title. "By Hyuuga Neji?" She turned to her team-mate. "Do you have a life?"

"Shut up!" He got out a scroll and his writing supplies, opening the book to page one.

WAYS TO KILL GAI-SENSEI AND LEE

By Hyuuga Neji

1. Sneak poison into a snack and give it to them, claiming it will give them immortal youthful energy.

2. Tell Hokage that Gai-sensei's dancing has scarred me for life and demand he be executed.

3. Use Henge to turn into a female-version of Gai-sensei aNd lurl him away into a pit of insane cats.

4. Shred all of Gai and Lee's wardrobe and replace with normal, human clothes.

5. Play Pin-The-Kunai on the Gai.

6. Let Tenten use Lee and Gai for target practice and say it was an accident

7. Use my Gentle Fist to cut off chakra-circulation to lungs

8. Throw them both into a boiling pot of lard and let Chouji sit on the lid

Tenten turned to Neji. "How long have you spent on this?"

Neji shrugged. "Since the cell was created, give or take."

She raised an eyebrow. "You really don't have a life, do you?"

He glared. "Shut up."

"Why did you need to bring this out anyway?"

"To give me inspiration," Neji answered, opening the blank scroll.

"...For what?"

"Lee's New and Improved List of Manly Promises," he answered, looking at her as if she were dense.

"...This is getting to be very disturbing..."

TO BE CONTINUED!!