"It's no different than before," the fire shikigami told him.
"But, Touda… it is different! You're free now!"
"Yes, Byakko, I am. I'm free, but I'm still a criminal. They know it, they fear me."
Byakko sighed and just embraced him, holding him close. "I know you," he murmured. "I don't fear you."
Touda had no reply for that.
Byakko watched. He just couldn't help it.
Seeing Touda without his visor for the first time had been quite a thrill for the tiger, and he had fallen in love with those wonderful golden eyes immediately. When the visor had come back on, he had hated every moment of it, had wished there was another way. Now the cursed thing had been forever removed. How anyone could call Touda's eyes 'snake eyes' or cold, he couldn't understand. For him they were golden and hot, not cold, and he could read so much in them. So many emotions that had been hidden by the dark tinted visor so long, had been suppressed for ages.
Now they were forever freed, there for him and the world to see them.
"Down in Tenkuu," Touda had once said when they had cuddled – beware he'd ever call the serpent cuddler or cute – "I felt nothing. With Keijin my feelings seemed to have died, and it was when Tsuzuki pulled me out of that cell, he pulled me out of my personal hell, too. That's when I started to feel again."
And then those lizard like eyes had glowed, and Touda had bent down for a sweet kiss.
"Thank you," he had breathed very very softly.
"What for?"
"For being such a persistent little bugger. If you hadn't asked… had dared to annoy Sohryu that much... he'd never have thought twice about me."
"But he did. And you're free."
"Yes…"
And Touda's lips had wandered over his body and extinguished every coherent thought for a long while.
"What?" Touda now asked slightly irritated.
He seemed unable to get used to feeling a pair of red eyes watching his every move.
"Just looking," Byakko smiled.
The tiger had become a little more settled around him, though he'd never lose his bouncy, easy excited self. Touda had yet to make a decision as to whether he would permanently move into the wind shikigami's palace or have his own built somewhere close by. Questions as to his former residence, before his fall from grace, had not been clearly answered. To Byakko it was clear he didn't want to go back to that particular place.
"What are you looking at, cat?" Touda growled.
"You."
"Why?"
"Because I think you look yummy."
"I… what?"
Touda gasped a little when he felt long fingers run over his shoulders from behind, lips at his neck, a sharp canine carefully, teasingly scratching over his pulse point. Byakko's hands had found the opening of his robe and were now descending down his chest, fingertips brushing over his nipples, sending a shudder through his body. The serpent leaned back into the slender body, reaching around to pull his lover into a kiss – which turned into a hot dueling of tongues. Touda found himself moaning into the kiss, needing to catch those wayward hands.
Since his acquittal their lovemaking had become much more intense – as if his emotions had been imprisoned, too, and were now running free with the rest of him. He had even been able to let himself fall a little and close his eyes, just enjoy Byakko's gentle caring touches. It had just been a massage, nothing more than a backrub – at first – but to Touda it was one hell of a step. To turn his unprotected back to someone, even if it was his lover, to trust enough to do that … Byakko hadn't commented on it, but Touda knew that the tiger understood.
He had quietly announced every move.
And Touda loved him – though he hadn't been able to say the magic three words. He just hoped Byakko knew it.
The tiger bit his ear gently and slid on his lap, straddling his hips before he returned his attention back to his chest, making Touda moan softly at the sensation of somewhat raspy hot tongue on his cooler skin.
It was late. Very late. Night had fallen and considering the hot encounter just an hour earlier, he should be asleep.
But he wasn't.
Touda stood on the balcony of the bedroom, gazing out over the silent world of GensouKai center. There was hardly anyone awake and the night was clear and fresh and cool. It was a good cool, a refreshing cool, a weather Touda, despite being a fire shikigami, liked. It cleared his head, it gave him the necessary distance to think.
About himself, his life… about Byakko.
Touda's gaze traveled into the dark bedroom, looking at the peacefully sleeping man in their shared bed.
His lover.
The Protector of the West.
Touda smiled a little, features softening.
Byakko had done so much for him, and most he would never be able to repay. Touda knew what the tiger had done; like making arrangements with the baker woman in the little village near his cabin. The first time he had found something fresh to eat he had thought it to be a mistake. In all the years he had bought her old food she had never given him anything. Food was too valuable to just give away.
Byakko had made sure he received fresh vegetables, bread or even ham once in a while. Touda had never told him he knew, and he probably never would. It was the first time another shikigami had done anything for him. Aside from Tsuzuki, no one in his life after the prison sentence had ever cared. Then the tiger had come.
He had never tried to change Touda or anything in the serpent's life. He had known about his run-down cabin, had known about his so-called diet, had known so much and had never shied away.
"I love you," Touda whispered into the night, leaning against the hardwood railing.
He loved Byakko like he had loved Keijin, and the two men were completely different. He would never compare one to the other, only his feelings for each. And he felt with the same intensity.
There was movement from inside and Touda glanced into the bedroom, watching Byakko turn over and curl up on the other side. The black and white tail twitched a little and then he was quiet again.
Touda walked inside, and smiled at his sleeping lover. Byakko was so much younger than him, but he had more courage, more energy, more life than anyone he had ever known. Sitting down, he reached over and stroked the furry tail. He loved that tail.
I love you, he thought, smiling more.
And now he was free. He was free, he had a lover, he had the bond to Tsuzuki… his life was filled with emotions and hope and a future.
He hadn't seen her since the trial. In the distance, maybe, but never up close and personal any more. Touda had to confess he actually missed the confrontations, the sparring lessons, even if the last one had nearly killed him. But he had wanted to die a few weeks ago, so he couldn't fault her. Suzaku had only helped him along.
But now he was looking into those fiery eyes, framed by black hair in a beautiful face. She was in her traditional outfit, unarmed, at least visibly, and her face was like a mask, though her eyes gave away her emotions.
"Suzaku," Touda broke the silence, voice neutral.
She inhaled deeply. "Touda."
Silence again. It was laughable. Almost.
"I apologize," Suzaku finally said formally.
Golden eyes widened a little. Now there was a new twist to their relationship. She had never apologized before.
"I apologize for attacking you. I never noticed your injury. I could have killed you."
Touda smiled humorlessly. "I appreciated your help at the time. It was my intention to die."
She briefly closed her eyes, shaking her head. "You would have killed Tsuzuki as well."
Was there a little of the old fire again? He hoped so. A guilt-ridden phoenix didn't fit the image he had of the Protector of the South.
"No," the serpent answered. "I was planning on leaving slowly, not to cut the bond abruptly."
"You didn't and still don't know if that would work!" Now the fire was back and red eyes glowed. "It was irresponsible!"
Touda chuckled. "I thought you had come here to apologize, not to blame me for anything."
She grimaced. "You're always to blame for something."
He smiled and walked past her. He had an appointment with Sohryu to keep.
"Good to know not everything changes," he said.
Suzaku glared daggers at him.
She felt her temper boil, her blood pressure rise, and it felt good. It felt so very good and something inside her tingled.
It had started to tingle when she had looked into those golden eyes, had taken in the tall, muscular frame that stood across the path from her… and something she had thought had died a long time ago had been revived.
Suzaku had tried to forget the feelings of a young girl, of a teenager who had had her first crush, but they had slowly come back after Touda had been released from Tenkuu's depths. It had been decades ago… centuries… She had been thirteen, she had seen the fire serpent for the first time, and she had fallen in love. A teenage crush. Nothing serious.
But those feelings had persisted to this day, only in a different way.
"Stupid," she muttered. "So stupid. You knew it from that day on, and still it doesn't go away. And anyway… even if he had felt something in return, fire and fire don't get along."
She walked down the path, shaking her head.
"Was too late anyway. Got himself a wind shikigami. And it's not like I'm jealous. Byakko's good for him, and he makes Byakko happy. We just would have been at each other's throats."
But the feeling persisted. She would always love him, in a way. It was a hopeless feeling, one that might disperse with the right partner, but for now she would enjoy it.
Touda was her first crush, he would remain it, and she would never treat him any differently than before. Maybe one day in the near future she would dare to initiate another game. She had enjoyed their fighting, their sparring, their encounters. She was a warrior and he kept her on the edge, she had honed her skills in that time, and she saw him as a worthy opponent.
Suzaku smiled to herself as she launched into the air, enjoying the freedom of flight.
Touda stood behind the wooden partition, face a mask, eyes showing no emotions.
He had heard the muttered words, he had put them into the right context, and his mind whirled.
She had loved him? She still did?
It made a strange kind of sense, the past and their fights… a very strange kind of sense.
Shaking his head, he turned and continued his way to Sohryu's palace where he had been called to a meeting with the dragon.
End of this story for now. More Yami fic to come.