Title: Bringing her back

Author: thousand-miles

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: NCIS belongs to DPB and CBS. This is only for fun.

Summary: Post Left for Dead. Kate rethinks her job at NCIS. K/G

A/N: My first NCIS fic... While watching the last scene of Left for Dead I waited for Gibbs to go to Kate. She looked so helpless and she was looking at him like she wanted him to go to her. But he didn't and the ending was rather unsettling. I do think the bomb shook Kate up. She's a profiler, I can imagine her blaming herself for not seeing it. Also, watching Eye Spy, there seems to be a new comfort level between Gibbs and Kate. So this fic takes place after LfD and before ES. Also, English is not my native language and I haven't found a beta yet. So if someone is willing to beta, I'd appreciate it. Reviews are welcome, I'd love to hear your thoughts especially because this is my first NCIS fic. But please, be gentle with the reviews.

Bringing her back

He watched her being treated by the paramedic. Her eyes were distant... she was clearly in shock. Luckily nobody of his team got seriously wounded by the explosion. As soon as he heard the word bomb, he'd rushed to Kate trying to protect her. Ever since he'd met her he had the urge to protect her. He'd done so before with a bomb explosion. This time, he didn't get hurt, Kate did. But the hurt wasn't only physical for her, it was mental. He knew for sure that these last few hours had made a deep impact on her. He didn't know how help her.

He wanted to take her home with him to keep an eye on her, but he couldn't. Tony would be there and that would give them time to talk. Going to her place also wasn't an option because he would feel like he was intruding. So, in the end he'd called Abby, asking her to take Kate to her place and keep an eye on her.

He saw Abby arriving on the scene. She quickly walked up to him. "How is she?"

"Nothing to serious but I haven't talked to the paramedic yet." He watched Kate again and saw the paramedic stepping away from her. He quickly followed him to ask how Kate was. "How's she doing?"

"She will be fine, sir. Mostly bruises and scratches. She's in shock, though. Give her time."

"Okay, thanks."

He walked back to Kate, who now had company from Abby. He saw Abby talking to Kate, but saw that Kate wasn't really listening. The distance was still there in her eyes.

"Take care of her Abby. If anything happens, call me. And don't let her come to work tomorrow." He told Abby, as they stood few inches away from Kate. Walking back to Kate, he touched her arm. He waited for her eyes to focus on him and slowly they did. "Abby's going to take you home with her. Call me if you need me and take tomorrow off, Kate."

She slowly nodded but he wondered if his words were really getting through to her. He watched the two women walk away. He left to go home when he saw the car driving away.

The following morning he immediately went to see Abby. He'd hardly slept because all he could think about was Kate. He wanted to see her, to make sure she was all right but he couldn't yet. He first had to deal with the paperwork concerning the bomb explosion.

"Abbs," Gibbs said as he walked in Abby's lab.

"Good morning, Gibbs." She greeted him as she turned towards him. She knew why he was here.

"How's Kate?" He cut to the chase, but that was the man he was.

"I'm not sure, Gibbs."

"You're not sure?" At times like these he didn't like long answers. He just wanted to know how she was.

"Yeah.... She hardly slept, she didn't talk to me. She ate and drank... but that's it. I tried to talk to her about what happened but I couldn't get through to her. She was shutting me out. I can't get through to her."

He had expected this reaction from Kate. He knew the feeling of guilt all too well. He knew how it could tear you up inside. He didn't want it to tear her up like it at one time did to him. He now was certain he had to talk to her today.

"When I left this morning she was still the same. I don't know what she's going to do. Told her to call me if she needed me."

In the mean time Kate had left Abby's place. She needed to be at home. She was now sitting on her couch, rethinking the mistakes she'd made. She should have seen it. After all she was a profiler. How could she make such a big mistake? She thought she could read people well but apparently not. Two people were killed, even more got wounded and she'd put her team in danger. She'd failed, she'd failed big time. She wasn't as good an agent as she thought she was. She needed to rethink her job. Maybe it was best to choose another career. Clearly she wasn't good enough for NCIS. She could have gotten Tony or Gibbs killed.

She knew Abby was worried but she simply didn't want to talk to her about it. She couldn't talk about it. The thought of going back to work was unsettling to her. She knew she had today off but she had to get back tomorrow. She didn't know if she could handle it. She didn't want to bring the team in danger again. She needed to get away from here to think about everything and deal with it. So she called Director Morrow and asked for a leave of absence. He'd just asked if she was all right and if she was sure. When she answered affirmatively he agreed. He'd given her a month before she had to return. Agent McGee would take her place so the team wouldn't be shorthanded.

She was surprised Gibbs hadn't come by yet, but she was sure he would. A part of her wanted him to be there for her, to tell her she wasn't a bad agent. The other part told her it was for the best that he wasn't there... he probably would tell her to get back to work, forgetting what had happened. She wanted him to care but she knew better.

Gibbs decided to quite early today so he could talk to Kate. He called her but she didn't pick up her phone. He heard from Abby that Kate had gone back to her own place. He could imagine she felt more comfortable there. So now he was knocking on her door, waiting for her to let him in.

Kate heard the knock on her door and knew who would be standing on the other side of the door.

"Gibbs." She said as she opened the door for him.

"Kate." He greeted her. He observed her. She looked better than yesterday, but she was avoiding his eyes. Probably because he could always tell how she was when he saw her eyes. To him she was an open book.

She stepped back to let him pass still avoiding his eyes. She didn't want him to see how much this was affecting her. How much this had scared her and made her question her abilities.

"You okay, Kate?" He asked as he watched her close the door and turn to him. When she finally looked up he saw the guilt in her eyes.

"I'll be fine." She walked passed him and sat down on her couch.

Gibbs hesitated a moment before he joined her on the couch. He didn't know what to say and didn't know how to make her feel better.

His hesitation told her he blamed her too. How could he not? It was her fault, her mistake.

"I'm sorry Gibbs. I should have known better." She admitted her mistake.

He didn't know what to say. He couldn't tell her it wasn't a mistake. He didn't know how to make it easier for her. He knew he couldn't take away the guilt. He opened his mouth to say something but Kate continued.

"I know I messed up big time. I feel like such an idiot. Damnit! I should have known better."

"Look there's nothing you can do about it now. Just don't make the same mistake again."

She closed her eyes for a moment, fighting back the tears that were threatening to fall. She really needed him to hold her and tell her she was a good agent, but she knew he would never do that.

He didn't know what else to say. He watched her and wanted to take the pain away but he couldn't. He would be crossing boundaries he had purposely put between them.

"I think its best you go home, Gibbs." She suggested. She needed time alone.

He nodded and walked to the door. He looked back at her. "I'll see you tomorrow." He waited for her nod but he didn't see one. "Goodnight." He said before closing the door behind him and leaving her alone.

Tears began to fall as she heard the door close. She wished she could change the man. Why couldn't he see that all she needed was his arms around her? His confirmation that she was a good agent. She gathered her stuff and decided it was best to leave immediately. She still had a key to her parents' cabin. It would do her good. She called her brother to let him know she was coming by.

After another restless night, Gibbs walked out the elevator, hoping to see Kate at her desk.

"McGee, what are you doing here?" Gibbs asked as he saw Agent McGee sitting behind Kate's desk.

"Euuhh... well I was ordered to work on your team." McGee answered already nervous.

"And why is that?" The older agent asked as he took his seat behind his desk.

McGee glanced around, hoping Tony would walk in to help him out. "Because... you need a replacement for a month."

TBC......