I'm sorry, my name isn't showing up right. Ummmm... This fic is dedicated to V.Valentine, who loves Sephy/Vincent pairings. I did it exspecially for V.Valentine, so I hope you like it. I make lots of spelling errors so plz bear with me. This is a one-shot, so don't expect another chappie k? Don't want to disappoint you. Well, hope you likes it!!
Memories
By: Shiro Tenshi D
Final Fantasy VII
I'm alone. All alone. I lay on my bed at night, immersed in tear soaked blankets, wondering where you could be. I am haunted by memories. Memories of your angelic face. The way your crimson eyes would read my every thought.
I knew you, unlike most people. I knew your wants and needs. Your fears... and even what angered you. I knew it all. All I did to show it to you was yell. Scream at you. Accuse you. I know why you left. I would have left too.
I remember your face. Your lips and eyes. The way you would embrace me when my father would beat me. The way your hair swept onto me like swirls of ebony mist. The way you talked, in that solemn manner..... enticed me with just one motion.
Memories that will haunt me until the very day I die. Why did I do it to you? Why did I make you suffer? You were the only thing that meant anything to me in my life, and you still are. I am sorry. Sorry for the trouble I caused. I would do anything, now ,to feel your sweet embrace just once more.
I am drowning in these memories. Memories that threaten to drive me mad. Memories that make my insides churn. I made you leave. Forced you to. Why I did it, I do not know. All I know is you aren't here, and it's my fault.
It's all my fault. My fault I will never see your crimson eyes, like pools of sweet blood, tainted from all those years alone. My fault I will never hear your calm, quieting voice after hours of torture and agony, induced by my father. All my fault.
If you were here now, you would laugh at the lovesick, childish boy I have turned into. I was once proud. Strong, happy. Looked up to. All that changed when you left. Why did I hurt you, my Akutenshi? Why?!....... For reasons I do not know.
If only I could feel your warm, sweet breath slide down the back of my neck once more. Feel your lips, soft and caring against my skin.
You were fragile. Fragile like the many china sets and antiques I have smashed in a rage so furious it frightened even I. Fragile like a child's heart, when he first finds out his dad is leaving him and his mother for ever.
I broke you, my Akutenshi. Broke you in ways that would be considered inhumane to even the foulest beasts known to man. No. You are not the foulest beast. You are no beast. I know I called you one, as did my father. But...you are not a beast.
I would ask what I have done to deserve such torment, but I know the answer. I made you suffer through horrendous torture. That in which I could never survive. I forced you to do my bidding. Ridicule.... something you put up with for an agonizingly long time. I am just as bad as my father.... if not worse.
I have placed you, the one I love, in an area so horrible, so isolated that even the satanic minions of Hell would want nothing to do with me. I long to feel your mouth against my skin, leaving trails of featherlight kisses that take me to a whole new world and threaten to keep me hostage.
Now. Now I am cursed to never feel the warmth of your touch, the taste of your lips.... the sweet fragrance of your hair. I regret the life I lived. The life I made you suffer through. It is only right for me to suffer now.
I need you in my life. I need you back. I am not speaking as a childish stalker who only wants your body; I am speaking as me. Myself. I am speaking as the person I lost long, long ago. I am speaking as my true being, my true identity that no one, not even you, has witnessed.
From the very depths of my soul, I beg. I beg you to come back to me, my Akutenshi. Come back from the hellish world I have forced you into. I need you here with me; by my side. I can't go on like this any more. I need you. Without you I am nothing but a heartless bastard with no meaning in life but to wait for death.
"Is this how you really feel?" I jump as I hear your voice. The voice I have longed to hear for so long. I turn around slowly, thinking this couldn't be happening. But when I was fully turned around, I began to believe.
You stood with your usual proud stance. Tall and dark, obviously weary from your travels. Your ebony hair hung low, framing your handsome face. Rain water dripped off the tips of your raven black hair and onto the floor. Your clothes were soaked and your eyes half closed.
I understand the position I am curled up in is akward, almost impossible, but I didn't notice at that moment. You were here. With me. That was all that mattered.
"Y-yes, my Akutenshi. This is how I really feel." I said cautiously. Perhaps your absence has finally driven me mad and I was just hallucinating.
"Stand up, my love." I did as you asked, delighted at hearing your voice once more. I stood in front of you, Akutenshi. Two strands of my silvery hair layed at my jawbone. There were dark circles under my eyes, due to the insomnia I have witnessed since you left. My long, black coat hung leisurely around my ankles, my pants almost blending in with it.
I wanted to lunge at you; hold you forever... but I was forced to contain my composure. The composure someone as superior as me should attain. The only flaw was the tears that streaked my face. Your blood-red eyes stared into mine... into my very soul.
"Come closer, my beloved one." You beckoned me. I had no other purpose but to obey.To obey your wishes. I have been deprived of your sweet touch for far too long, my love. You beckoned, so I came. I stood in front of you. Tears overflowed my transparent green eyes and ran down my cheeks.
I expected you to be angry, to punish me for the years of anguish you put up with. But, no. You merely looked at me with those stunning, crimson eyes and sighed. Tears were beginning to form. Well up around your eyes. These tears... filled with sorrow. Sadness I inflicted on you.
I watch as those painful tears slid down your smooth, creamy cheeks and dripped off the end of your jawbone. Your eyes, once burning with desire, were now as dark as the black heart that lies within me.
Raising a shaking hand, I attempt to wipe away your tears. But you flinch and move away. I will not hurt you anymore. My hand retreats to my side and my gaze wanders to the floor. I do not want to see you like this Vincent. No longer will I raise a hand to you.
I feel your hand on my shoulder, but I refuse to gaze upon you. I do not want to look at the pain I have caused you. Your eyes, my favorite part of you, were once like scorching, crimson flames. Now... they were lifeless, and cold as ice.
"Look at me." You stated it bluntly, perfect composure. I, again, refused to look at you.
"Sephiroth... look at me." Your voice contained a subtle plead. I wanted to look. I wanted to look at you, gaze upon your beauty. Oh! How I wanted to see the immaculate beauty of your god-like features. Still, I remained staring at the ground.
"...please Sephiroth...look at me. Let me see you...." You sounded so...weak. So...frail. I had to look... I had to. I slowly shifted my gaze to look into your eyes. Your eyes, red as summon materia, probed me. My mind. My being. Did you trust me? Not likely.
You took my cold, trembling hand and placed it on your cheek. Your skin was warm, as was your tears. I sighed as a solitary tear ran from your eye onto my finger. I wiped it away, making my own eyes water. Oh, how I loved you. How I wanted to be with you.
I closed my eyes, tight. So tight it hurt. But I had to stop the tears from falling. My attempt was futile. Before long, cold, crystaline tears were making their way down my pale cheeks and onto the dust-clad floor. I started to tremble and my breathing became short and quick. I looked at you, eyes full of cold tears, and noticed you were also crying.
I regained my composure, with much effort, and looked into your eyes. They were sad...afraid. Like that of a beaten puppy. No. I couldn't do it to you. I couldn't become a murderer of your free will again. I can't.
Unlike me, you couldn't get control of your emotions. You began to gasp for air. You grasped your chest in pain. I couldn't let you go on like this.
I grabbed you and pulled you close. I pressed myself against you in hopes of giving you some form of comfort. I rubbed your back. Slowly. Methodically. I hugged you. I had gotten what I wanted: one last embrace.
"Don't cry, Vincent. You need to calm yourself. Come now, breathe. In, out. In, out. Good." I was surprised at the volume of my voice, for I had a lump swelling in my throat that threatened to strangle me.
Your breathing calmed and you settled down. I let out a sigh of relief. You were going to be okay.The tenseness left and you relaxed. Perhaps you did trust me.... just a little. Though you had relaxed, you still trembled slightly, like an injured child. Your hands hung loosely at your sides. Maybe you didn't trust me just yet....
"Se-Sephiroth..... I do...trust you....." Your voice, sad and unsure, filled my head. You do not know how glorious those words were, Vincent. They made my limbs tingle with warmth. Warmth that only you could awaken within me.
You wrapped your arms around me and hugged me. You embraced me, like you used to. I was so happy... to have you in my arms. To be in your arms. The whole world seemed to rejoice with me... for that one happy moment.
I looked into your eyes. Your fragile eyes. I felt weak. My legs turning to rubber... something I haven't witnessed in a long time. The flames in your eyes had ignited and were bright and radiant once more .
You placed your head on my chest and listened to the soft beating of my heart. We stood there for a long time, my love. A very long time. I didn't care... I had you with me. That's all that mattered.
After a while, you calmed down and ceased to tremble. You looked up at me, eyes like molten lava, and smiled. Your lips were exquisite. Beautiful. You stood to your full height, just an inch shorter than I, and leaned forward.
I knew what you were going to do. You were going to kiss me. As much as I would enjoy your sweet lips against mine, mine were much to tainted for such an extraordinary being. But, oh, how I longed to taste your sugar-sweet lips once more. To let you explore the depths of my sinful mouth.
I wanted to feel the pleasure of your tongue gliding gently against my own. Probing my mouth. Not missing one detail. How I wanted to feel your lips, soft and sweet, touch mine.
No matter how much I longed for such passion, I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it to you again. I moved and your lips touched my neck. So soft...so full of passion. No! I couldn't keep thinking like that. I couldn't do it. I vow never to hurt you.
"Sephiroth... you won't hurt me. You don't want to........do you?" Your voice was a little unsure. No. I didn't want to hurt you. I won't hurt you. You leaned in and kissed me softly. Your lips were warm and caring.
(A/N: This section contains slight lemon. Reader discretion is advised. And, for the record, I don't own any FF7 characters.....)
You pressed your luscious lips against mine, coaxing a reaction from me. I pressed back. Before long I was trembling. Not in fear, hate or sadness... but in pleasure. Your mouth was making my limbs tingle. My knees were going to buckle and my inner thighs were burning.
I traced your bottom lip with my tongue, making you open your mouth. I wasn't sure if you wanted me to do this, so I stuck my tongue in only a little. You closed your mouth on my tongue and started caressing it with your own. You managed to get a moan out of me. You smirked as my moan echoed of the walls of the silent room.
"Did you like that, Sephiroth?" You were teasing me. I knew you would, I had just forgotten how extravagant your skills at doing so were. I merely moan and nod my head slightly in reply. You smile at me and kiss me again. Your velvety lips rubbed against mine.
The world seemed to fade. All that mattered now was you. In my arms. That's all that I cared about. You opened your mouth, letting out an involuntary sigh, brining us closer together. The feel of warring tongues threatened to pull me over.
I pushed you onto the bed and undid the clasps on your gothic, crimson cape. I leaned down to kiss you, but when I got there, you were gone. I stood and looked around the room. You were gone.
(A/N: End of lemon.... yaoi.... lime... one of the three... hehe...)
I looked around frantically, calling out your name. But there was no reply. And no you. You left me, my angel. Left without a trace. I had no Idea where you went or why you went. I thought everything was fine.... that everything was going to be okay.
"Sephiroth....." Your voice..... behind me. I turn around, but you're not there. Tears were falling down my cheeks again. I was so confused.
"Sephiroth.... I didn't leave because of you....." You were here..... in front of me..... but... where? I couldn't see you. I fought with myself. Told myself I had to be mad. But your voice.... I could still hear it...
"I left..... because I.... died. Sephiroth... I love you with all of my heart. I wouldn't leave because you yelled at me...."
Dead....? You had to be kidding. Pulling a joke. No.... your voice was too serious. Then I saw you. Encased in white. You were slightly blurred, but I could still see your dominant features....your eyes.
"No.... y-you can't be dead... Akutenshi...." I felt so weak. So vulnerable. But I knew it was true. You walked towards me and knelt down."I love you.... don't give up on yourself Sephy." I laugh. Sephy.... you haven't called me that in a very long time. But I wanted you here... with me. Forever.... for all eternity.
"I have to go Sephy. I have overstayed my welcome."
"No! Vincent... you can't leave me."
"I can't stay with you... no matter what you do--"
"I'll sell the remnants of my soul... no matter how it hurts!" I sound so... desperate.
"I love you Sephy." With that, you were gone. Left me once again. Only this time.... I had no chance of ever getting you back.
So now, Vincent, as I write this note, I say.... goodbye. Goodbye to you, my love. My life. And to my father.... good riddance. I'll be so much happier in hell.
I put down the pen and leave the note on my desk. A tear managed to fall off of my face and onto the paper. Who cares? I would be dead soon anyway. No one would care once I was gone.
I placed the cool, smooth blade of a dagger against my wrist. Closing my eyes, as to not see what was happening, I pressed down and, in one swift motion, cut my creamy flesh. I did the same to my other wrist.
I watched the blood, as crimson as your ravishing eyes, pour down my wrists and onto the floor. I would be dead soon. Unaware of all pain. Goodbye Vincent. I hope you are happy.... where you are going.
The room is fading. I get dizzy and everything is turning black. Vincent.....I....love.......you.......................
END
Shiro Tenshi D