Pietro's Tea Party

Hey there, fans! If you love "The Starr Chronicles", then you will adore this little side fic! It was partially inspired by an episode of "SouthPark", one of my favorite shows! The title should explain it all! Enjoy! Oh yeah, and if you're wondering, this is set after the X-Men and Brotherhood defeat Roxor the Ravager. Check out my fic "The Starr Chronicles"!

Disclaimer: "Puppies!" - Jerry "The King" Lawler

Chapter 1: Shocking Discovery!

Nearby the Brotherhood House

"Man, Lila!" A frog-like boy with long dirty blonde hair said with a bit of a Brooklyn accent in his voice. He was clad in blue jeans and a green sweater, and had a green backpack on his back. He was talking to a beautiful teenage girl with long feathered black hair like Joan Jett. She had gold earrings, and her curvy figure was covered by a white Scorpions halter top, tight black leather pants with a gold studded belt, and several golden bracelets on each wrist, with a black backpack on her back. The boy's name was Todd Tolensky, a mutant with toad-like abilities. His friend was another mutant. Her name was Lila Cheney, and she had the mutant power to teleport across interstellar distances. "Are you sure it's a good idea to cut school, yo?" The two mutant friends were walking down the street to the Brotherhood House, where they lived. Actually, Todd was hopping.

"Half the teachers were all passed out drunk, my little toad-like friend." Lila laughed. "Besides, haven't you noticed something?" Todd thought about it.

"You mean the Principal acting more and more like he's rabid lately?" Todd blinked. Lila chuckled.

"That, and the fact that that 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy' reject Pietro Maximoff hasn't been in school for the past three days." Lila answered. "I thought he liked school."

"He's the only one who studies, yo. But why are you concerned? You hate him." Todd wondered.

"True, I think is a miserable arrogant worm, but I'm not heartless." Lila said. "Besides, I haven't pantsed him in three days." Todd laughed at that. Lila enjoyed tormenting Pietro, which earned her quite a bit of respect among the other Brotherhood members. The two mutants made their way to the Brotherhood House.

"Pietro?" Todd asked as he opened the door. "I got downstairs, yo. You check up."

"If we're lucky, he's got his head stuck in the toilet." Lila joked as she walked up the stairs. The two mutants searched the house for a few minutes, with no luck. "Well, I ain't going to Vegas today. Where is that dope?!"

"Who cares, yo. Let's watch the tube since we're here." Todd grinned, taking the remote and jumping on the couch. Lila shrugged.

"Meh. Might was well." Lila sat down and Todd turned on the TV. "Hey, America's Wackiest Home Movies!"

"That show is lame, yo." Todd groaned. "It's hosted by that scrawny guy who was on that show 'Full Apartment'."

"He's a wuss." Lila joked. The two friends heard voices from outside. "What? Hang on Toddy, I'll check it out." Lila got up and peeked out a window. She struggled not to burst out laughing at the sight. "Hey Frog-Man! Come here! Check it out!"

"What?" Todd hopped in. Lila pointed out the window. Todd peeked up. The sight nearly made Todd explode with laughter. In the middle of the backyard, was sitting the silver-haired speedster of the Brotherhood, Pietro Maximoff. He was sitting at a white table. Around the table was sitting various stuffed animals. Quicksilver was holding a tea party.

"Would you like some more tea, Mr. Ruffle-Tuff?" Pietro asked a pink stuffed dragon. He then spoke in a gravelly voice. "Yes, Pietro. You are so cool."

"I can't take it! Let's go rip on him." Lila giggled.

"No wait, yo. This could be serious." Todd said, grabbing Lila's arm. He eyed the TV, which was still playing the TV show "America's Wackiest Home Movies". "Let's tape it, yo."

"Ooh, you got one devious little mind, Toady." Lila grinned evilly. "I like it."

"Besides, yo…the winning tape on that show gets $10,000." Todd grinned.

"Ten thousand smackers, heh?" Lila whistled. "Man, humiliating Pietro has just become a real profitable venture."

"I get half, yo." Todd interjected. "It was my idea."

"Okay." Lila shrugged. "I'll go get a video camera."

"Lance has one in his room. He stole it from Boom-Boom when she left here. It was a bit of revenge for him." Todd chuckled. Lila nodded.

"Thanks, Todd." Lila went up the stairs. Todd continued watching Pietro hold his little tea party.

"Man, that guy has problems, yo." Todd shook his head. "And he calls me an embarrassment? Man, wait until the other guys see this!"

"Would you like some more tea, Cowboy Carl?" Pietro asked a stuffed cowboy. He then started doing a Texas accent. "Yes, Pietro. I reckon you're the greatest cowpoke this side of the Pecos."

"Man, that guy seriously needs psychological help, yo." Todd snickered. "He really does."

"Why thank you, Cowboy Carl. Would you like some tea, Polly Pretty-Pants?" Pietro asked a stuffed dolly in pink. He then assumed a feminine voice. "Yes, Pietro. You look amazingly handsome today." He went back to his normal voice. "Why thank you, Polly Pretty-Pants." Lila came downstairs with the camera.

"Hey Lila, maybe we should talk to a psychiatrist about this. This looks serious, yo." Todd said to Lila.

"But I wanna film him!" Lila whined.

The Bayville Library

Principal Robert Kelly decided to do a little class-cutting early. He really needed to get out of that school. He needed to refill his secret alcohol stash, and find some peace and quiet.

I can't believe those Xavier kids and Brotherhood kids got into another brawl. Kelly groaned. I hate those kids. He picked out a book from a shelf. "Hey, I like this book." Kelly opened up the book, and… "AAAAAAGH!!!!!!" A pack of dogs leapt out of the book and started mauling him. "HELP ME!!!" He turned and saw the librarian. The dogs froze.

"I'm sorry sir, but if you and your pets cannot be quiet, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." The librarian said. The dogs got off Kelly.

"Sorry, ma'am. C'mon, guys." Kelly trudged out, the dogs following him. As soon as he got out, the dogs resumed mauling him. "AAAAAAGH!!!!"

Bayville High

Duncan Matthews walked down Bayville High's outdoor courtyard, whistling.

"Look out!" Someone exclaimed.

"What? YIPE!!!" Duncan yelped. He ducked a flying Scott, and the X-Men's leader knocked into a beehive, causing it to fall down to the ground. A swarm of ticked off bees emerged from the broken hive, and swarmed all over Duncan. "YEEEEEEEAGHHHH!!!!! I HATE BEES!!! NO NO NO!!! AAAAAGH!!!! I'M ALLERGIC!!!!! AAAAGH!!!!! OWWCHIE!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!!!

Well, well, well! Looks like Pietro is one disturbed little boy! What insanity will happen next? Will the rest of the Brotherhood find out? How will Kelly and Duncan get tortured next? What other South Park references will appear? What does Magneto think of all this? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!