Warnings: Mpreg, slash, suicide attempt, child abuse, vulgar language, and possible sex. If you do not like any of the above then this is not the fic for you to be reading. Otherwise, please enjoy my story.

Chapter 1

James waited on the train at the beginning of the new year. He and his friends, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew were starting their sixth year and at that precise moment, James Potter was waiting anxiously for his friends to join him. James was an impatient person and hated being alone. Especially when he knew that his friends should have been there what seemed like hours ago.

"Come on, arrive now," James thought pleadingly. As if sent by telekinetic forces, Remus Lupin walked into the compartment, dragging his trunk behind him.

James smiled as he saw his friend. Remus had light brown hair and grey eyes. He was really a thin, sickly boy, but only because he was a werewolf really. James and the rest of his friends had figured it out during his second year. They had confronted Remus, who had first panicked, and had been quickly calmed down by Sirius. Now there was no doubt that his other roommates cared about his condition in the slightest bit.

In fact, during their third, fourth, and fifth years, James, Sirius, and Peter had studied impossibly hard and long and had become animagus. It had taken the entire three years to do it, and this would be the first year that they would actually be able to accompany Remus into the Shrieking Shack during his transformations. James would be a stag, Sirius a dog, and Peter a rat. Remus still wasn't sure it would work, or that they'd be safe, but it had clearly said in textbooks that only humans could be harmed by werewolves. All in all, the werewolf's friends thought that it was worth the risk to help their unfortunate friend.

Remus, for his part, trusted his three friends with his life. They had stood by him when his secret had been revealed and they had done their best to help him during his transformations, to make it more bearable for him. He had finally found some people who accepted him no matter what. Some people who were not ashamed to be the friend of a dark creature. Some people who he could trust with anything.

"Hey, Remus," James greeted his friend with pure happiness.

"'Sup, James," Remus replied, putting his trunk on the rack and plopping down beside his friend. James raised his eyebrows at Remus's reply. "'Sup?" James wondered in bemusement. "Where did Mooney get that term?"

In response to James's questioning look, Remus answered, "I went to America during the summer, remember? Apparently they use that term for greeting. It's a condensed version of what's up."

James nodded, and started staring out of the compartment door again. Sirius had to arrive soon or he would miss the train. And Sirius would not stand for missing his chance of escape from his parents.

Just then, again as if from telekinetic forces, Sirius Black walked into the compartment. He flashed a grin around at his friends and then sat down, not even bothering to put his trunk up.

"How you guys doing?" he asked, using his trunk as a footrest. He looked paler and thinner than usual to James, but just as cheerful and carefree.

At a glance anyways. At closer observation, Sirius appeared to have a fading bruise on the right side of his face and his usually bright grey eyes were dull and lifeless, yet seemed wary for any sudden moves. His manner did not appear to be the confident, swaggering demeanor that he usually had and he seemed to want to curl up in a ball in the corner. His usually neatly combed hair appeared to be matted and all out of place.

Immediately concerned for his friend, James asked, "What happened? Are you alright? What did your parents do to you? Why didn't you come to our house for assistance?"

Perplexed by the onslaught of questions, Sirius opened his mouth and closed it continuously, unsure of what to say. However, at that moment the door to the compartment opened and Peter Pettigrew stepped inside, saving Sirius from answering James's questions.

"What's up, guys," he said cheerfully, stepping over Sirius's trunk and placing his on the rack with James's and Remus's.

James and Remus nodded at him and Sirius gave him a slight smile. "So how was your summer in America, Remus?" Sirius asked.

"It was interesting. Americans have interesting lives as far as I can tell. Their lives appear to revolve around eating, watching a muggle contraption called a television, and sleeping."

"Wow," Peter muttered, "They must be really fat."

This statement took all of the boys by complete surprise and they all burst in to laughter. "Actually," Remus said, once his laughter had subsided, "most of the females were so skinny I thought that some of them might have been anorexic. A lot of the older people were fat though."

This made them all laugh again and they spent the rest of the train ride talking about the differences of Americans and themselves.

Throughout the ride, no one noticed the increasing silence from Sirius. No one noticed how much he seemed to be hurting. No one noticed that he seemed to be fighting some type of internal battle that could not be one. No one noticed the tears that filled his eyes as they approached Hogwarts.