Perpetual Tears

fluorescentpinkfairies

Rated: K+
Warnings: Shounen-ai. ItsukixSensui.
Spoilers: Chapter Black Saga; anime episodes 67 through 94.
Disclaimer: This author does not hold the false pretense that she is Yoshihiro Togashi because, well, she isn't a guy.

--

I pull my fingers through his hair gently, oh, gently.

I don't want him to lose that beautiful look on his face, that peacefulness.

How serene he looks.

How handsome.

He has looked the same way for so long. His hair is longer, sure. But he has the same smooth skin, the same silky hair, the same dark eyes, if only he would open them. His body should be deteriorating, but in this haven that I have whisked us off to, it is not possible.

He is untouched by hours, by days, by months, by years.

I'm not sure how much time has gone by, actually. And to tell the truth, I really don't care. As long as I am here, with him, nothing else matters. There is nothing else. There is only me and him and the darkness of the nothing that consumes us, surrounds us, comforts us.

I am the Gatekeeper, sitting in my world with my angel, my Black Angel.

I can feel the tears prickling the backs of my eyes again.

Will they ever stop? Will these tears ever stop flowing? Will they ever just let me be, content?

No, probably not.

He is dead. And although I could sit here forever (and probably will) just sitting with him in my arms, the fact remains that I have nothing. I am nothing. I am not even sane, really.

I remember each and every second that I have ever spent with him. I remember the days we spent, fighting against demons, and I remember the days that we spent fighting for demons. I remember the day that he snapped, the day that he was no longer Shinobu, but Shinobu and Kazuya. And I remember each time a new personality was born.

I will never let him go. And I will never stop crying.

I cradle his head in my arms, feeling the cold of his skin on mine. And yet, the contact is everything I need to calm myself and retreat into the feeling of peace.

Peace.

It's what we wanted, Shinobu.

And now we can share it, forever and ever

and ever

and ever

and ever...

The sound of my dejected sniffling is all that fills the silence as I cry, cry, cry, into his shoulder.

He is dead, and I cannot do anything about it.

He is dead.

Pure intentions, handsome face, beautiful mind...

They belong to my love, Shinobu Sensui.

And he is dead. I cannot raise the dead and I cannot do anything except hold him. There is no reciprocation. No hope. Nothing.

And that is why I cry my perpetual tears.

--

Author's Space:

I'm not sure I like this one.

I like the pairing, I guess. But otherwise, this just sucks.

No real anything.

Drake: She's begging for a compliment.

.:Blink, blink:. How did you get out? Nevermind. She's my alter-ego.

So review if you want. I don't blame you if you don't.

Really.

Tell me if you use this on a C2 and thanks for reading.

(revamped on 6/29/05)