A Bit of Harmless Fun

Disclaimer: I don't own Cats, nor am I profiting in any way from this fic...with the possible exception of feeding my slash bunnies ::sly grin::

A/N: Feedback very welcome! Please let me know if I have any spelling/grammar mistakes – hard to catch and always annoying! If you want to criticize, feel free, but at least be constructive; flames just make me laugh. Abandon all hope ye who read this fic and hate slash! ::wicked:: It's boys kissing boys, folks, and if you don't like it, don't read it.

oOoOoOo

"You can hiss you know."

A careful glance showed that Munkustrap's jaw had tightened, and the tense-to-twitching grit of his teeth was the only reaction he showed. I smirked, drawing my tongue over the tabby's torn thigh again. Though I'd been gentle cleaning most of his wounds, I now applied some force. Munku's wheezing inhale almost made me laugh. Really it did. But that small victory wasn't enough for me with the mood I was in. Placing a paw on either side of the tear, I pulled at its edges, simultaneously licking. Munkustrap jerked, and the balance I held so precariously was almost lost.

"Alonzo!"

"There's dirt in it," I said, raising both eyebrows innocently at the glare he shot at me. I chuckled, readjusting my position so I could reach the inner curve of his flank. Macavity had certainly done a number on my lover...scratches marred his back and thighs, and his neck was peppered with vicious bite marks. Some back part of my mind was still fuming over that ordeal. Though I would never say it aloud, I did plan to pay back the ginger cat for every stripe he'd ripped into the tom I loved.

As I groomed flakes of blood from Munku's soft pelt, my expression melted into a wicked smile. I nuzzled his hip with my cheek. Making sure to add a teasing purr to my voice, I said, "It can't hurt that bad, Tiger."

Munkustrap groaned, but it was an exaggerated rather than pained sound. "Everlasting Cat, Alonzo, you're not still on about that?"

"Of course I am," I answered calmly, going back to cleaning one of the many deep scratches. "It's hilarious."

"My human is seven," Munkustrap said. He sounded decidedly peevish. Through my lashes I could see that he had crossed his arms over his chest like a stubborn kitten refusing to take his bath. Laughed bubbled up my throat like the head on a bottle of gingerale, but I choked it down. Better strangle than push him too far.

"Right, Tiger. Write me a book."

"Stop talking." I could hear the smile in his voice. Picking up my smirk again, I finished my care in obedient silence. Knowing it was less than comfortable for the tabby, I combed gentle claws through his silver and black fur. Slowly, the tense body beneath me eased, and Munkustrap relaxed against the car's hood. Though the sun was long set, its warmth remained on the pitted metal. We'd curled there for just that reason.

Once all his major wounds had been carefully licked clean, I relaxed as well, sprawled against his lower body. My head rested on his abdomen, and the rest of me was practically wrapped around his uninjured leg. Me, suggestive? Never!

"You're a real pest, you know?"

"You love it," I answered, pouting up at him when he glanced down. I knew the distinct black patch marring the side of my mouth made this particular expression especially endearing. That, and Munkustrap could rarely stand when I kitten-eyed him. My lips twitched. "Besides, at least I'm no Tugger."

Munkustrap snorted. "Tugger has his fun in public and you have it in private. And don't think I didn't see you at the mating dance. Those hips could rival Tugger's any day."

I quirked a brow and grinned slowly, twisting my hips against his thigh in a completely unsubtle manner. "I did get something that the Rum Tum Tugger didn't, eh?"

"And doesn't he just hate you for that," Munku said, chuckling and allowing his amusement to curl his lips. Our gazes met, and for a moment we simply locked eyes. Black on black. A battle, though I know the love in my eyes was as fierce as that in his. His paw combed through my mane, hinting at claw, the way I liked it. A throaty purr rumbled in the back of my throat. I began to arch into his caress, when his claws brushed what felt like a live coal on the back of my neck. Wicked heat bit hard on my spine, and I flinched.

"Alonzo? What's wrong?" Munkustrap was immediately concerned, struggling to sit up.

"Nothing," I lied, frowning and shrugging off his searching paw. "I'm fine, Munkustrap. You don't need to treat me like a kitten."

"Macavity got you, didn't he." It wasn't a question. Sometimes I hated how straightforward he could be.

"I said I'm fine," I snapped, the charcoal and ivory fur along my back bristling.

He drew back as though I'd scratched him. I felt immediate guilt, but my fur didn't settle and I maintained my arrogant snarl. After a moment, his expression calmed and firmed simultaneously. He began grooming my neck with long, slow strokes of his tongue. I tried to ignore the affection, but having Munkustrap purring and nuzzling against my jaw was just too much. My composure went liquid and I grudgingly slid my cheek against his.

"Pesky and predictable."

"Quiet you."

There was a moment's silence before he spoke again, the words murmured against the sensitive skin of my neck. "Where else where you scratched?"

I drew back and glared at him. He held up both paws defensively, looking sincere. "I just want to know, Alonzo. I don't want to baby you, but I don't want to hurt you either."

Looking away moodily, I answered, "My arm and thigh got nicked. Are you happy now?"

"Yes."

I gave him a sidelong glance, surprised. Usually the Jellicle leader could be downright irritating with his over-developed protective instincts. He merely mirrored the insincere innocence I'd given him earlier, eyebrows up and expression childish. I couldn't help a soft snicker. It was wrong how well wickedness suited the silver tabby.

"I hate you," I said, pointing a finger at his face.

"I know," he answered cheerfully enough. My chuckle was muffled by his mouth, and for a moment or two I allowed myself to be pulled flush against him. But whether distracted by tongue or the paw I was sliding up his thigh, either way he didn't notice the foot I hooked around his ankle. He squawked aloud when I rolled us both off the hood of the car. We laughed as we hit the ground in a tangle of fur and half-sheathed claws, scuffling in the dust like a pair of toms after a queen in heat. Though we were each careful of the other's injuries, our seemingly unbridled struggled showed none of that care.

"Ok, kits, break it up!"

It was Demeter who pried us apart, breathing hard and glaring playfully at each other. She turned a scolding look on me, as though I'd engineered the whole thing. "Alonzo, don't be roughing now. Honestly. Take your testosterone and go wrestle Tugger."

"Maybe I will," I answered casually, lounging in the dust as she pulled Munku to his feet. He smirked at me for the short moment his head was ducked, and I returned the look wickedly. Always a battle between us. Leader and heir to everyone else...a little more to us. And perhaps Tugger, but the Maine coon was intelligent enough to keep his mouth shut about what he'd heard...or seen. The moment his head was up, however, his face settled into its usual solemnity. Accordingly, I smoothed my own features into a polite lack of interest, smiling blandly at the gold queen.

"I'm fine, Demeter," Munkustrap was assuring her. "It was just a bit of harmless fun, don't worry."

Arguing the contrary as she always did, Demeter led him back towards the junkyard clearing. My lips curved slowly at their retreating backs, waiting for the sign I knew would come. When Munkustrap threw a glance back at me, I smirked flat-out and rolled to my feet. Grinning fit to shame the devil, I slunk off to wait in his den. As he said, I always had my fun in private...