Prologue-

Not many people know the story from the beginning, the people who've heard the story don't know the full story, they're not even sure if it's true or not. I know otherwise. They don't know what I know.

All they heard were rumors and formed their own story but I was there from the beginning to end and could recall a scene in a snap of a finger. I sometimes pretend like I'm one of those misled people, who've only heard rumors and I'm ashamed to say I've agreed to the misguidance myself.

You can't escape what happens to you. Or the people around you. I had to learn that the hard way.

Under my bed in a box I have all the warnings from the Ministry of Magic to stop using the time traveler but love makes you believe, it makes you keep trying and love, like the s-o-b that it is, doesn't let you forget.

She was perfect and ambitious, I mean this girl was really going somewhere. I could tell from the moment I first met her when I was eleven. The way she pushed her way to sit in the front row, the way she negotiated to have her way, her great decision making skills--I don't even know why she even thought to befriend an idiot like myself.

I wasn't going to go anywhere, I was going to hit rock bottom. I was failing everything, I didn't know what I wanted to do. I wasn't even sure what was keeping me in Hogwarts. All I wanted to ever do was play Quidditch. That was my dream, my ambition. Lily didn't believe in dreams, she said they were for people who weren't going to do anything. She said you could have anything in your dreams but that's why their dreams. You have to make things happen, she said, you can't dream them.

I met her thanks to Professor Flitwik, Merlin bless him, I was failing Charms. He suggested for me to find a tutor. I remember replying coyly to him that if I knew anyone smart I wouldn't in fact be failing because I would have already mooched off their work. I was a bloody wanker back then.

I remember seeing her from a distance and groaning. I didn't want to have her as a tutor. No one in their right mind would want her. She was like a creature from another planet. She was like bloody brainy and an ego almost in comparison of mine. Too much pride was in her. She wasn't going to put up with my slack, she took one look at me and she said, without even a hello, 'You better take this serious Potter, or I'm not going to waste another second with your sorry arse.' And like an idiot I replied, 'Good evening to you too Miss Evans.' Despite our differences she took kindness in me and she didn't just help me with Charms, with everything. She was like my secret confidant. She got me through my years of Hogwarts.

People started to notice our friendship, they notice how I acted my best when she was present. I don't even know why, I just didn't want her to be disapointed in me or make up her mind and decide I was everything she assumed I was and just drop my friendship like a fly.

It wasn't until fifth year when Lily went out with my friend Remus that I started to understand the feelings I felt for her. At first I called them 'older brother feelings' the way boys act when their friends flirt with their little sisters. I grew annoyed seeing his arm around her or when they playfully flirted with each other. I grew so tired of them I started to avoid meals and room appearances. Sirius would bring me food, like a mate he didn't ask questions. He asked once and I brought up the 'older brother feelings' and that was it. He didn't pester me with anymore thoughts of his.

I even stopped going to tutoring with Lily, she even dragged Remus to those too. You can imagine the annoyance I felt. My grades were slipping again. I was even preforming bad in Quidditch. I couldn't handle it anymore. Why was I letting this girl get to me? Because I was falling in love with her and I didn't even know it.

Of course Lily wasn't an idiot and she knew that something was wrong between us. We weren't as close as we used to be. She cornered me when I was going to my room and she followed me up.

I remember the conversation perfectly.

'James, stop walking, I'm talking to you. James, stop, will you listen? Stop!'

'Yes?'

'Whats wrong? Tell me.'

'Nothings wrong, why would there be something wrong?'

'Well for one thing, you haven't been the same. You haven't showed up to lessons and you're grades--you were one of the top students. I mean James, talk to me.'

'I've been struggling thats all.'

'No, thats not it. You know it.'

'Lily, I'm tired. I have a test-'

'You are so stubborn, if you want to keep being like that fine. Go ahead. I won't wait for you forever James.'

Like an idiot I walked into my room and closed the door, I don't know how long she stayed out there. I know she didn't go down the stairs right away. I felt like a jerk. If it had been now I would have rushed to go talk to her but I made my choices. Sucky as they were.

The rest of fifth year it continued like that. I didn't speak to her much, I went to dinners and did fairly well in my classes. My frienship with Lily had been damaged that year. I should have fixed it right away but I didn't.

We both grew out of eachother, we didn't need each other as much as we used to. Even if she wasn't with Remus anymore. She had her friends. I had mine. We were different and thats how it continued for sixth year too.

That is until seventh year began. I remember her coming in the train, bags under her eyes and her skin was so pale that she almost looked dead. I just stared at her walk her way over. She looked so fragile like if you were to have held her she would have broken. She couldn't bring her big green eyes to stare into mine. She looked down, she wasn't the determined Lily. She was broken. Her eyes shed sadness that I've never seen her with before.

I remember saying hello to her and she didn't respond back. She acted like she didn't even hear me.

I later heard from her friends (Ash, Star and Ava) that her parents were killed in Diagon Alley. There had been an attack and Death Eaters tortured her parents to death. She had been living with her sister Petunia who blamed her for their death and starved Lily frequently and kept her in an empty room with nothing but few clothings and her Hogwart things. She had ran away from home to come back and she wasn't planning on returning.

'Lily, how are you?'

'Quite fine James, how about you?'

'I'm alright, I'm excited for the upcoming quidditch games.'

'Thats good. Something to look forward to, I suppose with all these infortunes, people need that.'

'I guess. Listen, I've got great news. My mum works in the ministry and they have a job offering for you when schools over. As a secretary until, you know, you want to.'

'You'd realy do that for me? I mean- I don't want any pity work. In fact, I rather not... Tell your folks, thanks but no thanks.'

'It's not pity work, I promise. And also I wanted to ask, I haven't been doing very well in my studies and well I was hoping you could help me...I made Head Boy.'

She gave me a big smile and you won't guess what she did next, she hugged me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and a scent of vanilla esaped her red hair.

The year went by like sixth and fifth never happened. I met a few girls and I even think I almost fell in love once but something always tugged in the back of my thoughts and it made me pull away. Lily went out a couple of times with a Hufflepuff and one was a fellow quidditch mate but it never last as long as Remus did and I was grateful.

Lily trusted me more than anyone else she knew, I kept all her secrets and fears and she kept mine. When she was sick she would lay in my bed and I would bring her a soup, buggers like us men weren't allowed in the ladies dormitories. I was so far in the friend zone I was made king of it. I was King James, the Best Friend.

The Voldemort attacks were growing stronger, fires were erupting all over the Ministry of Magic. You couldn't trust anyone. You weren't even sure if the Ministry was safe. The days were now covered in smog and fear of the coming events. We weren't allowed to go to Hogsmeade and we weren't allowed to go out of the castle.

My mum had sent me a letter saying that at the end of term she was taking me to Paris, claiming that London wasn't safe for Potters anymore. We were to leave as soon as possible.

There was only two months left of term. Lilys birthday was coming up, I had to break it to her by then.

She cried and hugged me. She felt so weak in my arms, not the Lily I first met. She had gone through so much. She was so much more stronger than this, why couldn't she just held her head up high and not shed a tear but instead she let me feel bloody awful.

I had given her a necklace, it said 'Together In Paris' with an emerald stone in it. It was a key to a music box I had made with Professor Flitwik and it sang a cheerful sleepy tune that my mum used to make me fall asleep. I told her to come with me right off the bat but she said she wanted to make extra money and work in the Ministry for a month and then she'd go find me. Sirius who was living with me at the time was more then happy to go to Paris. Remus gave us sad glances, he had to stay in London with his sickly mother.

My mother had contacted people and then arranged for Remus and his family to be shipped to Paris as well. Everything was going to plan.

That was until that attack was in Hogwarts. Something had hit the Astronomy Tower.

'Gryffindore! Head to the train station, grab only your precious belongings and no more than you can carry!' I had to yell to everyone. I ran to my room and only grabbed my invisibility cloak and a fews pocket worthy items. Sirius and Remus grabbed their wands and their own carryons and they left the room. I told them to wait for me there.

I ran into the girls dormitorys, a cluster of girls were moving in panic. Lily was searching around for something under her bed.

There was another burst, it seemed like they hit the quidditch feild.

'Lily, let's go! It's getting too risky!'

'My music box James, it's under the bed...just let me get it and we'll go.'

'Here, let me.' I reached my hand under and put it in my pocket. 'I'll give it to you when we're settled, now let's go.'

I grabbed her hand and ran out of the dormitory. Students were clustering over each other and blocking passways.

'Here, I know...' I said running to a secret stairway the teachers kept so they can get to students asap.

Trains were coming in and out that day like wild bludgers, you just had to jump on.

'C'mon James, that's our train.'

I held her hand and ran for the train, I was a quick and speedy runner and was able to grab on to the train.

'James!' Lily cried. I held her hand tightly and pleaded her to jump. 'I can't...don't let go, please...'

'Jump Lily!'

My hand slipped from hers and she fell back and all I saw was her hitting her heads backwards.

'LILY!' I remember crying. I tried to jump off to get her. They held me back until it was too late, we were far from Hogwarts. I stayed in the exact spot. I was in denial and shock over the past events. Tears singed through my eyes. I couldn't beleive what had just occured, I couldn't.

I looked for her when the trains came to a stop but I couldn't find her. My mum was already there waiting for me. She and Sirius pratically forced me into the next train that went to Paris.

That was the last time that I saw Lily Evans, three years have passed since my last year in Hogwarts. I know shes out there, looking for me, like I'm looking for her.