Author's Note: I know I should not be writing this, because I've already got two other fics on the go, but I couldn't resist.

This is very much an experiment, which is why I've only posted the first entry of the diary. If people enjoy it, I'll write more.

Disclaimer: This story is inspired by 'The Phantom of the Opera' by Gaston Leroux and 'Bridget Jones's Diary' by Helen Fielding.

Please read and review! I hope you enjoy this first chapter.

Erik's Diary

Christmas, 1880

Ugh. Christmas is such a depressing time when you're a deformed homicidal genius who lives under an Opera House. There are two main reasons for this:

1. No one gives you any presents.

2. There isn't anyone around for you to blackmail in order to receive presents.

I spent Christmas Day curled up on my sofa in front of a roaring fire, guzzling food and wine and wishing I had someone to sing carols with. I was half-way through my fifth slice of stolen Christmas cake when the dreadful pointlessness of my life suddenly overwhelmed me. I was the Phantom of the Opera! I didn't mean anything to anyone! If I died down here no one would know, let alone care! My corpse would decompose and my bones would be stolen by Alsatians!

This was not a nice thought to have on Christmas Day.

So, after crying like a baby half the night, I got up the following morning with a new and unexpected feeling of purpose and determination. I would make some major changes in my life. I would finally conquer my shyness and befriend my fellow men! The malevolent Opera Ghost would cease to exist, and I would become a perfect Angel!

Smiling happily to myself, I picked up a pen and drew up the following list of New Year's Resolutions:

I will demand a pay rise for my services.

I will eat a sensible diet (meaning one that does not simply consist of chocolate, sweets, leftovers from the managers' pantry, and red wine).

I will pursue a vigorous exercise programme in order to lose weight, as I am becoming rather too tubby to convince as a corpse-like, skinny Opera Ghost.

I will redecorate my lair with nice, bright wallpaper and throw out all morbid things such as coffins, explosives, Punjab Lassos etc.

I will finish my opera.

I will get rid of Carlotta (by any means necessary).

I will be nice to Nadir.

I will make sure the old, worn-out chandelier in the auditorium is replaced (by any means necessary).

I will frighten the ballet girls at least twice a day, as I have been neglecting them lately.

I will practice my maniacal laugh.

I will adopt a positive attitude towards life.

I will make the effort to befriend and help my fellow human beings.

I will not kill anyone.

Of course, as New Year's Resolutions do not come into effect until 1st January, I put down my pen and proceeded to eat three more slices of Christmas cake, a box of Belgian chocolates, and a large piece of cheese, washed down with a nice big glass of red wine.

I went to bed that night one very full and contented Phantom.

Author's note: I know it's short, but I'd love to know what you all think. Please review, and thanks for reading!