Disclaimer: You know, I'm not really sure if I absoultely half to do this... I mean, I think I saw someone else do it, but maybe I am just imagining things?... Damn, I gotta lay off the reefer, man...
FW: Oh... my... god... I'm acutally writing the last chapter to one of my stories... Jesus, it's been like half a year... I am happily in college, at good old UNL(University of Nebraska-Lincoln) and I gotta say I kinda like it here... Well, for some reason, I have revived my dusty old tome and gotten my fingers flyin once more... this time with the end in sight... Wish me luck, as I proudly introduce to you...
A Silent Prescense is a Heavy One
In a cave with no light, there is nothing but an echo; a deep echo that resonates from down, down, down in the earth. The occasional flapping of bats wings. In some chambers, you can find the systematic drip-drop of water falling from a stalagtite. It's an eerie place, trapped in a cave with no light. That was where Ghost sat. Alone. In his mind. An empty cave with no end in sight.
It was comforting, at least to him, to be sitting alone in his cave with no light. It felt safe. Like a child under his bed, there was a feeling of protection, albiet a wavering, uneasy protection. Because the monster can always take a peek under the bed. He just usually never does.
In a cave with no light. A cave with no light. No light... no spark. No life. Did something used to be in the cave? It seems strange that such a place could be so empty. Shouldn't a cave be full of water? A rushing, gushing, flowing underground river that barrels through the earth without equal. That's what used to be here. In this cave. But now... It's just a cave. A cave with no light.
It IS his cave. He owns it. It's his. It's him. HE'S the one with no light. He's the cave with no light. With no water. With no life.
Oh, the life water that used to flow within him. Such strength! Such energy! He was unstoppable. He was tall, and just, and fearless. Oh, where has all the light gone? Where is the glowing water? The deep-seated strength? The emotion?
That's what's missing. Emotion. The emotion has left the cave. The light has gone. The light has been robbed. Stolen. Defiled. And now there is no way to get it back. Gone. Forever. Now... There is only the cave. The lightless cave. Lightless. Empty. Dark.
I suppose that someone could catch the thief. But it would be hard. It would be impossible to catch a thief in a cave with no light. Thieves are sneaky like that. It would be best just to give up. And sleep. Here in my cave with no light. I will sleep, without dream, forever.
... Well... Why not? Let's go look for the thief, says I. After all, it could get very boring, here in my cave with no light. Let's go see what's up.
It is treacherous ground, here in the cave with no light. My cave. I don't know all the steps. Many times I fall, trip over an ill-placed rock. Oh well. Although with each stumble I want to give up... I also want to see, just what's over the next ridge.
I can see light. In my cave, there is no light, but outside of it, light grazes the edges. Something's happening outside. Let's take a look, before I go back to my cave forever.
Hmm... It looks like a forest. What a beautiful forest. I can hear birds. I can hear leaves. I can hear wind. Oh, what a beautiful forest. I wish I could live here. But no. I cannot leave my cave. It is my cave. It is me. I cannot leave my cave. But I can look out. So let's look. Let's see what happens outside.
I see people. I see people in the forest. I wish I could join them. They look so happy, alive and well, playing in the forest. Oh, I wish I could play with them. Look, one has grabbed the other. Oh, they are wrestling! And look, one is playing hide-and-seek. Oh, what fun they are having...
And in that moment, there was once more light in the cave.
Ghost realized what he was seeing. The forest. The confrontation. The death.
There was Shinji. Lying on the ground, a massive amount of blood seeping onto the ground. He was shot. Shot high on his leg. He was screaming. Screaming on the ground. Clutching his wound. God, he looked to be in so much pain. If only there was something I could do to help...
Asuka. Asuka was being attacked. One hand wrapped around her neck. Asuka was struggling to get rid of the arm. Pulling at it. Struggling fiercely but in vain. Asuka was caught. There was a gun to her head, and Asuka realized she had to stop fighting. Oh God, what a sight. Asuka could get hurt. If only there was something I could do...
There was a man. A man lying on the ground. Dead. One bullet in his shoulder. Broke his arm with that shot. Tore a hole that shredded his heart. Bled to death rather quickly. God what I sight. Who did this? Can I help? Is there something I can do...?
Kari...
The forest faded away, the cave of his mind melted back, and Ghost was left standing in the dark. He could function well enough, he could hear his own voice, see his hands, feel his face. He was alive, and upright, but...where was he?
You're simply confused...
"Who said that?"
You did...
"What?"... silence... "What did you say?"
I said, you're confused.
"And? Who are you?"
I'm you.
"You're me? So... I'm telling myself that I'm confused?"
That's right...
In his mind, Ghost reminds himself that he is confused.
"I... I am confused." He sobs. "I'm confused because... because..."
Ghost is back in the forest. No longer illusioned and disoriented, he can see the scene clearly. Shinji in pain. Asuka held hostage. Himself pointing his weapon. At someone... but that someone was fuzzy, and hard to make out. He look closer, trying to distinguish the face through the fog.
"Who is that?"
Do you really not know?
"No, I don't. Who is that?"
Don't you remember? It was ten years ago... ten long years ago...
The fog cleared, and Ghost could make out the face of the young girl he rescued, all those years ago. His heart constricted, his lungs froze, he couldn't breathe...
"What... what did I do...?"
You killed her...
"I did?"
Yes.
So it was, that Ghost's mental breakdown was complete, and his mind gave up trying to sort out the details. Such a major conflict. It was bound to mess things up. Emotion has become the death of the Ghost.
Ha...Ha Ha... hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"What are you laughing at?"
You idiot. Did you really think you killed her?
"Of course I did?"
Did you?
"Yes, I -"
DID YOU???
And once more, the painfully crafted scene arose from the ashes to haunt him. Shinji. Asuka. The girl... only...
"The face is cloudy." Well, duh. "What do you mean" I mean, of course it's cloudy. "But, I know who it is." Do you? "Yeah, it's... it's..." Ghost let himself trail off. After all, he knew who he was talking about.
So who is it? "Shut up" Who is it? "Go away" Who?
Ghost opened his eyes, but the cloud still obscured his view. "I can't see."
Aha. "And what does that mean?" You don't know who it is.
Ghost thought that the last little phrase sounded different. Like it came from somewhere. From behind him. Ghost pivoted on the ground, and looked torwards where he though he heard the voice. Ghost came walking up and sat down in front of him.
Hi.
"Hi..."
... So, you don't who it is.
"What do you mean? Of course I know who it is."
Heh, no, you don't. You only think you do. But when you really look at her... you just can't tell... she's fuzzy.
"Yeah, that's you're fault. You showed me her."
Ha, you're right you did. You sure showed you.
"Huh?"
Ghost rubbed his temples with his fingertips. Oh, boy. Don't you realized who you are? Don't you recognize yourself?
Ghost took a good look at Ghost. "Okay, fine, you're me."
And...?
"And that means that... that I clouded the face."
Because...
Ghost once again peeked at her face, and this time, tears welled up into his eyes.
"Becasue I'm afraid of who it might be."
Well... why don't you check?
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Ghost fired his pistol, the recoil lifting his arm up high. The bullet whizzed right past Asuka's ear, and popped Kari's left eye. The force of the impact sent Kari's body back straight into the dirt. Asuka immediately collapsed on wobbly knees, and crawled a few feet over to where Shinji was hissing in pain. The bullet wound didn't hit bone, only muscle and fat, and Shinji had done his best to stop the blood flow with his belt, but it was still running quickly, and it was only a matter of time before...
Two hands took the belt, unhooked it, and then yanked it tighter that Shinji thought possible. He winced, yelped, and squirmed at the immense pain, but the blood loss had been greatly lessened.
Asuka looked relieved that the blood had been dammed up, but she quickly lost intrest in Shinji, as she watch Ghost step over to Kari's body.
Ghost knealt down, and ever so slightly turned her head to face his. With practically half of her face gone, one would be hard-pressed to identify the body, but Ghost didn't need her whole face. He just needed her eye. Ghost looked hard. Harder than he had ever looked before. And he remembered.
Ten years ago, Ghost and his friend had taken shelter for the night in a small nook carved out of a cliff face. It was already night, but Ghost managed to gather enought wood to start a small fire. Ghost laid himself against the cliff, and settled into a relaxed but alert position. He leaned over, and snuck a peak at the little girl who he had fallen in love with. He patted her head, ever so gently, and she opened one eye, gazing directly at him and smiling, before wandering off to sleep. That piercing blue eye had stuck with him forever, carving a neat little niche in his heart.
Ten years later, Ghost once again found himself staring at a mesmiric blue eye. He looked as hard as he could, reaching deep within his soul for that memory. The memory of a spark. He compared the two... and he sighed. Kari was... different. Even in life, Ghost realized that she was not the one. Her eye lacked the same shine, the same life as his little love. Ghost put his fears aside him. He had not killed the little girl he had come to adore all those years ago. His was beside himself with relief. So she was still out there somewhere.
... No. Ghost craned his head up to the skies, and let out one last tear. No more tears for his lost love. Ten years ago, he died in a ball of gunpowder fury, and the girl was not any farther awaw from the blast than he was. It was by a force of unknown origin that he was allowed to comeback himself. The fate of the tiny lost one could not have been any different. Whether dead, or just lost, Ghost forced himself to let it all go. In a single tear, all of his concern and anguish melted away into water, and back into the earth. There would be no more of the girl weighing on his mind. He had another life to lead.
"Ghost! Get your ass over here and help Shinji up!" Ghost heard Asuka's trademark scream, and smiled to himself as his treaded over to the couple. Shinji was still writhing in agony from the wound. Ghost checked it again. "Don't worry, Asuka, it seems that the bleeding has stopped."
"Yeah, yeah, I can see that, but you need to help him up! He still needs to get to a hospital, and at the very least we can find a doctor over that ridge."
"Yes... Tenrai..." Ghost remembered that there was a village over the next ridge. "Here, Shinji, grab my shoulder." Shinji complied, and Ghost hoisted Shinji by his arms onto his back, and with a new confidence, Ghost started for Tenrai.
"Wait, Ghost!" Ghost turned around at Asuka, who was pointing at his case. "Don't you..."
Ghost shook his head. "No, Asuka. I'm... I'm not gonna need those anymore." And with that, Ghost kept on towards Tenrai. Asuka took one last glance at the discarded weapons, and shrugged as she dashed up to Ghost. And the two of them, with Shinji on Ghost's back, proceeded towards Tenrai. Maybe they would find a new life there. Or clues about old friends. Maybe, after a short rest, they would continue on to a bigger city. It doesn't matter. Two things were pulled out of the mess that was the Third Impact Crater. A cracked friendship that was fired-hardened into the love that had resided beneath the surface. And the other thing... a dying corpse that found it's soul, and with another chance at life, found that one thing that can keep him alive, and make it all worth it. And that thing is... I guess he still has to find it. But he does know that it's out there... somewhere...
AW: Blaughhhhh!!!! Uggghhhhh!!! That was painful, disgusting, and I hate having ever started this chapter, but, but... I NEEDED SOME CONCLUSION!!!! Anyways... thank you, for those who have stuck with throughout the, umm... three years, was it? God, I cannot believe I am actually concluding this way. Please, some one chew me out via reviews. I feel like destroying my computer. And if this actually turned out better than I thought... then WOW.