Time Lords and Sugar

It was a beautiful night at the fair. it was 1986, the moon hung high in the air, and fireworks were going off. And down on the ground, The Doctor and his companion, Melanie, were walking along. The Doctor was chomping down some cotton candy, but Mel was worried.

Doctor, you shouldn't eat so much sugar! she scolded.
The Doctor turned around at her. And why not? he shot back.
Well, there's the risk of diabetes, heart attack... she pointed to his stomach or just plain obesity.
The Doctor gave her a mean look and responded I am a Time Lord! I don't run the same risks you humans do!
How do you know?
Mel! Listen! The only worry you should have is if I take high amounts of sugar and caffeine together. That would make me irrational and... well, not myself.
Mel sighed. Whatever you say, Doctor.

Sometime later, The Doctor came across a small Mom and Pop convenience store. He casually walked in, feeling thirsty, and strolled over to the soda section. He noticed a soda he hadn't seen before. He picked it up and read: JOLT Cola, all the sugar and twice the caffeine. He laughed to himself. ALL the sugar? I suppose they found a sugar mine somewhere and took all of that! And twice the caffeine? Of what? Ha, I'll just test this out. and he paid his money and drank the JOLT.

The Doctor should have trusted the label, since he himself knows what happens when a Time Lord has too much sugar and caffeine....

Mel was frightened. She was hiding behind the console, and on the other side, The Doctor was covered in cotton candy, looking like a wild beast. Don't worry, Mel... i won't hurt you.... he said wickedly.
Mel sobbed Oh, Doctor, why did you do it? The Doctor ran around the console and grabbed her. She shrieked. Maybe a nice girl like you would like to... eat the cotton candy off of me. he whispered sensually. Mel pushed him away. Oh, Doctor, this isn't like you! When will you get back to normal?. She shrieked again when she noticed him gnawing on her hair. Your hair... is like cotton candy.... he sighed before collapsing.

The next morning, the Doctor woke up on the console room floor with a huge headache. Mel walked in quietly. Good morning, Doctor. she whispered.
The Doctor momentarily forgot what had happened last night. Then he remembered.
Mel, next time my curiosity gets the best of me....
Yes, Doctor?
...Shoot me.
Mel laughed and hugged the Doctor.

The End