She watched the traffic of speeders, shuttles, and docking ships go by out the windows of the Citadel, and wondered for a moment if he was going to come.

Maybe he wouldn't head back this way after Grenn notified him of her arrival. Maybe he would go straight to the dock, even though Dustil had already left and the Jedi Chaser was no longer there.

She frowned. Maybe this would cause more trouble than it was worth-

The door behind her finally opened. She listened as he inhaled sharply and pulled out his weapon, smiling to herself.

"You're very trigger-happy lately, Admiral."

He lowered his blaster, laughing quietly.

"You really need to find a new way of getting my attention-"

She turned, watching silently as his eyes roamed over her as they usually did when she came back, checking for any new injuries, any clues that might tell him just what she had been up to without him.

She watched as his eyes froze on the most obvious of them- her protruding stomach.

Carth exhaled. "Uh…There's one way, I guess."

She bit her lip to keep from laughing. This isn't funny. This is serious-

His mouth twitched as he came towards her, alternating between scratching his neck and holding his chin. "When did this happen?"

She raised an eyebrow at him. "I imagine around eight or nine months ago."

"Cute."

Her own hand went unconsciously to her stomach, a slight pressure on the place where her hand rested the only response.

He paused in front of her, slack jawed and quiet.

"Were you this speechless when Dustil was born?"

He glanced up at her sardonically. "When Dustil was born I was on a strike with my squadron."

The awkward silence reminded her why she was here letting him know she was pregnant eight months after the fact, why her lightsaber was buried underneath her layers of clothing.

And that definitely isn't funny.

"Where is Dustil, anyways?" Carth murmured.

"Giving a girl a ride to Coruscant."

The pilot's eyebrow rose. "A girl?"

"Tenacious little blonde. I think she's afraid of me."

He laughed, reaching out with his hand to touch her chin, her temple, her hair. "I wouldn't blame her."

She fingered the insignia on his uniform; the clean lines of the Republic Fleet.

"What the hell am I doing?" he wondered aloud, shaking his head and giving her a rakish grin.

"This…this is…great. Wonderful. I couldn't think of a better way for you to come back, gorgeous." His hands were on her stomach but his lips were on her face.

Celyn had a sudden kicking fit, like Carth was invading her personal space.

"Whoa. That…takes me back," he murmured unsteadily.

Katrina touched his cheek softly. "I'm sure she's wondering why my heart's suddenly beating a lot faster."

"She?" Carth said, hands inspecting her bellybutton like it might confirm the information.

"Celyn."

"Celyn…" he repeated skeptically, kneeling slightly to listen to her abdomen.

She smiled, unable to ignore Lovesick Padawan Katrina's joy that the scene she had idly dreamed of during the Star Forge months was real and happening before her eyes. Carth Onasi loved her, she was about to have a child and they would raise it together-

But Lovesick Padawan Katrina was not her real name. Her real name was Revan. And Revan was happy with the scene too, but she understood how things worked and the truth about this moment.

That it couldn't last.

"Carth…We found something out there...something else was behind the Mandalorian Wars…"

"That's a swift change of subject," he said, still chuckling softly against her stomach.

She fumbled for words, trying to remind herself of the speech she had been preparing since Chael, wondering if it could wait until later, until after Celyn was born.

No. If she didn't tell him now, she never would, which meant she would never go. She would crawl back inside the life of Lovesick Padawan Katrina, who was willing to let people call her Revan but unwilling to take on the responsibility that came with it.

Her usual eloquence failed her and she doggedly tried to plow ahead.

"There's something I'm going to have to do someday…And I can't take you, or Dustil, or Celyn with me…I can't take anyone I love-"

Carth Onasi looked up at her sharply. He sighed, standing up straight. His hands gently massaged her shoulders.

"Somehow, Revan, I think I know what you're going to say."

FIN