It echoed through the halls of the Hellsing Estate.

I WAS HUMAN ONCE!

Integra looked up from her paperwork, pushing her glasses back up her nose and setting her cigar in the everpresent ashtray.

I was human once! It reverbrated through her mind.

I was, wasn't I? Before I killed my uncle. Before I became the Master of the Monster. Before the weight of responsibility for the lives and souls of my fellow Britons came to rest squarely on my shoulders.

I was human once.

She rose from her desk and walked to the balcony, looking out over the estate as the sun settled against the horizon.

I ran through the estate, playing hide and seek with Walter, teasing my daddy when he had a moment to breathe between emergencies. I was a sprite in the flowers, a smile on the run.

And now? Now I can't be merely human. I can't have the same freedoms, the same lack of worry. I can't even have the choices that are what make us human. I don't have choices, I have responsibility.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

I was human once!

Seras froze in the middle of swabbing out the barrel of her Harkonnen. She looked around quickly for the source of the cry, but it seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere.

I was human once.

She glanced over at the picture of her father. He watched over her in her otherwise grim room.

I was human not so long ago. I was everyone's Kitten, no matter how I tried to prove myself. Everyone underestimated me. Even the men on my squad, even though they all knew that it was no cakewalk to get that assignment.

I was human once.

And what did I have? A few friends, now dead. A tiny apartment, now abandoned. And work. I thought it was important work, but I didn't know how insignificant it was in comparison to the real work of protecting humanity.

Now I have the assurance that I stand between humans and damnation. I have companions in my battle that I will honor and remember long after they are dust.

I may not be human, but the choices I make now affect humanity for the better.

I don't regret it.

I was human once!

Walter stopped in his tracks. Was that conscience or something else?

I was human once.

He took off his monocle and ran a hand over his eyes.

Before Poland. Before the wires. Before Hellsing. I was just my mother's son, I was an innocent. I loved watching fish dart under the water in the stream near our home. I loved lying on my back staring at the clouds.

And then the Germans changed everything. My life for so long was the wires and blood and fighting and I loved it. I loved the excitement. I loved the challenge and I loved knowing that I was protecting some other son's mother the way my mother was not.

I haven't been human in a very long time, but soon I'll go to that most human of endings.

It has been worth it.

I was human once!

Alucard sat in his chair, "his throne" Integra called it. Head in hands, his cry returned to its creator.

I was human once.

Memories. Human memories. They are the only thing in my life that I can't find some amusement in. I can find humor in my servitude. I can find amusement in taunting my Master and in making her wonder who really is the Master. I can take pleasure in having the paladin skewer me with a dozen blades.

But my human memories bring me no pleasure. I do not want them. I do not want to remember when the sun felt warm and nurturing on my skin. I do not want to remember the dedication and glory I felt in God. I do not want to remember compassion and companionship and love.

He wiped the bloody tracks from his face.

I do not want to remember this!