An Irken Christmas

Chapter One What is this "Christmas"?

"And that is why we have Christmas," croaked Mrs. Bitters. Dib raised his hand. "What Dib? No, there weren't any aliens there."

"But how do you know the angels weren't aliens in disguise?" Dib pressed.

"You're crazy," Jessica, the blonde girl jeered, as everyone agreed.

"So, Zim," Dib said, leaning over to his nemesis, "Do they have Christmas on your planet?"

"Uh... Why... yes.. Yes we do. We always have your... Earth ceremonies of the bringing of gold and other various EARTH SCUM INVENTORY! to little--erm... worm babies.

Dib narrowed his eyes and Zim's pathetic recreation of Christmas and said, "See?! He doesn't even know what Christmas is!"

"At least he doesn't fill it with Big Foot and Sasquatch!" One of the students shouted out.

"Those are the same things," Dib blinked.

"Well you would know..."
The door suddenly slammed open, and a silence fell over the classroom as soon as everyone saw Gaz and heard the ominous thunder that followed, "Dad wants you home early on Christmas. He just called and I'm telling you because I don't want to forget while you're off doing... Whatever you do. So don't go hunting the Abominable Snowman... or Chickenfoot, or whatever."

"Chickenfoot isn't real!" Dib cried out.

"Then why were you chasing him, stupid?" Gaz said as a closing and walked off.

Dib muttered something under his breath and then noticed Zim who was staring intently at the door. Yes, that was what Dib was doing, "Can't wait to get out of school to work on your latest plan to destroy the Earth, alien?"

"Don't be silly... I love the Earth! See my Earth flag?" Zim pulls an Earth flag out of his desk then waves it around.

"Wow cool!" Keef commented as Zim smirked.

"See? I am a normal Earth child, NOT AN ALIEN!" he boomed, in his Irken invader voice.

"Then how do you explain your dog?! He answers the door, and he doesn't even bark! He walks on his hind-legs like a human!"

"Well, so do I, but you're calling me an alien," he grinned cleverly.

"But you are an alien! Your skin is green!"

"Actually it's a disease called Lepopratic, which is a very mild version of leprosy." A small girl's voice chimed in as everyone looked to the back where she sat. She would be only slightly taller than Zim, and her hair was a bright pink, her skin pale, and with the slightest, greenish tint, that even Dib couldn't notice it, "Not as deadly or contagious, it just.. basically turns your skin green." Therefore, Dib was now, officially crazy.

"What?! But he is an alien... I've seen him!" Dib retorted at her.

"I AM NOT AN ALIEN!!" Zim boomed, once again, in his invader voice.

The bell rang after that, and no further arguments aroused, since Dib stood up to confront Zim, but got ran over by everyone as they ran out of the jail, known as school. Even Zim got to step onto the big-headed boy, even if he hardly weighed anything. Dib growled and chased Zim out of the school, "I know your secret..."

"What secret? I have no secrets."

"You're an alien!!!" Dib shouted, getting many strange looks from other students.

"Come on, stupid, it's time to go, and it looks like it's going to snow again... It's freezing out here," Gaz glared at her brother.

"You'll see, Zim..." Dib closed as Gaz dragged him away.

"No, Dib... You will be the one who sees! I shall rain Christmassy doom upon your big, pathetic head!" Zim spit out, and started to laugh maniacally.

Gaz and Dib's footsteps echoed in the empty town as they walked home.

"Dib, I don't know why you always have to start with Zim, but you better not go crazy at dinner at Christmas, because if you do, do you know how horrible and utterly doomed your life will be?"

"Um... Could you make a comparison?" Dib queries, almost afraid to look up at his scary sister.

"It's too awful to compare your doom with anything... Remember what I said... And don't bug me at all."

"But--" The door was slammed in Dib's face as he realized that they had reached their house. The lock clicked. Gaz had locked him out, and it was freezing. He sighed and walked down the street, noticing that new girl on the other side, he shouted over, "Hey! Why did you have to do that?"

"Do what?" She asked.

"Defend Zim... He's an alien you know..."

She looks around, slightly rolling her eyes, "No he's not... He just has that minor leprosy thing..."

"That is such a lie! How come I've never heard of it then?"

"Because it's very rare and they want to keep it under wraps so no one will question it... It's not serious or anything.. it's just--"

"I can't believe you're taking his side! What about the ears? He has no ears!"

She shrugs, "Maybe that's part of it too... I haven't looked into that much," and with that she walked off, to her house, which was only a few houses down from Dib's, and across the street.

Gaz stood at the doorway, "Why do you have to be my brother? What did you do that for?"

"He's an alien! I bet she is, too! She was defending him, Gaz! Even you should know that Zim is an alien! He is!"

"Dib..." she took a bite out of her ham sandwich, "Zim's not an alien... Even I know that... Even Keef knows that... And Keef's pretty stupid."

"But that's why you wouldn't think he was an alien!" Dib immediately regretted saying that.

Gaz spit out a piece of her sandwich, "Are you saying I'm stupid?"

"No..." Dib started to back away.

"Listen to me Dib, I don't want you... doing that thing..."

"What thing?" He asked, still backing into the street.

"That thing, where you try to think Zim's an alien... It's annoying. Just. Stop."

"But--" The door slammed once more, making Dib jump. The lock clicked. Dib walked down the street, towards Zim's house to be.. his annoying self... Disobeying Gaz's orders.

Gaz finished her sandwich as she went upstairs and jumped onto her bed, pulling out a small, violet book.

"Dear book," she wrote, "I really hate Christmas. Dib's just as annoying as ever and Dad's finally coming home for about an hour to eat with us... Unless he has to do something." Her hand writing was incredibly neat, and in cursive, not the type of handwriting you might expect her to have. "He usually makes us say something, like something we lied about... I really hate it sometimes when he visits at Christmas, but I like it better when we go to the Piggy place.. Dib doesn't get that I'd rather spend time with Dad than go 'alien hunting.' Dad doesn't even believe in that stuff, so why does he do it? I really hate living here, but I probably write that a lot. I think after Christmas I'm leaving... I don't know where I'm going, but one thing is for sure.... Zim is definitely an alien, so maybe he'll help."