Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters belong to Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu, and probably others I've forgotten to mention. This fic is not for profit, just for fun.
Rating: R (crude language, discussion of sexual situations)
Genre: fluff, comedy, getting together
Pairings: 1x2 by the end!
Spoilers: well, heero, duo, and relena lived through both wars, okay? :D
Warning: egregious abuse of stereotypes…again? I'm sorry for the spontaneous melodrama!!! :DD but sorry, no lemon!
beta: trixie
NEVER KISSED A GIRL
Chapter 6
As I'd been told that I was more than likely incompetent at it, I was given a crash course in wooing by Professor Peacecraft. She assured me that she was well-versed in the matter. Who was I to disagree?
I was Heero Fucking Yuy, that's who.
Give him chocolates, she said. To which Duo responded with a delighted laugh and a cheerful "thanks" but not much more. Who knew that a hockey puck shaped chocolate wasn't romantic?
Give him exotic candies, she said. To which Duo responded with a massive hive break out. Allergies were something that had never really come up during the war.
Compliment him on his appearance, she said. To which Duo responded with a skeptical look and a raised middle finger. How was I supposed to know that "your hair is less frizzy today" was not a compliment?
Buy him flowers, she said. To which Duo responded with a startled yelp and a nightmare about pointy, man-eating plants. The flower lady had told me that Birds of Paradise were manly flowers, but apparently they were a little too manly.
Buy him a balloon bouquet, she said. To which Duo responded by giving them away, one by one, to little kids he met on the street. Endearing, but not the reaction I was aiming for.
Create a romantic setting, she said. Open doors for him, pay for dinner, she said. And I learned that Duo did not like the scent of lavender candles, nor did he suitably appreciate having doors held for him, and that, if you tried to stop him, he'd fight like the dickens to pay the bill. Even in the classiest restaurant on the colony.
Articles of clothing, stuffed animals, fruits, pastries, cookie bouquets, little love notes written on steamy bathroom mirrors, all to no avail!
Then again, perhaps the scarf had been a little bit weird. Relena had said they made sweet gifts, but I hadn't really taken into account the fact that L4 was on its summer cycle.
The plushie bat that reminded me of Deathscythe Hell was, admittedly, not very cute. I mean, it didn't exactly make me want to hug it and snuggle it. I don't know; it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The mangosteen was met with confusion, the baklava devoured too quickly (midnight runs to the drug store were ever so fun), the cookie bouquet was donated to the hotel staff, and the little love notes on the steamy mirror melted away before he had a chance to really see them ("Daoism your friend" was what he'd made of one, and so, after his own shower, he wrote: "Catholicism your father" in response).
And, as to Relena's increasingly bold suggestions, discreetly trying to hold his hand as we were walking home from the theatre got me a black eye and a sprained shoulder. Thought I was a pickpocket. He said.
Relena answered the phone on the first ring.
"So? Did you hook up yet?" she said by way of greeting.
I rolled my eyes at her. "If this had been your mother calling, you would have been sorry," I said.
She gave me one of her signature haughty looks. "If it had been my mother calling," she said in her affected upper class accent, "I would have been more than sorry, I'd have been shocked dead seeing as Mrs. Peacecraft has been deceased for 24 years."
I stuck my tongue out at her.
"I'm going to tell Mrs. Darlian about this!"
"Go ahead! She'd get a giggle out of it!"
Sighing, I realized, perhaps belatedly, that I was never going to win with Relena. Somehow, the damn girl was always one step ahead of me.
"So? Answer my question! Have you and Duo hooked up yet?" she asked eagerly.
"Well," I paused to think about my situation. "How can I tell if we've hooked up? I mean, what does that mean?"
"Have you had sex?"
"No."
"Have you kissed? Groped each other? Heavy petting?"
"No."
"Held hands?"
"No."
"Then you haven't 'hooked up'. Still just friends," she said in conclusion.
"Maybe we're a little more than friends?" I asked hopefully.
She shook her head, 'no'. "I don't think so," she said.
That was utterly demoralizing.
"But I did all the things we talked about and I still don't think Duo is getting the picture."
I didn't like whining, but I was tired and desperate, and I just wanted him to like me but he wasn't cluing in.
Relena growled in frustration.
"Have you tried pushing him?" she asked, exasperated.
"Pushing?"
"You know, shoving him. In elementary school, the teachers said that if a boy pushed you down on the playground, it was because he liked you."
Well that couldn't be true. Clearly I'd already pushed him down lots and he'd done the same to me. Sports and playful wrestling aside, we'd tried to kill each other more than once. Surely physical contact wasn't a good signifier of liking someone.
I mean, what did that say about my feelings for all those OZ soldiers I'd had to "immobilize"?
And actually, I didn't think I'd touched Duo once since discovering my feelings for him.
I was very, very confused.
"Heero?" Relena interrupted my musings. "What's with that expression on your face?"
"We shove each other around a lot, all the time actually. How will he be able to tell it's because I like him now?"
"Try shoving him onto a bed?" she suggested.
"Ninmu ryokai."
"What? Stop pretending you speak archaic languages, you poser. What did that mean? Heero? Heero!"
I left her on the phone and ran through to the bedroom.
Duo was standing in the doorway, pulling on a hooded sweatshirt.
I basically barreled into him, picked him up and threw him onto the nearest double bed.
He laughed and reached for a pillow to hit me with, but I preempted his attack by jumping on top of him, straddling his hips and grabbing a wrist in each hand to pin him down. I leaned in close, almost nose-to-nose, and I waited.
I could tell he was shocked.
And I could tell the exact moment when he realized I wasn't playing anymore.
"Heero—"
I kissed him.
It wasn't as sexy as I'd imagined. For one thing, he was completely not participating. But it was sweet and it was soft, and I knew that this was what I wanted, what I'd been looking for all this time. It was someone who could be my best friend. It was someone who understood me. It was someone who knew me. It was…Just Right.
Then, when he started kissing me back it was all about the hard, long-limbed, lithe-muscled body beneath me.
I leaned in harder, pushed the kiss farther, deeper, and I didn't think I ever wanted to breathe again.
Duo, though, had to pull back to gasp for air.
Guess I had the superior lung capacity. Go me!
But now I could see an uncertainty in his eyes that baffled me. How could he be so dense? I was blatantly, outright, clear as day, showing him how I felt. What was there to be uncertain about? What was with that look?
"Why did you kiss me, Heero?"
Arg! How could he ask that? How many reasons could I possibly have for kissing him now after ten years of a vague friendship? Could I be anymore obvious? Relena was on crack. This was clearly not working either. At this point I'd have to say that she was not the foremost authority on wooing people.
"Answer my question, Yuy," said Duo, and he repeated himself, slower this time.
"I wanted to. I like you. You feel nice. Like this," I babbled, unsure of how to explain what I was feeling.
Duo rolled his eyes at me and tried to laugh it off. He started trying to buck me off, but I held him firm. Even though he was taller, I would always have body mass over him.
We stared at each other for a minute, maybe two. Eye to eye, nose to nose, and kiss-bruised lips gently parted oh-so-close to the other's.
"I don't want to be a stop on the penis tour, Heero," he said, breaking the silence. "I've already done the free-love thing and now I'm old and cranky. I don't want to be anyone's fuck buddy, or booty call; it's not worth my time and someone always gets hurt. I don't want that someone to be you, and I really don't want that someone to be me. I don't want to change the relationship between us--and believe me, us sleeping together will change it-- because I like the friendship we have now. But most of all, boy-o, I don't want us to have sex just because Relena told you to."
I waited while he caught his breath. There was a lot of information in that little tirade and I needed a moment myself.
"Get off, Heero." He sounded resigned.
I responded by pushing him harder into the bed.
"You wouldn't be a stop on the penis tour. We don't need to sleep together. I'm not looking for a fuck, not right now, not tomorrow, not until we're ready. I want our relationship to change and I've been trying to change it for the past week. Did you not notice me trying to chase you?"
He blinked at me.
"The chocolates, the candies, the compliments the flowers, the balloons, the scented candles, opening doors, paying for dinner, buying you items of clothing, does any of this ring a bell? What did you think I was trying to do?" I asked, frustration colouring my tone of voice.
He blinked at me some more.
I levered myself off him, moving to stand back away from the bed in the process.
"I'm stating right here, right now, I like you, Duo Maxwell, and I would like to pursue a boyfriend-boyfriend relationship with you, hopefully long-term. Do you, or do you not accept?"
I actually stamped my foot.
He appeared to think about it for a minute, sitting up on the bed and straightening his hair to buy himself time.
"Would you still be my friend if I said 'no', Heero?" he asked, peering at me through the curtain of his bangs.
"Yes."
Of this I was Quite Certain.
He gave me a lopsided grin, which I returned easily. We understood each other.
"Let me think about it?"
I nodded, hardly daring to breathe.
And then he walked out of the hotel room.
I was stunned.
And so I gave chase.
I saw the tail end of him (and I couldn't help but smirk at that observation) as he disappeared into the elevator.
By the time I burst into the lobby, he was long gone. Damn that idiot and his speedy little spindly legs.
Well, no, they're quite nice legs, really.
Long.
Good definition.
I kind of wanted to kiss his knees. Ankles?
Let's face it, I wanted to kiss every part of him.
Now if only I could find the bastard.
Figuring he probably wanted to be alone, I exited the hotel and began scanning the streets for the telltale whip of braided hair.
He was actually not that far away.
I found him standing on a pedestrian overpass about a block from the hotel. He was leaning against the railing on folded arms, staring down at the traffic disappearing beneath his feet.
It was a busy road, but a straight one, so cars tended to speed along it. From this angle, it was rather dizzying.
We stood together, shoulder to shoulder for a few minutes, a comfortable silence between us.
"You be blue, I'll be red, first one to 15 wins."
I had resolved to be understanding but firm, flexible but assertive, patient but insistent in the face of his resistance. I ended up just staring at him, complete confusion written all over my face.
He pointed down at the cars passing through. "You count blue, I'll count red. First one to 15 wins."
"What's the prize?" I asked.
He stared at me.
"Oh."
We turned to the road, craning our necks, searching the six-lane highway for our designated colours. He assured me that purple did not count as blue. I told him in no uncertain terms that pink did not count as red. We both resolved not to count decals, stripes, rims and what-not.
"…Twelve…thirteen!" I crowed with glee as I finally managed to tie it up.
"Fourteen," he counted, not a second later.
My knuckles felt tight and sore, I was gripping the rail so hard. My heart was pounding and I wondered if Duo could hear it. I hadn't felt such queasy nervousness since my first time in a mobile suit.
I looked over at Duo and I could see a look of such exhilaration on his face. The idiot was actually enjoying himself! I couldn't believe he was getting such a rush out of this when I was ready to throw up.
Then he grinned at me and I couldn't help but grin back.
"Fourteen!" I screamed, barely stopping myself from jumping up and down and pointing.
Lord only knew what the people driving below would have thought of that.
Then suddenly I wasn't looking at blue cars anymore. Instead, I was lost in a pair of blue, blue eyes. My breath caught, but it didn't matter because Duo was kissing me and that alone would have stolen my breath away in any other situation.
Just a gentle press of his lips to mine and I fairly melted. It was even better than the writhing, grinding, tongue-licking kiss we'd shared in the hotel room.
And when he withdrew, I actually pouted.
Out of the corner of my eye, though, I thought I saw a little maroon sports car zipping off into the distance.
I started to turn to get a better look, but Duo's hand on my cheek kept my eyes on him.
"So," Duo spoke quietly, keeping his lips within easy kissing distance. "How much holiday you got left?"
I touched my lips to his before speaking: "I'm sure I can get another week out of Relena."
"Good."
I nodded. Yes, it was very good indeed.
Four hours later I was able to call Relena and conclusively report that Mission Masturbation Supplementation was successfully completed. And I'd be damned but she really actually wanted details.Like as in DETAILS.
Duo elected that moment to give her a visual demonstration.
Relena gave me another two weeks of paid vacation time.
None of us had ever seen Little Heero so happy.
END!
NOTES:
thank you, EVERYONE, for reading and liking this fic! I never dreamed it would be so well-received! embarrassed I'm amazed and thankful and very very appreciative for all the feedback and comments y'all have given me I only hope the last chapter lived up to expectations :) thank you, thank you, again, everyone :D
Ashen Skies: oh I'm glad you think I got Heero's pov! it is really hard to decide how to play him. sometimes you think he'd never do this random quirkiness, but then sometimes you think, well, he's probably quite silly underneath that scowl. :DD but then the comedy comes from his "seriousness", right? (that's conceited of me… haha!) anyways, thanks for liking the pacing (I was worried) and thanks for taking the time to comment!
stylishkiller: as you can see, this chapter was all about duo! :D I hope you liked it and that it didn't disappoint! hopefully the melodrama and pseudo-angst wasn't too spontaneously OOC! but I just wanted to throw that bit with the cars in :D I'm glad you liked my characterizations in general! thank you for liking and thank you for commenting on all the chapters! I'm sooo flattered! :DD
Yasei Raiden: aww!! I'm glad you like the fic then! :DD hopefully this last chapter didn't disappoint! I'm so happy the previous chapter made you laugh! this fic is all about giving people the giggles! :DD again, thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment. :)
priscel: haha! I'm not evil! fics gotta end some time, right? :DD but honestly, the fic's not that good, so hahaha!! well, I hope you liked the end! :)
amytiger: thank you for reading and taking the time to comment! :D
Silver Cateyes: Well, I hope this last chapter didn't disappoint! i hope it's not too sudden or too spontaneously fake angsty. :DD I don't know when duo discovered he like heero, but suspect he kind of had it niggling in the back of his mind all along. I mean, I'm pretty sure Little Duo knew what he wanted, just like Little Heero did. ;)
arrghigiveup: haha! glad you liked the chapter! making people laugh is what I love! :DD