A/N: This is just a sappy little shounen-ai (sort of) Truten fic, written for The Vault's songfic contest and dedicated to all my fellow Pervs. Major shouts out to Raven for beta-ing, and to Nalan Li for inspiring me to write this fic months ago in the first place. They're two of the biggest Truten fans I know. Thank you!
I had much fun writing it, since it's a lot lighter than my norm, so enjoy!
New A/N (12/31/04): This thing's been on Mediaminer for over a year - pre-Raven's Gundam awakening if you can believe that, LOL! - but it's still just obscure enough that I think a lot of folks haven't read it. If you have read it on , feel free to reread this slightly tweaked version. And if you haven't, I hope you enjoy my little ficlet.
Oh yeah, and there's a small progress report on my other yaoi fic, The Claim of Princes, at the end of this. If you're interested, check that out too (or first, or only...whatever you wanna do.)
Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue; the characters aren't mine, so please don't sue!
All You Wanted by Pareathe
(originally posted on April 11, 2003)
I wanted to be like you, I wanted everything
So I tried to be like you, and I got swept away
There he is, walking out the glass double-doors like the poster boy of corporate excellence. One hand's stuffed into the pocket of pleated grey slacks while the other slips on a pair of nondescript sunglasses before moving inside his sport coat. He stops amid the flow of bodies moving like a swarm out of the skyscraper which houses Capsule Corporation's business office and turns his back to the wind. He brushes a few stubborn lavender strands out of his face, nodding occasionally as someone pats him on the back or calls out a greeting I can't hear from my place at the bottom of the steps.
He'd probably blend in perfectly with all those suit-and-tie guys rushing home at the end of the day except for one crucial detail. He's a prince, and you don't have to know his father or his heritage to figure it out.
Everything about him screams royalty: he keeps his back straight even when he's bowing his head; a change in his expression can make his subordinates go from slacking around the water cooler to working their asses off for him in an instant. Best of all, they all look at him like he hung the moon, no matter what he does.
I guess I can't really blame them. He's been hanging mine since I was two.
Damn, he must've had a bad day. Combat of the boardroom variety's the only thing which stresses him out so much that he takes advantage of the cigarette machine in the lobby. Guess it's lucky what's-her-name cancelled on me after all.
It's the biggest difference between him and me. He doesn't even have to try, and all the women surround him - some more discreetly than others - just waiting for the day when he'll be ready to turn in his bachelorhood and inaugurate a princess into the Brief hierarchy.
I didn't know that you were so cold, and
You needed someone to show you the way
For me, keeping a roster of possible bridal candidates takes a hell of an effort. But hey, anything to keep Mom off my back and him from having one up on me. Not that I'm competing with him; I couldn't even if I wanted to. Which, oddly enough, I don't. I've never wanted to be better than Trunks at anything. When I was a kid, I always told him I was gonna be stronger and faster than him, but we both knew it wasn't true. More than anything, I just wanted to be with him, even if it meant walking a step behind all the time. Honestly, it's hard to really appreciate the moon if it's not above you.
Halfway down the steps he pauses, tilting his head down and peering over the tops of the dark lenses. Then he grins and tosses the cigarette down, crushing it out with the toe of his shoe. It's kinda funny to see the cluster of women a few feet in front of me start giggling and nudging each other as he starts taking the remaining steps in twos.
Sorry ladies, but that one's reserved. Maybe next time, neh? It's bound to happen eventually - sooner rather than later if Bulma-san has her way about it - the day I see that same mischievous smile given to someone other than me.
It's funny, the way those girls lunge at him only to be pushed through with little more than vague acknowledgment. I think every one of them got at least two inches shorter when he blew them off. Hm, I guess they were all standing on their tippy-toes.
So I took your hand, and we figured out that
When the tide comes, I'll take you away
Damned shame really, to think of all the phone numbers he just turned down. But they'll be there again tomorrow, so I guess it doesn't really matter in the long run. I flash a smile of my own at them for good measure, then turn my attention to him.
"So how's life at the office, Mister President?"
He snorts and throws an arm over my shoulder as we step onto the sidewalk, seemingly oblivious to the jealous glares and whispers I hear coming from the ranks of the recently rejected behind us. "Fuck you. At least I'm not a slacker."
"I'm not a slacker," I protest in my most offended tone, which is as severely lacking as ever. "I just haven't found my niche yet."
"The technical term is Chronically Unemployed," he answers with a laugh. "I'll trade ya. You can play referee to a bunch of old geezers bitching back and forth across a table, and I'll sit on my ass and eat Cheetos all day."
"Hold on. Whatever you may think of me, you better leave the Cheetos out of it."
"Yeah, yeah, God forbid if someone dares to insult food in front of a Son."
"Damn straight," I answer, followed almost immediately by a loud grumble from below. I chuckle and rub the back of my neck before I even realize what I'm doing. "Speaking of food..."
"You're so much like Goku sometimes it's fucking scary, you know that?" Then he throws me a smirk that'd make Vegeta proud. "Then again, Chichi would probably eat her frying pan before she let you be as dense as your dad, am I right?"
If you want to, I can save you
I can take you away from here
"Now who's acting like his father?"
He nods, his pastel locks falling into his face again. "You know how His Royal Tightass is. The best way to gauge his affection is by counting how many times he insults a person in a single day."
True enough. "So if it's really "Like father, like son," does that mean I shouldn't take it personally when you put me down?" Naturally the question's more rhetorical than anything. Since I wasn't really expecting a response, his breath tickling my ear all of a sudden catches me off-guard and makes me shiver.
"Absolutely. I always mean it in the" - his voice drops to a purr - "best possible way."
Strange, I get the feeling I'm missing something important.
My stomach growls again, bringing an end to our banter. He stops and raises an eyebrow at me. "So now I have to wonder if you didn't just show up today so I'd buy you a meal."
"Nope, I was actually supposed to meet someone, but she cancelled at the last minute. Since I was already in the neighborhood..." I shrug, letting the rest go.
"So that's what happened," he mumbles. If I didn't know better, I'd almost think that was a flash of disappointment I saw. Eh, it was probably just a shadow or something. He looks normal now, and he gives my shoulder a squeeze.
"Ah well, I'll take you however I can get you."
So lonely inside, so busy out there
And all you wanted was somebody who cares
Whoa. I mean, I know we haven't been hanging out like we used to, especially now that he's taken over the bulk of the load at Capsule Corps., but still. I'm getting that feeling I had a second ago ballooning in my gut again, telling me something's bothering him, just like when we were kids. Or it could just be because I haven't eaten since lunch.
"C'mon, you act like you haven't seen me in months!" I elbow him in the ribs to punctuate the point.
"It would've been three months next week." I'd probably think Trunks was pulling my leg except for the dead serious expression on his face. Only a second passes before his features soften and he ruffles my hair. "But it doesn't matter now. So what'd you say we get a shit load of take-out, and head to that lake by your house?"
It's been ages since we've done that, and if we hurry, we may even make it before the sun sets. "Sounds like a plan to me, so long as you're buying."
"Of course," he agrees matter-of-factly. "Don't I always take care of you?"
Interesting choice of words, though I can't say I mind hearing them. Considering how many people are constantly clambering for a moment with Brief Trunks, I guess I'm pretty lucky to be one of the few people who actually gets him, even if it's only for a little while.
It's not the same thing as a date, but this'll be more fun anyway, and a hell of a lot cheaper!
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I'm sinking slowly, so hurry, hold me
Your hand's all I have to keep me hanging on
If someone had asked me a year ago whether there would ever come a day when I'd be damned glad to fill the role as Goten's backup date, I'd have laughed, then punched the poor bastard. Oh sure, my mom gave me the whole "Everyone grows apart..." speech once I took her place at Capsule Corps., but did I listen? Of course not. I am my father's son after all. Goten and I had spent most of our lives together; it was always him and me, me and him, one a natural extension of the other. It never occurred to me things might change, but now the jury's in. For all the times I ragged my best friend about taking after his father, it looks like I'm the real idiot.
It's not even the job, though it does give me a convenient excuse. No, the real problem is I expected Goten to just...know. He may never be as brainy as his older brother, but dammit, he's supposed to know me! That's why I took it for granted Goten'd be able to figure it all out before I had to actually say anything. I told him when we were still trouble-making little brats that I'd always take care of him, that I wanted us to be together no matter what. Leave it to a Son to not take a declaration like that seriously.
Adding insult to injury, my father warned me this would happen. Just like my mom told me Goten and I would probably lose touch, Dad actually spared a few minutes the very same day and advised me to get off my sorry ass and make Goten my mate before everything got too complicated. In other words, force him to discover his Saiyajin self before he fully discovered humans of the opposite sex.
Even though I should be used to it by now, I still hate it when my father's right.
Now look where I am. Sprawled out beside him after stuffing ourselves with Chinese just like when we were kids, trying to act like nothing's changed. Not very princely, let alone Saiyajin of me, I admit. And if I'm really trying to act my part, shouldn't I just say "To hell with it!" and tell Goten flat-out I'm in love with him and can't picture spending my life with anyone but him?
You know, irony can be a real bitch sometimes.
Please, can you tell me, so I can finally see
Where you go when you're gone
It used to be so easy to just be with Goten, but now the silence is killing me. I want to hear his voice and see him look at me the way he used to, with that goofy grin and those wide loving eyes. The way he did back when he thought I hung the moon.
At this point anything's better than nothing. I've had nothing for too long. "So how's your mom? Still badgering you about settling down?"
There's that smile, lighting up his whole face. "Oh yeah. She even asked Videl to introduce me to some of the rich girls she knows." He snickers. "I guess she thinks I can't find a decent one of my own."
"So she's still hung up on the money, eh?" Figures.
"Well, you know my mom," he answers with a shrug. "She's always wanted me and Gohan to have what she didn't. Lucky for me, Dad told me not to worry about it too much."
I roll my eyes and laugh. "Of course he'd say that. He doesn't worry about anything unless it's about to blow up the planet."
"But he was serious this time." Goten's brow creases in thought. "It was kinda weird really. He said I shouldn't push myself to find a wife with a lot of money just to make Mom happy since..."
I don't think I'll ever get used to the way Goten looks when he's really thinking about something. "What? What'd he say?"
If you want to, I can save you
I can take you away from here
Even in this dim light I can see a faint blush spread across his cheeks, and he glances down. "Because he said you already promised to take care of me."
Proving once again either: a) my father's been bitching to Goku during their spars, or b) Goku's had another one of his atypical moments of insight. No wonder my dad thinks he fakes his idiocy. But a promise is a promise, and it's one I always intended to keep, even if Goten didn't realize it when I made it. So why shouldn't I tell him so? What's the worst that can happen? It's not like I'll be losing much, even if he thinks I'm some kind of demented pervert for being in love with him all these years.
Then again, I might not be risking much, but when I think about the possibility of losing him, really losing him... No, the price is too high. Besides, I'd have done it years ago if I wasn't such an arrogant moron, thinking he'd always be with me just because it had always been that way.
"You okay?"
I jerk myself out of my reverie and nod. "Yeah, sorry about that."
His onyx gaze searches mine for several seconds before he frowns. "Seriously, what's wrong? And don't give me that "Nothing" bullshit either." He leans closer to me and flashes that beautiful Son smile again. "You've been my best friend my whole life, so you can't fool me like everyone else. So what is it? Is work stressing you out, or is it something else?"
So lonely inside, so busy out there
And all you wanted was somebody who cares
"Nah, work's okay. I'm starting to get used to it, I guess, and it's less stressful than being at home these days."
"So my mom's not the only one itching for a wedding, eh?"
He has no idea. "That's the understatement of the year. If it weren't for my father, she'd have already married me off so I could produce an heir to the Capsule Corps. empire by now."
He chokes. "No shit?"
Should I tell him my mom's been on the phone with his every day for advice? Nah. Instead I laugh. "You kidding? A day doesn't go by when she doesn't tell me she wants me to meet somebody. Matter of fact," I add with a grin as I glance at my watch, "I'm supposed to be having dinner with some woman from Accounting right about now."
He blinks a few times. "Wait a minute. Then what the hell are you doing here? Dude, if I'd known you had a date tonight, I wouldn't have showed up like that! Why didn't you say anything?"
Damn it, Goten, why are you asking me something like that? Isn't it obvious? Even if you don't know how badly I want you, we're still friends, aren't we? Why the hell would I choose a blind date over hanging out with my best friend?
Shit, what am I thinking? Of course he wouldn't understand; he's Son Goten, Ladies Man nowadays. This isn't getting me anywhere, and Goten's starting to look worried. Half-truth's better than an all-out lie, right?
"I hate blind dates." I shrug and tug a rogue weed out of the ground, watching it as I roll it between my fingers so I don't have to look at his baffled expression. "I was planning to skip out anyway."
All you wanted was somebody who cares
When you need me, you know I'll be there...oh yeah
"Oh." After a moment he flashes me another grin. "Guess it doesn't matter for you. You've got em lined up around the block to marry you anyway, being the famous Brief Trunks and all."
"Yeah, that's what they tell me," I growl as I lie down, my head cushioned comfortably by the thick blanket of grass.
"You make it sound like a bad thing."
I close my eyes, taking several calming breaths before speaking again. "I guess you wouldn't understand." I keep the anger rising within me from being betrayed in my voice. "It sucks, having all these people acting like they know me just because they work for my company or read some ridiculous magazine article. I mean, I get fucking fan mail, for God's sake!"
"You...you get..." Before he finishes his sentence, he doubles over, laughing so hard I see tears forming in the corners of his eyes.
I can't believe this! This asshole actually thinks it's funny? "You're a shit, you know that?"
"I...I'm sorry, man," he manages out between peals of laughter and gasps for air. "It's...not funny really, but...it's just...thinking about you...getting fan mail...like some kind of movie star." He struggles with hysterics another minute before trying again. "Those girls really must not know shit about you if they're doing all that." He's still laughing, but he's calmed down enough to talk without choking. "Man, I could solve that problem for you, no sweat!"
"Oh really." I smirk at him just like my father would, my anger dispelled by his enthusiasm. "How would you manage to do that?"
"Just get someone to interview me sometime," he replies with a wink. "By the time I'm done telling them about the Trunks I know, you'd never have to worry about having fans ever again! You'd be back to being stuck with me all the time."
He may not know it, but hearing him say it like that... "I'd probably take you up on your offer if that were really true. But thanks anyway."
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If you want to, I can save you
I can take you away from here
See, I'm missing something again; Trunks is acting even weirder than before!
"What do you mean, if? Maybe if you weren't so popular, I wouldn't have to go out so much to keep myself busy," I answer, punching him softly in the arm.
I meant it as a joke, but he bolts back up, his expression as serious as I've ever seen it. "You're shitting me, right?"
Well, since he asked... But how do I explain this so he won't misunderstand and think I'm just a whacked-out perv? "Well, I guess I was sorta kidding about the popular part. I know it's your work that keeps you so busy-"
"Fuck work." His vehemence catches me off guard, but before I can respond, he says, "I can put in less hours anytime I want. The question is, would you make the time?"
Would I make the time? C'mon, who's supposed to be the idiot here? "Of course I would. You're my best friend! Besides," I continue with a laugh, "even if I spread a bunch of dirt around about you, there wouldn't be enough pages to tell them everything. I'm sure you'd still have plenty of girls beating down your door. Of course, none of em could ever know you as well as I do."
"Yeah," he replies, his face pensive, "I know."
I don't understand why he suddenly seems so depressed, but it's been too long since we've been together like this. I'm gonna cheer him up one way or another. "Eh, you shouldn't let it get you down, you know," I advise seriously. "I mean, it's not like any of the girls I go out with know the first thing about me either."
He raises an eyebrow at me, silently asking me to continue.
I shrug. "Sure, Gohan didn't have to worry about how Videl would react when they got together. Videl may not be one of us, but she was a fighter, and she knew before they ever went out something was different about him. By the time he had to sit down and explain things, he'd helped save the planet from Buu. What was she gonna do after something like that? Dump him?"
So lonely inside, so busy out there
And all you wanted was somebody who cares
He tilts his head, lavender strands mixing with blades of green. "You have a point there."
"And as for you, the girls wouldn't care if you were half-alien or all alien," I continue earnestly. "Gohan was a hero, and you're Brief Trunks, son of Bulma and heir to Capsule Corporation. But it's not like that for me. I can't offer a woman much of anything. All they get is me. I don't have anything else."
"You make that sound like it's a bad thing," he says, his blue eyes almost glow in this light as they bore into mine. "Like having you wouldn't be good enough."
I offer him a crooked smile. "You'd know that better than me. So what's the verdict? I leave it to you; am I worth all the trouble?"
He scowls like he's about to lay into me for saying something truly stupid, but his expression smooths, becoming a smile instead. Although genuine, it still screams, 'troublemaker!'
"I can't speak for anyone else, but" - his hand moves...toward my cheek? Nah, must be a trick of the shadows or something. He pauses before ruffling my hair - "you're worth it to me."
Now that's the Trunks I know. The one who always made me feel like his equal, even though he's a prince and I'm a pauper. When we're together like this, it's just like the old days; it reminds me how much I miss them. "Glad someone thinks so. Maybe you should tell that to my mother so she'll quit worrying so much."
"Like she'd really listen to me. Besides, Chichi wouldn't be Chichi if she wasn't freaking out about something, right?" He winks playfully.
"True." There's no denying the fact that my mom wouldn't be the same if she didn't worry. "I guess I have no choice then." I sigh before I realize what I'm doing. He raises an eyebrow as I jump up and throw my fist in the air. "Videl's rich and snobby friends, here I come!"
He swears and shakes his head while rubbing his eyes beneath a swaying curtain of lavender locks. "Just because she wants you to marry a girl with money doesn't mean you actually have to."
"Right again." What the hell; I couldn't do this with anyone but Trunks. I offer him a sly grin even though he probably can't see it in the dark. "Maybe I should find a man with money instead. Whatcha think?"
Before I have time to laugh at my own joke, he grabs the back of my shirt and yanks. The sudden move throws me off balance, and I end up flat on my back. Within a millisecond he's hovering over me. A hand guards either side of my head, and he holds me still with his eyes which seem to have developed an internal lamp, negating the need for any type of exterior light.
I swallow hard, shocked at how fast my heart's beating right now. I don't know what's happening here, but it's something major.
Please, can you tell me, so I can finally see
Where you go when you're gone
"Do it, and I'll never forgive you, Goten."
What'd I say? We used to joke like this all the time, and I know the idea itself doesn't offend him. At least it didn't when we were kids. Even though he sounded angry, his face...I don't know. The closest thing I can compare it to is a sad sort of longing, but that doesn't make any sense. I mean, what could he possibly want that he doesn't already have?
"I...I was kidding," I manage out despite the confusion which feels like a vice clenched around my throat. "I didn't really mean-"
"I know," he growls through clenched teeth. Then he takes a deep breath and looks away. "I know," he repeats, softer this time. "But you shouldn't joke about shit like that. Guy or girl, it doesn't matter. Nobody'd ever know you like I do, and they couldn't..." His voice trails off, and he gives his head another violent shake before he moves away, rolling onto his own back beside me and covering his face with his forearm. "Sorry. Forget I said anything. I don't know what the hell's wrong with me tonight."
That makes two of us, especially since he didn't finish what he was saying. I blink as the arm covering his eyes falls to the ground and I see a new look, this time one of determination, on his face.
"Just promise me something," he begins, looking over at me.
I nod, unable to respond with words or even hear myself think because of my pulse pounding in my ears. It's weird; almost like it's the first time I'm actually seeing him. I never realized just how-beautiful?-he is, especially in the moonlight.
"If you ever do decide to give up on finding a woman your mom would approve of, or if you get tired of looking for someone who'll love you whether you have stuff to give them or not," he hesitates for just a second, "I don't want you to go off and do something stupid. If it gets to that point, let me know first."
I'm not sure why, but... "Does this have something to do with what you were gonna tell me a minute ago?" Contrary to popular belief, my dad's not the only one who can follow his instincts when the occasion calls for it. I'm fairly sure this is one of those times.
My suspicion is confirmed when his eyes widen slightly. "Yeah, but I don't think now's the time. Not yet," he murmurs, almost as though he's talking more to himself than to me, "but maybe...maybe it'll be the right time sooner than I thought. For now, let's just plan on hanging out like this again soon, okay?"
None of this makes much sense to me, but it's obvious whatever's happened, it's made Trunks feel better. For the first time in a long time, he seems content. Serene even. Besides, if he says now's not the time, far be it for me to argue. Trunks has never steered me wrong before when it really counted.
"I'm free tomorrow," I reply with a smile. "What do you say? Meet you after work?"
He returns it with one of his own. "I'll be waiting."
So, feeling sure things are more normal between us now than they were when I met him at the bottom of the stairs at Capsule Corps. this afternoon, I do something I haven't done since we were The Terrible Two. I roll onto my side and rest my head on his shoulder. He glances down just as I look up, a mixture of surprise and insecurity distorting his smooth features, but they disappear almost immediately as he shifts slightly so he can wedge his arm more securely under my head.
Yeah, this is the way it should be, and who knows? I'm not sure how, but maybe someday we can forget all the other crap that's been thrown between us and just stay like we are right now, like we've been all our lives. Unbeatable, and inseparable.
Not that I'd actually tell him that. Not yet anyway.
End
Lyrics: All You Wanted by Michelle Branch
A/N #2: Whoops, almost forgot the Claim progress report! Okay, this is the deal: I'm doing a fairly thorough revision right now. I'm about half done. Once I finish that, I'll post up to the current chapter complete, and then I'll finish it in one shot. It may be a thirty or more page chapter, but that way it'll be done. I've actually started that "final" chapter, but I've got a ways to go. At any rate, that's where I'm at. That's probably not as good of news as my readers may have like, but at least now you know it's not totally forgotten. I'm working my way back, slowly but surely. Thanks for being so gracious; it means more than you know.