Note: typos that ladc pointed out in the review are now fixed!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Thunderbirds I'mjust borrowing them

AN: I want to thank ladc whose review inspired this story - "I think we know why John has such golden hair--he is an angel." Thanks! I'd also like to thank kelcb26 who inspired the scene in italics as she did a similiar thing in her Dawson's Creek story "Counting the Stars". Hope you Enjoy!

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye.

I've heard that saying countless of times from countless people in my short eighteen years. I've always dismissed it. My pranks were harmless, well except for maybe wounding someone's pride. At least I thought they were harmless. I had just found out otherwise this evening. I hadn't meant for anyone to get hurt least of all John.

I looked around the small private waiting room. Scott stood at the window, silently staring outside. He hadn't said anything to me since it had happened. He hadn't even attempted a lecture which in itself was a surprise. I would prefer the lecture to the silence treatment.

My eyes drifted from my older brother to my younger brother. Alan sat in the chair across from me. He looked up as I looked in his direction and our eyes met. I saw the sympathy in his eyes and was grateful. At least someone in my family didn't hate me.

I heard footsteps and looked toward the doorway of the room. Dad walked in with Virgil right behind him. My father , and Brains, had gone up to Thunderbird 5 to get him as soon as we had gotten John to the hospital. Brains was taking Virgil's place on the space station until we knew John was out of the woods.

"Any word yet, Scott?" Dad asked.

"No Dad, not yet," I heard Scott reply.

"I'm sorry, Dad," I said softly. " I didn't mean . . ."

"It doesn't matter if you meant it or not. We've told you before that you were going to hurt someone with your stupid pranks," Virgil said before I could even finish what I was trying to say. I could see the hatred in his eyes.

"Virgil," Dad said softly even as he walked in my direction.

"It's his fault we're here," Virgil said ignoring our father. I saw Scott move away from the window and start toward him. "It's his fault John could . . ."

"Virgil that's enough," Dad said sternly as he put a protective arm around my shoulder. It was a small consolation that Dad didn't seem to hate me either although I was sure a lecture would eventually come.

Scott had reached Virgil and went to pull him into a hug.

"Leave me alone," Virgil told him trying to push Scott away. Scott didn't let him though. Despite Virgil's resistance Scott put his arms around him and pulled him into a hug.

"Why John?" I heard him ask no one in particular, his voice muffled as Scott held him. "He doesn't deserve this. He's never done anything to anyone."

I hung my head. Virgil was absolutely right. The prank hadn't even been meant for John.

Earlier that day:

Alan and I had been playing cards in the den after lunch. I wasn't sure where anyone else was but the place was quiet for a change. So quiet that Scott's voice echoed as he came down the steps.

"Gordon," he called out not sounding at all happy.

"Yes?" I asked nonchalantly. I noticed that Scott was itching.

"Don't give me the innocent act," Scott told me as he walked over to where I was sitting. "I know it was you who put the itching powder in my shirts."

"I didn't . . ."

"I'm sick of the pranks Gordon. You're eighteen years old. Grow up," Scott told me and then disappeared back upstairs before I could plead my case.

I had no clue what he was talking about. For once, the itching powder was not me. I looked from the steps to Alan.

My younger brother was busy dealing the cards. I noticed a smile on his face and realized what had happened. Alan had put the itching powder in Scott's shirts but of course because the itching powder was technically mine and I was the King of Pranks in my family, Scott assumed it was me.

I knew there was no way to get Alan to admit to it and I could talk until I was blue in the face and Scott would never believe me. That only left me the satisfaction of getting Alan. I had to think of a way to get even.

"Hey Alan, I'm going for a swim. How about joining me?" I said later that afternoon. I was dressed in my swim trunks, and had my revenge hidden underneath the two towels in my arms. Alan was in the den playing a video game.

"Okay," he said tossing the controller aside. "Just let me get changed," he said starting to the video game system away.

"I'll meet you at the pool," I told him. " I already have a towel for you."

"Okay," Alan said not suspecting a thing.

I headed outside and down to the pool. I should have just enough time to set the prank up.

Down by the pool I headed for the lounge chair and nearby table. From beneath the towels I took out the can that held my prank. Inside the can was a fake snake that jumped out of the can. The was made to pop open when it was jarred slightly.

Setting the can carefully on the table I carefully put Alan's towel over top of the can trying not to set it off. When Alan grabbed his towel after the swim the snake should pop out of the can and scare him.

I heard the screen door open and looked toward the house. Alan was coming out with Scott right behind him. I tossed my towel onto the ledge behind the table and jumped into the pool.

Scott took a seat at the patio table the level above the pool, and started doing something on his lap top. Alan ran down the patio steps and did a cannon ball into the pool.

Alan and I got to carrying on in the pool and I completely forgot about the prank I had waiting for him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw John come down to the pool area, a book in his hand.

A few minutes later I heard John's startled cry. He had set off the prank I had set up for Alan.

Startled by the fake snake, John took a step back from the table. In doing so he caught his foot on one of the chair legs. I watched in horror as John fell backwards. As he went down he hit his head on the edge of one of the steps.

"John," I heard Scott shout as he rushed from his spot.

Beside me Alan scrambled to get out of the pool. I was frozen. I clung to the side of the pool, unable to move.

"Alan, go get Dad," I heard Scott shout as he reached for one of the towels.

As Alan rushed towards the house, I finally got myself to move. Slowly, climbing out of the pool. I walked over to where John lay motionless. Scott was holding the towel to the side of his head but I could see the small puddle of blood that had already formed.

I stood there in shock, staring at the lifeless form of my older brother. I hadn't meant for anyone to get hurt. It was suppose to be a joke. A way to get a quick laugh and get back at Alan for getting me into trouble with Scott.

I wasn't sure where I was. Everything was a bright white. The kind of white that hurts your eyes.

I felt a hand come to rest on my shoulder. I looked to see a woman standing there. There was a glow around her, like a halo. She looked familiar and I searched my memory for who it was.

"Mom," I whispered in disbelief as the realization hit me.

I hadn't seen her in years. Hadn't seen her since that ski trip. The one where the avalanche had taken us by surprise. The trip she had died on but.

But if she was here with me then what did that mean.

"Am I . . ."

"Dead," she said softly. "No John. Not yet," she said putting an arm across my shoulders. She felt real to me. "Look" she said softly, pointing to a point in front of us.

The blinding whiteness seemed to fade to be replaced by a very disturbing scene. I saw myself, laying motionlessly in a hospital bed. There was a bandage around my head and I saw an oxygen tube and there was a very slow beeping from a nearby monitor. A doctor and a nurse stood by the bed.

"Your body and your soul are fighting a battle right now, my Angel," my Mom told me using the nickname she had always used for me. 'My Angel'. I had let myself forget about that. Forget about it like I had most of my memories of my mother. "You have a choice to make - go back or come join me."

I had missed her so much. Longed to be with her. At the same time that meant leaving the rest of my family. I didn't want to do that. I had no clue what to do.

"I can't make that choice?"

"You must John, or be forced to stay here by yourself. I can only be here with you for a short time," Mom told me softly. "Let me show you some more and maybe then you can make a choice.

The scene before us faded to be replaced by another scene. I saw my Dad and brothers gathered together in a small waiting room.

"It's his fault John could . . ." I heard Virgil saying.

"Virgil, that's enough," my father told him sternly as he put an arm around Gordon's shoulders. I realized that Virgil's comment must have been directed at Gordon. I tried to remember what had happened.

It came to me even as I watched Scott put his arms around Virgil and Virgil say something that I couldn't make out.

I remembered putting the book down on the table down by the pool, my hand brushing against a can sitting on the table. The fake snake had jumped out at me startling me. I remember thinking Gordon's name even as I caught my foot on the chair leg and fell backwards. Then everything went black.

"We've done what we can Mr. Tracy," I heard an unfamiliar voice saying. I looked back at the scene unfolding in front of me and saw that a doctor had entered the room. "There is one thing I need to know though. Your son has suffered major head trauma. We were able to stabilize him but his condition is still critical. There is a very good chance that he may not regain consciousness. I need to know, should his condition change, if you want extraordinary measures taken to keep you son alive."

My father hesitated. I knew it was killing him to have to make that decision.

"John wouldn't want that Dad," Virgil spoke up softly.

"Virgil's right," Scott said not much louder his one arm still around Virgil's shoulders.

They were right. I didn't want to be kept alive by machines. Would my Dad be able to make that choice though.

Dad looked back at Virgil and Scott and then back at the doctor.

"No," he told the doctor with a slight shake of his head. "No I don't."

"I'll need you to sign a form," the doctor told him. I saw my Dad nod.

I wasn't sure what to feel. They were doing what I would want them to do still I felt hurt. It felt as if they were giving up on me. Maybe it was time to let go. Stop trying to fit into the family that I had always felt like a bit of an outsider in. I was so much different then any of my brothers. Scott use to make the joke that I had been adopted. At least I always hoped it was a joke.

"Angel?" I heard my mom whisper, wanting to know if I had made my decision yet.

"I'm more confused, Mom," I told her. "It's like they're ready to let go. Maybe it would better for them if I wasn't around."

"They love you John," she told me. "Here watch," she said as the scene shifted again.

We were back in the hospital room again. Scott stood holding Virgil at the foot of the bed. Even though Virgil had his head hidden against Scott, I could tell he was crying.

Off to the side, my Dad stood with one arm around Alan and his other arm around Gordon. I could see tears glistening in everyone's eyes. I can't remember ever seeing my father cry. He hadn't even cried in front of us when Mom had died.

"You still think they're ready to let you go."

"Mom, tell me what to do," I whispered.

"I can't Angel," she told me. "You have to make the choice yourself."

Movement caught my eye. I looked back at the scene unfolding in front of me. The movement was Gordon making his way to the bedside. I watched as he reached out and took my hand in his. I saw him sink to his knees beside the bed.

"John, I'm so sorry," I heard Gordon whisper. " I didn't mean for this to happen."

His words pained me. I could tell that he blamed himself. That if I died then Gordon would live with that guilt for the rest of his life.

Suddenly I knew what I had to do. As much as I wanted to stay with Mom, I knew I couldn't do that to my brother.

"I have to go back," I told her.

I saw my mother nod, tears glistening in her eyes.

"I'm glad," she told me. "As much as I missed my Angel I know that my sons and husband needs him more," she said, suddenly further away. As I watched she got further away. Everything around me seemed to get dimmer. "Remember, I'll be here waiting for you my Angel," she said as she slipped out of my sight and then everything went black.

"I didn't mean for this to happen," I told my brother holding his limp hand in my own. I didn't know if he could hear me or not but if there was even a slight possibility that he could then it was worth it. "John don't leave us. Keep hanging on," I pleaded.

I felt a hand come to rest on my shoulder. I didn't need to look back to know that it was my father

"It's not your fault," I heard a voice whisper. I thought it was my father at first but then I realized that it wasn't my father's voice. I looked up to see John's eyes open, and felt his hand grasp mine.

"John!" I said relieved to hear his voice. There was so much more I wanted to say but I couldn't. Everything was just a jumble inside.

"Virgil," I heard John whisper holding out his other hand.

I turned my head to see Virgil move away from his spot at the foot of the bed and made his way to the other side of the bed across from me. Virgil reached out and took John's outstretched hand.

"This was an accident," I heard John say as he moved mine and Virgil's hands together. I let go of John's hands to take Virgil's. "It was no one's fault."

I felt a lump in my throat. How did John know that Virgil had been blaming me for this?

"Gordon, I'm sorry," I heard Virgil say. I looked across the bed at him and met his gaze.

"It doesn't matter," I told him. And it didn't. John was still with us. That was what really mattered.

My Angel.

That was what Mom use to call John. I was starting to realize how right she had been. John was this family's Angel. The one who somehow kept us all together. The one who had held the family together after her death.

I was thankful that our family hadn't loss our living angel. I wasn't sure if we could have made it through that with our family still intact.