Chapter Nineteen

Hiei rolled his eyes at the hiss that escaped her, glancing back over his shoulder to see the slayer grasp at her injured arm once more as she fumbled her way around in the darkness of the caves. Her foot caught at a hidden rock formation and she stumbled forward gracelessly, cursing under her breath as she barely kept herself from falling, and the fire apparition gave a frustrated snort.

"You're going to bring every demon in the underground like that, fool," Hiei remarked irritably. Honestly, he'd seen the girl move before; knew she was anything but clumsy. It was one of the things he appreciated most about her, actually. She carried herself with a measured grace, deliberate in every step she took, lethal in her stealth. She came like judgment: swift, silent and unrepentant.

Not that he cared. Because he didn't. Really. … Except that somewhere in the back of his mind, Hiei knew that wasn't entirely true. While he could admit that she'd earned his respect – begrudged though it might have been – there was something else there he couldn't quite identify. Complicated. She unnerved him, and frankly, it was difficult to navigate.

"Well it's not as though I can see anything," she snipped, frustrated. "Maybe you don't have any problem in the dark, but I don't have the benefit of demon sight."

The demon heaved an exaggerated sigh and reached for the girl's wrist impatiently, stopping abruptly when she cried out at the contact. Hiei regarded her coolly through the shadows as she cradled the useless limb closer to her body and cursed once more at the movement.

"Let me see," he said, quirking a brow when she shook her head and took a tentative step forward to pass. She swayed on her feet and immediately stiffened as his arm shot out to steady her.

"I thought you wouldn't trouble yourself with little things like my survival," she said, a throwback to his words from just a few weeks ago, though she had not the energy for the bitterness it might have once implied. "I'm fine. Let's just keep moving."

"Don't be stupid," he groused, dropping a hand to her unharmed shoulder and guiding the slayer to kneel. "You should have mentioned it sooner. You'll damage the muscle like that; maybe the nerves too."

"You were in no condition," the slayer said quietly, struggling to find his features in the absence of light. She could feel him, the heat radiating from his skin – the pulse and thrum of his jyaki – was unmistakable, and she tensed at his proximity but did not pull away as he moved in for closer inspection.

"It's not me you need worry about, girl," he remarked absently, stretching the limb slowly and watching as it strained and shook involuntarily. The apparition felt along the contours of her dominant arm, applying pressure in small circles on the muscle line until she yelped when he hit a particularly sensitive place.

His focus narrowed, and Sango went stone still as he reached for the neckline of her black leather garment, unfastening the clips down to her breast with relative ease.

"Wh … what are you doing," she breathed, more than a little uneasy as he gently rolled the fabric back to expose her bruised and swelling shoulder.

"I'm going to molest you," the fire apparition intoned, a bite to the comment that told Sango just exactly how ludicrous the notion had been. "Idiot."

Sango flushed but felt the discomfort roiling beneath her skin ease just a little. She hadn't actually believed he was going to molest her, but he could have been a little more forthcoming with information, the ass. He wasn't exactly known for his kindness, nor his ability to heal. The entire encounter was just surreal as far as she was concerned.

"It's torn," he said gruffly. "I think the shoulder may be partially dislocated, too." The demon slayer had been injured enough in her short life to realize what that meant. She exhaled heavily, steeling herself. "Just do it."

He gave her no time to reconsider, and Sango gave a strangled cry as he rolled the ball of her shoulder back into place fully with one swift jerk.

"Son of a … hmmm hmmm hmmm," she growled, clamping down on a string of expletives that would have made Inuyasha blush. The huntress bit down on her lip as he held her there, one hand bracing her collarbone and the other wrapped around her bicep, and fed energy to heat his palms. She felt her skin prickle as the wash of energy worked into the tendons and bone, and Sango forced the pain down into ragged breaths as she fought to smother it out by sheer will.

Moments that felt like years passed before the warmth set in, and she sighed as the muscle began to relax ever so slightly. Sango didn't know if this was his way of apologizing or repaying her, but regardless she felt the tension between them begin to drain away, like watercolors in the rain. It wasn't perfect, but at least she could breathe a little.

"And here I thought Kurama was the medic among us," she said tiredly, shifting away slightly to put more space between them.

"Hn," he grunted, easing her arm to rest at her side and sat back, eyeing his work as she rolled her shoulder back and forth. The discomfort was still there, but it was far more bearable than it had been.

"Thank you," she said quietly, working her arm back into the sleeve. "That's much better."

"Don't get used to it," he said gruffly as he stood. "We've got a long way back; we'll need our wits and defenses."

Sango nodded, working to refasten the clips of her uniform. It was explanation enough, though she couldn't help but be surprised at the whole exchange. He hadn't needed to help her; had made it quite clear that he wouldn't if given the choice.

But he'd had the choice, hadn't he? Not just now either, she realized. He might have acted like an ass when they finally broke to leave their makeshift camp that morning, but the truth was that Hiei had watched over her, kept her warm when she was desperately tired and cold. He'd listened to her without the judgment she'd feared and perhaps unfairly expected of him when she bared the scars on her heart. He'd spared her brother, perhaps simply because she'd asked.

She stood, eyes scanning the darkness as the revelation bloomed in her mind. Their relationship had been so fraught with tension and distrust at first, but Sango couldn't really say what it had become now. Allies, yes … but somehow it felt like more than that.

She jumped, startled when she felt his hand seek hers in the dark.

"You can't see," he answered as though it was obvious before she could even ask, grip tightening around hers. He tugged lightly, nudging her to follow in his steps as they continued the narrow path forward. "I want to get out of here eventually."

"Oh, right," she agreed lamely and flushed as she stumbled clumsily once more.

The demon sneered, somewhat annoyed now. "How did your kind ever manage to exterminate anything?"

"Hey, this isn't exactly easy!" she argued. "You could just provide a little light, you know."

"Or, you could use your other abilities, slayer," he urged, more patiently than she would have expected. "You rely too heavily on your eyes. Feel the energies in the room. See."

Her mouth drew in a firm line, aggravated though she wasn't sure if at him or herself. "I'm trying."

He stopped abruptly and spun to face her, bringing the exterminator up short. "No, you're not," he said, exasperated. "When you breathe, you feel it in your chest. The rhythmic push and pull of air as it fills and leaves your lungs … you feel it, do you not?"

"Yes," she nodded, not yet certain what he was trying to tell her.

"And your heart," he continued, hoping to make her understand. "The steady beating in your chest, the pulse and flush of life that warms you beneath the skin. You feel it?"

"Yes, of course."

"Those energies are connected, as they are in all things," he explained. "Close your eyes and breathe. Feel the energy rise and fall within you; breathe in and feel it fill you from the soles of your feet to the top of your head. Feel where you connect to the ground, to the space between heartbeats and beyond."

She understood, then. Much like she'd been trained to feel jyaki and aura, Sango realized she could use that same concept to sense the natural chi around her in that synchronous flow of pure existence. It wasn't full blown sight, but it helped. She drew a deep breath and exhaled, envisioning where she stood connected to the ground, the demon world and the apparition in front of her, and she gasped, a slight smile lighting her features as she processed that connection.

He pulled back from her then and smiled just a little himself, pleased that she'd picked up on it quickly enough. "Now, you see."

"Yes," she said warmly. "I see."

Still, he kept her hand in his, leading her through the stone passageways far more effectively now as they continued onward for some time in silence, their steps light and in tandem. And while it was a little unsettling to be connected in such a way, Sango found that she really didn't mind. Surreal though it was, it felt strangely natural to hold his hand so easily, she noticed, taking the slightest bit of comfort in the heat of his palm pressed to hers. Again, he'd managed to surprise her.

"I wouldn't have pegged you for a teacher," she told him, honestly. "Or a healer, for that matter. Did Kurama show you that?"

The demon quirked a brow, maneuvering around a particularly large rock in the narrowing passage. "I manage well enough on my own," he answered.

"Is it always that way?" she asked pointedly, curious for reasons she couldn't truly explain. Sango knew he seldom kept company with others, except for Kurama perhaps, but still she wondered what his life must be like beyond his Spirit World servitude. Was he entirely alone?

Hiei shifted a little, not entirely comfortable with where the course of conversation was taking them but willing to allow it for now. "Yes," he answered candidly. "I have no need of others or the weakness connection brings."

The demon exterminator looked down to the place where she knew their hands met and wondered if that was actually true. She supposed she could understand; it wasn't all that long ago she too sought solitude, afraid that those she now considered dearest friends would stand in the way of vengeance somehow. Or worse, she would destroy them in pursuit of that vengeance. It had taken so long for her to trust – them or herself – despite the stubborn persistence they held in remaining with her through everything. Years, really. And yet, somewhere among Inuyasha's hard-nosed insistence, Kagome's unyielding selflessness and Miroku's warm empathy, she'd found her place again – her home – even if it wasn't the home she'd imagined in the life she led before. They were the source of solace she'd so desperately needed. Eventually, Sango realized just how misguided she had been.

"I draw strength from my friends," she said softly, bringing the demon up short. She felt him turn in the darkness, eyes like fire upon her. "Have you no one?"

He hesitated, though it was fleeting. "Save your sympathies, girl," he told her quietly. "They are wasted on me."

She felt cold just then, the dawning realization bringing a sadness that settled into her skin like frost.

"Not ever?" she pressed, feeling her throat tighten with the possibility of it. Sango had spent the better part of her life secure in the presence of those who loved and cared for her, even at her worst. That support fueled her drive to be at her absolute best and proved the only thing that kept her going in the darkest of hours. To think that he'd had nothing and no one, even as a child … It was cruel.

"Why do you care?" he snipped defensively, dropping her hand roughly.

Sango wished she had a real answer for him, but she honestly didn't know herself. Her breath quickened at the living flame in his aura, and she opted for the truth, inadequate as it was.

"I don't know," she said, swallowing past the painful revelation in her throat.

He sighed heavily, and Sango felt the ire drain from him as quickly as it came.

"Some stories," he said, voice so soft it was little more than a whisper, "just aren't worth telling."

Sango took a tentative step forward, emboldened by the need to share what he had given her just the night before: sanctuary, even if only for a bit. She brought a gentle hand up to sweep the planes of his face, and the demon hissed in surprise as she brushed soft fingertips across the dirty white bandana where the jagan lie closed beneath.

"Then show me," she whispered.

Hiei drew a quick breath as the jagan flared to life at the touch, its own will stirring on the edge of his consciousness, and he took hold of her chin hard, bringing her so close she could feel the heat of his breath roll across her cheeks like a desert wind.

"I don't think you realize what you're doing, girl," he growled.

And maybe she didn't. The truth was Sango couldn't really say what it was that compelled her to understand him. Perhaps, it was that somewhere in the depths of her heart untouched by conscious thought or the pretense of what they should be – demon and slayer – a part of her saw too clearly a kindred soul. Maybe, she could sense he needed someone to understand just as badly as she did, and regardless of who he was – what he was to her – Sango couldn't turn away.

"Maybe not," she said softly, letting her fingers fall away from his face. "But I know what it means to have nothing … to survive the hollow inside."

To survive. Now that was something with which Hiei was keenly familiar.

"You really want to know?" he rasped, voice a darker timbre as his jyaki flared and the jagan screamed at him from within. He let go her chin and wrapped his hand around the back of her neck, drawing her closer still as he touched her forehead to his own. Sango gasped at the intensity of the touch as the jagan glowed a deep purple, illuminating the space around them like moonlight through stained glass.

And then she saw.

A/N: Yeah, been awhile. I may be 90 when it's done, but I'll finish this one eventually. I appreciate all of you who have stuck with it over the years. Hope you're enjoying this little project of mine as much as I do. The outline for this chapter was initially much longer, but this is a weighty chapter. Brief, but significant. For reader sanity and the fact that it felt whole in and of itself, I've left it to this.

Many thanks to YFate, who, as always, continues to inspire.