Any Crash You Can Walk Away From

By Adalanta

Disclaimer: See Part One for disclaimer.

Author's Note: This is it, folks, the last chapter. Thank you very much to everyone who reviewed thus far! Your comments have made this story much easier to write, and I appreciate you taking the time to let me know what you've thought. I had a hard time writing this chapter. I kept wanting to make it dark and depressing (Hey, it's what I do!) but I didn't really want to go out on that note, so I tried to include a bit of humor this time. I hope you like it. One last time, please, let me know what you think of it. Enjoy!

Part Five

"So, Apollo's getting released today, right? Kara?"

The sound of her name jerked Lieutenant Kara "Starbuck" Thrace out of her reverie, and as she glanced up at Boomer, she realized that she'd completely missed everything her friend had said. Actually, she'd been so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she hadn't even known she was talking at all. "Sorry, Sharon," she apologized, blinking. "What were you saying?"

Lieutenant Sharon "Boomer" Valerii smiled sympathetically. "Yeah, that's what I thought. You looked like you were a million miles away." She paused, her dark eyes glinting mischievously. "Or was your mind, oh, four decks up in Life Station with a certain Captain?" she asked impishly, smoothing her long black hair into a neat ponytail. Ignoring the mock glare cast her way, she repeated her previous question, "Apollo's getting out today, right?" and received a nod in return.

"And not a moment too soon," Kara added, smiling at the thought. "He's been going stir crazy ever since he woke up three days ago. It's a good thing the doctor's releasing him because I don't think the medical staff can take much more. Do you know he actually ordered me to bring him his clothes yesterday so he could sneak out early?" she asked indignantly.

Boomer paused in the middle of pulling on her flight suit. "What did you do?"

"Well," she drawled with a smirk, "he is the CAG."

"Kara!" The young Raptor pilot's jaw dropped wide open. "You didn't!"

"Oh, you bet I did," she replied. "I decided to humor him so I brought him some clothes – a pair of socks and some underwear." Boomer burst out laughing, collapsing back onto her bunk next to Kara's. Starbuck only managed to hold out a few seconds longer before laughing herself. A couple minutes later, she gasped, "Well, at least I didn't disobey a direct order," which caused another round of laughter. Gods, I can't remember the last time I laughed like this, Kara wondered.

"What'd he say?" Boomer asked, wiping away tears of laughter from her eyes and holding her aching stomach as she got back on her feet and resumed getting ready.

Kara grinned, rolling over on her bunk to lie on her stomach. "Oh, that's the best part. Commander Adama showed up right after I pulled them out of my bag. You should have seen Apollo trying to explain why he was holding a pair of socks and underwear in his lap. I've never seen anyone look so flustered!"

It had taken every ounce of control Kara possessed not to have laughed aloud when the Commander had shown up. Lee had been well and truly stuck. He wasn't about to tell his father the truth – that he'd ordered her to bring his clothes and that he was trying to escape. Kara had excused herself a moment later and had practically bolted from the room to keep from laughing. That couldn't have worked out better had I planned it, she mused. The wide-eyed, stunned look on his face had been priceless.

Still laughing, Boomer leaned over and pulled on her second boot. "So, what time is he being released?"

"1200."

"1200," she frowned, "but…that was over an hour ago. Why hasn't he come in yet? He is bunking in here, right?"

"Yeah, at least he was planning on it earlier." The CAG's quarters had been taken over as a temporary storage area for the deceased's property, but Kara seriously doubted that Lee would ever move in even after all of the stuff had been sorted and cleared out. That would be like someone digging up a graveyard and then building a house over it, she shuddered and then quickly moved on. "Apollo's meeting with the Commander in the CO's quarters. They have a few things to discuss, and besides, Lee never had time to give an official report of what happened on Colonial One," Kara rested her chin on her crossed arms, absently watching Boomer finish getting suited up. "The Commander still has a few questions he wants answered." And a few things he wants to say, she mentally added.

"Well," the young woman closed her locker with a bang, "I'm on duty in a few minutes, so I'd better get moving." She headed for the hatch but stopped a few feet from it, glancing back at Kara. "They're dismissing most of us about 1630 so we'll have time to change into dress uniforms before the ceremony." Boomer spoke quietly, sadness darkening her exotic features.

Starbuck nodded silently, and Boomer slipped out, trying her best to hide the tears that threatened to fall. Kara didn't blame her. Nearly everyone had shed tears since the Cylons attacked, some in private, some in public. That first day, it'd been impossible to walk the corridors of Galactica without seeing someone in tears. During the last couple of days, though, things had gotten better. Either people have begun to accept what happened, or they've just run out of tears. Personally, she suspected the latter. Yes, the past few days had been rough…but today was going to be the toughest of all.

A mass funeral was scheduled at 1700 in the Starboard Landing Pod to commemorate not only all of Galactica's dead, but also all of those lost on the Twelve Colonies. One short, simple ceremony for the death of billions. A small part of her couldn't help but think it unfair. Still, as much as she wished that something more could be done, she understood that it could not be done now – not when the Fleet was busy licking its own wounds and struggling to stay alive. And to make matters worse, it was to be a military funeral which meant no tears and no emotional displays. I guess it's for the best, she thought, swallowing hard. If we take the time now to mourn the dead, we'd fall apart, and Lords know how long, if ever, it'd take to get back together.

Hearing the hatch open, she glanced up, thinking Boomer had returned for something she'd accidentally left behind. Instead, she was surprised to see Captain Lee Adama step into the room. Kara didn't even wait for the hatch to close all the way before she asked, "So, how'd it go?" and sat up.

The young Captain's gaze flickered once around the room, searching in every bunk to make sure no one else was there to listen in on what he was about to say. Once he was certain they were alone, he slowly made his way over to her bunk. "Well," he replied with a heavy sigh, "He didn't cuss me out like you did." Moving cautiously, he eased himself down next to her, resting his elbows on his knees. "Actually, it didn't go as badly as I thought it would."

Starbuck perked up at his last comment. "Really? What happened?"

"He wasn't too pleased with me when I admitted that I knew something was wrong, but he did allow me to finish my report without interrupting. Then he just sat there, staring at me without saying a word." He sighed again, rubbing his face with both hands, and then looked over at her with a half smile. "You know, I think the silence is worse than a reprimand? It's the expectation – the waiting – that makes it so hard."

"I know what you mean." She'd lost count of how many times she'd been in that same position, nervously waiting for a superior officer to pronounce judgment. "How'd he take it?"

"Surprising well," he shrugged, returning his gaze to the floor. "He said that he could understand my reasons, and that my actions were appropriate under the circumstances – at least onboard Colonial One. Then he proceeded to lecture me for twenty minutes on my duties as a superior officer, that it was my responsibility to see to the welfare of those under my command, myself included." Lee carefully straightened up from his slumped position and turned to face her. "And as a final note, he informed me that if I ever pull anything like that aboard Galactica, he'd personally bust me back to Lieutenant and let you take over the squadron. You don't know how tempted I was to tell him to go ahead and do it."

"Don't you dare!" she threatened, nudging him with her shoulder. "I already told you I don't want that kind of responsibility. I'm not a big enough dipstick for the job, remember?" Starbuck hoped the teasing reminder from earlier would coax a smile out of him like it had a few days before.

It worked, much to her relief.

Over the past few days, she'd noticed that Lee'd been unusually quiet and seemed absolutely drained. Kara hadn't been too concerned about it before, assuming that it was from the constant headaches that still plagued him and the pain medication he was taking. Now she wasn't so sure. Studying him silently out of the corner of her eye, she took in the dark circles under his eyes and the new lines etched into his handsome features. Even after two days resting in Life Station, he still looked exhausted. Nightmares. Her heart sank. He's having nightmares. That's got to be why heseems so tired. How the frak did I miss that? she thought, furious at herself for missing the fact that her best friend was suffering and she hadn't even noticed. Everyone else was battling nightmares – why should he be any different? "How are you doing, Lee?"

"What do you mean?" His response was automatic, followed by a sharp, searching glance.

"What do you think I mean?" He was always good at deflecting questions. If he doesn't want to answer, he either asks a question of his own or closes up and refuses to talk at all. "Okay," she drew the word out, "Let's try this again. How are you feeling?" As much as she wanted to know the answer, her main reason for asking was simply to keep him talking. If he shuts me out now, I'll never find out what's wrong.

"I'm fine, Kara. The headaches are almost gone." He twisted around and stretched his legs out on her mattress, effectively ending the discussion. Resting his head back against the wall, he watched her closely, his face suddenly devoid of emotion.

Frak! she cursed silently, recognizing the all too familiar expression for what it was – a mask carefully constructed (and often used) to keep whatever he was thinking secret. He'd always use it when he met with his father in those years before Zak died. After that, he showed only fury and contempt. Not that that was much better, she readily amended, but at least then he was showing what he truly felt, not hiding it. Swallowing, she came to an abrupt decision. Oh, well. Might as well say what I think. Taking a deep, steadying breath, she strove to keep her voice casual. "You look tired."

He shrugged one shoulder. "Yeah, well…Life Station isn't real conducive to sleeping."

Kara knew from personal experience thatwas true. Stomach cringing, her mind flashed back to what she'd seen and heard those first few hours she'd spent in Life Station waiting for Lee to wake up. The horrifying sight of her fellow crewmembers, bloody and burned, haunted her nightmares, and she still heard their screams of pain in the quiet hours of the night. She had to concentrate hard to keep her lunch from making a reappearance even now. Still, she couldn't help but feel his reason was also a convenient excuse. Something else is wrong, I know it. Much to her frustration, there was no way for her to find out what was wrong unless Lee came right out and told her himself. Right. That's about as likely to happen as the Cylons giving us back the 12 Colonies and then committing mass suicide. Still…It never hurts to ask. "You wanna talk about it?"

His eyes dropped as he shook his head. "No." The word was so soft that she nearly missed it.

"Alright," she agreed, noting the look of relief that flickered briefly across his pale face before he regained control. "Look. We still have a few hours to kill," she winced slightly at the word, "before the ceremony. Why don't you grab a bunk and get some rest?" Seeing his mouth open to protest, she ruthlessly added, "It's plenty quiet in here, so you shouldn't have any trouble sleeping," knowing that his stubborn pride would do anything to keep from admitting that he was having nightmares.

The young man shifted uneasily on the bunk, his blue eyes dark in the dim light.

Seeing his hesitation, she urged, "Come on, Lee. You need the rest."

It took a few seconds more but he finally nodded and climbed to his feet. Once there he glanced around uncertainly at all the empty bunks and spoke in a subdued voice, "So, which bunk should I take?"

Kara cleared her throat, unable to meet his sympathetic gaze, though she could still feel it rest upon her. "Take your pick," she said shortly. "Boomer's is the bottom one to the left of mine." All the rest were empty, the pilots – her entire squadron – gone, never to return. She shoved aside the thought before it could fully penetrate. Now wasn't the time to mourn the dead. She had other things to worry about – like her best friend.

Lee settled down on the bottom bunk directly opposite her, unknowingly choosing the only bunk that offered her an unobstructed view. Wordlessly pulling off his boots and stripping out of his flight suit, he curled up on his side with his back to Kara. She stared at his motionless form for a long time, unable to tell if he was asleep, though she doubted he was. After a while, she shrugged and lay down herself, making sure to stay on her side so she could keep an eye on Lee. Kara knew he was having problems sleeping – who wouldn't after all we've been through? – but he didn't have to go through it alone, not while she was around. If and when he chose to confide in her, she'd be ready. In the meantime, she planned on staying close by, for his sake…and for hers.

THE END

End Note: Thank you all for staying with me to the very end! I've appreciated all of your thoughts and comments over the last month and hope that you've enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. I decided to end this now before it grew into a monster that I wouldn't be able to finish. I have an idea for a sequel of sorts, this time from Lee's POV, and how he's dealing with everything that's happened. Let me know if you'd be interested in reading something like that. Thanks - Adalanta