(A/N okay okay, I know it's been a long time, and I 'm sorry! So here is the one you've all been waiting for: "Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka, the amazing chocolatier, Willy Wonka Willy Wonka everybody give a cheer!" Also, it's a huge joke with our colorguard that when our coach or captain needs our attention, they do the oompa loompa call and we answer back with the call. It has gotten us many a strange look from people at school, at the mall, in resturaunts...yeah...)

(JACK and HANSON are sitting on the beach, having given up their sea turtle quest for the time being and HANSON spots a speck floating in the distance)
HANSON: Jack, what's that?
JACK: Wha's what lad?
HANSON(points): That pink speck out there.
JACK: That lad---is a boat!
HANSON: A boat! Jack! We're saved! (HANSON starts waving his arms around and shouting at the boat)
JACK: Wait a minute--it's sinking!
(HANSON stops and squints at the boat, and as it nears them, they realize that it isn't sinking)
HANSON: It's disinigrating!
WONKA: GOOD MORNING STARSHINE! THE EARTH SAYS HELLO!
JACK: Oh-kay.
(The boat floats closer and a man in a jacket and top hat swims toward them, struggling to stay above water)
JACK: Do ye need some 'elp mate?
(The man crawls onto the beach, coughs up some water and stands up, brushing himself off. HANSON and JACK stare in awe)
WONKA: No...heh heh...you're really weird.
HANSON: Who are you?
WONKA: My name is Willy Wonka! I shake you warmly by the hand! (WONKA extends hand and squeaks gloves, retracts hand.) Okey Dokey then!
HANSON(breaking character): So, how much did Burton have to pay you to get you to say that line again?
WONKA(also breaking character): Oh he just tacked another mil onto what he owed me for making me get this ridiculus haircut.
JACK: blank stare
WONKA(back in character): LU LU LU LU LU LU LU!
(HANSON and JACK cover their ears)
JACK: Bloody 'ell mate! What on earth are ye doin'?
WONKA: I'm calling my oompa loompas of course. LU LU LU LU LU LU LU!
HANSON: Your what?
WONKA: Oompa loompas. From Loompa Land.
JACK: Mate, I've been all over this world in me ship and I've never even 'eard-
WONKA: Well then you'll know all about it and what a terrible country it is...LU LU LU LU LU LU LU!
(In the distance, breaking through the trees are seven girls with flags and rifles)
AHS COLORGUARD: LU LU LU LU LU LU LU LU! (they stop at WONKA's feet)
WONKA: You are not my oompa loompas!
ERIN-THE-COLORGUARD-MASTER: Yeah, you're not our coach either. (The girls begin to walk away and we hear their mutters)
MEGAN: ----stupid chocolatier.
MOLLY: ----gonna miss practice.
JUDY: ----Diana's gonna kill us.
STEPH : ---all the way back to Minnesota now.
EMILY: ---your fault Keira!
KEIRA: I swear I---winks at reader
HANSON: Well, that was unexpected.
WONKA: LU LU LU LU LU LU LU!
JACK: BLOODY HELL! Knock it off!
HANSON: There are no oompa loompas here!
WONKA: No---oompa loompas.
HANSON: No, none! So stop it!
WONKA: How---but---I-
JACK: Come on mate and we'll get ye dried off...

(So, what do you think of this one? I wrote the chapter awhile ago during colorguard season especially for my girls! Love you guys! R&R and you'll get cookies! Plot Bunny cookies! Yay! More to come I promise!)