AN: Well, here it is, the last and finally chapter. It was just going to be a short and sweet little epilogue but it ended up morphing its self into a short chapter. I realized that there was something in the story when Daniel was sick that I didn't cover. They dream he had, that nightmare that Jack woke him up from when they were still at Jack's parents place; this is the story behind that, though I never come out and say it. Anyways, thank you to everyone who has read this story and please sick around to see what else I have cooking in my pot. Enjoy!
STARGATE: SG-1
'You Had Forgotten'
Written by Kiya II
Spoilers for Gamekeeper, Meridian, Abyss, Full Circle, Fallen, Homecoming and minor mentions of Fragile Balance, Orpheus, and Revisions
CHAPTER SIX – REAFFIRMING THE FORGOTTEN
It had been some time since the figure in the dark room had stirred. He had been sitting there silently and unmoving for more then an hour now. If it weren't for the fact that he was blinking every so often, someone walking into the dark room would have thought that he had dozed off.
His mind was a whirl of thoughts, mostly things that he couldn't sort through, couldn't place. His thoughts had all swirled together forming one massive cloud which didn't make the slightest bit of sense to him but one thing was perfectly clear in his mind; one thing stood out in his thoughts above all the rest: Jack.
Daniel sighed deeply from where he sat in the dark living room. He had woken up a little over an hour ago and had smiled to himself when he had found that Jack had wrapped him tightly in his arms.
He had missed the older man. Even though he hadn't remembered them since his return to this plane of exists, he had still felt the pain of their separation greatly. All the pain he had been feeling, especially during their visit to Jack's parent's place, finally made sense to him, but that's not what had him down in the living room at the moment instead of upstairs in bed with Jack.
Daniel rubbed a hand over his forehead and closed his eyes tiredly, pulling his legs up onto the couch. He just wanted to sleep. To close his eyes and doze off, but he couldn't, not after what he had seen in his dreams.
He needed rest, he knew. He still wasn't fully over that virus yet, but he couldn't sleep. The fear of seeing the dream or nightmare, whatever it was, was keeping him wide awake.
After he had woken up in bed an hour ago, he hadn't been able to remember what his dream had been about that had woken him. His mind was still trying to sort through all the missing memories that had finally come back to him so it had taken him a few moments to remember what the dream had been about.
In the few moments that he hadn't remembered, he had gotten to just lie there and enjoy the feeling of Jack's arms around him and how much he had missed it. But then the memory of his dream had come rushing back to him and he had to get away for a bit. He hadn't wanted to wake Jack and he knew that if he couldn't sleep, he'd probably end up waking the older man, so he had quietly left the bed and come down here.
That was a little over an hour ago and Daniel still hadn't been able to sort through what the dream was about enough to go back upstairs and go to sleep. He knew what he needed right then, but Jack had gotten very little sleep while he had been sick and he knew that the older man needed his rest. So he was going to have to sort through this alone.
He remembered the dream vividly. The memory of the real event now pained him. He could remember now what happened on Abydos, knew his own version of the events that had transpired there. He remembered facing Anibus and then being pulled back by the Others. He remember being forced to watch Anibus destroy Abydos and then all the events afterwards that led to his desencion.
He clenched his eyes shut against the tears that wanted to fall at the memory of his trial. He remembered listen to all the charges against him and hadn't been regretful about any of them, but his sentence. They had told him that he would be forced to descend. The idea hadn't been unexpected and he hadn't really cared. It was when they told him that he would be placed on a world the SGC would probably never visit and that his memories would be taken from him that he had protested.
They hadn't wanted him to be able to go back to his life. They hadn't wanted the SGC to find him and hadn't wanted him to remember what he had left behind. They wanted him to live the rest of his life alone, away from the ones he had loved and with the knowledge that he might have committed some horrible crime, which was why he had been abandoned. They had implanted that doubt into his mind; the fear that he wasn't wanted and that he probably had down something awful.
"Daniel?"
Daniel opened his eyes and turned to see Jack standing at the doorway leading into the living room, staring at him slightly confused. Daniel watched Jack scan him over and then come to kneel in front of him.
Jack raised his hands to Daniel's face and with the pads on his thumbs, wiped the tears that were streaming down his face away. Daniel closed his eyes and leaned into Jack's right hand, grabbing the other one with his own right hand.
"What's wrong, Danny?" Jack asked softly, forcing Daniel to open his eyes.
Daniel stared into Jack's eyes for a moment, taking in the concern and love that was in those brown depths. God, how he had missed those eyes; had missed just staring into them for hours on end. He had never realized until that moment how much he needed Jack in his life. The memory of his trial had brought that need to light and it was slowly eating away at him inside.
"Jack," Daniel muttered softly, his voice cracking on his tears. Jack got the meaning behind that one simple word right away and moved to sit on the couch beside Daniel, pulling the younger man into his arms. Daniel clutched at Jack's robe and buried his head into the older man's neck, his tears falling freely now. Jack just wrapped his arms around Daniel, whispering sweet words into his ear. Daniel knew that Jack had no idea what was wrong, but that didn't matter at the moment. All that mattered was this, Jack's arms around him.
After a few moments, Daniel was able to calm himself down. He pulled away from Jack slightly and Jack again raised a hand to wipe Daniel's tears away.
"You okay now?" Jack asked softly.
Daniel looked up at Jack and just shook his head. "Not really."
Jack sighed. "What's wrong, Daniel? You were fine earlier."
"I know I was," Daniel answered, looking down at their intertwined hands. "But I hadn't remembered…" He trailed off, closing his eyes against the memory.
Jack rubbed a hand soothingly up and down Daniel's arms for a moment. "What did you remember?"
Daniel's eyes remained shut for a moment, but then he opened them again and stared right into Jack's eyes. "They wanted me to suffer."
"Who?"
"The Others," Daniel answered, sniffling slightly. "I remember everything Jack. I remember the fight on Abydos, Abydos being destroyed, but most of all, I remember the trial that the others gave me before they forced me to descend and they made me forget."
"Daniel-" Jack started but Daniel interrupted him.
"They on purposely put me on Vis Urban, Jack. They placed me there because it was the last gate address on the SGC list. They hadn't wanted you guys to find me and they hadn't wanted me to remember anything."
"Daniel, slow down," Jack said, trying to be as reassuring as he could.
Daniel closed his eyes again and tried to calm his breathing. He knew he had to stay calm other wise he had a feeling he'd start throwing things and yell and scream at the ancients for the injustice they done to him.
"Now," Jack said, after he had given Daniel a few minutes to breath. "Start from the beginning."
Daniel closed his eyes while he gathered his thoughts. He knew that he wasn't making much sense to Jack at the moment but he needed his lover to understand. He needed Jack right now, needed him to know what the ancients had done to him; to them.
"I remember," Daniel began softly, "I remember everything that happened from when I told you where the eye of Ra was up to my descension."
Jack nodded. "Got that part."
Daniel nodded. "You wanted me to help; to use my powers to save Abydos. At first I didn't want to because it was against the rules the Others had set down. But you got me thinking back on why I had ascended in the first place."
"You said you thought you could do more good and help more people that way," Jack answered.
Daniel nodded. "I know. I realized that I had all these powers that I couldn't use because of the ancients. So I threatened Anubis. Told him that we'd give him the eye of Ra if he let you guys go and if he left Abydos alone."
"He didn't listen."
"No, he didn't," Daniel continued, looking down at their hands again. "I tried to use my powers to stop him, but the Others stopped me. They pulled me back, Jack, and instead of just forcing me to descend right then and there, they forced me to watch Anubis destroy Abydos and they told me that it was all my fault. They said that if I hadn't interfered, Abydos wouldn't have been destroyed."
"It's not true, Daniel," Jack said, stroking the younger man's cheek. "You did all that you could to help the Abydoians and Anubis probably would have killed them all and us if it hadn't been for you. As it was, we were able to at least help, you stalled Anubis enough so that we could escape and Oma helped the Abydoians to ascend so they didn't really die."
"I know that now," Daniel answered. "I remember what happened. I no longer have to guess at it. But that's not really the point. The point is that the ancients had planted that doubt into my mind that I had done it, which was why when you guys found me that I was afraid to come back to Earth with you. I thought that I had done something horrible, thought that the horrible thing I had done was the reason I was left on that planet and my memories taken away from me."
Daniel paused a moment and took a breath to try and stop the tears.
Jack sighed and pulled the younger man into his lap, continuing to soothingly rub his hand up and down Daniel's back and arm. Daniel greedily accepted the touches and pushed himself closer to Jack, burying his head under the older man's chin.
"It's okay, Daniel," Jack said softly, wrapping his arms tightly around the younger man. "Whatever they had wanted, it didn't work. We found you and you're here now."
Daniel nodded, closing his eyes as the tears began to fall once again. "And I'm grateful for that, but Jack, they…they on purposely took my memories away. The trial, they told me the charges and then told me the sentence."
"What sentence?" Jack asked.
Daniel wrapped an arm around one of Jack's and squeezed tightly as he tried to get even closer to the older man. "To be alone and to not have any memory of you what so ever."
Jack pulled back slightly to look into Daniel's eyes. Daniel didn't know what his lover was looking for or what he was seeing, but he took comfort in the love that was shinning through those brown eyes.
"They on purposely made you forget?"
"About us," Daniel continued. "They didn't want me to remember our relationship. They wanted me to suffer and it worked. God Jack, when I couldn't remember us, there was always this pain in my chest that only got worst the more time I spent on Vis Urban. When I came back the pain dulled somewhat, but it was still there. It was because the pain had dulled when you guys found me that finally convinced me to come back to Earth."
Jack ran his fingertips through Daniel's hair, making the younger man sigh in response. "I know, Danny," Jack said softly against Daniel's ear. "I saw, I don't know…I saw something in your eyes when you came out of your tent and told us that you were coming home."
Daniel closed his eyes and leaned against Jack, feeling slightly better now that he had told Jack. "I just can't believe what they did to me," he said softly, so softly Jack almost didn't hear him. "I mean, the ancients are suppose to be this advanced race with higher morals and all that stuff and yet, what they did-"
"I know, Daniel, I know," Jack interrupted before Daniel could make himself all upset again.
They stayed quiet for a moment, just soaking in each other's presence, especially after everything they had been through over the past year.
Jack was finally the one to break the silence. "Oh, Daniel?"
"Umm," Daniel muttered, to content to move at the moment.
"I kept meaning to tell you this and since I remember now, I figured it'd be the best of times."
Daniel pulled his head away from Jack's shoulder for a moment to stare into his lover's eyes. "What?"
Jack smiled. "No more dying and ascending, you hear me. I'm sick and tired of having to chase you all over the galaxy, okay? And, no more forgetting about us poor dumb people here on Earth, k?"
Daniel laughed slightly, bringing up one of his hands to caress Jack's cheek. "You're not dumb, Jack. You can't play the dumb Colonel with me, cause I know you're a lot smarter then you like to let on."
"Darn it," Jack said, shaking his head. "Can't fool you, can I?"
Daniel, still smiling, shook his head. "Nope."
Jack watched Daniel smile for a moment and then said, "You didn't answer my question?"
Daniel leaned forward and kissed Jack slightly, biting the older man's lower lip before saying, "I'll try my best, Jack. That's all I can promise, but I do promise that I'll try to not forget you ever again."
Jack nodded and leaned in for another kiss. "I guess that'll have to do," he said, backing away slightly.
The two continued to kiss softly for another few minutes and then Jack sighed. "We really should go back to bed. You have an appointment with Janet first thing in the morning and I have an early meeting to get to."
Daniel pouted. "Can't we just call in sick?"
Jack laughed. "If you hadn't noticed, Space Monkey, you are already sick and I'm suppose to be taking care of you and how would I do that if I were sick."
"I'm not really sick anymore, Jack. Just tired."
"Well, don't you think we should be headed back to bed then?" Jack asked.
Daniel got an evil glint in his eyes. "I have nothing against going back to bed, but there are more interesting things to do in bed then just sleep," he said, kissing Jack slowly.
"Oh really," Jack said in between kisses. "And what did you have in mind?"
"Oh, I don't know," Daniel answered, kissing jack again and letting one of his hands slip down just under the collar of Jack's robe. "I thought maybe we could, you know."
Jack smiled. "Really? I like the sound of that."
Daniel got up off Jack's lap and pulled the older man up with him. The two of them then went back upstairs where they most definitely didn't sleep, reaffirming their love in many, many forceful unions. Then, in the early hours of the morning, Daniel smiled into Jack's chest and hugged to himself the precious memories of him and Jack that had once been lost but never truly forgotten.
AN: There you have it. Liked it, hated it? Let me know by hitting the review button. I have a story in the works right now that you might want to stick around for if you liked this story. It's the story behind Daniel getting sick and almost dying. Anyways, thanks again to everyone who read this and I hope to hear from you all again on my next story.
Kiya II signing off