A Little More Time
Chapter One
It was one of those early, warm Spring days that come in the beginning of April when you least expect it. One day you're mired in snow and slush and the next, the sun is out, the grass is green, birds are singing, and everything suddenly seems right and good. It was the kind of day when you took a deep breath of the warm air and just had to smile; it was good to be alive. Lee Stetson got out of his Corvette and stood thinking all these things on the sidewalk in front of IFF as he looked up at the sky. A smile broke out on his face as he put his car keys in his pocket and he took the few steps up to the door in one stride. Yes, today was shaping up to be an excellent day.
Lee approached the door to his office with one hand behind his back. He had snatched a tulip from an arrangement on Mrs. Marsten's desk with the intention of surprising his partner. He paused at that thought with his hand on the door and shook his head, smiling. He had been denying the fact that she was indeed his partner for three years and it wasn't until just a few months ago, when she had moved upstairs to the Q Bureau with him, that he had at last given in and admitted that he needed her. Actually, he was beginning to admit that his need for her in his work life was spilling over into his personal life as well. When he could admit that openly to Amanda, however, was another story. He felt he was on the right track, circuitous as it sometimes was, but it was just going to take him a little more time. Smiling again, he opened the door and walked in to the office.
"Amanda," Lee began, but realized she wasn't there. Frowning, Lee took a quick peek in the file room, but no; she wasn't there. He walked over to her desk and placed the tulip in a vase. He noticed her purse and sweater were absent and Lee frowned again. It wasn't like Amanda to be late for work. He sat down at her desk and thumbed through her planner. What he saw scribbled hastily on yesterday's page rubbed him the wrong way immediately: Joe - 7:00.
The door to the office opened to admit Amanda. "Good morning, Lee," Amanda smiled.
"Morning? It's nearly afternoon," Lee grumbled.
"Oh come on! I'm only ten minutes late," Amanda laughed. "Besides, isn't this rather like the pot calling the kettle black, Mr. Punctuality?"
"It's just not like you to be late. Did you have car trouble?" Lee questioned, dreading to hear the real reason.
"No," Amanda answered as she went to the small refrigerator to put fresh half and half away.
Lee waited for an elaboration and when none was forthcoming, he tried again. "So?"
Amanda turned and looked at him. "So?"
Lee stood up in exasperation and walked over to his desk. "So---why were you late?"
Amanda shrugged her shoulders noncommittally. "I overslept."
Lee couldn't help his next comment. "What---late night last night?"
"Yeah."
Lee waited again for an elaboration and again he was disappointed. "So---some kind of last-minute science project one of the boys forgot about?"
"No," Amanda replied, moving behind her desk and sitting down. "What is this, a level One Interrogation?"
"No---just curious," Lee replied.
Amanda glanced down at her open desk calendar. She knew she had closed it before leaving yesterday and Lee had been sitting at her desk when she walked in. Obviously he had seen her "appointment" with Joe---why was he fishing for an answer he already knew?
"It's no big deal really," Amanda said. "Joe came over last night for dinner with the boys and me and he stayed late. I got to bed late and that's why I overslept." Amanda frowned at herself. Why was she explaining herself to Lee?
"Oh," Lee muttered. He crossed his arms and leaned against his desk. "So, what did Joe have to say?" Mentally he kicked himself. This WAS turning into an interrogation.
"Oh, we talked about a lot of little stuff really," Amanda replied.
"When's he going back to Estocia?"
Amanda looked up at that last remark. Was she detecting a note of anxiety in Lee's voice? "He's not."
Lee straightened up at that. "What?"
"He's decided to do work here, in DC. He feels he can do more for Estocia here as an ambassador. Plus, he's anxious to see Philip and Jamie more often."
Lee felt his stomach clench a bit more. Joe was staying in America---and close to Amanda. Lee knew where this was heading; Joe wanted Amanda back. But did Amanda want Joe back?
Amanda was watching Lee, waiting for question number twenty. When he said nothing and sat back down at his desk, Amanda smiled and pulled a few files from her inbox. As she sat there paging through the documents, occasionally making notations, Lee watched her, his feelings in a turmoil. He was suddenly on very shaky ground. He had been taking his time, examining his feelings for Amanda closely before making any kind of move. Had he taken too much time? Lee's thoughts drifted back to what, for him, had been the turning point in their relationship.
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When they had been assigned to the Peter Sacker case, Lee had been his usual, irritated self. Billy had insisted they team up because Amanda knew the back woods country of Virginia extremely well. Francine had made a snide comment about the Junior Trailblazers and what kind of information Amanda possessed, but even though Lee had grumbled, he knew Billy was right. As usual, what should have been an easy assignment had blown up in their faces and they had wound up on the run from Sacker and his militia. Shackled together and trying to stay warm in a swamp at night, he had wrapped his arms around Amanda in order to be more comfortable. Amanda was terrified and Lee had tried to offer her some comforting words.
"I keep thinking of the first time we met---the train station---If I had never given you that package you wouldn't be here now," Lee said, mentally berating himself.
"Oh, come on now, I'm an adult. I knew the risks: no guts no glory," Amanda interrupted.
Lee had spoken to her quietly for a while, trying to assuage her fear and Amanda had smiled at him. "That's one of the things I really like about you; you always find the silver lining."
Lee smiled in return. "Well, it's no business for a pessimist." His arms around her felt somehow right. Unconsciously he had been rubbing her arms up and down, trying to give her a little warmth. Amanda squirmed a bit and then broke the companionable silence.
"Lee…..if we don't make it…."
"Hey…" he had tried to stop that line of thinking, but Amanda plowed on, not giving him a chance to break her resolve in this.
"If we don't……I just want you to know that……I….." Here Amanda trailed off.
Lee looked at her suddenly. What was she about to say? His hands stopped their movement and he stared at her. She was so close to him, he could feel her breath on his neck and smell her hair. Had she always been this beautiful? Why hadn't he noticed before now?
Amanda cleared her throat nervously and then rushed on with her sentence. "really am glad to have known you." She slumped against his chest, cursing herself for not having the guts to tell him everything. I love you….I have always loved you…. Amanda finished the sentence the right way in her mind, wishing she had it in her to say the words aloud.
Lee smiled and laughed lightly. "The same goes here. To tell you the truth, Amanda, I've learned a lot from you in the last couple of years."
"Really? I always thought I was pretty much of a burden."
"Well, I----really. I have learned a lot about people---about myself---you know, stuff they don't teach you at the Agency." Lee smiled and his hands began their movement up and down her arms again, this time as more of a gentle caress. A small spasm in his back sent him shifting his position, jarring Amanda at the same time. When they had moved to accommodate his back, they were face to face and even closer than before. He looked into her eyes and saw the fear mixed with…? There was another emotion there; one that Lee hadn't noticed before. She smiled nervously at him, giving him the way out of this precarious situation, but he didn't return the smile. Instead, his eyes traveled down to her mouth and he suddenly found himself wondering what it would be like to kiss her…for real. He slowly moved in and she raised her mouth to his, just barely beginning to touch when they were forced apart by the discovery of the militia.
When they were leaving the Agency at the closing of their successful case, Amanda had stopped him in his tracks with a few words.
"Lee, about last night…" she had started, sounding very much like him whenever they had come too close during a case.
"I know, I know. It was just two, cold people seeking a little warmth, right?" He smiled at her, but his eyes didn't reflect the smile. He felt a little…what? Disappointed maybe?
Amanda smiled and played with the zipper on his jacket. She didn't look up right away but then she forced herself to look directly into his eyes as she said, "Not exactly." As soon as the words left her mouth, she turned and walked away, not willing to see the reaction on Lee's face.
Lee's mouth fell open in surprise as he watched her leave. What had she just said? Had she just told him what he thought she had?
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Lee smiled in remembrance of that day, what….about five months ago now? That had been the first time he had stepped back and examined what had been happening in their relationship. Of course he had figured she was slightly interested in him, but that had been the giant slap in the face he had needed. He had never really considered what had been happening over the time they had spent together. He had gone home, poured himself a glass of wine, sat down on his couch, and tried to sort everything out. Here he was, five months later, still trying to decide what to do.
She had been perusing their most recent case---one on the possibility of a prominent Russian nuclear physicist defecting---when Lee cleared his throat. Amanda looked up expectantly.
"So, I guess Joe will be around a lot more now, huh? I mean, he'll be going to ball games, taking them to the movies,….coming for dinner," Lee hedged.
Amanda shrugged, "Yeah, I guess so. It'll be nce to have him around and in the boys' lives."
Lee nodded his head. He tried to appear indifferent, but Amanda had just said it would be nice to have him around. Apparently she still had feelings for him. How strong were they? Suddenly Lee was on uncertain ground again. He had been musing over his feelings for Amanda for quite a while and it was relatively recently that he had come to the decision that perhaps he could admit this to her. He was not the type to get involved in serious relationships---well at least he didn't used to be. He knew that if he took the next step with Amanda, he'd have to be committed to a serious relationship. It was that fact that had scared him and kept him from opening up to her. Over the last three years, though, she had persistently and, at first, irritatingly maintained a tenacious grip on his life. She never intruded---that wasn't like her---but she had steadfastly refused to give up on him. He was a different man from what he had been three years ago. Francine had spoken to him about it just recently. It was one of those rare moments when they were just chatting amicably without any of the sarcastic ripostes they normally engaged in.
"You know, Lee, you've really changed a lot over the last few years," Francine had remarked following Lee's story about a young Iranian boy whose life he had saved. He had made a comment about how proud he was of the boy's bravery.
"You sound like the boy's father. What happened to you? Kids used to send you running for cover…or at least for Amanda," Francine had laughed.
"Yeah, well---it felt good to be able to help him. He wasn't your average eight year old. I don't know, maybe I'm just mellowing with age," Lee had laughed.
Lee realized now, however, that it wasn't so much that he was mellowing with age as it was Amanda's influence on him. The thought now that he had taken her feelings for granted began nagging him. He wasn't blind and he knew he could read women pretty well---even Amanda who had so often appeared to be an enigma. He'd worked with her closely and the few times recently that he had begun to put a few feelers out, he'd been rewarded with the confirmation of his suspicions. A few shy, secretive smiles when she thought he wasn't looking, her hand seeking his, entwining fingers looking for support, her reaction to his hand on the small of her back or at an embrace; these were the signs of a woman falling in love. Or at least so he had thought. He looked at her sitting at her desk and sighed. Why had it taken him so long to notice how beautiful she was? Someone had once complimented her on how lovely her face was what with her almond-shaped eyes and fair complexion. She did indeed have the most beautiful, deep brown eyes he had ever seen.
He was lost in his contemplation of her when he heard her clear her throat. He suddenly realized she was watching him stare at her and he shook himself mentally.
"Lee, what's wrong? You seem so preoccupied," Amanda questioned.
"Amanda, I was wondering---what are you doing tonight? If you're free---," Lee began when suddenly the door opened and Billy Melrose entered their office.
"Lee---Amanda, we just got word that Uri Andropov is definitely defecting. We've set things up for 3:00 this afternoon. It should be relatively simple. It's a low-level risk, but I want you two to handle it just the same. Here's the information on the location. What do you think?" Billy was all business, but he smiled at Amanda when he handed her the dossier.
Lee stood up to move next to Amanda. Glancing over her shoulder, he nodded his approval. "Good set-up---actually, one of the better ones I've seen. This should be a piece of cake."
"Good---that's what I like to hear. Make sure the back-up is in place just the same. Do you two think you can handle it on your own?" Billy asked.
"Yeah, I don't see a problem. What do you think, Amanda?" Lee questioned.
Amanda nodded in agreement, still intently perusing the file. Billy smiled at Lee's deference to her. That certainly wasn't something he would have expected of Lee just a few months back. Amanda certainly had changed this lone wolf agent!
"Okay, I'll leave the details up to you. See you later," Billy said as he left himself out the door.
Lee was still standing next to Amanda, but he was no longer looking over her shoulder at the file; he was looking at where her neck met her shoulders. The combination of her perfume and the sheer proximity of her had Lee thinking of nothing else but letting his mouth trace gentle kisses along the contours of her throat. He unconsciously leaned in a little closer.
Amanda was still looking at the information on the defection, but she hadn't been registering anything since Lee had stepped so close to her. She could smell his cologne and feel his breath on her neck. Her scalp was tingling and her heart started beating more quickly. She closed her eyes as she imagined what it would feel like to have his mouth on her neck. Was it her imagination or had he moved in closer to her? She leaned back a hair, enough to just barely make contact with him.
"Amanda," Lee whispered hoarsely. Could he tell her? Could he take that chance? "Amanda, I…"
The phone rang and Amanda jumped as if she had been stung by a bee. "Oh!" She gasped in surprise.
Lee swore to himself and moved to his desk to answer the incessant ringing. "Yeah?!" He nearly shouted, frustrated beyond all reason.
Amanda put the file folder down on her desk and clasped her hands tightly behind her back, lest Lee see them shaking. What had almost happened? Had he been about to say something to her that she had only dreamed of him saying? Had he been about to kiss her?
"Just a minute," Lee said tersely into the phone. He held it out to her. "It's for you."
Amanda took the phone and managed a strangled sounding, "Hello?"
Lee sat at his desk and ran his hands through his hair. He was shaking and couldn't believe it. What the hell was wrong with him? He was no teenage school boy trying to work up the nerve to kiss his first girl. So why was he acting like it? And of all people to make him feel that way, Amanda?!
"Oh---tonight?" Amanda questioned into the phone. "Yeah, actually---that would probably be great."
Lee looked up at that comment. Was it Joe calling already? They had just been together last night, for Pete's sake! Maybe he had underestimated the seriousness of the situation here.
"Okay, I'll make sure they're ready. Me? Uh---," Amanda glanced at Lee. It was Joe and he wanted to take the boys to a movie tonight. He had just invited her, but Lee had started to ask her about something tonight. Was he going to ask her out? "Uh, no, Joe. Thanks anyway."
Lee let out a breath that he had no idea he had been holding. That was a good sign, right? God, this was so frustrating! He had NEVER been on such uncertain territory before in his entire life! He knew that this whole Amanda question had turned serious when he had found himself no longer returning phone calls from the women in his black book. Leslie had been the first real clue to him that something had changed…
"All right, I'll see you then," Amanda returned in way of good-bye as she hung up the phone.
"Joe again?" Lee asked, trying to appear casual.
"Yep. He wants to take the boys to the movies tonight."
"Just the boys?" Lee grimaced as soon as he said the words. Very coolly played, Stetson!
"No---he asked if I wanted to go, too." Amanda paused. Come on, Lee, don't disappoint me---ask me if I have other plans!
"Oh, so you have other plans, then?"
Amanda couldn't help the smile that broke out on her face. "Well, not exactly. At least not yet…" she trailed off.
"Mmmm---sounds like a nice, quiet evening at home for you," Lee replied. Should he ask?
"Yeah, I guess so," Amanda commented. Wasn't he going to ask?
Lee Stetson, top-notch agent who never quailed at any dangerous situation, lost his nerve with the housewife from Arlington. "Well, I guess we better get everything in line for Dr. Andropov's defection, huh?" Oh, Stetson---that was awful!
Amanda's smile felt suddenly forced and false. "Yeah, I guess so. I'll work on the safehouse and all the regular details for his new life," she said dully.
Lee looked at her as she got up from her desk. She picked up her purse and walked out, shutting the door a bit loudly. Lee slumped in his chair and shook his head. This was so ridiculous! Why was it so difficult for him to ask her out? Lee shook his head and started looking through the files on his desk, but it was useless. Until he got the entire Amanda problem resolved in his mind, he wouldn't be able to concentrate on his work. He got up and poured himself a cup of coffee and walked over to the window. He looked down at the street below, watching a few people walk by. One woman got out of a cab across the street and hurriedly dashed up the steps to a law office. She reminded him a bit of Leslie.
Now THAT had been a mess, hadn't it? Leslie had been the gentle tapping at the door of reality before the pounding that had been the Sacker case. She had been a far cry from his normal array of women. She was intelligent, had a job that didn't require her to dress in some kind of skimpy outfit, and was basically a brunette who was "normal". Lee smiled at that. Those had been Amanda's words, not his. "She's not right for you. She's normal." Boy, that relationship had really gotten Amanda's dander up. He couldn't recall ever seeing her quite so…so…well, jealous. Her reaction had at first bristled him, but then he had begun thinking about what she had said. Leslie was more normal than any woman he had ever dated before. What had attracted him to her? She had a slender build, was smart, charming, funny, attractive; face it, she had been very similar to Amanda.
He had dated Leslie for a while, but had never once made the move to further their relationship. As a matter of fact, when their kissing began to get heated and Leslie began to take the initiative, Lee had always found some excuse to stop things before they went any farther. She had begun to get annoyed, not that he could blame her, and the final coup d'etat came when they were out for a romantic, candlelight dinner. He had been preoccupied all evening, thinking about Amanda and Leslie had begun to get irritated with him. She made a comment to him and he apologized for being so distant. He pulled her closer to him, began to kiss her, and then….it happened. He whispered her name as he moved to kiss her neck and she had stiffened and pushed him away. He looked at her confusedly and she glared back at him for a moment. "You just called me Amanda."
Lee's eyes had widened and he denied it, but he knew he had done it. Leslie had been gracious enough to not dump her water on him and had left him with the parting comment that Amanda was a lucky woman to have captured him the way she had. He had sat there for quite a while, dumbfounded at what had happened, and not a little scared. Was that really it? Could he really be unconsciously interested in Amanda? It wasn't too much later that the Sacker case had happened, only about four months by his recollection, and then the rest was history.
Lee sat back down at his desk and rubbed his hand over his face, letting his chin come to rest in the palm of his hand. There had been a few incidents not too long ago where he had come pretty close to kissing her. Each time they had been interrupted and he had backed off. He had been putting on the old Scarecrow charm with each of the incidents and even though Amanda hadn't seemed to mind, he didn't want their first "real" kiss to be the same kind he had delivered to his other women in the past. No, when he kissed Amanda, he wanted it to be real; he wanted it to be heartfelt. And that was what finally led him to realize that it was time to get off his duff and take the initiative with her. If she was capable of making him feel that way, then he knew he had to press on. As much as serious relationships scared him, the prospect of one with Amanda didn't. After all, wasn't he already involved with her in a longtime, serious relationship of sorts now? He had known her for three years; how much more sure did he need to be?
Lee set his empty coffee cup down and stretched. He was feeling much better now that he had reached a decision. And he would ask Amanda out tonight when next he saw her.