Chapter Two: Victory and Defeat

"Where's Malfoy?"

"Outside… at the Quidditch pitch…"

"Again?"

"He'll be there forever…"

The blond man stood in the middle of the field, staring up at the tall goal posts. Even though the silence ran throughout the entire field, the echo of past cheers and laughter reverberated in his mind. Almost like ghosts, the images of time gone long ago crawled up his mind and filled his memories with regret and longing. The moments he let slip through his fingers, wasted away, made him bitter, and he yearned for nothing more than to go back… but even if he could, he couldn't change the past.

"How long are you planning to be here?"

Behind him came the brown and bushy haired young woman. She was carrying two steaming mugs. On her face was the kind of bittersweet smile that expressed that she knew well what was going through his mind.

"As long as it takes," he whispered, more to himself than to the newcomer. She offered him one of the teas she held and stood next to him, silently sipping on her own.

"No matter what I do, he'll never come back…" he whispered once more.

Hermione next to him contented herself by merely sighing. She knew nothing she could say would make him feel any better. "Come inside," she said, "it's getting late"

For the first time that day since he had left the castle he took heed of the time. The sky was tainted orange and dark blue. He turned to look over at the forbidden forest.

"Remember when we went in there during our first year?" asked Hermione following his sight.

"How could I forget," he said in a louder way, "it took me about a week to recover from the fright" He smiled, his eyes lost in memory.

Finally he obliged with Hermione's request and followed her inside, up to her quarters where Ron was busy packing.

"You leaving?" asked the pale, blond man when he entered the room and discovered that Ron was moving back and forth stuffing various belongings into one tiny suitcase. He paused to give Hermione a quick peck on the cheek and then carried on with his work.

"I must" Ron answered. "School will start here soon and my break from work is over."

"Oh…"

The suitcase was obviously bewitched since Ron managed to pack even his broomstick without too much effort. After he'd gone around the place one last time to check he'd gotten everything, he finally closed the suitcase and went over to where Hermione and Draco stood watching him to wrap his arms around his fiancée's waist. Draco's eyes darted towards this gesture and he looked away, some sort of sadness in his face. Hermione didn't fail to notice this and tried to amend things.

"Let's go down and have dinner together"

"I'm not really hungry," mumbled Draco.

"Nonsense, come on" she dragged both men by their wrists behind her until they were safely inside the Great Hall. Already there were Professor MacGonagall, Professor Snape and Hagrid.

"Good evenin'" boomed Hagrid in a cheerful voice.

"Evening Hagrid, professors" nodded Hermione. Both professors nodded back and the newcomers took seats in front of them.

" When will you be leaving Ron?" asked Hagrid.

"As soon as Hermione let's me go," grinned Ron back. "But actually I must go real soon. I wouldn't want to be in the way of the new batch of students."

Hermione could see that Malfoy at her left was thinking seriously after Ron's words.

"Then I should probably leave soon too," he said. Everyone in the table turned to look at him. "I mean, I don't really have much to do here anyways… the main reason I wanted to come here for was to catch up on what happened to the people I left behind… but that's all covered now. I guess it's time for me to catch up on some other things…" Draco tried his best to give them all an honest smile, but he had never been one to smile often.

"Don't worry mister Malfoy, you are welcome to stay here for as long as you like" replied MacGonagall in an affectionate way. Draco might've never been her favourite student while he was at Hogwarts, but things tend to change with time, and a lot had changed for them in so very few years.

"But I…"

"Whatever you are about to say is out of the question, Draco" interrupted Hermione. "Times have been hard on all of us. It's only fair that you get a hand to get yourself back up on your feet once more" she smiled sweetly at him, "we all need it once in a while…"

Draco found himself nodding.

"Good, then let's eat and quit all the talking, I don't know about you, but I'm really hungry."

The rest of the meal went by peacefully. It had been a long time since Draco had last dined with anyone. It felt good to have company once again, but he was certain it could've been better.

XXX XXX XXX

It had been a long time since Harry had last dined all alone. Usually the dinning room had at least two people in it making it look smaller. Now, as he sat there alone, did he realize how incredibly big the place was. The magnitude of the room made him uncomfortable. Harry rolled his newspaper, tucked it safely under one arm, and grabbed his plate along with his glass of juice. He headed for the back garden and sat on the small porch with direct view to his dear Samantha's precious rose garden. The place was very special to her since she loved roses, and it held great significance to both, since it was right there where Harry had confessed his love to her.

His meal tasted even better there. He had always been fond of open spaces. There was still not much of his past that he could recall, but he was certain he had always loved being outside and feeling the air blowing against him. Something about is was soothing and he almost felt nostalgic, longing for whatever he had left in his past that related to the free flow of the wind.

He sighed, taking one last look at the flowers and continued with his dinner, propping open his newspaper in search of something of interest. The Matthews' would be coming back in three more days, just enough time for Harry to close the deal for good. That day it had taken some hours, but the businessmen he had met in the morning had finally agreed and to celebrate Harry had taken them out for lunch at a fancy restaurant. Tomorrow they'd be looking at contracts and other formalities and the day after that everything was to be signed and filed away. Mr. Matthews had promised to throw a big dinner for them as soon as he got back. Another thing Harry knew was that he wasn't really fond of all those fancy dinners, but for the sake of his new family, he'd do his best to get it all in order.

He finished his dinner and began to make his way towards his bedroom when one of the butlers's intercepted him.

"Sir, you have a long distance phone call"

"I'll take it in my room, thank you." Harry quickened his pace, already certain of the person behind the call. Reaching for his phone, he made himself comfortable on his desk, ready for the long chat that was sure to come. "Hello?"

"HARRY!" squeaked an exited voice.

"Hello Sammy" Harry smiled lovingly at his girlfriend, although she couldn't see him.

"Hello Sammy? Hello Sammy? I'm half way around the planet and all you can say is 'Hello Sammy'? How could you Harry Potter?" whined Samantha in a fake hurt voice. Harry's girlfriend was such a Drama Queen, and he made sure she knew.

"Oh you little drama queen."

"Sorry my king, he, he. How are you?"

"Same as usual. Shouldn't I be the one to ask you that?"

"All right then, go right ahead."

"How are you?"

"Oh Harry! It's been such a wonderful day! We've been everywhere around Venice already. Honestly, mom seems to have a battery charger hidden somewhere because she just can't seem to get enough. She had us walking for nearly six hours before we had something to eat. Good thing the gondola ride was long enough for us to replenish our energies."

"He, he, same ol', same ol'"

"Always… but you know something?"

"No, tell me."

"It could have been better…"

"Oh Sammy, my dear Sammy"

"Don't you dear Sammy me, Potter, I still miss you."

"I know, but guess what?"

"Mmm… you're meeting up with us tomorrow in Paris!"

"Er… not quite."

"Oh well, you told me to guess… I suppose you'll just have to tell me."

"All right then. I have big surprises for all of you once you guys come back"

"Really? What kind of surprises? Oh, wait! You got the deal done?"

"Well, that was already a fact…"

"You're so vain Mr. Potter"

"He, he, I know. No, I've got an even bigger surprise for all of you."

"Then I can't wait to go back"

"You'll just have to wait. In the meantime, make sure you enjoy Paris for both of us"

"I'll try"

"Ok then, I have to go now. Tomorrow's another big day at the company and I have to get up early."

"All right, have a good night and remember to dream about me"

"Sammy! I don't want nightmares!"

"Oh Potter! You'll pay for that"

Harry couldn't see her, but he was sure she was smiling and tears were filling her eyes. She really loved him.

"Don't cry," he said.

"I'm not!" she answered failing to hide her trembling voice.

"If I tell you something nice will you promise not to cry anymore?"

"Ok."

"I have already dreamt about you, even before you left."

"Oh Harry! You fell asleep in the limo again!"

Harry laughed, amazed at how well they knew each other. "I couldn't help it. But I saw you. I always do as soon as I close my eyes."

"Thank you Harry."

"No problem Sam."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Harry hung the phone up. He stared at it for another while before realizing what was he doing. He got up from his desk and got ready to sleep. Only when he was safely tucked in his bed did Harry remember about the dream. It had left his mind for the entire day until Samantha's call. The person in the dream hadn't had a face, but he couldn't recall anyone else with such features. Only Samantha came to his mind so he just left it like that and convinced himself that it had been his girlfriend and no one else. But why had she been sad? Maybe his mind was just playing trick on him. Yes, he decided as he yawned, it was all a product of his fatigue. His girlfriend had sounded perfectly happy and there was no need to worry any further about that dream.

XXX XXX XXX

"Hermione?"

"Yes, Draco, come in."

The door opened and in came a hesitant blonde.

"I need to ask you something."

Hermione lowered her newspaper and Ron turned to look at him from the book he was reading on one of the coaches in Hermione's office. After dinner Draco had gone off to somewhere unknown and they all thought it was best to leave him alone. He still had a lot of things to sort out and surely the best option was to let him do it all by himself.

"What is it Draco?"

Draco sighed heavily. "Can I really stay here for some more time?"

At first Hermione didn't say anything, she just stared at the man before her. She had always been good at reading other people and now her instincts told her that Draco hadn't really meant to ask that. However, she understood a lot of things were still very hard on him and he needed time to recover.

"Of course you can, MacGonagall already told you so."

"But maybe she was just saying it out of pity or something. I really want to know whether I'm in the way or not… if I'm a burden."

"Draco…" Hermione made her way towards him and gently took his arm. She pulled him to sit on one of the many couches in there and kneeled right before him. "That's not really what's bothering you, is it?"

She had originally intended to just drop the subject, but she could see it was slowly eating Draco on the inside. She had once felt that way, but at the time she had had Ron and some other of her friends to support each other. She could only imagine what had Draco gone through all this time with no one to turn to.

Even Ron approached them, not at all jealous or annoyed that Draco had his fiancées attention. He hadn't seen Draco look so human in a very long time. This meant something serious was behind that sad, impenetrable mask of his.

"I…"

"It's all right. You can tell us," said Ron.

"All I want to know is how…" Draco began, decision behind his voice, "how he…" as he neared the end of his question, his voice quavered and his strength left him. A Malfoy never doubted, a Malfoy was never weak, a Malfoy shouldn't feel so lost… How long ago had he stopped being a Malfoy? One last sigh, and everything was out. "I just need to know how he died…" he whispered, a sudden lump caught in his throat when he finished his so dreaded sentence.

Hermione's jaw dropped just a bit, but she caught it on time. Ron's eyes were wide open and she could tell he was as stunned as her. She should've been expecting this, why hadn't she? Draco had torn his eyes from the floor where he had so intently glued them and was now unwilling to let them part from those of Hermione's. She looked uneasy.

"Please… tell me how…"

"We don't know" the hoarse voice that answered had belonged to Ron. Both Draco and Hermione had turned to look at him surprised. He was still staring with wide eyes, but when he realized he was now the center of attention he blinked a couple of times and backed away a bit. His arms firmly crossed in his chest, he began to tell the tale Hermione wasn't strong enough to let out.

"When you disappeared, Harry was feeling real down. I'm telling you, I had never seen him look so terrible in all my years of knowing him… not even when he lost Sirius… Your disappearance hit him hard, and after all you guys went through, I'm not at all surprised he felt that way. He tried looking for you for some time, we all did, but to no avail. You sure were damn good at hiding any trace of yourself…"

"But not even I had any idea of my own whereabouts! I…"

"I know! But at the time, we had no idea. Your mother was the only source we had left after all the searching we did…"

"But my mother was insane!"

"We also knew that, but we had no other option. After looking for you all over the place, we had to turn to the only connection we had left of you, even if it meant trusting a lunatic. Whatever information she might give us could've meant hope. We never thought it would be useful, but Harry was desperate and willing to cling to anything. After questioning her and getting some answers, we decided it was no good, and on the last day before Harry was about to give up on her, we found her… well… dead."

"I knew my mother died, I just had no idea she had taken her life" said Draco trying to ease off the guilt from Ron, "it wasn't your fault."

"She left us a message which made Harry completely break down"

"What did it say?"

"It said 'He would die'" interrupted Hermione, finally deciding to take her part in the conversation. "Harry had asked her some questions… questions we never found out about, but whenever he came out he looked serious and thoughtful, almost convinced that your mother had made sense, even if it just had been for some brief moments. After she left that message, Harry thought of that possibility for the first time during the entire search. With every passing day and fruitless search, he was even more certain that you would've indeed killed yourself."

"But… he… HE SHOULD KNOW BETTER! I ALWAYS TOLD HIM…" Draco was angry and crying. The tears burned his eyes and his fists were shaking.

"HE WAS DESPERATE!" yelled Ron back. "Don't try to blame him for it because you haven't been the only one who suffered. Have you any idea what Harry went through those last years! He was losing his mind! All he had to support him was you, you were his only comfort and you were gone!" Tears were also pouring out of Ron's eyes and this alone made Hermione start crying as well. "He knew we were here for him, but all he ever wanted, all he ever needed was YOU!"

Silence befell the room.

The only sound was the cracking of the fire in the fireplace, the blowing of the wind outside and Hermione's quiet sobs.

"I… I'm sorry…" whispered Draco.

"Well don't be" spat Ron back. "It's late now to be sorry. I don't blame you for what happened, but we all felt useless at the moment. He knew he had us, but he loved you. I've got Hermione now, and I think I understand him. If anything were to happen to her, I'd go mad as well. Nothing we said or did could bring old Harry back, and that pained us the most."

New silence around. Now Hermione's sobs had stopped.

"Two years we went looking for you, two whole years and to no avail. The war wasn't over by then, but Voldemort had been defeated. After that, Harry felt he had no reason to keep on living. More rumours were spread that you had killed yourself and he just couldn't bear it…"

"So how did he…"

"We don't know, I already told you," continued Ron. "All we know is that at the end of the second year, he went to speak to Dumbledore and he never came back. We all wanted for Harry to wait until the war was properly over, but he couldn't. He had gone through a lot ever since he knew he was the only one who could kill Voldemort that he just had to escape. In the end it was Dumbledore the one to tell us that Harry had bid farewell to all of us and taken his life right in front of him. After that, he told us no more.

"Two years later the war ended properly and then it took you three more years to come back… Harry was breaking and he looked bad, even if he had tried to wait for you, he would have never made it in that state."

"I… I… couldn't have come sooner… I was lost, I was confused. All I knew is that I had to come back here for some reason, but at the time I didn't even know where 'here' was, nor what was that reason that forced me to come back. I only knew after I'd heard Harry's name. I knew Harry had been someone special to me and only then did I find a way to return, and a way to recover my lost memories…" finished Draco in a very tired voice now. He was weary and defeated. For the first time in those days did Ron and Hermione truly see how bad had time been on him.

XXX XXX XXX

A/N: I know, I abandoned this fic for some time, just as I have done with so many others. However, I'll never abandon them for good, it's just that it takes me a while to get inspired once again. As you probably noticed, I got inspired and finished this chapter. I really hope you liked it, and I think I'd better warn you once and for all: I've discovered that as soon as I decide to finish it all, this fic is going to be one hell of a tragedy… probably. Oh well, if you really liked it, please review. I love feedback, it keeps me alive.