Author's Note: For those of you whop don't know, my home computer was recently attached by a nasty something from the internet and the hard drive crashed, taking everything I had outlined for this story and the last chapter of the Severus Snape Parody and a brand new one I was working on. So my boyfriend Mark replaced the hard drive, but it just wasn't the same and didn't work right. So now I have a brand spanking new computer. So hopefully I will be able to post new chapters again. Now I have to try and remember what I was going to do in the upcoming chapters.

Chapter Three: Snape's Mother

"Severus?"

Snape looked up from the floor of the corridor deep in the dungeons where he had fallen some time ago in a drunken stupor and had never bothered to get back up again. Seeing that it was the deputy headmistress approaching he merely grunted and returned to looking down again.

"Severus," Professor McGonagall admonished, "This is no way for a Hogwarts teacher to behave, especially during the school year. Get up immediately and let's get you to your quarters."

Not bothering to answer her, Snape attempted to get up, but after consuming so much Firewhiskey, he was finding it difficult to comply with her request.

"Oh for Merlin's sake," she said. "Let me help you." Then she pulled out her wand and cast, moblicorpus charm on him, which caused him to float along with her to his rooms.

x-x-x-x-x

A short time later, Severus Snape found himself sitting in one of his winged back chairs in front of his hearth with a strong mug of coffee being pressed into his hands by the Transfiguration teacher.

"Now, Severus, I understand that some congratulations are in order."

Snape just scowled at her in silence.

She ignored him and pressed on. "You know Severus; they are both good hearted people. Anyone would be proud to have them as their children."

"You can have them," he muttered to her darkly.

"I don't deserve children, not after what I've done to my own," she muttered in return, but he heard it anyway.

After taking a sip of the steaming drink, Snape said nastily, "Oh what great tragedy have you bestowed upon these mythical children?"

Taking a seat across from him she said with a sour look on her face, "Not children, just one child. A son that I had from an affair with an older gentleman I know. Back in those days, a witch wasn't allowed to have a child on her own and I was forced to give the child up for adoption with a pureblood family."

Snape arched an eyebrow.

"You see Severus, that family who took my beautiful little boy in did very bad things to him and treated him awful and I can never forgive myself what I've done to him."

"And just whom was this mysterious older gentleman?" Snape asked silkily.

"Cannot you not guess?"

"The Headmaster?"

McGonagall was silent but nodded in the affirmative.

"Why didn't Albus marry you then?"

However, before she could respond a knock came at the dungeon door and in walked the Headmaster with a twinkle in his eye. "My ears are ringing, someone must be talking about me," he said cheerfully.

"Yes Albus we were," McGonagall said. "I was just telling him about the baby."

Looking slightly worried, Dumbledore said, "Are you certain you should Minerva? Severus has had a terrible shock today, twice."

"I think its best to get these things out into the open, it's been far too long and it may help everyone in the long run."

Dumbledore nodded sagely and turned to a confused looking Potions Master and said, "You see Severus, the child Minerva is referring to was you."

"WHAT?"

"Yes, my dear boy, we are your parents."

Before anyone else could say a word, Severus' mug of coffee lay spilt on the floor and he was racing to the nearest loo to empty the contents of his stomach.

Chuckling, Albus Dumbledore stepped over and grabbed an invisibility cloak off of Harry Potter and said, "You're not the only one who is adept in pulling pranks." Then he held out his hand.

Smiling Harry said, "So it would seem," and handed back to two bags of galleons that he had gotten earlier in the day.

The Headmaster stood with his blue eyes twinkling merrily.

The End!

This is the end of the Severus Snape Parody; I hope you have enjoyed it as much as I have.