Diner Dilemma – Epilogue

A non-descript amount of years later…

"Elizabeth! Jason!" Emily O'Brien wore a grin stretching from ear to ear as she ushered her best friend into the foyer. "Come in, come in. God, we've missed you guys! Take off your coats – just drop them there. Johnny! Get over here! Jason and Elizabeth are back! You have to tell us everything – and don't you dare leave out a single detail, Elizabeth. I haven't left this house for two months, so the best I can do is live vicariously through you."

Elizabeth was laughing as her best friend fairly yanked her from the confines of her pale blue down jacket before chucking it at Johnny to hang in the hall closet. Behind her, Jason was doing his best to keep from playfully rolling his eyes at the redhead's exuberance as he shrugged out of his own leather jacket. Despite the fact that it was barely three degrees outside, he refused to don anything heavier than his favorite jacket. Elizabeth had come to accept the fact that the older man just didn't feel the cold as acutely as she did – instead, she had moved on to resentment.

"We brought you guys presents," the brunette announced as Emily linked their arms together and led her to the family room. "They're in the trunk; we'll get 'em out before we leave."

"Please," Emily huffed, dragging her best friend over to the tan sofa by the windows and pulling her unceremoniously down onto it as Jason and Johnny took up matching armchairs. "No one's talking about you leaving – you just got here! So, tell us, how was Tuscany?"

"Cold," her best friend laughed, sharing a grin with Jason. "But it was so gorgeous, Em. I'm glad we went in the winter, to be honest – everyone goes in the summer months and I just think that winter in Italy is underrated. There's so much going on because of Christmas that it feels like no one over there ever sleeps."

"So what did you guys do?" Emily persisted, folding her legs under her on the couch and looking eagerly back and forth between Elizabeth and Jason. "I mean, you know, besides that honeymoon stuff – because I really don't want to hear about that…yet."

Elizabeth looked over at her husband just in time to see his eyes meet the ceiling and did her best to stifle a laugh at his expense. "Well, we got there just in time for the Santa Cecilia concerts in Siena, which were just fabulous. We'd sit out all night on these wooden benches and just listen to the violins and the harps, and it was so beautiful, Em. Temperatures pretty much stayed in the forties, so it wasn't warm, but it wasn't unbearable, either. Jason drank so much coffee, and I never went anywhere without a thermos full of hot chocolate. We were the crazy, hyped up tourists," she added with a giggle, her platinum wedding ring catching the reflection of the snow outside when she scratched her nose with the cuff of her sweater.

"And then we went to Amelia for the candle ceremonies, which were so…simple, but festive. You definitely don't see anything like that here in America. It was a clear, dark night with a full moon, and we were just lost in a sea of candles."

"It sounds so romantic," Emily sighed dreamily, resting her head on a cushion only for her fingers to come in contact with a stuffed pony. Frowning, she dug the little pink animal out from between the cushions and tossed it over her shoulder onto the carpet. "Where else did you go?"

"There was a fair in Bagni di Lucca that was a lot of fun," Elizabeth replied, adding with considerable pride, "I milked a goat. Jason has pictures."

Her husband was smirking at her from his seat next to Johnny. "Yeah, but then she wanted to take the goat home with her. I said we probably wouldn't be able to get it past Customs, though. There was a lot of pouting after that."

Johnny snickered as Elizabeth glared at the older mechanic. "So, Jason?" he cut in, glancing at his friend. "What was your favorite stop?"

The other man considered it for a moment. "I liked going back to Siena again right before we left," he replied finally. "The festival of Santa Lucia was going on, and everyone was out in the streets. It was pretty much one gigantic town feast; I've never seen that much food in my life."

"But no pancakes," Elizabeth lamented sadly, playing with a lock of her hair as she winked at her husband.

"Lots of goat meat, though," he amended, tugging on his earlobe. "I've never had it before, and it wasn't that bad. A little gamy, but pretty good. And there was wine. Lots of wine."

"Jason got drunk," the brunette announced cheerfully, ignoring her husband's mock glare. "A couple of the guys in the jockey club found out that we were newlyweds and they plied him with liquor all night. I got some amazing pictures out of the ordeal."

"-Which I already burned," Jason cut in firmly.

"But not the negatives," Elizabeth replied glibly, grinning wickedly when his cerulean orbs widened in alarm. "You have got to see them, Em. Too bad I didn't have a camcorder with me. Hey, did you know that Jason does a mean rendition of Luna Mezzo Mare? Because he seriously gave those Italian boys a run for their money."

The redhead was grinning lasciviously at Jason, who just shook his head and stared at the wall as if he couldn't believe the words coming out of his wife's mouth. "Now that I've got to see – we should get Jason drunk more often."

"He's a fun drunk," Elizabeth nodded, pulling her hair back into a loose ponytail. "Ooh, you wanna hear how he-"

"Hey, let's talk about when you got drunk, Elizabeth," Jason cut in, tipping his chin at his wife, who immediately clamped her mouth shut.

"Never mind."

Emily and Johnny laughed and continued to volley question after question about the honeymoon. Inevitably, the responses brought back memories of their own honeymoon, and Emily was right in the middle of the story of Johnny's unfortunate encounter with a paper-machete ostrich during Carnivál when the walkie-talkie on the endtable emitted a little wail.

"Whoops," her husband muttered, rising from his seat next to Jason. "The baby's up. I'll be right back."

"Aw, I can't wait to see her," Elizabeth cooed, clapping her hands together as Johnny ascended the stairs. "I bet she's just doubled in size over the past three weeks."

"You know it," her best friend nodded. "We're lucky – she's starting to sleep through the night now, so things aren't as crazy around here. And Johnny no longer shows up at work with regurgitated carrots on his tie."

"I bet you're really happy that you're working at home now," the brunette quipped, leaning back on the couch. "Remember when you used to sulk about not being at the office?"

Emily rolled her eyes. "Please – staying at home was the best thing that could have happened to me. I can't even imagine leaving her and going back to the office any time soon."

"Look who's here," Johnny smiled, entering the family room with a two-month old infant in his arms. "It's your Aunt Liz and Uncle Jason."

"Oh, Shannon," Elizabeth cooed, standing up and making her way to Johnny's side to get a better look at her favorite little niece. "Hey, sweetheart. Wow, you've gotten so big!"

"Want to hold her? Here." Johnny was already handing the baby off to the brunette, waiting until her hands were situated properly at the baby's neck and back before letting her go. "She's ready to play now."

"I bet she is," Elizabeth responded, grinning down at the little girl. "You're ready to have some fun, aren't you, angel?" The infant gurgled and waved her tiny, reddish fist in the air, trying to get at it with her mouth, and the brunette smiled and turned to face her husband. "Aw, Jason, look."

"No, Elizabeth," he jokingly ordered, holding a finger up at her. "Put it back."

The brunette glared at the mechanic, making Emily snicker. "Jerk." Ignoring him, she turned her attention back to the little girl, rocking her gently. "Your uncle Jason's a jerk, isn't he? Yes he is! He's just a big fat jerk, isn't he? That's right."

Emily watched as Jason grinned, shaking his head and leaning back comfortably in his chair. "So, Jason, ready to open up the garage again?"

The blonde shook his head, slicing a hand through the air to emphasize the negation. "I'm not even going to think about opening it for at least two more weeks. Lorenzo's sending over four or five SUVs to be outfitted, so I'm going to be busy with that alone. I can afford to put off reopening for a couple more weeks."

"That's nice," Emily nodded, running a hand through her silky red hair. There was a time when she hadn't thought very highly of Jason Morgan, but he had surprised her. Ever since he and Elizabeth had gotten involved, the brunette had insisted on the four of them hanging out together, and Emily was surprised to find that it wasn't nearly as difficult to carry on a conversation with the man as she had once thought. He appeared surly and reticent to those who didn't know him very well, but Jason was quite friendly toward those he was comfortable around. "You get to take it easy for a little while, decompress. What about you, Liz?"

"I'm supposed to be organizing my work for the next showing," she replied, still playing with the baby. "But that's not until February, so I don't have to start worrying about it right away. However, classes start at the community center right after New Years', so I have to make sure I'm in good form to teach again."

"Did you get a chance to work on anything new?" Johnny asked, handing his friend one of Shannon's favorite soft rattles. The Vagabound gallery had recruited Elizabeth about two years ago; it was a small, indie, youth-culture gallery that made a point to showcase young artists and their works of art and sculpture and film. She had gained considerable press since then and things were going very well, but the brunette still managed to find time to teach ballet at the community center. He knew, though, that it was a challenge sometimes to keep on top of everything.

"Not yet," the brunette sighed, shaking the rattle just out of reach of Shannon's little fingers. "But I'm totally inspired from the trip, so I'm not worried at all. I can't wait to get back home and pull out a new canvas to work on; I've got so many great ideas bouncing around in my head that the only problem is deciding which one to shoot for first!"

"Speaking of fabulous ideas," Emily interjected with a wicked grin as she rose from the couch. "I have to show you something. Be right back." She ducked out of the room quickly and could be heard rummaging in the hall closet. A moment later, the redhead returned with a heavy white box, which she set down on the floor as soon as she could. "Ta-da!"

"Oh, my God, Em! Your book!" Elizabeth couldn't help but squeal at the sight of Emily's first paperback collection of columns, and the brunette handed Shannon over to Jason. "Let's see. Oh, wow. Look at you – you're a published writer!"

"And I couldn't have done it without you!" Emily grinned back, handing her best friend a shiny paperback. "They were printed last week and I just got them in a couple days ago. They're out on shelves in February, so we have a long time to go. But I kept you in the dark about it for so long, and now I can finally show you. Here – here's yours."

"I love the cover," she replied immediately, inspecting the animated drawing and then the title scrawled across the top in chicken scratch typeface. "Diner Dilemma? Why did you call it that? I thought it was just a collection of some of your columns."

Johnny let out a troubled sigh as he took his daughter from Jason and got her settled in the small crib, motioning to the mechanic that he might want to back away a few steps in preparation for what would happen next.

"Well, yeah, it is," Emily replied. "I've been working overtime for a while now to get my weekly column out for the paper and get a bunch written exclusively for this book. Irene and I have been brainstorming forever, and she was the one that suggested that instead of doing a compilation, I try to go for a theme. So I picked one."

Elizabeth had yet to open the paperback. Instead, she was staring at her best friend with narrowed eyes, studying her carefully. "Do I even want to know?"

"Hey, hey, I think you'll like it," the redhead replied sweetly, batting her lashes and becoming the very image of innocence. "It's all girly and mushy and sweet – it's about finding love. What could be more awesome than that?"

"Finding love, huh?" Elizabeth scanned the description on the back cover as well as the quotes from a couple of other little-known writers. "So what's with the title?"

"Well…the title was actually Irene's idea," Emily replied, referring to her publisher and the guiding force behind the collection. "She helped me organize different motifs for each column and plan out the flow, and then we picked the order together. It was hard to get started at first, because I knew I wanted to make this book a bit more personal than my columns, you know?"

"That doesn't explain the title."

The redhead frowned at her humorless friend, exasperated. "Okay, Liz, calm down a sec and let me get there, will you? So I knew I wanted actual characters instead of, like, hypothetical characters like I use in my column. So then came the problem – how much would be character-driven content and how much would be Emily-snark? Irene helped me get through that by suggesting that I, you know, take things…from everyday life.

"I need a soda," Johnny announced loudly and as cheerfully as he could. "Jason?"

"I'm okay-"

"Good, let's get you one!" Confused by the Irishman's warning glare, the mechanic nevertheless followed him out of the family room to the kitchen as Elizabeth advanced on her best friend.

"Whose everyday life, Em?"

That was the last he heard as he stepped into the Spanish-tiled kitchen where Johnny was rummaging through the refrigerator. "What was that all about?"

The Irishman stood, holding a beer in his hand and extending a bottle toward Jason. "Just wait – you'll find out."

The mechanic shrugged and opened his bottle, taking a pull as he skimmed the back cover of Emily's book before flipping it open to somewhere in the middle. He was just starting to wade through the columnist's disjointed commentary when the book was yanked from his hand, and Jason looked up to see a grim Johnny shaking his head as he tossed the book onto the island.

"Trust me, you don't want to do that."

"What?"

"You're better off not reading it, man," was all his friend said as he took another long pull of his beer and walked toward the cabinets on the far wall to grab some chips.

That confused him; Jason had never met a man as supportive of the psychotic, flighty woman in his life as Johnny O'Brien, and his actions had thrown him for a loop. Maybe Johnny hadn't liked the book – maybe it was just fluffy chick lit. Or maybe-

"HOW THE HELL IS THIS LEGAL!"

Elizabeth's enraged yell made him jump, and as Jason whirled around in bewilderment, he noticed that Johnny didn't seem the least bit surprised.

"Well, the fact that I wrote it in my own words-"

"Emily Bowen O'Brien! This whole thing is about me!"

"No, no, it's about Lena Webster, a twenty-two year old actress in a Chicagoland suburb-"

"And this – Jake Morrissey? Is that supposed to be Jason!"

The mechanic raised a brow at Johnny, who only shrugged his shoulders in defeat. "What can I say, man?" the editor asked. "It's Emily's world – we all just screw around in it."

"No, Jake Morrissey is a flannel-wearing diner owner who-"

"Neanderthal! What the hell? My husband is NOT a neanderthal!"

"No, your husband's not," they heard Emily agree. "But Jake Morrissey is, especially when he flips out at Amelia O'Malley, Elizab- I mean, Lena's well-meaning best friend who only wanted a straight answer and didn't deserve to have her head bitten off-"

"No, Amelia didn't deserve to have her head bitten off," Elizabeth could be heard retorting in the other room, "but you sure as hell do!"

"See, now, that's up for debate. One could argue that-"

"One could argue that I could take this book and shove it up your-"

"Woah, woah! Don't I at least get a last request?"

"You have half a minute to make one, starting…twenty-seven seconds ago."

"Flip to the end. Keep going. Keep going. Yeah, there. Now read it."

Johnny and Jason exchanged uneasy glances as they waited for another explosion.

"There, did you read it? Now isn't that nice? Doesn't it all end happily? Aren't Lena and Jake together and happy and in love and disgusting? Honestly, if they were any cuter at the end, they'd be puppies. Pink puppies. Pink puppies with heart-shaped spots on their coats. What can you possibly dislike about that?"

"Well…"

"Everyone's together and in love and it's happy. And isn't that all that matters?"

"I don't think-"

"And if I entertain your crazy theory that this whole thing somehow resembles you and Jason, can I add that no one who reads it will even know?…I mean, outside of the people of Port Charles, of course. And no one listens to us, anyway, so let's not think about that."

"But-"

"So doesn't that just about take care of everything? You have your man…Lena has her man…I have my book…Isn't that all good? Nothing to be mad about, right?"

"I really just want to kill you slowly right now. I'm not going to lie."

"But you won't kill me slowly?"

"…No."

"Because you realize that you love me and I'm awesome and your life would be horribly empty with only the neander- I mean, Jason to keep you company?"

"Because we have capital punishment in New York and I don't think I'll be able to beat the rap."

"Oh." Johnny and Jason waited, safely out of sight and out of mind in the kitchen, as Emily thought. "I'll take what I can get. Can I ask a favor, though?"

"Do you really think you're in any position to ask me for a favor?"

"Do you really think that's going to stop me?"

"Fine. What do you want?"

"Can you and Jason, like…do something? Keep me entertained? Because honestly, I could use the material for my next book."

The End.

Note: That brings us to the end of yet another story, and I couldn't be happier. I just love moving stories from the In-Progress section at Solo Ensemble to the Completed section. I want to thank everyone who has read this story from the beginning or even somewhere in the middle or close to the end. This was, I believe, the second full-length story I attempted back when I was a loser-newbie, and while I personally don't think it's all that great, I won't insult those of you who do by ripping on it.

I guess it's all just a matter of one's style changing and adapting, especially with age and education. I can look back on this and smack my head my head and think, "Dear God, what was I doing! The stuff I'm writing now – like the flash fic series – is so much better! Yikes!" But of course, in about two years, I'll probably be ripping on my current flash fic series, which I absolutely adore at this point in time. What can I say? I'm fickle that way.

Thank you to everyone for your feedback and your support. Special thanks to Irene, who took an interest in this story way back in the day and convinced me to continue it past the four parts I had originally planned. I know it didn't quite turn out the way we planned it, Irene, but I think it's fitting. Thank you also to the K9P2, my very own support group. I can still hardly believe the hilarity that has ensued from my getting to know each of you special gals; thank you for your faith and kind words and general psychoticness.

That's about it. Thanks.