Lessons in Love
GreyEyedScrewUp
Chapter One Farm Animals and Head Commons
Sirius Black looked up from his explosive (literally) game of exploding snap against Peter to see his best mate run into the dormitory, slam the door hurriedly behind him, lock it with a charm, and turning around with a psychotically-wide grin on his face. Sirius turned back to the game."Hey James" he said calmly. Obviously this manner of arrival was quite typical of the dashingly-handsome, seventeen-year-old head boy.
"Hello Sirius, Peter." James replied, panting heavily for breath. He looked around the room for a moment, confusing crossing his features. "Where's-"
"Oy, Padfoot! How many times have a warned you that the toilet is not a place to hide- oh hello James, where've you been?" Remus Lupin, the subject of James's uncompleted question, walked out of the dormitory bathroom, and smiled at his friend. His smile immediately feel as he noticed James panting for breath, clutching his hand tightly in his hand, and with maniac grin still intact.
"How long are we going to be in detention for?" He asked of James moodily.
"Why, I can assure you I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about my dear Moony!" James said with a innocent, child-like smile.
James had barely finished his sentence when suddenly there was a loud, ear-splitting scream to be heard. All four boys immediately placed their hands over their ears in effort to block out the hideous noise.
"Good God Prongs! Did you let a bloody banshee into the common room!" Sirius attempted to shout about the noise.
"What!"
"I SAID, DID YOU LET A BAN-"
"JAMES POTTER GET YOUR ARSE DOWN HERE, THIS INSTANT!"
At the sound of the yell, James's maniac grin appeared once again. The three remaining boys, stared at him in shock, there eyes widening with realization.
"I'm afraid we're facing much worse than a banshee, Padfoot my friend." Remus said. A smile spread across Sirius's face.
"What'd you do?" He asked.
His question was answered only by more screams, this time much closer, and pounding on the dormitory door.
"POTTER OPEN THE DOOR!"
"Who is it?" James called
"POTTER OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!"
"Can I hear a 'please'?"
"POTTER OPEN THE DAMN DOOR OR I'LL BLOW IT AND YOU ALL THE WAY TO-"
But exactly where James and his door would have gotten blown to we'll never know, because at that exact moment, James opened the door.
In front of him stood a very, very angry red head. So angry in fact, that her face was almost as red as her astonishingly bright hair.
"Can I help you?" He asked, throwing on his most charming grin. The red head, known far and wide not only for her explosive temper, but also her unmatched study habits, reached up with one slender hand, and grabbed James's tie. Using this, she pulled the much taller boy down to her eye level, his face only inches from hers.
"Change. Them. Back." She said in a fierce whisper that was more frightening than any shout.
"Change what back, Lily?" he asked. She let go of his tie, and he straightened himself.
"That's 'Evans' to you, Potter, and you know quite well what I'm talking about."
"I can assure you I don't, Lily." He said, ignoring her request for use of her surname only.
"JAMES POTTER!" she yelled again, her small hands balling themselves into fists at her sides.
"No need to shout, Lily! Why don't you come inside?" He asked, stepping aside to let her in. She ignored him.
"James Potter, change my books back or I swear to Merlin you will never see a quidditch pitch again!"
James seemed to take a moment to ponder her threat. "You can't kick me off the team." He informed her. She glared at him.
"No, but you can't play quidditch with missing limbs, can you?"
"Depends, what limbs will I be missing?"
"POTTER!"
"Call me James." This was getting more and more amusing by the second, James thought.
"POTTER IF YOU DON'T CHANGE THEM I'M TAKING 200 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!"
"So? I'm Head Boy, Lily, I can just give them back again."
The read-head, more commonly known as Lily Evans, opened her mouth to answer with another threat, but before she could, she was interrupted by the sound of a flushing toilet. She quirked an eyebrow at James, before standing on her tip toes and looking curiously over his shoulder. She saw Remus Lupin and Sirius Black exchange wide-eyed, horror-filled looks, and saw the fourth and only missing boy, Peter something-or-other, walk out from the bathroom.
"PETER!" Both Remus and Sirius yelled at the same time, right before the sound of explosions began to racket through the room.
"What the-" Lily began, and she saw Remus and Sirius both run to the bathroom, knocking Peter to the floor, before James moved and blocked her view.
"Why don't we go see about those books, huh Carrot Top?" James asked suddenly, taking a big step forward and shutting the door behind him.
"What's going on in th- Carrot Top!" she yelled in disgust, her eyes snapping once more to James and way from the now closed door.
"I thought you'd like that." James replied as he grabbed her arm and began leading her down the stairway to the common room. Lily looked over her shoulder on the way down, seeing brightly colored sparks coming from underneath the door, and hearing the muffled yells of James's friends over the explosions.
One shout that she heard particularly well, sounded like Remus yelling "What did I tell you, Sirius? Never hide the fireworks in the bathroom, you think you would learn!"
"Well how was I supposed to know Wormtail would go and flush the toilet!" she heard the voice of Sirius shout in his defense.
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"So what exactly seems to be the problem, Ms. Evans?" James asked as he surveyed the seventh year girls dormitory.
"What's the problem! YOU TRANSFIGURED MY ENTIRE BOOKSHELF WORTH OF BOOKS INTO FARM ANIMALS!"
"Aaaaaand……?" James asked, just to see Lily loose her temper again. It was quite a fun thing to watch.
"AND WHAT! CHANGE THEM BACK!"
"Alright, alright, no need to shout Lily, all you had to do was ask."
"I- wait…. I did- You prat! Just change them back!"
"You know, it's only a simple transfiguration spell, you think you'd be able to do it yourself, being at the top of the class and all…." James watched in amusement as Lily's eyes grew dangerously dark with anger "…. Oh wait…. I forgot…. I'M at the top of that class! My mistake." He smiled cockily at her.
"Oh that's the last straw Potter."
She pulled out her wand, and James took off, out the door and down the stairs. Lily was right behind him, shouting a range of curses at his back. He jumped the banister at the bottom of the stairs, barely avoiding Lily's jelly legs spell.
She cast a binding spell, aiming at his chest, but hitting his legs instead. James, not prepared for the attack, toppled over, crashing into the common room couch (which was luckily free of any Gryffindors), and causing it to flip over. He drew hi wand, and cast a spell at Lily, making her hair turn purple. Lily shrieked in rage, before shouting a spell that caused James's skin to become covered in green dots. Before he could react, she yelled out another spell, which James dodged, causing the spell to hit an armchair and burn a hole through it. James stared wide-eyed at the chair, before turning back toward Lily.
A small crowd of Gryffindors had gathered off to the side of the common room, watching the scene with amusement. Sirius, having finally been able to stop the explosion of fireworks, was walking from student to student, taking bets on the duel. Most of the upper level students were very used to these antics between the heads of the school, but the first year Gryffindors stood in shock, not sure how to react to such a scene.
James and Lily both lifted their wands simultaneously, ready to begin another round of attacks, when suddenly a voice interrupted them.
"MS. EVANS! MR. POTTER! WANDS DOWN AT ONCE!"
Both students immediately lowered their wands at the voice of their head of house, Professor McGonagall, and looked around the room to survey the damage. One flipped over couch, one decapitated armchair, and because the door had been left open in the mad dash downstairs, the farm animals from Lily's dormitory were now wandering the stairs and common room.
Lily sighed with relief. They had done for more damage before.
"That is the last straw. I should think that the two heads of the school would have more common sense then to destroy school property! What kind of example are you setting for the rest of the student body! And Mr. Black, give the students back their money at once, this is not a hippogriff race!"
Sirius shot McGonagall a look of pure innocence, before begrudgingly handing the students back their bets.
"James, Lily, follow me." She said sternly, and exited the common room. Lily shot James a death glare, and began following the professor. As she passed James however, she shoved his shoulder lightly, causing him to lose his balance, as his legs were still under the binding curse, and topple over onto the floor.
"That is quite enough, Ms. Evans!" McGonagall scolded, pulling her wand and undoing the spell for James. "Now come along both of you."
James glared at Lily, before heading to the portrait hole. When they reached it, the pair instantly began pushing at each other to walk out first.
"Stop being so childish, that is quite enough! Ms. Evans, ladies first." Lily stuck her tongue out at James, and as she walked past him through the portrait hole, he stuck out his foot and tripped her.
"HONESTLY YOU TWO! 50 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR FOR SUCH IMMATURE BEHAVIOR! NOW I DON'T WANT TO HER A PEEP OUT OF EITHER OF YOU FOR THE REST OF THE WALK. LET'S GO."
This sudden out burst from the professor was enough to make both students behave for the rest of the trip to who-knows-where…. Neither of the students were daring enough to ask the professor where exactly she was taking them.
They both pulled out their wands and undid the spells cast upon them (being enemies did have a plus side- they both knew tons of counter curses by heart) and spent the walk to where ever they were going, shooting dirty looks at each other, while McGonagall massaged her temples and lead the way.
Finally they reached the portrait that lead to the Head's common room. Neither of the two used the room very much, as the idea of living with no one but each other was quite unappealing.
McGonagall turned to face them.
"You are both here by banished from the Gryffindor commons." Both students immediately felt their jaws drop. The professor ignored them and continued "I have already taken away 50 points from Gryffindor, do not make it necessary to remove anymore. You will stay put in your head commons at all times except for meals, and lessons, and nothing else, unless you get permission from myself or the headmaster." Lily opened her mouth to protest, but McGonagall cut her off "You will be allowed use of the library, Ms. Evans, (Lily could sense James rolling his eyes, and resisted the urge to slug him) but restrictions will be set." It was James turn to try and interrupt, but just like Lily, McGonagall was a step ahead of him. "I realize that you are captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team, Mr. Potter, and I will not punish the whole team for your childish behavior. You can schedule practices as necessary, all to be approved by myself or the headmaster, and none more than necessary. You also both have three weeks worth of detention, I will let you know when it is to start. Good day to you both."
With that McGonagall turned on her heel, and stalked away from the pair. They stayed in place for a long while after she could no longer be seen, shock still evident on both their faces. Lily was the first to come to her senses.
"This is all your fault Potter!" she yelled at him, before practically screaming the password at the portrait and entering the common room she unfortunately had to share with James.
"My fault! I don't recall being the one to start throwing curses and blowing up an arm chair!" James yelled in return as he followed her into the common room.
"None of this would have happened if you hadn't transfigured my books into farm animals!" Lily said as she began to ascend the stairs to her dormitory. James headed the opposite direction to his own dormitory.
"That was harmless fun!"
"Nothing you do is harmless!"
"Your just upset because you couldn't change them back yourself!"
"Egotistical part!"
"Know-it-all bookworm!"
"Go to hell, Potter!" Lily screamed as she slammed her door.
"See you there, Evans!" he replied while slamming his door in return.
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Meanwhile, out in the hallway, Dorcas Meadows and Marlene McKinnon (a/n: real characters from OotP, see a/n at end of chapter!), fellow Gryffindors and best friends to Lily Evans, were on their way to Gryffindor commons with three steams cups of hot cocoa, when they heard the all to familiar yells of their best friend and her favorite Marauder.
"Go to hell Potter!"
SLAM
"See you there Evans!"
SLAM
The two friends looked at each other, simultaneously rolled their eyes, and headed in the direction of the yells.
o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o Disclaimer: I don't own ANY of the characters in this tale that I have created, but I do own the plot! A/N: Dorcas Meadows and Marlene McKinnon are real characters from the books! If you reread the part when Moody is showing Harry the picture from the original order of the phoenix, he mentions both characters. I think its in chapter 9 or 10? I especially wanted to use Dorcas because it says in there that Voldemort killed her personally; she was that important, so I figured she ought to have a big part in my story LoL. Not much is said about Marlene, except that she was killed two weeks after the photo was taken…. Her and her entire family. Anyway that's just a little background info on where I got those characters from, incase anyone was wondering! Please review and give me some feed back! The next chapter should be up in a week or less I hope. Probably this coming weekend. Also, would you guys like a bit of a song or quote or something at the start of each chapter? I would love doing it, but I know for me that such sometimes gets irritating, so let me know your opinion. Like my grandfather always says, if you don't vote, you can't complete about who (or in this case what) gets elected. Thanks much and please review!Love, peace, and chili cheese fries!
GreyEyedScrewUp