Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl, or any other recognizable character that may be found here. I also do not own Lord of the Flies, which is an extremely fantastic book which studies the psychological nature of being human.

Author's Note: I have a notorious reputation of almost never finishing my stories. Yes, I know this is a terrible fault but I must blame it on my lack of zeal to continue anything I have written, and yes, it is extremely irresponsible of me to do as such, but hey, it's me.

Recently, I have read Lord of the Flies which had a profound effect on me. And to my delight, one of my friends mentioned that Artemis Fowl, in his interview (The Artemis Fowl Files) said one of his favourite books was the Lord of the Flies.

The Artemis Fowl Files
Interview with Artemis Fowl II
What is your favourite book?
My favourite book this week is The Lord of the Flies by William Golding. It is a fascinating psychological study of a group of boys stranded on an island. I can't help thinking that if I had been on that island, I would be running the place in a week.

Day 01

Unbelievable.

Artemis rubbed the sore spot at the back of his head and rolled onto his stomach. Silently he cursed his earlier idea of visit the other fairy sites.

He pushed himself slowly to his feet, feeling the ground wriggle and slide beneath him like a slug frying in a pan. Disorientated, he made a grab at a green vine.

As his fingers clamp firmly on the slippery thing, his brain dimly informed him that the texture of this vine was odd and scaly. Alarm bells screamed, and Artemis gasped before he stumbled backwards, his arm getting tangled in the living green rope.

A low hiss sounded at his feet and he jumped backwards when he saw the red forked tongue dart out. The snake glared balefully at him, baring its fangs. Convinced it had gotten its point across, it slithered away into the foliage.

He glanced down at himself and calculated the damage to his clothing.

He sighed – another perfectly good suit ruined.

Absently, he rubbed his forehead, and pulled his finger away when he felt the sharp sting there. His fingers were covered in blood and here, he sighed again.

He dug around with his other hand in his pockets in search of his silk handkerchief, and not finding it, grunted in frustration. Grimacing, he rubbed the blood away on his pant leg.

He consoled himself; the Armani suit was ruined anyway, with all the mud and dead leaves sticking lovingly to it.

Sweat plastered his dark hair to his forehead and he shook of his jacket, feeling the shirt beneath clinging to his back. He folded the jacket over his arm and glanced upwards at the sun.

It was past noon when we flew over here, so if that is west, then… then I am facing north-east.

He felt comforted a little, knowing which way he way facing. However, he had no idea how this little bit of information would help him.

Panic started to rise in his chest before he could suppress it.

' Butler!' he all but screamed.

Immediately, a flock of birds took flight and shrieked in terror, shrouding all possible sounds Butler might have made to tell him where he was.

' Butler!' Artemis was uncomfortable when he heard the desperation in his own voice.

But there was no reply.

Squashing his fear, he turned himself around and around, searching for high ground so he might determine if he really was stuck on an island.

Spotting what looked like a miniature mountain, Artemis resolutely walked towards it, keeping a wary eye out for other odd animals that may see him as a meal.

He pushed himself over a huge fallen log. Sweat was pouring down his face now like the Mekong river. His hands were green and his fingers stuck together because of the sap from the plants. Here and there, bold strokes of brown highlighted his palms.

A sudden rustle in the bushes beside him made his heart leap. The plant convulsed and shook startlingly, emitting frightful grunt and snorts.

Artemis distanced himself from this possessed bush hurriedly. With a high pitch shriek, the bush regurgitated a wild pig.

The sow studied him with little interest and bowed her massive head to root up something from the ground. Little brown and pink piglets nuzzled at her sides.

Artemis gagged at the putrid wild-animal smell. He shuddered and continued his hike.

The sun was relentless on this back and soon, Artemis started to consider removing his shirt. The heat was unbearable and throwing down his jacket, he impatiently unbuttoned his top and pulled it off. He tied the long sleeves around him at his waist and he bent down to roll up his slacks.

His arms were feeling itchy and tired; he tied the jacket around his waist too. The bulge was uncomfortable, but he felt that he would rather look un-presentable and have both hands free than to arrive at the top, sweating and drenched in sweat, scratched up, muddied in his once immaculate but now unrecognisable suit.

His leg wobbled unsteadily beneath him – he was unused to this much exercise.

The rich kid stumbled into a clearing and saw a vision of heaven – a clear pool of water.

He had not realised how thirsty he had become and was only now conscious of how his tongue felt like a swollen lump of cardboard in his mouth.

He stooped by the waters edge and dipped his fingers into the cool liquid. His lips were cracked and bleeding and the water stung slightly as it travelled down his parched throat into his empty stomach.

Finally, he lay panting on his back, his pale stomach exposed to the air. The water sloshed noisily in his insides when he moved to get into a more comfortable position.

He must have dozed off in his exhaustion, because when he awoke, if was a great deal darker than before and his skin was prickling with the rash of sunburn.

His stomach growl disconsolately.

Artemis rubbed the kink in his neck and glanced up at the top of the mountain. Its peak was not far away now, just a few more yards.

Carefully, he picked his way through the jagged teeth of rocks and climbed to the top. Immediately, he felt an immense rush of accomplishment. He had climb this stupid rock and reached its peak unaided!

His fist was pumped into the air in his enthusiasm before he could stop himself. The childish shout of victory was swallowed before it left his throat.

Embarrassed and a bit ashamed of his behaviour, he lowered is arm, feeling the rose tinge in his cheeks.

The sun was setting in the horizon, casting the sea and his surrounding in a brilliant shade of orange. He spun around, studying the coastline and confirmed his belief that he was indeed, marooned on a God forsaken island with no signs of civilisation.

Disappointment flooded him and the night breeze rubbed itself on his body, like an overly affectionate cat. Artemis shivered. It was not just the cold…

He spotted an odd rock that jutted above him, forming a sort of cave and shelter. He ignored the grumbling of his stomach and sardine-ed himself into the warm niche.

It soon grew dark and Artemis closed his eyes and forced himself to sleep.

He had disturbing dreams of caviar and peanut butter milkshakes…

To be continued…

Note: Artemis stay on this God forsaken island will only be for seven long days. See how he copes with having to fend, feed and look after himself until rescue arrives!