Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, nor the characters depicted in it. That's on my to-do list somewhere, though.
So They Said
What a cute couple, they said. They were perfect for each other, they said. It was a match made in Heaven, they said. It may have been made in Heaven, but it's Hell on earth for me.
Kakashi leapt from building to building, running as fast as he could. If only he could get to that place in time… he could find a way to sneak in. They might not find him there.
Suddenly, a figure loomed out of darkness of a side alley.
"What's the matter, Kakashi?" Anko drawled. "Are you scared to face them?" She waved in the direction of Kakashi's pursuers, drawing their attention. "He's over here!" she hollered, before setting out to chase after the rapidly-retreating ninja. Kakashi swore silently under his breath. He had no time to waste trying to convince her that it was pointless. That issue had been settled a long time ago.
Of course, they just had to invite him to the wedding, to show off. And when he refused, he got threats from the bride and heaped scorn from the groom. They didn't give up, though. They used everyone against him – the Hokage, his own former students, the author of his favourite books – everyone. They even sent Ibiki, of all people, to convince him to come. Even Kakashi couldn't hold out for long against that mental sadist. He had been forced to capitulate. They had dragged him kicking and screaming to the wedding. That was the first time he had ever shown so much emotion in public.
Kakashi had passed the outer edges of the village's ramparts and was now trying to clear a path through the forest canopy as fast as he could. He had used all his nin-dogs to try and delay the pursuit, but it was no use. They were simply too strong for the dogs to hold back.
A figure was outlined in the training field. It whipped around swiftly and intercepted him. Fuzzy eyebrows stood face-to-face with him, and green-clad arms blocked his path. "There's no backing out now, Kakashi. You have to face him. It's the meeting of a lifetime!" Pearly-white teeth managed to flash, even in the setting sun's light. Kakashi grunted and sped away in a different direction, followed closely by fuzzy-brows and Anko. His original pursuers were catching up too.
What made it worse were the children. Bad enough that he had been forced to watch them seal their vows to each other, in their own unique style. But when you started to add offspring into the mix, it was horrific. Of course, part of it had been fun. There were quite a few eyebrows raised when the first child was born 7 months after the wedding – and NOT premature. Kakashi had teased them about it then, rubbing it in unmercifully. It all came back to haunt him now.
Which parent would he take after, they asked? What will he grow up to look like? Hokage-sama had even opened a book on the child, taking anything from even odds to 50 to 1. No one expected that he would combine both of their personalities. Kakashi shuddered at the memory. One was bad enough. He was very talented, they said. The makings of a great ninja, they said. Had he been the only one to face the negative outcome of this?
Probably.
Kakashi was growing tired. He had been running and dodging for nearly four hours straight now, and his body wasn't as young as it used to be. Wheezing slightly, he ground to a halt. It was best to face it now, and get it over with. That's what his students always told him. Just like pulling a very painful tooth.
"Kakashi!" a loud voice boomed, as a man carrying two children on his back dropped into the small clearing. Anko and Lee collected a child each, went to the sidelines and started cheerleading. "My eternal rival!"
"Go, Gai-sensei! This time, I know you will be able to defeat him!" Lee yelled, pumping his fists into the air.
"Go father! You're the best! Maito Gai can do ANYTHING!" Fuzzy-brows worked up and down on the boy's excited face, and small white teeth flashed in a brilliant smile.
The little girl next to him put both thumbs up as a sign of support. She had fuzzy brows too. "Make him bleed, father!" she voiced in a tiny, cute, and incredibly vicious squeak. Kakashi groaned inwardly. Anko smiled – evilly. Very…evilly.
"Go, my love! For my sake, you shall win this match! And if you do, I'll treat you to something special when we get back home tonight…" she teased.
Gai turned a slight red, but kept his eyes focused firmly on Kakashi's face.
"Kakashi, my eternal rival! Today is the day of our 1,000th contest! And, in front of my favourite student, my lovely wife and my adorable children, I cannot lose to you!" He gave them all a big thumbs up and a flashy grin, which sent all of them into further hysterics.
Kakashi swore a thousand years of painful torture on the idiot who set up a blind date between Anko and Gai.
Somewhere in the middle of an interrogation, Morino Ibiki sneezed.