Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers - I'm just quite tired right now.
Chapter Fifteen
Zelgadis marched up to General Metallium's office the next morning with a request for a change in command. He wasn't sure whether or not the man would agree to his transfer, but he hoped so. Zel was just stewing in his own juices in Bombay. He had to get out and go to a place that actually needed him – and forget all about Lina properly.
Xellos greeted him warmly, or at least as warmly as was possible for the demon of a man. "So, what can I do for you? Hell, man, you look hung over," he complimented. "Won't you have a seat?"
Zel remained standing and said briskly, "I was wondering if it would be possible for me to take a command in the African conquests."
"Really? You want to go out there? And to think, on the night of your wedding, you wanted to give up the military entirely. See, you're thankful now that I didn't accept your resignation, now aren't you?" Xellos said breezily as he lit his cigarette.
"Yes," Zel acknowledged, rolling his eyes. "Anyway . . ."
"Oh yes, I was going to tell you. I got a letter from your wife the other day."
Zel's face lit up. "You did?"
"Indeed, I did. She said she was coming out to join you and was wondering if I'd secure passage for her as well as accommodations when she arrived."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Zel demanded.
Xellos managed to look blameless as he said, "Obviously, I thought you were in on it. Otherwise, why wouldn't you have arranged her travel plans for her? Obviously you were too busy and needed me to offer a helping hand, which I was more than happy to do."
"Have you responded to her letter?"
"Not exactly . . ." Xellos said slowly.
"Well, you must write her back at once and tell her you can't possibly make such arrangements for her," Zel said, practically reaching across Xellos' desk to grab a quill to write the letter himself.
"Don't be so hasty Colonel," Xellos said, putting a hand on Zelgadis' shoulder. "I think your transfer is a far more important issue at this point. Have a seat and we'll discuss it."
This time Zelgadis actually did sit down. He had to; Xellos was his superior officer. What was he going to say?
Xellos sat down behind his desk and took a long drag on his cigarette. "There is definitely the possibility of a transfer, but it will depend on a few things."
"Like what?" Zelgadis asked seriously, hoping he could trust Xellos to deal fairly with him.
Xellos seemed to be regarding the ceiling most intently. "As far as I'm concerned, you can have it if you want it, but you'll also have to impress General Grasucherra and convince him to give you a recommendation. He and his wife are giving a ball tonight at their home. You were invited, no?"
Zelgadis remembered the number of unopened invitations sitting on his bureau and imagined that one of them was probably from General Grasucherra. "I've probably been invited," Zel said drearily.
"Good. Why don't you attend, put on a good show, and try your best to get that recommendation? But, I'll warn you. You probably won't get it just by one evening alone. You'll probably have to become his fencing partner, and escort his wife to her society functions a time or two when he's not able to attend. You know, that sort of thing."
Zel's jaw just about hit him in the knee as he realized what Xellos was suggesting. Zel hated catering to society, and he would have to do that to get the recommendation? He silently cursed.
"But, if you get it, I'll be very sorry to see you leave Bombay. Even though you don't know it, you're a good man for paperwork and for keeping the men in line. It'll be bad to lose you if you go off to the wilds, but that's really up to you," Xellos said.
"Such praise," Zel said cynically, astounded that Xellos had admitted that he was skilled at anything. It was unlike the general. Did he want something?
"Yes. Disgusting isn't it?" Xellos said, picking up some papers and grinding out his cigarette in the ash tray on his desk. "Now, I have important matters to attend to, so get out. I'll see you at the ball tonight, no doubt, and I'm sure you'll be able to spare a few moments then to discuss what should go in my correspondence to your wife. Charming woman . . ."
Zelgadis wanted to throttle Xellos at this last remark. Not because Lina wasn't a charming woman – she was – but he was burning with rage that Lina had written to Xellos and not to him. He suddenly remembered their dance together the night of the wedding. The sight of Lina pressed into Xellos' arms was wretched, almost painful. Damn him! Zel bowed properly, despite his fury and went into the hallway. He was quickly heading towards his own office - seething.
Zelgadis didn't usually think of himself as the jealous type, but he had never had anything he cared for enough to be jealous when someone intruded on it. He was ashamed by his feelings as he thought himself far more controlled than to be ruled by such petty emotions. Besides, Lina probably just wanted to come so that she could present him with the annulment agreement.
Then suddenly, he stopped dead in his tracks. What if she had confided in Xellos, and told him the reason for her visit? Xellos wasn't married, and Zel had never seen him attached to any woman, but Zel had never before heard the evil general compliment a woman in such a way as he had just complimented Lina. Granted, he had only said a few words to praise her . . . but . . . he never praised anyone! Was it possible that Xellos was planning on making a play for her as soon as the papers were signed? Zelgadis felt sick as he thought of the flattery Xellos had said about him, Zelgadis. Were the things connected?
Why couldn't he get the hell out of here? Well, he'd show them! He'd get his recommendation from General Grasucherra, and he'd do it without playing up to the old fop. Then to hell with Xellos, Rezo, his mother, and most of all – Lina – who didn't care what she'd done to him!
That night, Zelgadis, approached the home of General Grasucherra on horseback. The sun had already set and there were torches burning on the lawn to mark the path for the coachmen who had to drive up to the house. There was a large banner placed above the door frame. It read: The Dance of the Twelfth Moon. Doubtless, everyone inside was having a wonderful time when a ball was entitled something as hopelessly romantic as that, and he would have to put on a reasonably good show himself.
He wasn't near drunk enough to deal with this, he thought sarcastically. Not with his problems.
Zelgadis entered and shook hands with General Dynast Grasucherra and his wife Sherra. He hadn't come early, and he was one of the last people greeted by host and hostess at the door before they went to attend to their guests.
"Were you kept away by work?" Sherra asked innocently.
"A man must do his best with every obligation he's entrusted," Zelgadis said with an amiable smile and a kiss on her gloved hand.
"I see," she said sweetly, bouncing her dark curls. "That's why General Metallium escorted her!"
"Her?"
"Your wife, silly," she said.
Zel involuntarily turned his head to view the crowd and there she was. Red curls tied up, her cheek stained scarlet from the heat, dancing closely with Xellos in the press. She had come! For her to be here now, Xellos must have received that communication with her MONTHS ago and had not told him. He probably arranged for her travel before he left England himself. The whole thing certainly smacked of Xellos; it was exactly like him – the monster.
First, Zel was furious at the sight of seeing her in his arms, and felt that all his suspicions were valid. Or maybe it was the dress she was wearing. Even from where Zelgadis stood, he could see that it was far too daring for the London scene. It was a deep fiery red with deep orange undertones, with hardly any sleeves at all. She and Xellos were laughing together at something – hopefully not at him, or blood would be spilled that night.
It had been a very long time since Zelgadis had last seen Lina, and he couldn't believe her loveliness, but that didn't mean he was going to play the fool. He was too enraged for that. Maybe . . . just maybe, he would be able to face her without crumpling in agony, and finally let her know that it wasn't okay to play him.
He thanked Sherra for pointing Lina out and stepped away so the next people could be welcomed, and invited the challenge of dealing with this awkward situation with confidence.
Then he went down to the dance floor and spotting Naga, asked her if she would like to dance with him. She agreed immediately, and seemed happy that he didn't hold it against her that she thought he was Eris' lover. He span her in the dance, and didn't turn his eyes once to see if Lina had seen him or not, regardless of how much he was tempted to do so. Besides, Naga was the type of woman who was distracting, even with all her bad manners, or perhaps because of them. Zel did this solely because he was certain that Lina had never seen him dance with another woman.
After it was over he returned Naga to her husband and complimented him on his cleverness for having caught such a pretty woman. His name was Halas, but as he tried to thank Zel for his compliment, he was interrupted.
"Certainly, he's trying to make me jealous," a sprightly red head announced, butting in quite rudely, taking her place beside Zel and offering him her hand.
Naga laughed very hard at this.
Zelgadis introduced them at once and then said that he promised the next dance to Lina. He gripped her in his arms as severely as he dared in company and practically hauled her off to the dance floor.
"What are you doing here?" he whispered in her ear violently, as they were pushed together by the whirling dancers.
"I came here to stop you from making a mistake," she rasped into his ear.
"What mistake was that?"
"Leaving me behind in England!"
"That makes no sense," Zel scorned, giving her an unexplainable look of displeasure. "You said quite clearly that you had no interest in accompanying me here to India. Look, I heard what the gypsy woman said to you about me, and I know the truth. You think I'm a monster. So, why did you come here? If it's for the annulment, I'm a gentleman, and I'll be true to my word. Just give me the papers and I'll sign them immediately if that's what you want." He took her hand in his and started leading her into the dance.
"Zel, you've got it all wrong."
"Really? Prove it to me."
"Can't we get out of here?" she asked, looking around at all the people. "Isn't there a place we can go where we can talk privately?"
"No," Zel said sternly. "They haven't even served dinner yet. It would be extraordinarily unimpressive for me to leave before that."
"You're their dog, aren't you?" she asked, looking up at him angrily.
Zel rolled his eyes. "Say whatever pleases you. I have to pay my dues somewhere. Besides, I think I have a much bigger problem on my hands. Where are you staying tonight?"
"With you," she said, looking at the floor.
"With me?" Zel gasped.
"There's no where else, unless you and I want to arrange something. I couldn't tell the general what the real situation was between the two of us, so I had to let him arrange for me to stay with you. You have a room to accommodate two people, don't you?"
"Of course," Zel said, trying to decide if it was worth it to make the arrangements she suggested. Hang it all! He would have to let her share his room with him, but he really didn't want to be anywhere near her when he was this angry. He would have to go somewhere else.
"Then there's no problem," she said saucily.
"What, exactly, Mrs. Greywers, are you trying to do?" Zel asked, deciding that he didn't care who was around to hear. "You don't love me. Why are you acting like you want to be close to me?"
"I told you not to talk to Madam Martina about that night and you did it anyway," she accused.
"And why wasn't I supposed to talk to her?"
"Because, I knew this would happen. You would lose your head and leave immediately, but who ever would have imagined that the damage would be so bad that you'd leave me on our bed of perfume and flower petals to celebrate our wedding on my own? You trusted me that little!" she said harshly into his ear.
He gripped her in his arms tighter and resisted the urge to choke her while getting his turn to violently whisper his response. "So, why didn't you talk to me about my fortune yourself if you knew I would behave like this?"
"You don't understand me or my reasons. If we could be alone for just a few minutes, I know I could help you understand," she pleaded angrily.
"I said I can't leave and I mean it. We'll have to keep talking as discreetly as possible until we sort things out here, or we'll have to get along until the end of the night."
"This is the worst," she fumed, her lower lip pouting in displeasure.
"Don't stumble over your bottom lip," he said coldly, observing her at what he thought was the height of her beauty. She looked incredible when provoked. "Just behave yourself, and we'll get through this. I know you can do it, because I've watched you do it fifty times, and you always manage it with poise. I expect no less from you tonight."
"Listen, Zelgadis, I didn't want to have this conversation here, but I can't wait another damn second to tell you everything. I have traveled for months believing that you hate me, because of what that fool of a woman said, and I can't take it another second." She took a deep breath, "and I don't care who hears me. I've got to tell you everything or I'll go crazy." Then she started her tale. "You remember the first night we met – I kissed you, and I told you it was because I liked how you looked at me. Well, that's true, but it was also because I was very much drawn to you, and if you had been admiring one of the other girls I would have done anything to make you pay attention to me. And when we met the second day, I wouldn't have told you my name if I didn't want you to come looking for me. I was thinking of falling in love with you, but then the very next time I saw you, you came with your interesting little proposal. I admit that I was surprised, and didn't know what to say at first. I mean I didn't know anything about you, but I thought that if I said 'no' you would marry Luna and disappear from my life and I'd never have a chance at you. I couldn't let that happen, so I used Madam Martina as a scapegoat for my own desire to get to know you better. And I couldn't just agree without any reason on my part as to why I would want to participate in a phony marriage, so I decided to let you think it was because I set such store by gypsy story-telling. I like the gypsies very much, but I think that's all rubbish. As if she knows the future! What I mean to say is that, it wouldn't have mattered what she said to you or to me, I would have agreed to your proposal."
Zel gave her a startled expression. "Keep going," he said, fascinated by her speech.
"That's honestly how attracted I was to you, but I still wanted the time we were engaged to get to know you better and to decide how I really felt. Well, it didn't take long for me to realize that you were exactly the kind of man I always wanted. I didn't believe that men like you existed. You were kind to your mother even though she was unreasonable and you were irritated with her most of the time. And you helped that poor girl, Eris, who was getting eaten alive by the community, and you did a thousand other things that I didn't think anyone had the courage or forbearance to do. I could barely stand to be apart from you for even a few moments in the day. And we had such fun together. It was like you were the perfect link between reality and the dream world that I wanted to have with the gypsies. Then there was that one night that we were dancing together by the fire and you kissed me. Do you remember the night?"
Zel nodded.
"I had been trying to win you, but when you kissed me that night, it didn't feel like love. It was nice, but it felt evocative and I was convinced that it was inspired by feelings of . . . desire. I mean, passing attraction is nice, but I wanted deep enduring love from you, and I wasn't sure if you felt that way for me. So, I asked you to do all kinds of impossible things to prove to me that you loved me – truly. I was very demanding, but it was very important to me that you were not like Rezo and I decided that if you would leave the military for me than that was enough to prove that you were not like him."
"You what? I told General Metalium that night that I was going to resign, and you didn't even want me to?"
"If you had not done that, I would not have been convinced, because of what you said: that you would never leave the woman you loved to be killed on the battlefield, so if you loved me you wouldn't go."
Zelgadis looked at her, and was too astounded to speak.
"I am in love with you, and have been since the beginning. I wouldn't have broken my neck to impress your mother or anyone if I didn't feel this strongly about you," she stopped speaking and looked at him, waiting to see his reaction to everything she had said. "I had absolutely nothing to gain from the arrangement than your love. Is it possible that you could still care for me, even after everything I've done?"
Zelgadis didn't care about looking reserved to the crowd of onlookers anymore as his anger melted away. He looked in her eyes and he knew that to the searing depth of her, she was telling him the truth. This was not a joke to her. She didn't follow Xellos all the way to India, but had followed him! He was her lover . . .
Zel grasped her and pulled her to his heart. This feeling was unlike anything. Maybe . . . he wouldn't go to Africa, or anywhere else. Maybe he would stay here in this moment until everything around them fell to ashes. Even then, he would still feel as happy and weak as did at this very moment.
Author's Notes: Hiya! Yeah - I'm wrapping it up. Expect one more chapter - then we're done. Special thanks to anyone who reviews. Sorry - I really am quite tired.