Nope. You've got the wrong person, mate. Bleach ain't mine.

Yayness! My own chaptered Bleach fiction! xD Ichigo/Rukia, naturally. Spoilers abound. You have been warned.

Excrucior

There. I feel it. Do you?

Beating. There, just now. I felt it again.

There, there, there.

It's not ending, is it? You know what.

The guilt of a slain precious one. We were the cause of it. We were the damned triggers. Our souls and blood reek of the same stench; guilt, remorse, shame, disgrace. We smelt foul. We could not stand it. We should have forgotten it, but we couldn't. Prayers had no meaning. No God was going to sit up and notice and actually do something about our stupid grief. We needed someone to blame. We only had our bloody selves. We were the only ones covered in blood.

Theirs.

You should have understood me. You really should have. But how come I don't see you squirming in your bed at night? How come you never wake up in sweat and wet sheets, gasping for breath? How come you are calm and I am not?

It isn't bloody fair, Ichigo.

You found your mother's killer. But I killed him with my own hands. I pushed that blade through his body, as swift as lighting striking through a cloud. There was enough blood for me to throw up, for my entire body to shake with the force. I can only track myself down. I told you. My fault. Mine.

And yes… you are alike him, in so many ways. I find that hard to accept.

If only I had woken up that time, that night. If only I had opened my eyes, I'd have seen you opening the closet door. I'd have seen you looking at me as I writhed through dreams of pained memories. I'd have felt you pulling the blanket over my shoulder.

But I didn't, of course. Perhaps I did not want it.

"Nightmare, huh? You're such a kid..."

That's all I heard. I had to shut my eyes harder.

Damn you, Ichigo. Damn you for being so alike him.

So alike Kaien-dono.

tbc