Hello, I'm Tau Reinhart. I write fiction to vent out or act out my frustrations and angst. I discovered my love for anime just 2 years ago. I'm not a particular fan of Zoids, but started getting into it when I saw more of Thomas Schubaltz's character… and the bashings! From then on, I just had to follow his story through the series, hoping that something good might happen to him along the way. Unfortunately, nothing did. It's just sad that he always got the raw deal. With this fanfic, I hope I've done his character justice. Please forgive my sympathy for Thomas… I'm an underdog too, so I kinda understand what he had gone through. It just sickens me how characters like Thomas come into being in anime series for the sole purpose of being the whipping boy. Anyway, here's the first chapter of my fanfic. Please review.

Sorry yaoi fans… no yaoi inside.

Disclaimer: I don't own Zoids or its characters.

Other favorite anime underdogs:
Uzumaki Naruto of Naruto
Kouya Marino and Jirou Oriza of Crush Gear Turbo
Ginnosuke Isuzu of Tokyo Underground
Megane of Gate Keepers
Kazuma Kuwabara of Yu Yu Hakusho
Hanamichi Sakuragi of Slam Dunk

Wild Card

CHAPTER I

The journey begins with the sun rising, bringing onward another pristine day to the now peaceful planet Zi. As the daylight steadily creeps over towering mountains, the rich colors of nature are progressively revealed for everyone to admire. It is truly a magnificent view that evokes notions of a reverberant energy flowing freely from Zi's most luscious greens to the most barren of deserts, interrelating every living thing and every essential element on the sphere.

A dark chapter in Zi's history is finally closed with the destruction of the Death Stinger, and the underground return of the Zoid Eve; indeed, this reality makes this symphony of hues all the more a spectacular sight to see.

At the Red River Base, we notice someone who obviously got up early so as not to miss out on the splendid unfolding of this beauty that is. We recognize that someone to be Lieutenant Thomas Richard Schubaltz of the Guardian Force. We spy him walking within base grounds leisurely; his serene expression reflects his enjoyment of this newfound peace. He leans on the balustrade amongst one of the wings of the base, his emerald green eyes staring (though squinting slightly) at the warm and soothing golden sunrise along the horizon. He lets out a sigh of consolation as the amiable rays of sunshine touches his pale yet comely face. Nothing compares to this, he placidly thought.

But soon, this placidity was momentarily upset; all of a sudden, he couldn't help think if this peace will ever last for a long time.

"Who'd be the next sick bastard who'll try to bring the zoid Eve back to the surface? I mean… this peace is just too good to be true. I'm sure there's another Hiltz, whoever the hell he may be, conjuring up another sinister plan to do the same crazy thing over again." he quietly pondered, narrowing his eyes at the notion, causing his stare to become a tad unnerving. But after a while, he realized that he was here to enjoy the daybreak, and not to entertain such ideas.

Lately, Thomas developed the habit of waking up earlier than everyone else to catch the commencement of the break of day, because it offered him some time for himself with his thoughts… that is, before everyone else awakens to ruin the quietude. It helped him contemplate (in a freshened disposition) on the things that have been happening lately in his life. The sunrise has been, for him, a symbol of new beginnings… another chance to make up for whatever his shortcomings were… another opportunity to live his dreams so often put on the back burner by circumstance… and perhaps another chance for him in love (being the hapless romantic that he is). The dawn of a new day has virtually provided him something comparable to his own personal space – a space he would run to whenever he was in need of comfort.

Comfort… something you'd normally get from a place called home. Strangely (and somewhat sadly) for Thomas, he couldn't exactly say the same thing as everyone else would say on the concept of 'home' anymore. Comfort has been running on scarce. Somehow, he kept having this suspicion (outlandish as it may seem) that he'd be so much better off, and perhaps be of much better use, someplace else… not in the Empire, and definitely not in the Republic.

"Perhaps this may have been partly my own fault, my own doing… refusing to be a team player at first," Thomas inaudibly said to himself. "Funny! Somehow I'm starting to see things in Raven's perspective. I guess he's living a sad life, living out there all alone with nowhere to go. At least I still have my frien…" he stopped abruptly. A lengthy pause followed.

"Do I…? Are they really?" his thoughts raced.

He began moving along the covered path he was on. He smiled… then chuckled. "Nah… I'm sure they care about me. Why do I keep thinking otherwise?"

After a while, he stopped walking for no apparent reason. He was now staring at the floor, his face wearing a subtle frown. He began to wonder why these ideas come racing into his head.

Why here? And why now when everything was supposedly going the way it should be? Why now, when he finally accepted the agonizing truth about his eternally unrequited love for Fiona Alyssi Linette, the same truth that made him furiously battle his inner self to finally bring it to a resolution that Fiona would be much better off with Van Fleiheit than with him?

It was like some kind of filter was wedged into his brain, allowing only those sorts of thoughts to pass through and be processed. He wondered whether or not the whole occurrence was trying to tell him something? Was this trying to tell him that he should reevaluate his status in the group he was in?

Initially, he'd quickly dismiss it as silly… merely figments of his imagination that are not worth any attention. But now, after these silly figments had the chance to reverberate...

"Then again, d-do they… do they really care about me?" he ruefully asked himself.

Every morning, dating back from the time he decided to have his 'sessions with the sun,' he would start each morning inspirited, and would get through the day composed and contented; with that, he is glad.

But today he is downhearted for he now feels more alone than he has ever been. He has essentially started this day crestfallen because (now that he had the chance to think about it) there may be a lot more other ideas swarming in his subconsciousness… ideas that are absolutely unaccounted for. He is afraid to find out what those abstractions really are, and what meanings tag along with them. What if they surfaced? What if they actually made their way to his conscious sphere? Would they make him think that he was actually cheated out of something? Would such ideas make him admit things he was greatly terrified to admit, which in doing so would shatter the reality he created, perhaps the only reality he knew and worked so hard on to keep constant when everything else kept changing (mostly not in his favor)?

The whole time, his feet had remained planted on the same spot where he ended his formerly leisurely walk. His acceptably pale face now became horridly paler; his heart was now racing and beads of cold sweat started to form on his forehead. But amidst this, he still managed to maintain his composure. Though shaken by his energy-draining ordeal, he slowly came back to his senses; he successfully got himself to sit on the floor and rest his back on the adjacent wall without first losing consciousness or falling flat on his face, like he always did in the past.

"My, my… clumsiness has definitely become my trademark," he sarcastically thought.

Still seated and leaning against the wall, he stared blankly toward the horizon for a few minutes. Sensing that he no longer felt dizzy, he quickly helped himself up before anyone came passing by and witness his weak and pathetic moment, among many others.

The picture of Raven's situation, which Thomas previously painted in his mind, came back into focus. All he knew about him back then was that he was the one responsible for totally damaging his DiBison with the charged particle beam, and nearly killing him in the process. Remembering this infuriated Thomas; he couldn't believe he felt sorry for him a while ago for being isolated from the rest of the world.

"Who was… is… Raven, really?" Thomas thought.

He vividly remembers asking Van and the others one time or another about Raven, but every time, without fail, they would all conveniently change the subject, leaving him completely in the dark. He also remembers raising his voice after he had quite enough of Van, Irvine, or Moonbay frequently reducing him to a mere nuisance whenever they would have their briefings.

Thomas: "Damn it! I'm part of this team, too! I should know the character behind this Raven guy. Why don't you just let me know whom we're really up against… since you so want things to go smoothly? Can you at least give me that?"

He would remember them finally giving in afterwards, seeing the anger in his eyes, showing that he really meant business. Sure, Thomas acknowledges to having his numerous flaws, like charging into situations without first completely analyzing them for any eventualities, by not being a team player in the beginning, or sneezing excessively and failing to think straight whenever Fiona was around. He likewise acknowledges the possibility that these flaws would explain the constant belittling and bias he would get from the rest of the group. He became fully aware that for every inadequacy of his on the battlefield, Van would excel on the same thing remarkably. While Thomas was still planning out for a good combat strategy (without the help of his trusty Beek), Van would have already finished the mission without getting a single scratch on his Blade Liger. He had to admit, Van has this excellent talent in strategic warfare. He had to admit, too, that it made him jealous. But now (having learned from his mistakes), whenever he would feel this way towards his teammate, instead of acting out his envy, he'd simply do his best to remain civil and mature. He'd make up for it creatively. Afterwards, he would reason with himself that at least he has one thing Van wasn't good at – machinery. This is the single thing that came natural to him. Creating Beek is perhaps his greatest achievement yet. Regrettably, not much importance was given to him about this. At times, no one even cared to notice. And not only that, he was incessantly accused of being too dependent on his machines. He kept telling himself that those were only words, but somehow, these same hurtful words reflexively cheapened all his efforts. It is his talent and his life's work that they're talking about. He was simply bowled over by their blatant indifference.

There is only as much abuse a person can take. Branding him as the weakest link of the group (not to mention subjecting him to the relentless bashing, mocking, and verbal insults that went along with it) was the limit. No wonder he could no longer contain his anger back then.

Now, as far as his knowledge spanned, Thomas knows that Raven was a renegade maverick soldier brainwashed by Günter Prozen in his desire to use him as a pawn for his power-lust scheme. He likewise knows that Raven had encounters with Van in the past. Little does Thomas know that the former had an awful childhood… that his parents were killed by an organoid they were studying… that because of this he hates zoids and organoids to no end.

Realizing that Van and the rest would only feed him that much information, Thomas forced himself to consider this scant amount of data adequate on working level to accomplish the mission of stopping the Geno-breaker and its dreaded charged particle beam. He had to compulsorily reconcile with himself that whatever happened before between Van and Raven that stemmed their personal vendetta was not of utmost importance, as long as they – the Guardian Force – could stop the renegade soldier from destroying everything in its path… and as long as he (Thomas) was careful that this same lack of information wouldn't jeopardize, at a minimum, his own safety.

Thomas doesn't deny that he had always been the people-pleaser and attention-hungry guy in the past. He became aware that this former attitude of his proved to be to his own disadvantage. But despite all that has happened, he has been able to make up for his meagerness somehow. He realized his mistakes in the past, and learned from it. Perhaps it was the drama behind the anticipation of the end of civilization with the rise of the zoid Eve that gave him a rude awakening to realize his selfish way of behaving; since then he showed a lot more concern for others. He at last recognized the 'annoyingness' in his character that others so ungenerously pointed out (tactless as it has been, he was very grateful though that they did it), and was able to overcome it.

Because of this (believe it or not), sometime after Zoid Eve's underground-bound return, Thomas had saved Van's hide countless times during a number of missions, without Van even knowing it. Being both a computer and a mathematical wizard, Thomas has even been able to figure out baffling puzzles they had encountered so often in their other missions… riddles which were actually codes that (when left unbroken) stood in the way between them and the deterrence of worldwide disasters waiting to happen. However, given Thomas' previous history, credit would inadvertently go to Van, being the typecast hero the latter is. Thomas wanted to fuss about it, but he recalled that he vowed to take the high road; besides, he still curiously considers Van his friend, maybe because he has saved his butt, too, many times before. Right now, as far as Thomas was concerned, he was simply returning the favor. He would simply sigh, accept that his unlucky stars are never going to get any luckier, and tell himself, "At least another catastrophe has been prevented."

All in all, by the looks of things, these efforts didn't do much for Thomas in terms of self-vindication. For some freakishly unknown reason, Thomas didn't even take the slightest effort of standing up for himself anymore.

The sun has now risen high above the horizon. Thomas decided it was time to go back to carry out his daily obligations. On the way back inside, he began thinking about the circle of friends that consisted of Van, Fiona, Moonbay, and Irvine. He can just imagine the lengthy and hefty history all four of them share that binds them strongly together. Though he may have become acquainted with them in these past few years, he always felt like being anywhere but inside the said circle.

How so? Thomas would reflect on all the verbal abuse he had to take (and why he was the only one in the group that always received this abuse from his colleagues); he would remember all the times he had been left out, and all the times the whole group would always disagree with his suggestions (and not take them seriously, or even dismiss them as exaggerations) during meetings.

How so? The answer lies somewhere there.

Now that he actually thought about it, his already crestfallen disposition just became worse… like the light has been brusquely sucked out of the morning air. During that moment, time stopped for him; during that very moment, he unknowingly detached his mind from himself and from everything. He then came to an unbiased yet stinging conclusion that it all comes down to history… to times gone by… to how everything Van, Fiona, Moonbay and Irvine went through together in the past helped forge the friendships between the four of them.

"Maybe that's how it is and how it has always been: I'm the odd man out," Thomas thought sadly. "I consider them my friends, but I'm not so sure anymore if the feeling is mutual." Their closely-knit circle has been established long ago, long before he came into the picture. Thomas is but a newcomer… an outsider who unexpectedly inserted himself in their lives… a categorical intruder who actually has no right to a place in their group in the long run.

His pace slowed, his eyes again gazing the floor. How he hungered for friendship! He didn't get much of it somehow. Maybe his being snobbish, fussy, and transparent was actually a defense mechanism of his. Perhaps that was a prophylactic to prevent him from getting hurt or from being taken advantage of. After some time in the Guardian Force, he decided to take the risk of letting his guard down (especially with Fiona). However, this proved to be biggest mistake he has ever made. Now that he thought he was making a connection to others, the whole would just blow up in his face, and this would hurt his soul like hell. He initially thought that loosing his 'necessary' arrogance would help, but he was dead wrong.

"I guess I'm... I'm on my own then," Thomas said to himself. He was at the verge of breaking down into tears.

"NO! Damn it, I must NOT cry!" his mind screamed as he fought back the tears. "I won't give them the satisfaction of seeing me like this!"

He picked up his pace and hurried to the nearest restroom. As soon as he got in one, he quickly washed his face. Feeling a lot better afterwards, he looked at himself in the mirror. He gazed into his own emerald green eyes and let out a long exasperated sigh.

"Well, buddy, it's down to you and me," he said to himself. "Don't you EVER become my worst enemy, alright?"

He reached for a paper towel to dry his face. He unruffled himself, and exited the restroom... trying to look cool, like nothing at all happened just a while ago. At least in this stance, no one would suspect a thing.

"It seems like there's no one to share my history, except my brother," Thomas' thoughts continued. "But no one, not even Karl, knows my real person. No one even bothers to take the slightest effort of finding out who I really am. I know I'm a nice person… but what they see in me is a weakling and a pushover who gets knocked out all the time. By the looks of it, that's how they'll remember me by: Colonel Karl Lichen Schubaltz's feeble little brother. I try my best to be heroic… to be gallant… but somehow I always end up being ridiculed."

Thomas noticed that he was nearing the main entrance. He had to wipe off the forlorn effect off his face quickly before someone else figures out that something's the matter with him. He brought himself to remember the happy times he had with the group, albeit few they may be.

He sniggered at the memory of Van's organoid Zeek getting disgustingly drunk during festivals and social functions, and how that gave Van a pretty hard time. He also remembered how Fiona would blush furiously whenever someone would want to take her picture, and how she would demurely reason that she's the most un-photogenic female that lived. He couldn't help but smile at these few memories he treasured.

"I think… Maybe I'm judging them too hastily," he said to himself. He let these presently happy memories play on in his head.

Then, with all the merriment in his mind, Thomas unexpectedly thought of the Emperor. He's pretty much aware of Emperor Rudolph being close to Van and the others. They had the honor of saving him from certain death some years ago (prior to Van becoming a member of the Guardian Force himself) thus marking the beginning of their friendship. With this in mind, Thomas didn't wonder why the Emperor would be more casual with Van, like the two have been buddies for a long time... decorum unbecoming of a relationship between subordinate and superior. During special escorting assignments, Thomas couldn't help notice that the Emperor would easily and preferably spend more time talking with Van than with him, even if he himself initiated most of the conversations.

To become friends with Emperor Rudolph is, for Thomas, of the highest privilege, not because of Rudolph being royalty and all. It was because he sees Rudolph as someone who is endowed with the greatest wisdom and purity on Planet Zi despite his young age. As far as Thomas was concerned, he hasn't established the same thing Rudolph has between Van and the others. He is certain about it because notwithstanding how pleasant he makes his disposition, and how leisurely he makes the conversation, a weird awkwardness comes over him whenever Rudolph would give him a cool, emotionless, matter-of-fact look… that, actually, being the only look Rudolph would give to Thomas. He doesn't know if this had anything to do with his embarrassing behavior towards the Emperor during his holiday in the countryside... but he's not inclined to think so, because he thinks of Rudolph to be a lot more mature than to hold petty grudges.

Unfortunately, the happy thoughts didn't come back afterwards. Thomas now wanted to take back what he said to himself earlier.

"W-who am I kidding? I don't think anyone will want to get to know me," Thomas said.

He finally arrived at the entrance. Peering from outside, he can see people bit by bit filling the lobby and hallway, going about their business. For these individuals, this day started like any other ordinary routine day. What are important to them right now are their responsibilities and other similar matters at hand. For Thomas, what he thought as a day he had hoped to start out placidly has become a tumultuous day of realization. Far from his awareness, this day would be noted in his memoirs (if ever he had the opportunity to write a few) as a prelude to something revolutionary – good or bad, not even he knows – with its zenith to occur in the near future. Little does he know that all his mind's inner battles are but a preview to the biggest soul-searching he'll ever do in his life.

He stepped inside the main entrance of the Red River Base, wondering now what new challenge will be thrown his way.