I hope you like this! I just remembered the movie, Meet the Parents and the idea just strolled into my mind. By the way, I'm not actually following the historical sequence, so don't be surprised if Sun Jian and Sun Ce are still alive.

Disclaimer: I don't own Dynasty Warriors.

Meet the Suns

Chapter I: Turmoil Looming Over the Horizon

Summary: Sun Shang Xiang and Liu Bei are engaged and now Liu Bei has to meet her family before the wedding. However, the Suns don't seem to like the new family addition at all. Will Liu Bei survive the hellish week?

Liu Bei looked at the Sun's estate and shivered.

It was dark, sullen and foreboding; a real avatar of misery and agony. A seemingly horrid dark shadow loomed over the rooftops of the mansion, seeping into the cracks of the aged house. The windows, on the other hand were draped with dull grey rags that looked like specters covering the inner depths of the estate. And Liu Bei swore that the by the large rustic gate he was a shadow pass by.

He had to stay there for an entire week.

"My lord, are you alright?" Zhao Yun asked, placing his hand on Liu Bei's shoulder.

A medium sized cart tied to an old grey mare also known as Hex Mark (the name of Liu Bei's horse in the games) filled with a lot of baggage was halted just a few kilometers away from the Sun's estate and Liu Bei was seated at the edge of it.

Turning to Yun, Liu Bei gulped. "Look at their mansion, Zhao Yun! It's so frightful!" he exclaimed turning away and pointing to the Sun's family estate.

After observing the estate carefully, Yun shrugged; the estate wasn't frightening at all! It was actually beautiful. It was large mansion, surrounded by tall rose-colored walls that surrounded the large amount of land around the mansion itself. Tall trees loomed above the walls and vines adorned with grapes gently crept upon their branches. "But my lord," he replied, "it looks rather fine…"

"I assume he's simply nervous." Zhuge Liang muttered as he walked beside them.

"What? I'm not nervous at all! Why would I be nervous?" Liu Bei protested with a faint laugh to back up his statement.

The two generals eyed him.

"What? What are you both looking at?" Liu Bei demanded.

Suddenly, Sun Shang Xiang spoke up from somewhere else, "Hurry up, Zhang Fei! Just go do you're business here, so we can go on!" she yelled from behind a dead tree.

"Yes, Zhang Fei, you're delaying us! Just go take a tinkle already!" Guan Yu added.

"How can I go if you're both watching me?" Zhang Fei snapped.

"Oh, who wants to watch you?" Shang Xiang retorted, at the point of bursting out in fury.

A few minutes later and Shang Xiang came over to Liu Bei and sat beside him. It seems that your brother has to…err…do his business…" she said. Liu Bei chuckled, "I told Zhang Fei not to drink too much before we left…"

"Anyway…I'm so excited to see my family! How about you, Liu Bei?" she asked, looking at him

"Umm...I'm excited too…" he muttered inaudibly.

"See, he's hesitant…" Zhuge Liang whispered to Zhao Yun.

"I'M EXCITED TOO!" Liu Bei yelled upon hearing his strategist. He looked at Zhuge Liang, who had a mischievous smirk hidden behind his feather fan. Breathing heavily after his loud shout, Liu Bei then turned away to look at Shang Xiang.

She looked overjoyed. "Thanks, Bei! You're the greatest!" she beamed, hugging him tightly, "I'm sure they'll love you." He could only sigh. How was he going to survive an entire weekend of anguish at the Sun estate?

Then he looked at Shang Xiang.

He would go through hell for her if necessary, but he knew he still had to be careful. No bad impressions, no screw ups, nothing bad must happen!

Unfortunately, the Suns wanted otherwise…

"I can't believe she's going to marry that scum bag, Liu Bei!" Sun Ce exclaimed, pacing in the library and biting pages off one book, particularly the Art of War. He was fuming.

"Please don't react excessively like that, Lord Sun Ce!" Zhou Yu pleaded trying to restrain the feral Ce.

"Calm down, Ce!" Sun Jian barked from his chair. He and Sun Quan were seated by a table, drinking tea, watching Sun Ce rage.

The Tiger of Jiang Dong then sipped some tea and waited for his son to finally calm down.

"She's a smart girl. She'll realize that it's a huge mistake soon." Sun Quan said when Ce finally let the book down, though he still had a page hanging in his mouth, "Besides, mother likes Liu Bei. If she finds out that you want to get rid of him, you're dead…"

"But by then it'll be too late!" Ce protested, pouting. He folded his arms across his chest and waited for a reply (still with the page hanging from his mouth).

"Have patience, Ce." Zhou Yu said, "The great Sun Tzu did say, 'Therefore, those skilled in warfare establish positions that make them invincible and do not miss opportunities to attack the enemy'…"

"Wow, those are really intelligent words, Zhou Yu." Sun Ce remarked.

"Actually, I just read them off that page in your mouth." Zhou Yu replied dryly as he pointed to the page in Sun Ce's mouth.

"Yes, you look ridiculous, Ce." Sun Jian murmured, "Take it off."

Sun Ce obeyed immediately. "Back to the topic of the discussion…" Ce said, leaning on the table beside his father and brother. "I know that Shang Xiang will realize that Liu Bei sucks."

"Nice way of putting it, Ce…" Sun Quan mumbled.

"Ahem, I'm going to ignore that smart ass answer, bro." Sun Ce said, "Now, I was saying that we can't wait for her to figure it out; however, we can help her."

The others looked at him quizzically.

"I'm just saying," Sun Ce continued, grinning "maybe we should help her realize how bad he is."

"I still don't get it, Ce…" Sun Jian commented, sipping his tea.

"In other words, pop, we make Liu Bei's life a living nightmare and likewise we make him look bad in front of Shang Xiang."

"But mother likes Liu Bei. If she finds out that you want to get rid of him, you're in big trouble…" Sun Quan pointed out.

"Who says she'll find out?"

There was dead silence.

Finally, Sun Jian spoke up, "Well, son… it's a miracle…"

Everyone else held their breath, awaiting an answer. Especially Sun Ce, he was turning blue already. He never tried holding his breath that long.

"It's a miracle that you finally came up with something intelligent…"

They all looked at each other and grinned maliciously. It seemed that Liu Bei's fate was already sealed.

Soon, the word had spread to all the generals in Wu.

"It seems that the Sun family does not like this Liu Bei." Lu Xun told Lu Meng as they both sat down at a horizontal table with their afternoon snack.

They were in Wu's mess hall. A large chamber filled with rows and rows of horizontal tables where the Wu generals would usually eat.

"Well, they fear that he will try to take over Wu during his stay." Lu Meng explained, taking a bite out of his chicken drumstick.

Lu Xun just nodded, eating some of his apple. He diverted his attention to the empty seats before them.

"Hey, ya mind if we sit here?" Gan Ning asked while he and Taishi Ci approached their table. Lu Men motioned them to sit down and they obliged.

Leaning forward, Gan Ning smirked. "So did both of ya hear of the Suns' plan to deal with that bastard from Shu?" he asked. They nodded, "I just don't get though why they don't like him." Lu Xun said, swallowing another bite of his apple, "I mean, this marriage would be a good way to unite both kingdoms." With a laugh, Gan Ning leaned closer to Lu Xun and messed up his neatly placed hat with a rough rub on the forehead.

"You're so naive…" Taishi Ci murmured.

"Yeah, I mean, do ya trust Liu Bei?" Gan Ning asked looking at the young strategist.

"Why? I mean he's a total push-over. He's a certified goody toe-shoe." Lu Xun retorted. Gan Ning chuckled and slapped Lu Xun's back. "I can't believe that that came out of your mouth…" he jeered.

Sighing, Lu Meng muttered, "Oh, Gan Ning stop mocking the boy…" while he rubbed his temples.

"Ah, lighten up, Lu Meng!" Gan Ning sneered, grabbing some of Taishi Ci's oatmeal. The pirate then chucked it at Lu Meng.

Unfortunately for Gan Ning, he had the accuracy of a blind goat.

The oatmeal went past Lu Meng and directly hit Zhou Tai, sitting on another table.

"Oh shit." Gan Ning murmured dropping his hand into the oatmeal as the other Wu general turned his head.

"Who did that?" Zhou Tai demanded, staring angrily at the other generals.

Pointing at Gan Ning, Taishi Ci muttered, "He did it…" while eating his oatmeal that had Gan Ning's hand in it.

With a nasty look, Zhou Tai glared at Gan Ning

Tension filled Gan Ning. He had to think of something and fast. And if he not, he already imagined himself as a hood ornament for Zhou Tai

"Umm… FOOD FIGHT!" Gan Ning yelled, throwing oatmeal all over the room.

Pandemonium erupted and food was being flung everywhere. The other generals began to hurl food all over the room as well.

By nightfall, Liu Bei arrived at the Sun's estate.

Liu Bei was uneasy as they entered the estate. He gulped.

The giant mansion was lighted only by a few lamps on the outside, but within, bright chandeliers' illumination made the mansion glow.

Some horses were being led back to the stables along with the grey mare of Liu Bei.

He looked up at the front door to find the other Suns standing there. Almost immediately, Shang Xiang ran up to them.

"Dad, how are you?" Shang Xiang asked, embracing her father tightly.

"I'm fine! How's my tomboy?" Sun Jian answered while she kissed him on the cheek.

She then kissed her mother's cheek. "Oh, Shang Xiang, you're as beautiful as ever!" Old lady Sun (whose real name I don't know) beamed as Shang Xiang smiled, kissing once more.

Then she embraced her brothers tightly.

"I missed you guys so much!" she exclaimed, jabbing Sun Quan.

"And we did too, sis!" Sun Ce said.

Just standing there Liu Bei wondered if they were really as evil as he thought they were. They seemed like a loving family.

After Shang Xiang finished her greetings, she presented Liu Bei to her family.

"This is Liu Bei." she said, cuddling him.

"Oh, he looks like a real gentleman." Old lady Sun complimented, "Right, Jian?"

Sun Jin muttered something inaudible.

"Right, Jian!" Old Lady Sun repeated, smacking her husband's rib with her elbow.

"Ow!" he yelped, holding his sore ribs. His wife just eyed him with an expression of, if- you-don't-agree-I'll-do-it-again. "Yes, dear wife…" he muttered through clenched teeth, "He is…"

"Well, no use staying out here, Liu Bei." Sun Ce said, ushering him into the house. Shang Xian followed him into the mansion along with Liu Bei's bodyguards.

"I thought you hated him!" Sun Quan whispered into Ce's ear as the latter was about to enter the mansion. "I know! I'm just getting ready for our plan." Ce whispered in reply.

Old Lady Sun looked at them. "Ce, Quan? What are you doing standing in front of the doorway idly?" she asked, suspicious of them.

"Oh you know, mom." Sun Ce replied, sweating heavily, "We were…uhh… talking about how lovely you look tonight!"

"Or how she looks more like a vampire…" Sun Jian muttered under his breath.

"What was that Jian?"

"I was just agreeing with them, dear wife!"

"Good, you better."

After things had settled down, Sun Ce and Sun Quan sneaked out to the library once more, where they met up with Zhou Yu.

"Well, everyone's preparing for the banquet tonight." Sun Quan reported, locking the door behind him, "Unfortunately, father was forced by mother to get ready for the banquet.

"Then we'll just have to begin without pop." Sun Ce replied, "Now, is everybody ready?"

Zhou Yu nodded, "I have completed all the arrangements at the present."

A malicious grin spread upon Sun Ce's face. "Good, now let operation get rid of Liu Bei commence! MWAHAHA! MWAHAHA! MWAHAHA! MWAHAHA!" Sun Ce laughed evilly, "MWAHAHA! MWAHAHA!"

"You can stop laughing now, Ce…" Zhou Yu muttered.

"Oh, okay…"

Will the Suns' plans to get rid of Liu Bei succeed? Will the banquet go on well? Will Liu Bei be able to save himself from the devious plot?

All will be answered in Chapter two!