Crash and Burn - Omake Epilogue #1

By: Clever Audrey, with inspiration from her fellow Archivists.

Disclaimer: Naruto characters, settings, names, anime, manga and merchandise (except for my kick-ass chibi!Naruto pin) do not belong to me. Nor am I claiming that they do. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun. >; D

AN: I'm baaack! So, here is the first of the several Omake Epilogues for Crash and Burn, which you really should read first (I'm not plugging...no...O.o). Anyway - these are meant to be HUMOR, which means there will be lots of OOCness, absurd situations, and very bad puns. Consider yourselves warned, and enjoy.

In which Shikamaru gives a warning

"Oi, Uchiha, hold up a sec," called Shikamaru. Sasuke, surprised, stopped and waited, waving Naruto on ahead.

"What?"

Shikamaru, hands in his pockets, studied the Uchiha teen through narrowed eyes. "You better not hurt him." He nodded in the Naruto's direction. "Because if you do – Kiba, Chouji, Neji, Lee and I will all kill you. In long, tortured and painful ways."

Sasuke was about to nod coolly to the other and leave, when he had a sudden vision.

Kiba grinning fiercely and pointing at him, calling out gleefully, "Akamaru – sic him!" The now fully grown and very fast dog growled in agreement, and chased him half-way to Sand.

Chouji growing to ten times his normal size and sitting on him. For days.

Neji, looming, his deadpan slowly turning into a rather frightening smirk- (Sasuke cut that one off right there – the possibilities were just too terrifying).

Lee…well, would use him as a punching bag. And knowing Lee's training methods…that could go on for a looooooong time….

Which left Shikamaru. Shikamaru doing Kagemane on him and then making him do the Macarena or some equally embarrassing thing through the middle of a busy Konoha street.

Sasuke blinked. He swallowed, cleared his throat, and removed the wide-eyed, oh-my-god-that's-freaky look from his face.

"That's not something you need to worry about it," the chuunin promised, and turned to catch up with Naruto, still pushing the horrifying images out of his head.

Shikamaru just nodded, smirked, and walked away.

Owari