YAY. An update! That's because I was busy doing Hiei cosplay at a convention! But it's over now - hurrah! Unfortunately, my sister and I could only enter the novice division; and we didn't get a thing (Not even for the wig…BOO!). Oh well. No biggie, because we had a ton of fun, and were told that we were the best Hiei-Yukina cosplayers ever (Does it help that we are clones of each other to begin with?). So…there's a link in the infamous bio if you want to check that out.

Warning: Boy-Love. Boy-Love. Bad writing (Sorry). Sadness. The anti-climatic end of the story.

Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho © Yoshihiro Togashi.

Mischief 101

By Zelia Theb

VIII: Click!

They shut the door behind them faster than the blink of an eye. They managed to huddle in the bathroom and remove their girlish attire even faster; stripping down to their manly underthings and ridding their skin of rouge and powder. It was survival.

"Damn heels! Who the hell thought of these things in the first place?"

"Women who wanted to be taller, I would assume."

"What a stupid idea for a themed dance!"

"This was your idea, Yusuke."

Ah. That was better…now that they were in their appropriate garments; cotton tees and sleeping bottoms of their choice (which was ironically enough, penguin-printed boxer shorts for the Spirit Detective). It was time to concentrate on more…prominent issues.

"Whew," Yusuke wheezed, slouching against the door of the dorm, "That was close."

"Indeed," stated Kurama as he leaned back next to him.

Despite the fact that it was incredibly cliché of the boys to do what they did next; they gazed at each other through the tension and then began to kiss again, plunging their tongues into each other like there was something yummy to be found in their intestines. The moment was intense as they gripped at the white fabric of each other's tops, only to find that the door knob was still able to turn when they frantically stumbled into it with their limbs.

"Ah!" Yusuke cried as the moving metal jabbed into his ribs, "Quick! Quick! Lock it!"

"I'll do that…and more…" Kurama stated, bringing his hand up to the dead-bolt and sliding it shut. Yusuke licked his lips, thinking that perhaps his friend was insinuating something else entirely. But alas, the fox pulled a seed from his hair and dropped it to the floor. He moved Yusuke then, and as they continued their hormonal lip-entanglement, leaves sprouted and a thick vine grew; similar to the one that had Kino trapped earlier in the week.

The night was rather…eventful. Not as eventful as some sort of perverted peeping-tom would have hoped, but nice enough for the two boys.

Botan did not even bother to ask why they were in nothing but their birthday suits and in bed together for the second time in a row. She just waited in the room for them to wake up. First, she had started picking the dead leaves off of what was supposed to have been the boys' foolproof door latch. Then, she meandered over to the desk and kicked her legs back and forth impatiently. Finally, she whipped out her oar; letting it hover only inches off of the ground, and walking back and forth on it like she was a gymnast on a balance beam.

She stumbled and smacked her nose on the broad end when Yusuke moved beneath the sheets. It was then that she decided to play it cool, and hide in the bathroom. After all, she was tired of interrupting them all of the time! She had to do a bit of sleuthing if she ever wanted to get to the bottom of this. Yusuke and Kurama were most definitely pursuing a secret relationship behind everyone's backs, but they had a damn good cover for most of the time!

"Damn you, woman," Hiei hissed when she came into the room, "Be quiet!"

"You too?" she whispered. He nodded back, having his own reasons for prying in on them.

"Did you feel a breeze?" Yusuke asked groggily, nudging the redhead next to him. Kurama didn't move, so the teen began poking him in the bare chest with his finger until he did.

"Obviously I didn't, Yusuke…" Kurama murmured, turning over. Yusuke huffed, reaching for the box of mints and eating one before offering one to the sleepy fox. Said fox turned back around and took one, no later were the two making lip-smacking noises from…lip-smacking. The hiding fire-demon repressed the urge to gag; these were his comrades! The ones he fought alongside with! Besides…why Kurama anyway?

"Mmm…"

"You know…tonight Yusuke…"

"Mmmhmm.."

"I'd like to spend it with you again."

"But don't they share a room?" Botan whispered curiously. It didn't take a genius to figure out what that meant; no; it took Hiei.

"Shut up and listen!" he seethed quietly.

"We spend every night together," Yusuke smiled stupidly, sitting up in the sheets. Hiei smacked his head in the bathroom; was everyone really lacking intelligence this morning?

Kurama cackled with a throaty and seductive growl. He sat up, cupping Yusuke's head and thumbing through his hair, then brought him close and explained, "What I mean is…"

"Can't we do that right now?" Yusuke asked bluntly. Kurama's jaw fell to the mattress (Yusuke would have enjoyed that, now wouldn't he?).

"Um…wouldn't you prefer something a bit more romantic?" argued the redhead.

"Damn…can't get more romantic than waking up naked next to someone you've had a crush on for as long as you can remember."

"To be fair," Kurama interjected, "We didn't fall asleep this way." He blushed a tint of pink, and added, "As long as you can remember?" The room became quiet and serious as Yusuke began to comb through the barely tangled strands of Kurama's locks. His lungs took in deep breaths as he began speaking.

"I'm not sure how to say this…" The sheets moved over their laps, trying to fall off as Yusuke moved closer. It felt better to tell him nose to nose; "But I-"

"No," Kurama interrupted him, tracing lines down his chest, "I don't want to hear it."

Confused, the teen gripped the other's hand, and inquired, "Because you'll outlive me? Big deal."

Kurama kissed him lightly before saying, "Not only that…but what of Keiko?"

"Ya know," the detective said, wrapping his arms strongly around Kurama's shoulders for comfort, "I kinda thought that once too. It's different. I can't get ya out of my head, ya know?"

"You are just as annoying," Kurama joked, "I only hope that this is not a result of everything we've been through together."

Yusuke beamed at him reassuringly; "Even so, I'd rather not regret never knowing what it's like." They looked at each other for a moment, before Kurama let loose a tiny giggle.

"I once thought that about caring for humans." Stroking the back of Yusuke's palm, Kurama confessed, "But I love you."

"Isn't that sweet?" Botan murmured, looking to Hiei as if he really would agree with her.

"Hn. Disgusting. Idiot fox."

"Oh, shut up Hiei!" Botan scolded him, "You like Yusuke too! You're just jealous!"

If her communicator hadn't rung at exactly that moment; her face would have been plastered on the back of every milk carton. But Koenma saved her…at least for now. From Hiei.

"DAMN IT, BOTAN!" Yusuke yelled. The two lovers wrapped sheets around their waists and stood up, waiting for the intrusive ferrywoman to show herself. Little did they expect a very angry and very red-faced Hiei to appear as well.

"I…um…" she stammered, placing her pinky in her mouth, "I'm sorry, but…" As she spoke, the door flew open, crushing shriveled leaves and revealing a fully grown Koenma, with a legion of Spirit World officials standing behind him.

"Hey! Ever heard of knocking!" Yusuke shouted, moving closer to Kurama in an attempt to keep them both covered.

"Hey, ever heard of playing nice, Yusuke?" Koenma returned sarcastically, "Or should I say, Kurama?"

"Oh dear…Kino…" the fox gasped.

"That's right!" Koenma scolded them, "There's been huge repercussions! HUGE! Cosmic laws have been broken! The prophets are saying that if we allow this to continue, the Earth as we know it could cease to exist!"

"Hn," Hiei jumped in, "All because Kurama taught some human boy some manners? Give me a break."

"It's not just that, Hiei…" the girl said.

"Botan's right," Koenma concurred, "This Kino had strong evidence that demons existed; and due to his delinquent activities he was very likely to turn to the dark side."

"The dark side?" Yusuke quirked.

"I mean," the prince corrected himself, "Turn evil. Ahem."

"What is it that you mean, Koenma?" Kurama asked politely, despite the fact that he was in the middle of being reprimanded. Yusuke adored his resolve (among other things), and grew jealous of the collected manner in which the fox always handled things.

"Chapter Black, Kurama." Koenma waited for the two demons' eyebrows to return to their natural state, and then continued, "Fortunately, we've fixed that."

"Eer…wait," the loud-mouthed and most irate of the bunch stopped him, "You said that ass had evidence? Are you sayin' that you got rid of his memory?"

"Precisely."

"They're back from their vacation!" Botan smiled, gesturing to the group manifested by their mutual employer.

"Unfortunately for you, Yusuke, and the rest of you, including Botan…" Koenma sighed; "We have to do the same for you. The clairvoyant prophecies state that you'll die, Yusuke."

"Die? Aren't I like, recyclable, or something?"

"This isn't time for jokes. And no, you aren't recyclable. If you die, you die." Tension fell upon the room; it was heavy, thick, serious, and morbid. It was this or that, black or white. There was no compromise; but if Yusuke knew how he was going to die, would that change anything? Could he avoid it?

"If you tell us how it happens, Koenma, I doubt that would happen." Hiei glared at royal teen, defiant and certain that his logic overcame the grieve situation.

"Well, Hiei," Koenma began, pointing a finger directly at Yusuke, "Yusuke is going to be with Kurama in the forest near the Minamino residence."

"How entirely cliché," Kurama remarked, also annoyed by the turn of events.

"If you'd all like to mock the situation, then fine." Koenma continued his in-depth and greatly detailed story, using his index finger to point at each individual involved each and every time that their name was mentioned.

"Yusuke is going to be with Kurama in secret because they are trying to avoid Keiko and Kuwabara so that they can be intimate together. When they finally settle down in a clearing, a human psychic in charge of distracting Yusuke uses his powers to hurt Kurama…"

He recited the prophecy word for word, using explicit details as to how Yusuke drowned after cracking his skull on rocks, and that due to his death, he would be unable to fulfill his destiny of killing the human in possession of this "Chapter Black" video tape. It was despicable; erasing memories of love and comfort in order to reprogram Yusuke to kill another human. So despicable, in fact, that Yusuke let his fist connect with Koenma's pacifier all of two times before the legion of mind-erasers separated them.

"Do you think I want to do this, Yusuke?" Koenma said, wiping blood from a split lip, "Because I don't. But a world full of people is much more important than your selfishness. So let's just get this over with, all right?"

"This isn't fair," Yusuke protested, tears welling in his eyes.

"It isn't. Even I have to be set back, Yusuke," Koenma tried to assure him, "Everyone's going to think that only a few days have passed since the Dark Tournament. It's going to be fine."

"Now," one of the Spirit World employees stated in a deep multi-chorused voice, "You're all going to see a bright light, and then…"

The End

Author's Ending Note

Worst. Story. Ever. But it had to be finished with its original ending. So, like it or don't. You'll remember that Huminshou (from which this story is based; construction wise) also had a non-humorous ending. (Actually, I cracked myself up when I was still writing Chapter 1 of this story and decided to keep the memory wiping in there - but I'm twisted like that).

Forgive the overabundance of dialogue. My problem with writing the last bits of this fic was that I started style-killers like The Seibu Project and Sketch Me, which has basically re-sculpted the way that I write. I wanted to keep the story consistent, so I didn't change styles.

Anyhow - I'd like to thank everyone for the reviews! I'll probably be straying back to Yusuke-Hiei fandom again. So watch for that!

Also - If anyone is going to Otakon in Baltimore, I am going to be there, cosplaying as Hiei.