Not Another Whiskey Lullaby

A/N: This is a very different fic, but hopefully you won't get confused! The song used is Whiskey Lullaby by Allison Kraus and Brad Paisley. I love it! BTW – Susan (unfortunately) is not with Chuck in this fic!

FLASHBACK – 1 YEAR AGO – ABBY'S POV

My body trembled as I cried on that lonely bathroom floor. I was pregnant, and I didn't know what to do about it. I was happy that finally, John and I could have the fairy tale romance that we had always wanted, but on the other hand, I was worried, distraught, and angry just thinking about what John would say. 'I can't do this, Abby,' or maybe even, 'I don't want a baby with you.' All those horrifying comments swam through my mind, and I had no clue how to stop them.

John and I had been dating 2 years, and were officially engaged. I thought we were both happy, but I guess not.

I spent days thinking about how I was going to tell him, until finally, after two weeks, I told him the night we were officially planning our wedding. I will never forget that night.

"Hey John…" I said quietly.

"Yeah, babe?"

"I…uh…Have something to tell you…That's really important…"

"You do? Is it about the wedding? Oh god, you're not getting cold feet are you?"

"No! No, nothing like that…I just…I'm pregnant…And it might not be yours…"

Silence.

"Oh my god, Abby…How could you…? Even if it isn't mine, you CAN'T have that baby!"

End of Flashback – Susan's POV

The baby I had just recently been given lay quietly in my arms. Little Emily Renee Carter. I wondered if I should change her last name to Lewis, or keep it. After all, now that both of her parents were gone, she was mine. Abby said in her will, that everything she owned went to me, even Emily.

She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette

She broke his heart. He spent his whole life tryin' to forget

We watched him drink his pain away, a little at a time

But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind

Until the night…

I sat in the rocking chair of Abby and John's apartment, and rocked the baby to sleep. I quietly sang the story of her parents' death, with tears threatening to spill over my eyes. Boxes were scattered all over their bedroom, and even in the rest of the apartment. The little brunette baby began to fuss, so I continued with the "lullaby." It was a tragic tale, but about something that would never be forgotten.

He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger

And finally drank away her memory

Life is short but this time it was bigger

Than the strength he had to get up off his knees

We found him with his face down in the pillow

With a note that said I'll love her till I die

And when we buried him beneath the willow

Then the angels sang a whiskey lullaby

La la la la la la la, la la la la la la laa

John had found out who the father of the baby was: it was his. Abby had soon admitted it could have either been Ray, or some guy she met at a bar, named Ken. He was absolutely devastated. Abby was 5 months pregnant when she told him, and she was 5 months pregnant when he left. When the baby was born, Abby expected Carter to be there, but he didn't show up. She had left messages all over the place, thinking of where he could be, but she didn't have any luck. I was eventually the one to be next to Abby when Emily was born, and only minutes after that, we received terrible news.

Jack Carter knocked on the door, and then entered. He had tears in his eyes, and instantly Abby began to cry. I was left with nothing but confusion, sadness, and anger after Jack told Abby and I what happened. The baby was off getting weighed, and measured, so the only ones in the room were Jack, me, and Abby. I will never forget that conversation. Well, it really wasn't a conversation…It was more Jack telling us that that morning, John had committed suicide in a hotel building just outside of Chicago.

The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself

For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath

She finally drank her pain away a little at a time

But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind

Until the night

After that, Abby was never the same. She always left me to care for Emily, and left town often. Rumors were flying around the hospital, some saying that she skipped town because she was pregnant, and some saying she ran away to get married. Most of all people were saying she needed to get away from the grief: get away from everything that reminded her about John…Mostly Emily.

I even remember getting that awful phone call from Maggie, just two days ago. I never thought this day would come, and I never thought Abby would die like that. She was a doctor, and had a beautiful daughter. Now I really know how much John meant to her.

She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger

And finally drank away his memory

Life is short but this time it was bigger

Than the strength she had to get up off her knees

We found her with her face down in the pillow

Clinging to his picture for dear life

We laid her next to him beneath the willow

While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby

La la la la la la la, la la la la la la laa

ABBY'S POV

I screamed as I woke up from that awful dream. John immediately jumped up after me. I cried hysterically, as John stroked my hair, and rocked me back and forth. He kept telling me over and over to calm down, and that everything would be okay. I looked over at my alarm clock. It said 4:32 a.m. Two more hours of sleep would do me good.

"Baby, what's wrong? Did you have a nightmare?" John asked me, sounding very concerned.

"Yeah…um, just go back to sleep. I have to use the bathroom. I will be out in a few minutes." He looked a little uneasy at first, but nodded, and fell back asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

As I made my way to the bathroom, I realized that none of that was real…or at least some of it wasn't. I took the pregnancy test I had bought a few days ago out from under the counter, and did what I had to do. I bought it, because there was a strong possibility that I was pregnant. But for some reason, I had never used it. I didn't really know if I wanted to be pregnant or not. After that dream…I wasn't sure if it was what John wanted either.

Fifteen minutes later, I wiped my tears away from my eyes, and stared blankly at the test in front of me. POSITIVE.

I soon began to cry, tears of happiness, or tears of sadness, I have no clue. All I know is that I cried myself to sleep, still on the bathroom floor, and with the pregnancy test in my hand.

JOHN'S POV

My alarm clock screamed in my ear, and my hand automatically flew over to it. I reached to the opposite side, and felt for Abby. She wasn't there. I vaguely remembered her going to the bathroom, so I checked there next. I laughed when I saw her curled up in a little ball on the floor.

As I reached down to pick her up, I noticed a box…a blue box, lying on the floor next to her. As I read what was on it, I dropped it out of my hands. I picked Abby up, put her in bed, and read what her results were, since they were lying face down in her tight grasp.

ABBY'S POV – ONE HOUR LATER

I woke up to birds singing, sunlight shining through my window, and the alarm turned off…today, was not going to be a good day. I felt the bed next to me, hoping a warm body would be sleeping there, but I found nothing. Then the previous night's events drifted back into my mind, and that is when I realized it…John could know. He had most likely carried me into the bedroom when I fell asleep on the bathroom floor. And then it hit me like a tom of bricks: he could have seen the test.

I went into the kitchen, and saw a note on the countertop.

Abby –

I went to work today, and thought you needed a day to cool off from last night. I called in sick for you. I was going to fix you breakfast but I didn't know when you would wake up. Rest for today, and tonight, we are going to have to talk.

Love,

John

My head screamed that he knew, but my heart was hoping he didn't. I didn't want him to find out this way. All this confusion led me to "headache highway," so I just went back into our bedroom and got some good, dreamless sleep.

ABBY'S POV

Ok. Here it goes. It is finally 7:00: The time John said that he would be home. I anxiously waited for him at the door, and he soon comes in. The second he walks in the door he wrapped his strong arms around me, and held me like that for a while.

"What's wrong, John? Why do we need to talk?" I asked quietly, hoping he didn't know.

"I carried you to bed last night, as you probably know, and I…"

"Wait! Don't. I want to be the one to tell you!" I led him over to the couch, and we sat merely inches apart.

"I…I'm pregnant. I found out last night…" And then, just then, I saw something I never expected to see. I saw him smiling.

"Abby! That's great! Aren't you happy?" he asked me hysterically.

I was quiet for a moment, and braced myself for what was about to come out of my mouth. "No, John, I'm not happy. The reason why is because…"

"Is because…?" He waited anxiously. His smile was beginning to fade.

"Becauseit might not be yours!" And then I realized my dream was about to come true, because all John could do was stand up, and walk right out the door.