A/N: Wow, didn't expect to add another chapter in one of my earlier fics. I (half-heartedly) intended to add a chapter or two to this fic after my priority fics (e.g. sequel for Overcast and updating Sacrifice), but there's this girl who kept bugging me about updating this one, every single time we see each other. Today (or tomorrow, depending on where you live) is going to be her birthday, so updating would be a great (and cheap! Hey c'mon, I'm Chinese. I have an excuse to be cheap!) gift for her.
Chapter dedicated to Esther. Happy birthday and God bless you! Pinagpuyatan ko 'to, ah!
"Bartender, hit me again!" The inebriated Jounin mumbled and slurred to the barkeep. He didn't expect the slightly disgruntled man to take his words a bit too literally.
The bartender reached below the counter and swung a tetsubo, a very heavy iron cudgel, at his face. Any self-respecting ninja, let alone a Jounin, should be able to detect, evade, and counterattack any kind of assault in one smooth motion. In most cases, however, alcohol can greatly decrease one's depth perception and judgment. In alcohol-induced slow-motion vision, the studded metal weapon connected with his cheekbones and sent him flying off his bar stool, and right onto the street.
He landed with a heavy thud on the dirt. His eyes saw stars and his face felt numb while on fire at the same time.
"Ow."
Glancing up, he saw the bartender with a violently twitching eye. He held out a long piece of paper that reached the ground.
"Hit you? Damn right I'm going to hit you! This is your tab! If you don't pay me back, then don't expect to be served. Matter of fact, you can pretty much expect the same treatment from now on for non-paying customers!" he yelled in his face, spittle flying, and headed back into the bar and then slammed the door.
The Jounin looked back up at the dark sky and sighed in resignation. They used to have more respect for ninjas back in the old days. Alright, so he was kicked out of a bar for the third time this week. Typical. Was it his fault that a certain red eyed kunoichi held such a vice grip on his heart? Was it his fault that she was out of his league? Was it his fault that the famous and powerful "copy-ninja" Hatake Kakashi was going after her? And was it his fault that he was destroying his health and life by drinking instead of being proactive and actually doing something about the situation?
He sat up and tenderly prodded at his sore cheek. That's going to be a bitch in the morning, along with a hangover. That day in the forest was quite unforgettable. After having his heart dashed into a million pieces right there, he ran to the nearest bar and emptied two jars of Awamori into his mouth. A certain Hyuuga Neji was there (what the hell was a thirteen year old tightass doing in a bar at daytime, when he, a well known training junkie, should be kicking the crap out of Lee and Tenten, aka training, is beyond him) and mocked him, saying that he was pathetic for lacking the courage to court her and for getting drunk over such a paltry matter. Imagine that, a KID, lecturing a fully mature adult, a ninja who is at least a decade his senior and outranks him, who lives in his own apartment and gets laid on a regular basis, on how to live his bloody life! He would have easily beaten that arrogant, condescending ass to a bloody pulp, but he was too drunk to do anything about it.
…could that kid be right?
The sound of giggling made him turn his head. The melodious voice only belonged to one woman in the Leaf. The scene that greeted his eyes made him wish that he were smashed across the head again by that psycho bartender instead. Mere meters from him, was the love of his life, Yuuhi Kurenai, walking hand in hand with that damned porn addict, Kakashi!
His fists tightened. He was NOT going to relive this again. He stood and tried to approach her, to pour out the very feelings that were eating him up from the inside for days, but his feet refused to move. What if his strongly alcoholic breath knocks her out? What if he trips in front of her? What if she laughs right in his face? What if she gets pissed and puts him in a looping, endless genjutsu? Heck, what if she French-kisses Kakashi right in front of him, out of spite?
He thought of going back to his home and just cry himself to sleep, but a familiar pair of white eyes met his. The "number one rookie" was discreetly standing in a dark corner of the street and saw the whole thing. Oh, he probably got a laugh out of the bartender kicking him out, that jackass. His lips were twisted in a cruel smirk, a haughty challenge in his cold eyes. He could almost hear his voice, 'Face it, you spineless coward. You can never get the girl. You just go back home, hide under the covers and drink yourself to death. Ooh, maybe mommy will come by and make it all better.' The elder ninja's eyes narrowed. How dare he! He'll show that- that kid! Little genin punk…
Steeling himself and adjusting his dark glasses, Ebisu, the much sought after tutor of future Hokages, strode forth to turn his dreams into a reality.
Finally, he was able to send his annoying team home and secure a date with the hottest of the hottest (1) kunoichi, his one and only Kurenai. Sure, his team was great and all, with Naruto and Sasuke improving by leaps and bounds day by day, but sometimes their bickering just gets on his nerves, especially when he hears Sakura blindly worshipping the Uchiha.
He could feel Kurenai's slender, somewhat calloused hands, in his, and smiled. Man, this is way better than his Icha Icha books! Really, finding a smart, capable woman isn't as easy as it sounds. There's almost always something wrong about the women that Kakashi meets. If she would just say the word, he'd burn all his porn novels and mags in a heartbeat. Anything for her.
His eye caught movement to their right. It was that pompous "future Hokage tutor", Ebisu, approaching. He looked like he was going to start something. It was likely, judging from the look in his eye, and the stench in his breath. If someone lit a match, his breath might catch fire.
His date waved at him and greeted him a nice evening. Kakashi himself nodded just to be polite. Ebisu blushed (no, not at Kakashi, sickos), but remained silent and stood there, staring at his date. Kakashi raised an eyebrow. Why won't he get his own date, and have a staring contest with her? Kurenai looked puzzled and concerned at his odd behavior. "Ebisu-san, are you alrigh- ?"
"I LOVE YOU, KURENAI-SAMA!" the one of geeky fashion taste blurted out rather loudly, thanks to the high content of alcohol remaining in his bloodstream. The kunoichi was shocked, as was her date, and both stood staring at Ebisu for a few long seconds. Kakashi was the first to break the silence.
"Ok, time to go!" Kakashi exclaimed, pulling Kurenai along, when Ebisu caught her other hand.
"Wait! I just exposed my deepest, most guarded, and dearest secret to you. Aren't you going to say something?" Ebisu cried. Kurenai blushed.
"I…uh," she stammered, struggling for the right words. Kakashi decided to help out.
"Look, pal. In case you haven't noticed, she's with me. And I'm sure everyone knows that it's rude to steal someone's date now, wouldn't you?" he reasoned, his voice holding that trademark carefree tone. Ebisu wasn't happy to be interrupted or to be talked to in such a relaxed manner.
"How dare you interrupt my conversation with the lovely Kurenai! For this insult, you shall pay!" he roared. One thing went through both ninja's minds that very moment, 'Man, doesn't this guy know who I am?'
Before a handseal was formed or a kunai was drawn, however, the subject of their squabble, the "lovely Kurenai", put herself in between them, effectively stopping the fight before it even began. She wasn't amused.
"That's enough, you two! I can't believe you two! Do you think I'm nothing but a prize, a trophy, to fight over? I'm a human being too! I am a woman who is fully capable of thinking for herself and making her own decisions! Kakashi, I'm so disappointed in you! You're just like the others!" she exclaimed and wrung her hand from his and marched off.
Ebisu fell to his knees, shocked that the woman he loved in the shadows for so long, would disregard him like that. She didn't even say his name! No…it's over now. All the time spent pining for her in the darkness and silence of the night… Oh, such pain. Such misery wrought upon his wretched soul! The tears came slowly. Like the increasing tide, his tears soon became a torrent. Hot angry tears came out. All the ugly pain inside, the pain of the rejections he had taken over the years, forced out of him. He cried his anguish at the stars above, as distant as his dreams were from him.
"Fool," Neji snickered, and went on his merry, fatalistic way. The boy just watched a live soap opera, and it amused him to no end. A sudden thought struck him like lightning. The Main House must be responsible for the stupidity of this Jounin.
Kakashi stared at her retreating back for a few seconds, at the wailing Ebisu rocking himself on the street, and at Neji, who was going the opposite way; his brain was trying to process the scenes that transpired the last few minutes (2). Am I in the twilight zone? After a full minute of convincing himself that he wasn't drunk, doing drugs, or in dreamland, Kakashi did what his brain (hey, 27 years of experience as a ninja couldn't be wrong) deemed an appropriate course of action to take should such an occurrence happen: he took an orange colored book out of his breast pocket, started reading, and headed home.
I sure hope I haven't run out of lube yet.
(1) This is highly debatable, and might set off a flame war. Let me remind you that this is just a fic; don't take this stuff seriously, guys! Seriously.
(2) This is just a bit strange, you know? You're taking your date out to dinner; some guy you know to be a schmuck comes out of nowhere and proclaims his love for her. You tell him to back off, and then your date goes ballistic all of a sudden, ranting about women's rights and male chauvinist pigs. No, I'm not attacking feminists (and I'm not in the mood to debate with one). I just think an outburst like that is pretty random (and I've actually seen such outbursts occur).
A/N: Okay, some of you might be thinking, "Dude, what the hell were you smoking? EBISU? And what's with Neji's random appearances? And what kind of an ending was that?" Well, I'm tired and don't feel like explaining myself. Oh yeah, I also don't give a damn about your worthless opinions. I wrote this for someone, and that someone is not you. I will offer excuses for my insane behavior in this fic with an already insane pairing when a) the person for whom I have written this fic for (see top of page) asked for one, and b) I feel like I have excessive energy and willing to kill off a few irretrievable minutes of my time and somehow compelled to edit and add a few words to the author's note, which isn't even the fic itself, and repost it all over again. Ooh, my sarcastic side showing eh? I decided to be a bit more like myself here (or from now on, whichever I feel like). Well, have a nice day you guys! Don't read yaoi! (Hey, maybe I should end all my author's notes with those two sentences from now on. What'cha think? Oh yeah, I don't care…)