The Roll-In or the Twin Bed?

-by J. P. D'Osty-Fernandez

dedicated to all survivors of suicide and other bereaved, and, as ever, to Diane Neal, the wonderful young actress who brings us Casey Novak each week.

Standard Disclaimer: The SVU regulars and guest characters from past cases belong to Dick Wolf, every other character belongs to me.

"Well, Counselor, do the People wish to take the roll-in or the twin bed?"

This brought a hearty laugh from Casey, a laugh so hard that she dropped her briefcase and had to bend half-forward. It took her a few moments to recover enough to speak. Liv started to giggle.

"Thanks, Liv!" she finally forced words out, picking up her briefcase and laying it on the table of the motel room. "I needed that! It's been a long day. Why don't you take the twin? You did most of the driving."

"Yeah, but you're the one that has to argue for extradition tomorrow. Last time we had a perp who ran to Canada, we got lucky. We might hit a less sympathetic judge tomorrow."

A wave of seriousness washed over Casey's face. There was hurt in her eyes.

"Casey, what's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing…I'm just tired. Liv, TAKE the twin bed! That roll-in doesn't look bad at all, and when I lie down, I'll be out like a light. I'm a heavy sleeper. Especially tonight"

"Well…OK, if you insist…"

"I do. Could you give me the keys? I need to get my bag outta the trunk."

Fifteen minutes later, both ladies had changed and were in their respective beds, with the lights out.

"You had Alex the last time you were here."

"Yeah…I remember…she got us our perp."

"Yeah…she was a great prosecutor…I miss her."

"Me too. I miss her very much… I didn't realise that you knew her that well."

"Oh yeah! Alex kept me from getting fired. I had this very heated argument with Nora Lewin, and harsh words were exchanged. Next morning, I'm typing up my letter of resignation at home. Lewin calls me and says 'Get your butt back here, Casey! I can't afford to lose my best ADA.' "

"You were Lewin's best ADA?"

"That's what I asked her. She said 'No, Alex Cabot is my best ADA. She told me "If Casey goes, I go." So, get back here, and we'll forget about yesterday. In the meantime, young lady, you might want to consider—just consider—the possibility that you might sometimes be wrong.' I was stunned."

"That sounds like something Alex would do..." A moment of respectful silence passed. "Did you consider the possibility like Lewin suggested?"

"Have you considered the possibility of being hit by a flying pillow?"

"I thought you were tired."

"I've pitched my share of double and triple overtimes. The DA's team always won. Ask Elliot when we get back home."

"Oooh! I'm s-s-so s-s-scared!" Liv squeezed out in between giggles.

"D-don't…p-push…it…Liv!" Now Casey got the giggles too.

Despite their fatigue, both ladies laughed hard for a few minutes. Then the phone rang. Casey grabbed it.

"Novak."

"Could you two give the comedy a rest?" barked an annoyed Munch at the other end, causing Casey to instinctively bring her other hand up to her face to cover her sheepish grin. "SOME of us are trying to sleep here!"

"Sorry John. We'll keep it down."

"Oh shoot!" stage-whispered Liv, her expression bemused and surprised, like that of a schoolchild who just got caught in an act of mischief, "Did we wake up Munch and Fin?"

"Sounds like it, yah!" responded Casey as she replaced the handset.

"Or, maybe we just interrupted him fantasising about us making out."

"Liv! …You think John would do that?"

"He's a guy, isn't he?"

"Yeah…but John? He's always going off about how the corporations are conspiring to turn us into brainless consumers…I heard him say 'mindless exploitation' on more than one occasion."

"That's what he SAYS! When it comes to sexual fantasies…with ANY guy, that is…all bets are off. In fact, there was this study that found that, if you just say the word 'lesbian,' your man will salivate just like Pavlov's dogs."

"Did this study say why that is?" There was a palpably serious edge to Casey's voice now, an edge a less tired and therefore more perceptive Olivia would have noticed was there the moment Casey called out her name after she made the remark about Munch's alleged fantasising.

"It's just a joke, Casey!"

"Ah, damn! I'm sorry, Liv…I'm sensitive when it comes to gays and lesbians."

"Yeah…I could see that last year when you ripped into Dr. Tate and Dave Seaver's 'expert witness.' You really ripped her a new one."

"She had it coming. Gays and lesbians have it hard enough as it is without some quack adding fuel to the fire. One of my best friends in high school was a lesbian."

"Was?"

"Yeah. I only found out after she committed suicide…long after…I also found out she was in love with me, but was so terrified of being outted—and of being rejected—that she did her best to make sure I never found out. That really hurt me, on top of the hurt from losing her. I loved her very much as a dear friend, and, although I couldn't love her in the way she wanted, I would STILL have loved her just as much. Hell, I STILL love her today. She was a dear, dear person."

"God, Casey! That's horrible! I'm sorry to hear about that!"

"Thanks, Liv…You know why she killed herself? The in-clique somehow found out she was gay, and were using her fear of being outted to torture her…those jerks…but what goes around comes around, and eventually each and every one of them was caught with an open container in Daddy's BMW. So, they all have records."

"But, they bullied her into killing herself. Isn't that at least second-degree, depraved indifference to human life?"

"In New York City, yes. In some other jurisdictions, judges and prosecutors actually think that gay-bashers are doing a public service."

"That's sick!"

"Damn right, it is!"

"I'm just happy we have you on the side of the angels in Manhattan."

"Thanks, Liv…I'm happy to be working with you…but even then…remember when Arthur Branch fired Serena and it came out that she's gay?"

"Yeah?"

"You know John Smith over at Cyber Crime Prosecution?"

"That jerk? The one who thinks he's Rudy Valentino?"

"Exactly. Well, he just won the Jones case at the time, so he thought he was untouchable. He comes up to me and says 'You know this lesbian thing is catching. I can see you and that Benson detective from SVU together.' "

Liv said something unprintable, likening Casey's repulsive colleague to a particularly offencive-smelling anatomical orifice.

"Yeah, well, it's his front end that he had—and still has—to worry about. And he can reach notes that only a dog can hear now."

"Good going, Casey! But technically, that's assault."

"Arthur happened to be there when Smith said what he said. Smith didn't notice, of course. When he got his voice back, he said something about charging me with assault. Arthur said 'Assault? What assault? I saw you fall. And if you want to push it, CSU is going to need to separate your family jewels from you so they can take them to the lab and match the dent in them to Casey's knee. And if I remember my forensics, knees aren't like bullets or fingerprints. They don't have signatures.' "

"Serves him right…you know, I see your point, now…Exploitation is a form of violence...Wish there was a law against it."

"I don't! I would have to prosecute all my brothers if there was. All of them are married, the youngest is thirty-three, and they STILL all look at 'adult entertainment.' "

"And you know this because…"

"Because I grew up with them, and they still use code words like they did when they were teenagers. It was actually kind of sweet of them to try to mask their magazine collection as 'the old Regents's exam samples' or 'the Chemistry notes' when they were in a position where they had to talk about them in front of me and my mother. Problem was, they all flunked chemistry so bad they had to retake it, and they only passed the Regents' by a hair, so I figured out that they were less studious than they made themselves out to be."

"And you being you, I bet you had a look at their 'old Regents's exam samples!' "

"Actually, no. I was about eleven or twelve at the time, and when they came home with long faces and their test results, I quite naively asked 'But weren't you studying your old exams all last week?' "

"They couldn't have been too happy about that."

"They weren't happy about their test results. My Dad knew about their magazine collection. So did my Mom, as it turns out. I was the only one who was out of the loop—until I was about fifteen or so. Then, my youngest brother explained things to me when I asked for the notes so I could study for chemistry."

"That must have been awkward for him!"

"Oh, yes it was! And I was merciless too! I played completely dumb—of course by then, I knew as much about the facts of life as he did, and probably a thing or two more than that—and let him turn all shades and colours of the rainbow as he tried to explain things. At one point, when he was on his umpteenth "Casey…ah…let me put this another way…', I cut in and said 'Oh, you mean you like to look at pictures of naked ladies so you can imagine you're making out with them! Do you ever get past first base?' He was LIVID!"

This evoked a laugh from Liv.

"Shhhhhhh! Your gonna wake John and Fin again!"

"Ho-kay, o-kay, I'm quiet!" responded Liv. Then, the giggles subsided. "I always wondered what it was like to grow up with a father and siblings."

"Oh…I forgot, Liv…I'm sorry…"

"That's very considerate of you, Casey, but don't be sorry. It was very nice to hear about your family."

"You know, it felt good to share that. We have so much sickness to deal with every day, that it's refreshing to talk about something innocent for a change."

"It is…You know something, Casey? It's also nice talking to you outside of work like this. You're actually a pretty funny person and pleasant to be around."

There was a momentary silence.

"That's very kind of you, Liv. Thank you…You're very sweet yourself. I always had a feeling that you were a very sensitive person. You're certainly very forgiving and understanding. Remember my first SVU case and how I screwed up the lineup? You had every right to be angry as hell, and to tell me to get into a new line of work. But you did just the opposite. I never really had a chance to tell you this, Liv, but the fact that you were very supportive that day touched me. I'll never forget that."

"I'm very happy the way things turned out. You have a lot of passion Casey, and a lot of compassion too. Not to mention your magic tricks!"

"Magic tricks?

"YEAH, magic tricks, as in pulling rabbits out of the hat, like those warrants you got for Humphrey Becker's locker at the cigar place, and for 'Sebastian Ballantine' 's apartment—not to mention how you got B.J. Cameron to cooperate."

Casey chuckled when she heard the name "Sebastian Ballantine."

"What?"

"You should have seen Fin when I got him the warrant for Ballantine. I told him 'I fixed you the warrant, now you fix the door.' The Captain was standing right next to us. Apparently, he didn't hear about the door. So, Fin did all these cool facial contortions and hand signs to try to get me to shut up. You had to be there."

"I heard about that. Fin had some not-so-nice things to say about you after that."

"I'll live and so will he." Then, the smile disappeared from Casey's face. "Ballantine really got to Elliot. So did Gordon Rickett the week before that. You know, Liv, I'm worried about Elliot. He opened up to me about three weeks after his wife left him. But, he's been so closed lately. It's really hard to watch him suffer and not be able to do much about it."

"I know. These days he's tight-lipped even with me, and we've been partners for a long time now. Tell you the truth, I'm not too crazy about him staying behind on this one. I don't like the idea of him being alone right now."

"I don't either…but, I don't think he's going to do anything stupid. He has four kids that love him. I met his two youngest, his twins, once. Very sweet. They love him very much, and Elliot loves them. I don't think he would do anything that would end up hurting them. But, I hate to see him hurting like that."

There was a lull.

"The game is coming up in a few weeks, isn't it?"

"Huh?"

"The DA—Police ballgame."

"Oh, yeah. In four weeks. Shoot! I need to hit the batting cages when we get back."

"Well, I'll tell you what, Casey. A week or so before the game, when you come into the squad-room, tell Elliot 'Don't forget your leaf-blower.' He'll be like 'My what?' So tell him 'Your leaf blower. You know? So, you can blow off all the dust I'm going to cover you with at the game next week? Because the way you're moping about, even Jabba the Hut can score homerun after homerun while you just stand there depressed.' "

"That would be cruel!"

"Yes…Remember Holly Purcell?"

"Yeah?"

"Elliot was racked out in the back. He didn't want to get his sorry behind out of bed when you were prepping Holly. So, I told him, 'Go ahead! You'll just be one more man who let her down.' That got him up. If you taunt him directly like that, I think he'll respond. If nothing else, he'll see that he's also hurting you—and the rest of us—by shutting us out."

Casey considered this.

"You know, Liv, that makes perfect sense…now YOU'RE the one pulling rabbits out of a hat!"

"Yeah, working with you does tend to have that effect on people."

"That tone of voice…I don't know if that was intended as a compliment or an insult…and my batting may be rusty, but my pitching arm is still in perfect working condition."

"Ah, let's not start that again! This time, Fin's not going to apologise for busting down our door to tell us to shut it."

"Well, that's true… Munch and Fin are doing something we should be doing."

"You mean sleeping?"

"Yes."

"Not a bad idea actually." The last word came out as a yawn. "I'm about ready to turn in."

"You don't need my permission."

"I wasn't asking either, teacher! Goodnight Casey."

" 'Night Liv. And try not to snore, if you can. I have a feeling Fin and Munch won't like that either!"