Nostalgia
by Black Wisteria
I. Hitomi
And her eyes of emerald sparkled in the night skies,
she gazed at me with thoughts of love and sweet sentiments,
and I knew that this emerald would never be mine...
-Anonymous
An old woman in her late seventies sat by her rocking chair, gazing along the sea. Vermillion streaks hurled in the late afternoon skies, depicting days of sadness and solitary companionship. The waves gently glided in the sand, coming and leaving. That was her life from the beginning, Coming and leaving…
The cool summer breeze danced around her, whispering words of sweet regret from her past love. She held her hand-knitted shawl closer, warming herself with factual warmth, loving, wistful warmth she longed for 48 years.
Van…
A girl of the infantile age of 18, walked aimlessly to her home. The sun was setting and another day was again, about to end. Twisting the cold metal, she entered her abode with a sad, morose façade.
She lied in her bed, gazing nonchalantly at the setting of the sun in her window. She never liked sunsets; it reminded her of what she lost 3 years ago. Something, she thought, she could have prevented.
The girl sat silently in her chair, elbows resting in the table. She opened her window as a gentle wind blew her honeycombed hair. Placing her Grapefruit CD in her player, it started with a sweet melodic chime…
If I let go of your hand clasped in mine,
with that, it would all probably come to an end right now.
What I wanted to know, and even what hurts me-
even those were left undone.
"Here Van, Take this..."
Goodbye...
I love you
more than anyone else.
Deeply than the sky.
"Hitomi..."
Don't cry.
We'll meet again, right?
But not being able to see you
is something that only I know about.
This fate that we've chosen...
someday you too will understand its true meaning.
The treasure of memories that we've made
will always live deep inside my heart.
"Hitomi... I'll never let you..."
"Van..."
I thought it was a beautiful thing,
the word called hope.
In an almost painful embrace,
I'm looking up at you.
"I'll never forget you... Even when I grow old... I'll never forget..."
Don't cry.
I love you.
Even though we're far apart,
I can still be with you.
"I promise…"
Hold me.
Don't let go.
But don't utter
even a single thing...
Her reverie came to a stop when a single feather floated silently in her midst, tears starting to swell from her eyes…
Van…
"Grandmother?"
A girl of 15 asked, kneeling beside her. "What are you doing here, grandmother? It's cold here... Let's go inside." Her grandmother with old, jade eyes smiled at her grand daughter's lush green ones. "Hoshino, I'm so glad you came to visit…" The girl smiled back, and laid her head on her grandmother's lap, "Of course grandma, how could I forget…"
Hoshino's grandmother combed her dark hair with her long hands. How she remembered her young years when she was free and was filled with invigorating youth. How she envied her granddaughter; her adventure in life was about to start, hers was about to end.
Hoshino doze of peacefully within her grandmother's presence. Her scent was nice, it had this mix of lush forests and a secret garden filled with flowers of indescribable smell. It reminded Hoshino of a castle in a faraway land… a fairytale….
"Hoshino," her grandmother said, "Have you heard the story 'The Girl from the Mystic Moon'?" Hoshino looked up to her grandmother and shook her head. Much to her content, the old lady obliged.
Once upon a time, there lived a girl with eyes of verdant fields; her eyes were like yours Hoshino, eyes of perfect emeralds. She was like any other girl in our time, she was smart and was a very good athlete. She loved everyone and had this certain eye for a young man older than her years, the young man named Amano.
The girl's love, Amano, was about to leave her country and that deeply saddened her. Bringing up all her courage, she confessed her love for him and asked him that if she could run the fastest of her old time in their track, he would give her first kiss.
That night she readied herself for her run and when she was running, a boy wearing samurai armor bumped into her, she was startled at the young man, for he was the same boy in her visions. Alas, their short introductions came to a halt when a ferocious dragon appeared out of nowhere and charged the young man. He then ordered them to seek for safety and they did, running in an old shrine.
But the dragon followed his new prey and when it reached them, the young man with sword battled him. The girl with clairvoyant powers, saw his untimely death, ran and warned him. To her surprise, it has saved his very life. The young man killed the dragon, taking a precious cerise colored stone in the dragon's chest.
The young man's uncouth words and ways angered the young lady clouting the young man with disgust. Tears started to flow from her eyes and to her surprise, she felt weightless, her feet above the ground. A pillar of light showered upon her, together with the strange young man. When she opened her eyes she realized that she was no longer in her world, for she saw her own world and her moon way up in the sky. Her adventure in a world called Gaea was about to begin…
The green-eyed girl wiped a single tear in her cheeks as she saw the feather quickly disappearing from her grasp. Rising up, she quietly headed outside. The song silently continuing its sad requiem.
The afternoon twilight was in the air. Hitomi walked aimlessly, hands tucked obliviously to her pockets. Trees that were once the shade of celadon was now tinge with the color of titian harmony. The Girl from the Mystic Moon stopped to look at the dry leaves falling from the trees, reminding her greatly of white, unsullied feathers from a person she once, and always loved.
People ride a gondola, drifting and floating away,
meeting, then parting.
A short mid-summer.
Sadness and happiness repeat again.
Children played happily in the park as she mutely watched them from afar. The sun's setting rays smiling upon them. A twinge of pain and desolation heaved within her. Young she was yet old is what have become of her because of years of constant sadness and loneliness; for what she once decided was now regretted. I could've stayed…
A damp wind
strokes my cheek.
Forget everything.
Break it off.
And tomorrow,
This small being
will love you too.
Lovers held their hands together as they ran past her, shoving her gently in such a way that she envied them. The woman surrendering herself to her lover's warmth. They were in love, a love she yearned and dreamed about; her eyes glistened dully at them. Wishing, wishing.
This one-time love
will end eventually, but
I think you will stay
with me for eternity.
The girl was downtrodden after what she felt, heard of her 'friend's' suffering. She wasn't with him during the fight but she could feel him, as if a thread bounded his emotions to her. Guilt surged through her as she heard his words. 'I'll protect her'
She never wanted this, his sacrifice for her own sake. It wasn't suppose to be like this, was her only thoughts. The knight, together with the King of Dragons arrived from the capitol planning for another attack when the Girl from the Mystic Moon showed up. Her eyes were stern, a hint of sadness forming in her eyes. She never wanted this, she explained, but the king told her that it was for her safety, her protection. Emotions furled in her heart as she wished, wished for someone to bring her back, back to her own world.
A blinding pillar of light engulfed her, taking her away from the world she have known as Gaea, she was back to where it all started. Earth.
She opened her eyes when she realized that she was back from her homeland, startled to meet eyes of pure caramel. "Amano?"
The young man that once took her heart was there, she was startled. Things, events, happened to their own accord; it was that same day. The day before that fateful day.
Again, her best friend told her that Amano was leaving the country and begged her to tell her feelings to him. She was saddened by her best friend's words. She truly cared for him, and it's just now that she just noticed… Amano wasn't meant for her, he was meant for her best friend.
The girl from the illusionary moon pondered aimlessly at the events lain before her. Everything was back from the start, and it was her choice to choose the right decision; she didn't want to go back but something inside her heart, resented it.
She rode her way home by the train, she was the only passenger. Silently, she sat gloomily gazing at the sea and to the moon, disappointed to find out that there was only one. Memories flashed to her mind. Gaea was a war-ridden world, why would she return? Nobody wanted her there, tears started to form in her eyes when a single feather startled her, lying beside her. He, the Dragon King she thought. Her single touch and the feather dematerializes before her. She never wanted to be there, why would she be bothered by thoughts of him, why him?
The girl with jade eyes arrived at her home; she laid in her bed, contemplating the events that happened earlier. Her best friend's love for her upperclassman.
An invisible force shook her when a gentle wind entered her room, a single tarot card levitated in front of her. The Tower.
Rising up with little strength, the girl stood over her tarot cards, wishing that it wasn't calling her, drawing her into it's power. She hesitantly took a card from the deck, whispering words of negativity, she didn't want to return. "Why, Why now…"
The Ace of Serpents. "Why, I don't want to go back there" she moaned. An image almost a vision appeared in front of her, Escaflowne, then a man stood by the shadows, looking at her with pensive eyes.. ."Van.."
The young girl's eyes started to swell. "She loved him without realizing it, am I right grandmother?" Hoshino said wiping her tears. She felt deep sadness for the girl, she never realized that she loved him, blinded by her selfish interests. "Yes, she did," her old lady replied, tears unnoticed by her dear grand daughter.
The girl realized that she needed to see him, her heart wanted it and she wanted it as well. Amano, together with her best friend was there, to support her all the way. Preparing herself for her flight, she waited. "Are you ready?" Amano asked. "I'm ready, when you are Amano!" she replied, her mind focused to him, only to her angel. "Go!"
She ran like that of the first night she met him, but now with a different purpose, she was running to reach him.
The eighth second came as a blue pillar of light descended from the skies. Inside it was a man riding a white dragon. He reached out to her, and she to him. As she held his hands, she felt euphoria, happiness in its purest form. Taking him to her arms, she held him tight as if she would never let go…
After walking for sometime, she realized that she was in her school again. Its' gate was still open, and she obligingly entered.
The wind stroked her hair, standing alone in the track field, the sunset still taunting her. She removed her jacket and placed it to the nearest bench. She breathed for a couple of moments then started to run, as if she was outrunning destiny…
Sweat trickled down to her face as she gazed once more of the subtle rays. She was waiting for something, someone she lost from her earlier years, and she always wished she hadn't.
They gazed into each other's eyes, each have realized their feelings for one another. Unspoken, the Girl from the Mystic Moon asked what would happened to her and even though she already knew the answer, she waited for him. For she wanted him to tell her to stay.
"Escaflowne should be kept asleep. My brother wished for a Fanelia and Gaea where no one relies on it. I want to see the world like that." He said to her, maroon colored eyes spoke the truth and even though it has hurt her, she tried her best not to cry for it would've scarred her more. "I want to see that with you. I wonder if I can... I like Gaea and Fanelia." Was her only reply.
The man she called Van looked at her with eyes full of happiness, yet he knew that it wasn't her home. With his heart full of guilt and now with sadness, he weakly smiled. "If you want to do so, it's alright with me. But we can see each other anytime, as long as we share a common feeling."
His voiced echoed in her mind, tears rolling gently in her cheeks. "Van.."
Hoshino's cheeks were now stained with her tears, she didn't know why she cried. Hoshino knew that it was just some story that her grandmother had made up, but there was inside of her that she knew that it wasn't just a story, it was rather a memory she came by; a painful memory of a long-forgotten past. Hoshino was surprised to feel something wet flowing from her cheeks, and she knew that those tears weren't coming from her. Grandmother?
The young girl grasped her pendant from her chest, feeling its warmth for the last time. Taking it off, she held it and gave it to the very person she cared and loved most. He reached out his hand and received her memento. He held her in his sturdy arms, tightly, as if he never wants to let go.
The Girl from the Mystic Moon cried once more, crystal tears depicting sadness and a longing to stay in his arms. "I'll never forget you, even if I become old. I'll never forget, no matter what..." was her words. Closing her eyes, Van the King of dragons, held out the heart of the dragon and a pillar of light raised her, still, he held her hands. Not wanting to let go. "I'll never forget."
Men, women and beasts alike waved goodbye to girl who changed their lives. A girl who changed their war-ridden lands with peace and prosperity. The girl who they knew came from the transcendent land from above, The Mystic Moon.
A year later, the history of the Destiny War have passed and the Girl from the Mystic Moon lived in peace, or so she thought so. Memories of her adventures for so long ago flashed into her as she gazed into the sea, reminiscing the days of her life to the other world called Gaea when, an angel, seated in the shoreline smiled at her, wearing her given memento. She smiled, for so long time she didn't. "I'm doing fine, Van"
Hitomi was now in the train station when it was almost six o'clock. The sun was almost nearing the horizon when she noticed that it was the same platform where she last saw him.
"I'm doing fine..."
She gazed carefully at the same shoreline where he sat, wings of pure white unfurled. Hoping that he would once again greet her with that same smile, Hitomi waited. The train she was waiting for already stopped, waiting for passengers to come in yet she never entered. Tears forming in her eyes, Van... The train passed by, leaving her behind. She waited, minutes passed and it was still there, the vermilion horizon, but he wasn't. He's not coming back...
Tears flowed from her cheeks, kneeling unconsciously to the ground. Why do I keep on hoping that he'll come… why?
Silence, mutely as birds passed by, there was only silence. The Girl from the Mystic Moon was still hoping… hoping that her angel would've come and held her hand, bringing her to his kingdom. But he never came.
Years and years have passed after the Destiny War ended, Gaea was now in peace. The heroes of the said war retired and lived happily to the end of their days, gratitude given to the girl who gave them a so-called perfect world. After years of countless waiting, Millerna remarried her long-time fiancé, Dryden Fassa. They ruled wisely and had sons, daughters and grandchildren who loved them dearly up to their peaceful passing. Eries, Millerna's older sister dedicated herself to the poor, reaching out, she became a nun and swore to a life of poverty and resiliency. Allen and Celena Shezar, together with his crusade became constant travelers, wandering in distant lands, living jolly, as they would always think they would be. Duke Chid, crowned duchy of Fried, became a wise ruler, who ruled his people with honest sincerity, as his late father would have. Before he passed away, he knew of his parentage and he took it up wholly as a great man and many of his followers said that he was glad to have known the truth. Merle became a dedicated servant for the orphans who lost their family in the war. She became a great figure in Gaean society. And so they lived long enough to see their sons, daughters and grandchildren grow into fine men and woman who gave Gaea it's sought after peace.
"Grandmother?" Hoshino looked up to her grandma, tears erased from her fair face and asked, "What happened to the King of Dragons? Van? The Girl from the Mystic Moon? What happened to them?" The old woman's eyes softened, how could she forget the most important characters of her story? Her history?
She arrived at home like nothing happened, yet, her face looked more burdened, painful as what her faced looked before.
Silently, she turned off her radio that was emitting heat from the hours of playing. She removed her jacket, her scarf and lied in her bed, it was already nighttime and it drifted her to sleep…
Hitomi woke up with the sound of nature around her, birds were chirping a sweet melody. She gently opened her eyes to be a little surprised to a butterfly that rested in the tip of her nose, she smiled and gently guided the butterfly to her finger. She gazed at it lovingly, alas, it flown away from her sight when a voice, almost inaudible, called her.
"Hitomi.."
She realized now that she wasn't in her bedroom anymore, she was in a steep place, a single tree covering her from the sun's rays. There were meadows and birds flying in the sky. Nature was around her and even though this was a bit unusual for her, she felt peace.
"Hitomi" the overpowering voice said, but somehow, she knew that it was quite familiar.
She noticed a girl younger of her years stood anterior to a groove of trees. The girl had the greenest eyes she could've ever imagined, her dark brown hair was divided into two braids. In her hand was a pink pinwheel, clad in a decorative blue kimono, she knew.
"Grandmother?"
Hitomi's grandmother nodded and she continued to speak. "Do you want to know what significant event is happening this very moment, dear child?" Hitomi was a bit startled, and answered mutely "I don't know what you mean…"
Her grandmother smiled and broke into a graceful run, disappearing into the grove of tall trees and to Hitomi's instinct, she followed her. The trees were taller and light seems to pass through it, creating a mystical glow. She could still see her grandmother, but she was quickly disappearing "Grandmother!"
Hitomi stopped to her knees as she tried her best to gather energy for another run, before she could even stand up, she suddenly heard indistinct sounds of people in the eastern part of the grove. Losing herself to the choral sounds, she unconsciously followed it, forgetting that she was following her grandmother.
She know realized that her body seems so real... yes, she thought that this was a dream for it had been so long since her grandmother visited her in her dreams. Yet this dream seems so… real. She could even feel the warmth of the sun passing through the copse of trees…
The sound became more distinct, louder than before. She was in a small cliff when she spotted crowds of men and women. There seemed to be an aisle in between, covering the lush greenery with white linen cloth. The place seems very familiar, so familiar that she felt that she was there before.
It was a really good thing that she was up in that cliff for she got a good look at the place. There were so many people gathered around. Murmurs were buzzing around at every corner. She stood quietly among the trees and wondered what was the commotion about. Her jade eyes fell upon a man in front of an altar wearing white traditional clothes and beside him was an older man with short, blonde hair. She was gazing intently at the raven-haired man that she was suddenly startled when trumpet like sounds bellowed in the whole greenery. It was very unusual, she thought, the shrine, the trees; it reminded her greatly of…
"Reiana Marielle de Egzard, Princess Egzardia!"
A baritone voice bellowed as Hitomi's eyes traveled to the young man to the woman in clad white. She was beautiful, Hitomi thought, She thought that she may be the same age that she was, but wondered no more. The woman's dark brown hair flowed freely from her shoulders as she wore a simple dress with a tight bodice that complimented her curves. It had no frills yet it had long trail of silk that shone glamorously in Hitomi's eyes. The woman's dress was an off shoulder, which showed her fair skin. A transparent veil covered her fair face as the sun's rays showered gently on it. She held in her hand a bouquet of white roses that almost disappeared in her immaculate gown. Her gloves were long enough to reach her elbows. She wore a simple silver necklace and earrings, glittered with diamonds and her eyes were deep cerulean blue. Even though the woman didn't look at her, her beauty drowned the Girl from the Mystic Moon.
Hitomi then noticed that at the end of her gown's trail, followed a young woman with cerise colored hair and tan skin. Her hair flowed freely in her shoulders with cute curls at the end of it. She was somehow familiar in her eyes, but she didn't know where to start. The following girl had long pale blonde hair, her eyes were the color of the skies, she held in her hand the same bouquet the earlier woman held. The last was an older woman with amethyst eyes, her hair was pulled in a bun and she wore a small tiara in her head. Beside them were three men. The first man was rather shorter than the other men behind him. He had cat-like characteristics and had dark hair. The other man had tidy teal hair and he looked so gallant in his white suit. The last one was the tallest, he had short brown hair that was tidied up. He had eyes like of those of Hitomi and again, the feeling of familiarity was around her.
It was some wedding, she thought, as the priest started to mumble some incoherent words. She hastily remembered that she was indeed following her grandmother. As she was about to turn her back to chase once more her young grandmother, her heart ached, and shattered a thousand pieces when she suddenly heard the words of the priest.
"Van Salanzar de Fanel, King of Fanelia!"
She was frozen, yet, even though half of herself wanted to leave, her other ego, tried it's best from her state. She gazed once more of the man she saw earlier.
"Do you take, Reiana Marielle de Egzard, Princess Egzardia as your wife and Queen of all Fanelia?"
It hit her, it was Van's wedding, that's why it was familiar, the trees, the altar, this was the place were she was lifted back…home… Fanelia... The people, Merle… tears started to swell from her eyes as she saw her friend passively. Celena, Gaddess, Millerna, Dryden and Allen… It was his wedding… his wedding…
Hitomi tried her best to stand firmly I her position, though her knees were already weak, like her heart was. Please don't… Van….
" I…" the king's eyes filled with deep anxiety as he looked up to his smiling bride. Moments pass and the young man didn't speak a word. Closing his eyes, as if his words would curse him forever.
Tears started to swell from her eyes, her heart was beginning to sink obliviously. Please... don't...
" I, Van Salanzar de Fanel," The young man gazed at his bride with hint of sadness, a piercing emotion stung him. He was waiting for something... someone... "King of all Fanelia accept her to be my lawful wedded wife and the Queen of my country."
She froze from her position as if time stopped for her sake. She was oblivious to the cheers of men and women as tears continued to fall... She tried to move her mouth, dry with her words, Angel...
She broke into a run, dare not to turn back. She ran, tears in her face and the wind whispering her to come back. To where? To whom? I'm don't belong here...
She stumbled down in a pile of sharp stones, gashing her knees. She lied in the bed of thorns, her cheeks stained with tears while blood bathed her dressed.
Why... she thought tears still strangling in her face. Why did her grandmother have to show this to her? To torment her? Is it not enough to see her suffer because of their parent's death? Is it not enough? And now she broke her heart into pieces by showing her how happy he is with arms to another? Why?
The Girl from the Mystic Moon learned that her love wasn't enough to reach her beloved king. She cried, and cried for nights, her eyes were all red and swollen from crying, even her younger brother couldn't spare her sister's pain for he didn't know what she was crying about. Months and years have passed and it still stung her and because she wanted the torment to end, she burned everything that was related to her past life in Gaea, including her precious Tarot Cards. Years have passed and even though she tried her best to forget, deep inside her heart, she always remembered. Never a day to forget about the young king who broke her heart. Years and years have passed, she tried to move on. She graduated and had a good job and became a successful woman. She had everything a man ever dreamed about, she was rich and had a good heart. Yet, she answered to no one. Years and years have passed and she became an old lady and she took care of her grandchildren, loving them as if it was hers. Years and years have passed, her once hazelnut hair was now gray and dull, her eyes were no longer emeralds but with a dry color of green, but she was happy. For after 48 years of maturity, she knew and understood that her beloved was happy, and knowing that, made her happy as well.
"Grandmother, I think she was, I think she knew all this time, that he loved her… he loved her that even though they didn't marry, she knew in her heart that the King of Dragons, loved her." Hoshino looked up to her grandmother closed eyelids and saw that her grandmother was smiling, she then saw a tear-shaped stone that hung in her neck. Tears in her eyes, holding her grandmother tight, she smiled. "Be happy grandmother…"
A young girl of 15 stood by the shore, watching as the sun sets. She wore a brown Japanese uniform which she knew that it had been so long that she wore one. The waves washed over her now soaked rubber shoes. She silently smirked Coming and going...
Looking up, she saw a familiar shoreline by the horizon, it was the same place where she last saw him. Angel...
A single feather floated in front of her and holding it closer, tears flowed in her eyes…. It's just a dream…
And as tears flowed from here eyes, numerous feather floated, drifted quietly in her midst, immaculate wings of an angel engulfed her, lifting her head she saw the most precious person she wanted to love most.
Hitomi…