The happier time would fade away though and be nearly blotted out by a tragic event. Alexander killed Cleitus. It had been three days now and he was still staying in his tent, refusing to see anybody and crying his heart out. Bagoas was taking care of him. Whatever he could do to bring solace to his King he did. He was deeply hurt to see the man he loved in such deep pain.

Hephaistion had visited him just after the incident then hadn't shown up again. The king needed to grieve, to be alone and the general had decided to wait. But after all this time, his lover was still a mess and it was becoming dangerous. People wondered about their king. They were beginning to become divided.

The murder of Cleitus by Alexander in a drunken rage had been a shock for everyone, even for Hephaistion. Not that he liked Cleitus any more than the others. Cleitus had been Phillip's favorite and a very conservative man. Hephaistion just didn't fully trust him. But Cleitus, and of this he was sure, loved Alexander simply because he was Phillip's son and his feelings for his king had been genuine.

The general didn't mourn Cleitus, he mourned Alexander's pain. He knew the guilt over killing Cleitus was overwhelming him. But now his beloved's grief had gone too far and too long. Alexander stood poised to lose more than a companion and friend with that one death.

Resolute he entered the king's tent. Bagoas looked up at him. The general was dressed in black, his skin was paler than usual. Was this because of the black clothes or because he hadn't slept for two nights he wondered. What shocked Bagoas was that the general wore a very upset and angry face and he didn't hesitate to glower at Alexander.

Just after Hephaistion arrived they heard the queen arrive and Hephaistion exited, it didn't take him more than a moment to push the Queen and her new ally Cassander out of the tent.

Roxanne and Cassander felt once again insulted by Hephaistion. She was the queen and she had been reduced to nothing. Alexander's lover had mocked her, and grinned wickedly at her when she had said her husband needed her. He'd treated her as though she were common servant. Scorned her as if she was a silly fool, stupid enough to ask the obvious, did Alexander need Hephaistion?

When Hephaistion came back into the tent, he began to shake the king with harsh words and looks. Bagoas couldn't understand, didn't he see that the King was suffering? Was that how he was supposed to treat the man he loved and who was grieving? Hephaistion's words scared Bagoas. The king was saying he had failed and Hephaistion was talking about not being guilty of arrogance. He was listening, wondering how he could ask that of his king.

" You don't realize Alexander, you are doing exactly what they want! You are going, if you continue to mourn like that, to lose it all! All that you've done! All that you have struggled for!"

Bagoas gave a new cup of wine to his king who was cuddling to him like a child who needed his mother and didn't want to hear the sermon.

"They are judging you, they are insulting you! You cannot allow it! All they see is themselves, now they are rich enough, they want to go back, even better they want you at their feet. But Alexander the truth is, you made them, they owe you! Not the other way around and they are forgetting it! They are selfish, closed minded. What you want is so much bigger and wiser than their little world where they think they are superior! They can't understand it!" Hephaistion took Alexander's face in his hands and continued to plead with him.

" They need you Alexander this is the truth and they played with you, with your feelings to make you believe it is you who needed them. Alexander you are not only the king of Macedonia anymore! You are now, the king of the world, if Macedonia doesn't want to follow you! The world will follow you and they won't have any choice but to follow you!" he said firmly.

The king was listening and said with a weak voice

"I don't know, I don't know anymore Hephaistion.."

"Listen Alexander. In your heart you have a dream, that is my dream too, our dream, if you want to give it up because of them, well that's your choice, you want to waste all what you've done until now? It's up to you too. But you have to ask yourself the hard questions, will you be able to look at yourself in a mirror again if you fail in your dream because of jealous people. Which goals are more noble and right? Yours or theirs?"

Hephaistion took his hand from his lover's face and crossed his arms.

"You know what I want, you know what they want now decide what YOU really want my friend but you have to do it now!" he ordered.

Without even a glance at Bagoas, Hephaistion was very annoyed with him because of the motherly attitude the eunuch had taken toward his lover, he ordered him into action.

"Bagoas, go prepare his bath and order a dinner enough for two."

Bagoas looked at his king, who nodded to him to execute the orders. Alexander stood up and looked at his dearest friend.

"What would I do without you?"

Hephaistion's face softened at the sorrow and pain in Alexander's voice.

" It won't be easy, they are divided but I will be there. We are going to get through this together, my Achilles."

Alexander loved to hear Hephaistion call him his Achilles. They embraced and he held his lover tightly.

" You are a great man Alexander, never forget that, never let someone else say otherwise, all that you've done is yours and only yours."

"That's not true," interrupted Alexander, "it's ours."

Hephaistion smiled and repeated "Ours".

After the India disaster Bagoas who had heard Hephaistion's speech to the king was truly angry with the general. His beloved king could have died and he blamed the whole thing on Hephaistion. He decided he would ignore the general the best he could. They were now back at home, and even Roxanne was no longer a rival. She was too busy insuring that the other wives wouldn't become pregnant before her.

Time passed and Bagoas slowly pushed aside his anger. Of course, he'd never dared to show his anger to anyone. Angry or not he still had questions about Hephaistion and his part in Alexander's life. Maybe he had been unfair with Alexander's lover. After all, the king wasn't someone who could have been manipulated so easily. He trusted his king and his judgment. So, maybe Hephaistion wasn't that bad, maybe he only saw him in a dark light because it was easier for Bagoas to lie to himself - to be in denial than to see the "good side" of the mysterious lover. Maybe the two men did indeed truly love each other. He recalled the words that Ptolemy had spoken long ago.

Even if the man was truly hated, he also had some allies. Bagoas noticed that most of them were Persian, like Narssasse, who had come for a visit few months ago. The handsome Persian had driven Alexander crazy. He was clearly in love with Hephaistion and had tried everything to seduce the man. Alexander had been jealous, but he knew the scoundrel was also a friend of his beloved Hephaistion so he tried his best to respect their friendship. Alexander suspected Narssasse and Hephaistion flaunted their friendship in front of him, if only to get a rise from him.

Although, Alexander had ranted on and on about the whole situation and said how he couldn't wait to see the noble Persian leave, he also seemed to have developed a liking for the man – almost against his will. Between the three of them, they all were brave, almost reckless, and each understood the other. It was more a game between the three than a serious war. A war Narssasse knew he couldn't win. But the young man had been a breath of fresh air to both of them. The two most powerful men of the world could be so girlish, thought the eunuch as he smiled.

Unfortunately, just when Bagoas was more inclined to be open and allow himself to begin to see Hephaistion in a kinder light, the general died. Alexander's grief was all encompassing. Bagoas did not recognize the man, his king, whom he so loved. He was worried for Alexander, a king who now drowned his sorrow in strong drink.

He entered Alexander's room. Just as he had done yesterday and for too many days now Alexander sat on a chair and stared blankly at his desk.

"Majesty?" asked Bagoas.

No answer. Bagoas took a brush and begun to slowly brush the king's shortened hair. He missed the longer style he'd always worn before Hephaistion's death.

"I worry for you my king, you drink more than you eat, you don't take care of your health like you used to…" He paused and decided to go on - even if it meant risking the king's wrath.

"I fear you will never come back from Arabia. You are a shadow of your former self. You must take care of yourself, my king. You have aged 10 years in not as many months." He said sadly, as he continued to brush the now silvered hair.

Finally, the king seemed to recover from his seemingly comatose state.

"I am fine, Bagoas." He said with a weak smile, his voice a mere whisper.

Bagoas did not believe him.

"My king, please tell me about the general Amyntor?" he asked softly.

Alexander was surprised by the question but, at least it brought him his full attention. Bagoas must truly be concerned he thought, nothing else would pries such a bold question from his lips.

"What do you want me to say Bagoas? You knew him." He said in reply. Offering nothing more that would enlighten the eunuch.

Bagoas shook his head. Took a deep breath and forged ahead.

"No, I didn't. In fact Majesty, nobody knew him but you. I've heard so much about him, so much of it bad, and full of ill will – never many good words, but for everybody he is a complete mystery. Only you, my king, know who Hephaistion really was."

Alexander made no reply. He sat silent, musing for a moment at the eunuch's query and sad observation that most of what he'd been told about Hephaistion had been bad. It pained him to know that so many had hated the man he loved so dearly. To know that had it not been for their relationship Hephaistion would have been loved by all. Bagoas was right, only he knew of the deep sadness that hid in the gentle general's heart. Only he knew of the times he held and comforted Hephaistion when the taunts and jealousy finally became too much to bear alone.

"In fact, a lot of people are wondering the same as me, my king. I hope I don't offend you majesty, but Hephaistion was a living mystery to us."

Bagoas wanted Alexander to talk about his beloved, he thought that, by talking, Alexander could begin to bury him properly and therefore let go of some of his grief and begin to live again.

But the king still did not provide any answers. His mind seemed to be once more far, far away from the room, far from the reality. Then Alexander remembered with amazing clarity an event from his life with Hephaistion.

The two young teenagers were cuddling on Alexander's bed they had just finished reading together, aloud, a part of the Iliad.

"You see, Hephaistion, at the end the only thing that mattered was what you'd done. It that way, you stay immortal like our heroes." Alexander said caught up in the text as he always became. Hephaistion loved the passion in his voice when he spoke about the Illiad.

Hephaistion nodded in agreement and kissed Alexander's cheek.

"You agree with me, but you refused to sign your drawing Hephaistion," Stated he young prince, it was his oblique attempt to start rehashing the scene from the cave.

"Do you know why I love the myths and the heroes so much, Alexander?" Hephaistion sighed and began not wishing to go round and round again about their day in the cave. But Alexander was never one to be denied.

"Because they have done amazing things?" said Alexander.

"Certainly, but that's not the entire reason. You see the very interesting thing is that you don't know where the truth begins and where the fiction starts. We don't know enough to be sure it all happened that way or not. Myths are mysterious. How can reality become a Myth? What was true and what was untold? That's the mystery about it all. That's what I love."

Alexander's eyes lit up with understanding. He stared at Hephaistion urging him with his eyes to continue.

"You know how much time I spend reading and rereading the myths? Trying to try and search out their source to dig and dig for answers in the words and to know more about it? Alexander it is why this is really quite like work for me. More difficult than most would think because you don't know the exact truth, if you did know the truth, they wouldn't be myths any longer. And at any time people could stop to reading them, but they don't and that's because of our curiosity to know more; that is what keeps them alive."

Alexander paused as he too now had a thought. Hephaistion was a marvel sometimes. So quiet and still yet deep inside him hid so many intricacies. Alexander wondered if he would ever discover them all.

"Is this why? You didn't want to sign your drawing? You desire to become a Myth my Hephaistion?" Alexander teased.

Hephaistion nodded, bashfully. "When I am and I boast of my deeds will you still love me my Alexander?" he batted away the light slap that Alexander had aimed at him settled back against his friends chest and went on. "You are destined for great things Alexander, I know it, and your name will stay forever in history."

Alexander frowned. Destiny, so many tell him of his destiny. Tell him of future greatness, but only the promise of it from Hephaistion's lips seemed to make it real or possible.

"Of course I will, but not without your help."

Hephaistion smiled. He would make sure the prince saw his dreams come true. He would make certain of it even if it cost him his life.

"So Hephaistion, if I understand you, after I die and my name flows on in the great course of history, the people in the future who discover our drawings will wonder who made this with Alexander the Great? Do you like that Hephaistion, Alexander the great?"

Hephaistion nodded as Alexander continued.

"And as they do research, if they are smart and they dig and dig, they will notice the H you put and wonder if the H is for the man who had always been at my side?"

Hephaistion kissed Alexander's hand and drew the prince closer. "Alexander the Great and H the mysterious myth."

" Do not make light of it Hephaistion." Scolded Alexander. "But, then those same people will also always wonder if they are correct or not? And so they will keep digging." He paused, "I see, your very own way to became a Myth by yourself... that's genius Hephaistion."

"You think so Alexander the great?"

Alexander smiled. "I wish you the best Hephaistion. I know you will succeed my love."

"I wish the same for you Alexander."

Bagoas watched as Alexander's face suddenly it up.

"They wonder?" he asked. His eyes now intent on Bagoas. «They wonder about my Hephaistion? Bagoas.»

Bagoas nodded.

Alexander stood up without saying a word. Let Bagoas and the world ask their questions. As far as he was concerned Hephaistion's memory was his and his alone. He would make their digging no easier for them. He crossed to where Hephaistion's statue stood and after studying it for a time he reached out and stroked the cool stone cheek as tenderly as he would have stroked the mans in life. He missed the rasp of stubble that should have caught at his skin. He loved the statue but he hated the coolness of it. It was like the cold that sets in after death. He shuddered and pushed away the thought. He'd have it moved nearer the window, maybe the sun's rays would warm it a bit.

"You did succeed my friend and be sure, I will keep alive your Myth until I finally, gladly join you." He thought. Then he kissed his finger tips and placed them gently to the statue's unyielding lips. "Soon, my Hephaistion, soon."

Epilogue.

No one replaced Hephaistion's place in Alexander's heart, as nobody succeed him as a chilliarch. Hephaistion was dead but he now haunted them. If the men had thought of him a bother in life they now began to see that in death he was a far more dangerous man. In death he was as potentially dangerous as a simple assassin. From death he was slowly killing their king.

Bagoas could do nothing more then witness his beloved king's steady, march to join his beloved.

A mysterious death. Was he murdered? Had he finally destroyed his body to the point a fever defeated the young man? Did the answer truly matter to Bagoas? His king was certainly happier dead than alive, without Hephaistion.

Even as he was taking his last breath, he was holding the general's ring up to the sky, as a last reminder of how important Hephaistion had been to him, of how the only thing that mattered now was the two of them would soon be together again.

It was a sad reminder that Alexander had never belonged to them, but only to his beloved Hephaistion.

With Alexander's death, his legend, his Myth began alongside of Hephaistion's.

End